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Real life v.s. Online personality

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    #32
    thepikminman
    Registered Users Posts: 178 ✭✭thepikminman


    Autonomous Cowherd wrote: »
    Two things I observe. 1) I am better with written words than spoken words. I can compose myself better in print, and am somewhat shy and stumbling in 'speech'. This is apparently an introvert trait. The internet is a great place for introverts to express themselves. :)

    God I know exactly what you mean. Online, even with people who know me as an extremely awkward weird guy in real life, I also hold my own and am funny, entertaining, normal etc i.e. not an outcast. I think it's because when it's in text, that's all there is to focus on, not the expressions, the tone, the volume, the enthusiasm - just the text. That's another thing that p*sses me off about people - I wish they'd just focus on what you say, not the way you're saying it, or why you might be saying it.


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    #33
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Most people have a filter. Or as it's also called good manners. We all think horrible thoughts but most people have empathy and don't want to hurt other human beings. I don't see anything wrong with that.


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    #34
    eyerer
    Registered Users Posts: 1,935 ✭✭✭eyerer


    thepikminman wrote: »
    That's another thing that p*sses me off about people - I wish they'd just focus on what you say, not the way you're saying it, or why you might be saying it.
    Agreed. People almost never pay attention to the actual words you use in real life lol


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    #35
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    thepikminman wrote: »
    Yeah, I suppose when it comes down to it, it's just human instinct that stops most people from being their real, horrible selves (youtube comments etc are proof of how people are really thinking).

    What I meant was that people feel less empathy online, which creates more aggressive behaviour. You are less likely to see what they are like online, as opposed to what they are actually like in real life.


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    #36
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,974 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Hah! It's so funny when people are full of bravado online and then totally full of bs in real life. You also have to take with a pinch of salt when people go to great lengths to describe how/who they are offline. If you're a d*ck, you're a d*ck. Don't be all 'I'm not like this in real life at all ' You maybe able to hide it better in real life, but I reckon the 'hidden behind a keyboard* a$$hole is an insight into how d*ckish someone is.


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    #37
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    Hannibal_Smith wrote: »
    Hah! It's so funny when people are full of bravado online and then totally full of bs in real life. You also have to take with a pinch of salt when people go to great lengths to describe how/who they are offline. If you're a d*ck, you're a d*ck. Don't be all 'I'm not like this in real life at all ' You maybe able to hide it better in real life, but I reckon the 'hidden behind a keyboard* a$$hole is an insight into how d*ckish someone is.

    Says the lad with the new account.


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    #38
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,974 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Pat Mustard wrote: »
    Says the lad with the new account.

    What's that got to do with online/offline personalities?


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    #39
    Ben Gadot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,767 ✭✭✭Ben Gadot


    ManOfMystery wrote: »
    My personal opinion is that if your online personality is quite different in a negative way, then it's a sign of cowardice. You are typing things that you wouldn't say in real life because the chances of repercussions online are much, much less than they are in real life. I believe this is how and why trolls operate, and how and why some people who are fairly reserved in real life suddenly become this outspoken and sometime aggressive personality online. 

    Personally, I try and behave online the same way I do in real life. It doesn't take a lot of effort. Why feed conflict and hostility and anger just to make a point online, if you lack the conviction to do so in real life? Being an authoritative figure on the internet is a totally false illusion if you're unable to be that person in real life.

    I think that's true in general when it comes to communication by text whether it's by phone or Internet.

    What I've found is that there's nothing like a good shock to snap one out of bad behaviour online. It sounds stupid I know but all it takes is a chance encounter in real life to remind yourself that there's an actual person on the other end of your careless words.

    Speaking from experience as a bloke who has done it. I keep to myself now online which is ironically way more in line with my actual personality. I certainly don't look to cause myself any unnecessary grief anymore.


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    #40
    Pat Mustard
    Registered Users Posts: 9,554 ✭✭✭Pat Mustard


    Hannibal_Smith wrote: »
    What's that got to do with online/offline personalities?

    Just hopping the ball offya


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    #41
    sashafierce
    Registered Users Posts: 3,599 ✭✭✭sashafierce


    This post has been deleted.


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    #42
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,620 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    If you want to see an Internet forum full of hate-filled opinions, then go to Stormfront. I'd bet 95% of those who post their facist hate there wouldn't say boo to a goose.


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    #43
    Ben Gadot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,767 ✭✭✭Ben Gadot


    sashafierce wrote: »
    No one is completely anonymous online its also important to remember that. There has been cases of people ending up in court because of what they have said online. Which I totally agree with.

    Which should be easier to do, or at the very least to get someone down to their local garda station to scare the **** out of them.


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    #44
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    No different. Regularly go from saying things here to saying them in real life and vice versa.


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    #45
    thepikminman
    Registered Users Posts: 178 ✭✭thepikminman


    Pat Mustard wrote: »
    You are less likely to see what they are like online, as opposed to what they are actually like in real life.

    I think the online version is the truer version, not the other way around. There's definitely a difference in the two, but real life has all those risks of actual confrontation, so it makes sense that people are holding back their thoughts in real life.

    I'm sure lack of empathy plays a part in mean online behavior too though, but mainly I think we just don't see the real bad people in real life because they're afraid, not because they have more empathy.


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    #46
    RobertKK
    Registered Users Posts: 33,730 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    I say online what I would say in person to someone, only difference is I wouldn't be engaging strangers in real life, and I would avoid tricky subjects that are possibly contentious with strangers.

    The thing is we don't really know the person we are engaging with online, they could be suffering depression for all one knows, so I just attack the issue rather than the person, as I want people to attack my opinion if they disagree rather than make it personal, which does nothing positive.
    If I get attacked personally on social media and its nothing to do with the subject, I simply block. One does not need such people in one's life.
    I try to act online as I would in real life, try and be nice to people, if they are not, well I don't want you in my life.

    I just want people to be honest with their opinion, and if I disagree, I give my opinion, but one has to remember in life whether real life or online life, everyone is entitled to have a different opinion, and just leave it at that.
    It makes real life and online life easier, debate something but be respectful of the other person. So I'm relatively similar to my online presence.


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    #47
    thepikminman
    Registered Users Posts: 178 ✭✭thepikminman


    RobertKK wrote: »
    I say online what I would say in person to someone, only difference is I wouldn't be engaging strangers in real life, and I would avoid tricky subjects that are possibly contentious with strangers.

    The thing is we don't really know the person we are engaging with online, they could be suffering depression for all one knows, so I just attack the issue rather than the person

    I just want people to be honest with their opinion, and if I disagree, I give my opinion, but one has to remember in life whether real life or online life, everyone is entitled to have a different opinion, and just leave it at that.
    It makes real life and online life easier, debate something but be respectful of the other person. So I'm relatively similar to my online presence.

    "attack the issue rather than the person" - I wish everyone did that. Your post made me think that, in a way, online personalities are the most real form of opinion because there are no outside irrelevant factors affecting the conversation (unless its social media), like looks, wealth, social skills etc - it's just based on what we're actually saying. F*ck real life, I'm gonna become an online slug. Thank you, sincerely.


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    #48
    JackTaylorFan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,452 ✭✭✭JackTaylorFan


    I don't think my behaviour/personality online is very different than it is in real life - though I think, unintentionally, I do tend put my foot in it more online than I do IRL - or I misjudge the tone in my reply - which is very easy to do even with smileys - which up til recently I was loathe to use. Of course, there is the odd occasion when I am overly aggresive in my reply - usually when I suspect somebody is talking bullshine.

    In both RL and online I say what I mean almost 100% of the time. Though beinh an introvert, I probably get more opportunity to say these things online.

    Also, if I disagree with someone online, I think it's more likely due to the fact that IRL I would never encounter them - so challenging them online for their often obnoxious, sometimes repugnant, opinions is just far more likely a scenario. There is also less chance of being threatened with violence online too - as I imagine a lot of the people I argue with would turm to violence sooner than later.


    People who go online with the sole intention of causing offence are pretty sad though. I do wonder what's missing in someone's life that they need to comment some vile piece of hate on a news article, youtube video, etc. for lols or a genuine disturbance or whatever - it's just not healthy.


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    #49
    B.A._Baracus
    Registered Users Posts: 11,179 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Dare I be blunt it's people being a*sholes.
    The Internet has given people a platform to say what they really think and feel. Because you can hide behind your keyboard and have no confrontation.


    Personally I don't get it tho. I'm me on the Internet and the same in person. Never got hiding people keyboards cause it's a real weasel thing to do if you do not say the same in the real world.


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    #50
    fizzypish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    thepikminman wrote: »
    I think the online version is the truer version, not the other way around. There's definitely a difference in the two, but real life has all those risks of actual confrontation, so it makes sense that people are holding back their thoughts in real life.

    I'm sure lack of empathy plays a part in mean online behavior too though, but mainly I think we just don't see the real bad people in real life because they're afraid, not because they have more empathy.

    Actions have always spoken louder than words. Someone threatening to kick the **** out of me will never be as bad as the lad/lass who actually does it. I can't help but get the impression your young. My personality only settled properly around 25ish and some of the things your saying remind me of a younger version of myself which I've grown out of. I used to think that people were more honest with drink in the system. Not the case, the filter and error checking mechanism between brain and mouth are bypassed. I think online is similar in that the mechanisms are bypassed again but its due to the lack of repercussions. I'm not trying to **** on you as this is a good thread and discussion but you must know that the way your phrasing certain things comes across as cunty (It could simply be something that I perceive though). You'll catch more flies with honey.


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    #51
    .......
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


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    #52
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    ....... wrote: »
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    I struggled with this for a long time too, particularly when afflicted with persistent horrible thoughts. It's a bit of a new-age tenet - ultimately hollow though everywhere repeated - that we are our thoughts. A very dangerous belief, in my opinion, which causes terrible guilt to many afflicted by perfectly commonplace dreadful thought forms. Our thoughts for the most part are wholly and helplessly conditioned, often by trauma, habit, desires, or casual laziness that prevents us from interrogating them. We are not our petty repetitive boring monstrous thoughts. If we were truly our thoughts we would most of us be monsters. We are in fact that ''seer'' which is aware of those thoughts....and generally thank goodness we step in with discipline and good sense before we let our silly thoughts ruin our lives. If you want to know who you are ''in real life'' don't worry about what you think so much as what you actually DO.


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    #53
    Hans Bricks
    Registered Users Posts: 850 ✭✭✭Hans Bricks


    ManOfMystery wrote: »
    My personal opinion is that if your online personality is quite different in a negative way, then it's a sign of cowardice. You are typing things that you wouldn't say in real life because the chances of repercussions online are much, much less than they are in real life. I believe this is how and why trolls operate, and how and why some people who are fairly reserved in real life suddenly become this outspoken and sometime aggressive personality online. 


    Personally, I try and behave online the same way I do in real life. It doesn't take a lot of effort. Why feed conflict and hostility and anger just to make a point online, if you lack the conviction to do so in real life? Being an authoritative figure on the internet is a totally false illusion if you're unable to be that person in real life.

    +1.

    I used to read boards.ie before I ever made an account. A comment/opinion I gave on a public Facebook conversation about boards.ie in general didn't sit too well with a particular veteran poster. He/she actually went onto my facebook and began sharing an old pic of me on a reaction thread to this conversation as a result. Then after I had made an account many months later , the same poster told me to stop "whining like a bitch" on a completely separate thread topic because, once again, my opinion upset him so much.

    These are the types of anonymous keyboard cretins who would make sure to look at their shoes as they walk past you on the street.


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    #54
    fizzypish
    Registered Users Posts: 1,000 ✭✭✭fizzypish


    ....... wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Really depends on the person. If you post a knee jerk reaction without allowing the idea to be properly analyses then its your thought only at the time of typing. Often times I've listen to podcasts I disagreed with but after 20 minutes mulling it over I was able to pull out some useful points. My comment would have gone from "Pure ****" to "I disagree with 80% of this but agree with x y z"

    If your a trollish poster, maybe those are your thoughts or maybe you just enjoy inciting a bit of anarchy and arguments without repercussions. I think the online persona gives us all a chance to put our best foot forward. I believe I can articulate much better in text than I can verbally and I still fail a lot. To play devils advocate to your fake representation, the only reason they put those ideas across online is they are shielded and don't have the courage of conviction to say it in ordinary life. Two sides of the same coin really. Put in another light, the way people act versus what they think deep down probably doesn't align all the time either.


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    #55
    .......
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


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    #56
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    ....... wrote: »
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    The seer doesn't have thoughts.

    But yes, there are different types of thoughts, different assemblies of experience we refer to as ''mind'', some more real or true than others, but none of them ultimate. Personalities might be thoughts, but personalities are mutable. We are not even our personalities, though many of us cling to that identity. Others however have more fluid identities over a single lifetime, just depends. Really, truly, we are not our thoughts. They are a function within us(which fluctuates), but not us. Even our most embedded thought, one which we feel can never ever be challenged or uprooted, can change.

    Mostly what we do online or in real life is playing at being. It's fine.


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    #57
    topper75
    Registered Users Posts: 5,942 ✭✭✭topper75


    The answer to this question and so many, many other questions is found in country music.

    Take it away Brad...


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    #58
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    topper75 wrote: »
    The answer to this question and so many, many other questions is found in country music.

    Take it away Brad...

    Haha! :D Great


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    #59
    Rhyme
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 8,561 Mod ✭✭✭✭Rhyme


    I'm typically a more initially positive person online as I can reflect on what I type before I do so. In real life, I'll pause and maybe tease out a problem with someone before reaching that positivity. Cynical, black humour is the same online and offline.

    I had a stammer when I was a child and into my teens so I'm a lot more wordy in text over speech as well.


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    #60
    .......
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


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    #61
    Autonomous Cowherd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,100 ✭✭✭Autonomous Cowherd


    ....... wrote: »
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    We are talking about different things in the long run. By playing I don't mean messing with other people's heads. I mean it in a wider bigger sense. Life.

    People should not be nasty. Full stop. But people are nasty. They don't even really know why they are - lots of irrational thoughts and stimuli they/ we find irresistible. Making others suffer because they / we suffer. The ones they / we are nasty to would be better off knowing that it is not some well thought out plot against them, but rather as a result of irrationality and compulsion.


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