Real life v.s. Online personality

thepikminman

As I'm sure you all know, we see a very different side of people in youtube comments, and online in general. There's no way people would say what they say online in real life.

I'm an extreme example of this. I'm incredibly shy and anxious in real life, and never say close to what's on my mind to people. I always hold back. To the extend where I've only just realized that you're not supposed to do that, and that people do speak SOME of their minds at least. I always, for some bizarre reason, thought it was natural to just not be myself with people.

But online, in comments and threads, I have no problem voicing my full opinion, whether it causes conflict or not I don't care, and I'm sure most people are like that. That means that I obviously don't care what people think about what I'm saying and am confident in it, so what's stopping me in real life from doing it? Maybe the majority of us are just cowards in a way.... Or maybe it's the fear of real-life conflict. Any thoughts?

Drunk as a Skunk

I'm a total asshole online but in real life I'm a very nice person. Once online you are essentially free to do and say as you wish. It's a good thing, embrace it.

thepikminman

Drunk as a Skunk wrote: »

I'm a total asshole online but in real life I'm a very nice person. Once online you are essentially free to do and say as you wish. It's a good thing, embrace it.

Yeah, but my question is why do we act differently online? It's quite pathetic when you think about it.

Merkin

thepikminman wrote: »

Yeah, but my question is why do we act differently online? It's quite pathetic when you think about it.

What's your issue exactly? PI isn't the place for general discussion.

thepikminman

Merkin wrote: »

What's your issue exactly? PI isn't the place for general discussion.

Didn't realise, is there a way for me to change it, I can't see the option, or will I re-post it in general discussion?

fizzypish

thepikminman wrote: »

Didn't realise, is there a way for me to change it, I can't see the option, or will I re-post it in general discussion?

Anonymity and knee jerk reactions. You already know that you can say whatever you want on the net without repercussions. This is true but if you want to stop being an internet dick/troll then stop treating it this way. Do I disagree with this persons opinion? Do I have anything new to post? Can I disagree with this person while respecting their opinion? Do I need to call them a **** (99% of the time the answer is no)? If I create a thread or post am I writing it in a way thats incendiary or cunty? Am I feeding the trolls? If your real personality can answer these questions in a normal well balanced way then your online persona should reflect this. Realistically you already know the answer to this thread question (jesus that sound douchy...) but change is hard. Writing this I deleted about 4 sentences that I realized were not making a useful point and even though I didn't mean it as a dig would have been construed that way. Think before you type.
Good luck.

ManOfMystery

My personal opinion is that if your online personality is quite different in a negative way, then it's a sign of cowardice. You are typing things that you wouldn't say in real life because the chances of repercussions online are much, much less than they are in real life. I believe this is how and why trolls operate, and how and why some people who are fairly reserved in real life suddenly become this outspoken and sometime aggressive personality online. 


Personally, I try and behave online the same way I do in real life. It doesn't take a lot of effort. Why feed conflict and hostility and anger just to make a point online, if you lack the conviction to do so in real life? Being an authoritative figure on the internet is a totally false illusion if you're unable to be that person in real life.

blairbear

OP, I think the issue that was pointed out to you was that you were quite nasty online. You were in your most recent thread. I don't think that's being outspoken or ballsy or honest. I think you just have a rude online persona.

It's reassuring to know you are different in real life. Please don't try to echo your online persona.

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ManOfMystery

So clearly some people have something internal that stops them doing bad things - regardless of consequences.

It's a moral compass. I've had this discussion with some friends who are religious (I'm close to being an atheist at this stage) who can't seem to wrap their head around why I'm not out raping and pillaging given that I believe there's no punishment (or reward) in any potential afterlife. 

Asides from the fact that I don't want to go to jail, I don't believe in hurting other people or causing suffering/stress. Morals are there so we can work in harmony and unity and the human race will progress better with that approach than through hostility and war.

Walter H Price

i say what i like and don't overly give a Fcuk what people think as much in rel life as i do online , love a good debate not afraid to openly voice an opinion weather its controversial or not.

sashafierce

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Merkin

Moved to After Hours.

sashafierce

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Peregrine

I'm actually even more of an asshole in real life..

OldMrBrennan83

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Winterlong

With me the divergence is between my work and personal life.

ongarboy

It seems like there is confusion in this thread by OP and maybe some others that being honest and upfront about what you believe in or what you demonstrate in actions or in words should automatically also mean you don't care if you hurt anyone with you actions or words in the real world or online.  That is not true. You can be an honest person who speaks your mind but also have empathy.   This means respecting others opinions without having to agree with them whilst still maintaining your own beliefs and opinions and being able to stand up for yourself..
I suspect if the OP has been treated poorly and without respect in real life and he doesn't have the ability to stand up for himself, this manifests itself into deep rooted resentment which he acts out by being hostile online as it is the only outlet where he can remain anonymous and shielded from real world recriminations yet vent his frustrations in a way he could  never do in the real world.  Trolls thrive in such an environment (I'm not saying you are one OP).  I also think that anyone who feels the need to say they don't give a f**k about what they say or what anyone else thinks is actually emphasizing how much they do care and are using bravado, keyboard warrior tactics and projection to disguise it. If I genuinely didn't care what anyone else ever thought, I don't think I'd feel the need to go around convincing everyone of that fact. I wouldn't need to boast about it rub it in people's faces for reaction.....because that would mean I did care....  (it's like someone with wealth feeling the need to let everyone else know they're wealthy, a confident person who is happy within themselves doesn't need to go out of their way to do that)

Boom_Bap

In real life I know what a Tracker Mortgage is.

BrokenArrows

thepikminman wrote: »

As I'm sure you all know, we see a very different side of people in youtube comments, and online in general. There's no way people would say what they say online in real life.

I'm an extreme example of this. I'm incredibly shy and anxious in real life, and never say close to what's on my mind to people. I always hold back. To the extend where I've only just realized that you're not supposed to do that, and that people do speak SOME of their minds at least. I always, for some bizarre reason, thought it was natural to just not be myself with people.

But online, in comments and threads, I have no problem voicing my full opinion, whether it causes conflict or not I don't care, and I'm sure most people are like that. That means that I obviously don't care what people think about what I'm saying and am confident in it, so what's stopping me in real life from doing it? Maybe the majority of us are just cowards in a way.... Or maybe it's the fear of real-life conflict. Any thoughts?

People obviously act differently online because they are anonymous in most cases and unless you go way too far then your opinions and actions have no repercussions.

Ideally if you are a generally well balanced person then your real life vs online personality will be reasonably similar and not some crazy extreme like a Nun in real life but an insane racist nazi online.

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thepikminman

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I know, that's so true. the internet is what really makes me doubt the goodness in people, and makes me think it's not because they're good people, it's because they're cowards/desperate to be liked. 90% of people anyway

thepikminman

ongarboy wrote: »

I suspect if the OP has been treated poorly and without respect in real life and he doesn't have the ability to stand up for himself, this manifests itself into deep rooted resentment which he acts out by being hostile online as it is the only outlet where he can remain anonymous and shielded from real world recriminations yet vent his frustrations in a way he could  never do in the real world.  Trolls thrive in such an environment (I'm not saying you are one OP).

My exact thoughts on the subject. And also in real life, no matter how strong/valid your opinion is, is you speak with a timid voice, don't make good eyes contact, are awkward etc, people walk all over you and treat you with no respect regardless of what your saying. These things aren't a factor online.

thepikminman

blairbear wrote: »

OP, I think the issue that was pointed out to you was that you were quite nasty online. You were in your most recent thread. I don't think that's being outspoken or ballsy or honest. I think you just have a rude online persona.

It's reassuring to know you are different in real life. Please don't try to echo your online persona.

Thanks for the life advice, but that's not what this thread's about. Whether or not I was "nasty" in my previous thread, that was the real me, and I always heard you're supposed to be yourself right?

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eyerer

I was a young teenager when internet communication really took off and there was no nannying or anything about it, people were (and still are) total assholes online and I wasn't ready for that. Porn isn't the only dodgy thing on the internet for youngsters.

Online bullying is a thing now ffs. And yes they're definitely cowards.

Pat Mustard

ManOfMystery wrote: »

My personal opinion is that if your online personality is quite different in a negative way, then it's a sign of cowardice. You are typing things that you wouldn't say in real life because the chances of repercussions online are much, much less than they are in real life. I believe this is how and why trolls operate, and how and why some people who are fairly reserved in real life suddenly become this outspoken and sometime aggressive personality online.

There are a number of articles about online aggression and lack of empathy. These articles (such as this one) point to anonymity as a factor. Also, in everyday life, we receive feedback in relation to what we do. This feedback is not as accessible online. You can't see people's faces, there is no eye contact, you can't hear the tone of voice, etc. There is less empathy for other people, online.

To use a road-rage analogy, people will do things behind the wheel of a car that they would not do if they were simply walking along the street. It's something similar online and although anonymity plays a part, it's not the sole reason that people behave in the way that they do.

Autonomous Cowherd

Two things I observe. 1) I am better with written words than spoken words. I can compose myself better in print, and am somewhat shy and stumbling in 'speech'. This is apparently an introvert trait. The internet is a great place for introverts to express themselves.
2) When I first went online (not that many years ago) I made a couple of friends in some social forums. I thought I was actually meeting similar types for wide-ranging and good discussion in areas we shared mutual interests. It turns out people on the Internet can be really, really hurtful...the first time some one I sincerely thought of as a good friend (after a few years of regular and friendly communication) was stupendously horrible to me online the physical pain was like a kick to the gut and the shock was enormous. Far greater than in person when I might have responded with a hearty ''Stuff You!'' and moved on instantly. This pain delivered via an ethereal electrical medium lingered for a silly length of time, mainly i think because it involves so much projection and there is no physical point in which to anchor any resolution. The perfect mind -fcuk. It has made me understand how teenagers and younger people can be devastated beyond belief by online bullying.

thepikminman

Pat Mustard wrote: »

There are a number of articles about online aggression and lack of empathy. These articles (such as this one) point to anonymity as a factor. Also, in everyday life, we receive feedback in relation to what we do. This feedback is not as accessible online. You can't see people's faces, there is no eye contact, you can't hear the tone of voice, etc. There is less empathy for other people, online.

To use a road-rage analogy, people will do things behind the wheel of a car that they would not do if they were simply walking along the street. It's something similar online and although anonymity plays a part, it's not the sole reason that people behave in the way that they do.

Yeah, I suppose when it comes down to it, it's just human instinct that stops most people from being their real, horrible selves (youtube comments etc are proof of how people are really thinking).

This thread is really becoming an epiphany for me - the only thing holding people back from saying what's on their mind is pathetic human instinct, if one can get past that, then they're free to speak their mind. Obviously if that person's a bad person they won't get positive results from speaking their mind, but if you're socially fecked (like me), it kind of helps to realise "jesus, I need to stop being afraid of people's responses, it's so pathetic".

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