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Am I better off walking

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  • 20-12-2016 12:48pm
    #1
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭


    I started dating a lady a few weeks ago and she's off on a break in Spain,but she jokingly said laughing she might end up meeting a Spanish guy...
    I laughed it off...
    I'm 41 she's 43,she sent me a Viber text asking how I was I said I'm happy out working away.

    Then she sent me a picture of these three random guys in a bar she's having the craic and drinking with...

    I text back saying looks like you're having a great time....

    She read the message,no reply then was online all day...nothing

    Is it normal for a woman to text a guy she supposedly likes of a picture of Guy's she's spending the day drinking with,then ignore my message back.....

    I had this before and it was nothing but drama and dishonesty.

    I wouldn't be dating a lady and on my holidays send her a photo of three random women I am out drinking with for the day....

    Everyone is entitled to spend time with whoever they like,but that scenario is a red flag to me.

    Very immature behavior.


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    #2
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    I would move on. Less headwreckers out there


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    #3
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Thanks.
    My friends said that too,said if she liked me she'd not be sending photos like that.

    It's just something I wouldn't do,now she's entitled to do what she likes but it's not very in keeping with wanting to impress a guy's she's dating at home.


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    #4
    Nesser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭Nesser


    Wouldn't have an issue with her going off on holidays without you after a few weeks.

    But behaviour like that. She's deliberately messing with your head. Trying to make you jealous. Whether or not she goes off with anyone is beside the point. She is trying to put idea into your head. You are better off without headwrecking game players like that. Finish it because she won't till she is done playing with you.


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    #5
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Exactly she was at that love bombing **** too,buying me gifts talking about stuff she'd like to do with me in the New Year etc.....
    You're right she's entitled to go on holiday whenever she likes,but sending random photos of guy's she's out with was a stupid thing to do.


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    #6
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users Posts: 18,301 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    Has all the hallmarks of drama in the future if you ask me, I wouldn't be impressed if I were in your shoes.

    If you aren't that invested yet then yes, I would consider stepping back from her for now.


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    #7
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    From a previous relationship I had which had a similar undercurrent it only got worse,shes very charming and full of compliments.....

    The Good old make a man or woman feel great then pull out the rug from underneath them.

    Keep them in check like.


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    #8
    Atlantic Dawn
    Registered Users Posts: 81,891 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn
    M


    Send her a photo of you out with 3 random women and see what her reaction is.


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    #9
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    Yes, I'd walk. You're only dating a few weeks and she's already trying to make you jealous. People like her don't send photos like that innocently, especially after the "I might meet a Spanish guy!" comment - she's obviously got an ulterior motive.

    For me, I'd see it as sign of insecurity of some kind on her part and wanting to invoke some kind of jealousy in you, or else she's such an attention seeker she has to have these guys round her on holiday and also get a reaction from you. Either way, it's immature and silly and will probably just get worse. At 43, she doesn't need to be pulling teenage crap like that.


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    #10
    GingerLily
    Registered Users Posts: 4,767 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    Either ask her why she sent it and be upfront, or ignore her and move on if you're sure she's playing games.

    There could be an innocent reason for the pic, you won't know unless you ask her.


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    #11
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Atlantic Dawn wrote:
    Send her a photo of you out with 3 random women and see what her reaction is.


    I could if I wanted to lol where I work there's plenty of beautiful women,but I wouldn't get into the game.

    My friend is a love addict and she suggested I walk away,because she used to be at that sht with men and it's only going to get worse....it's a game...

    Shower a guy or girl with affection then when you get bored pull the carpet from underneath them....

    They call it love bombing


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    #12
    Nesser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭Nesser


    She's a textbook psychopath. Photo was deliberate and has a very definite purpose. Remark was deliberate.
    Walk away while you still can.


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    #13
    tupenny
    Registered Users Posts: 1,439 ✭✭✭tupenny


    Definitely walk would be my advice. Trying to make you jealous; Immature, and as someone said above, I'd predict she will be all drama if you stick it out


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    #14
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    I'm a hard man to crack, I know guy's and women who married people like this.
    I don't get jealous I just can't be with players I'm too good for that ****


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    #15
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users Posts: 3,390 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    She sounds like a nutjob, deliberately trying to make you jealous and acting bizarrely immature. Very odd behaviour. She really doesnt sound like shes worth your time and you need to higher your standards.


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    #16
    Yellow pack crisps
    Registered Users Posts: 564 ✭✭✭Yellow pack crisps


    If it's newish and only dating I'd leave it be but just tell her you're not feeling it as opposed to that specific reason as she will more than likely cause drama and accuse you of being controlling and have jealousy issues.


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    #17
    Loveinapril
    Registered Users Posts: 2,331 ✭✭✭Loveinapril


    She appears to be trying to incite drama and jealousy. I would think part of her ignoring your message was because she didn't get the reaction she wanted from you. Your next text will probably be something about how she lost track of time/ was too busy having the craic to respond. When she gets back, as another poster said, just say you aren't feeling it anymore. Her behaviour is teenage nonsense.


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    #18
    Emme
    Registered Users Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭Emme


    Walk. There are plenty of other women you could be dating.


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    #19
    timmy880
    Registered Users Posts: 306 ✭✭timmy880


    Trying to make you jealous... Which at your stage of life (any stage) is just a headwreck. Move on from this one.


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    #20
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Update

    She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
    Said it was a random photo lol
    Nothing to it like

    I said I'm just not going to be taken for a fool and I'm no naive idiot who gets jealous or needy,and I expect things to run smoothly.

    She's heading back to Spain for the New Year celebrations.

    I'm thinking of just let it be well do our own thing seperately until she comes back from Spain in the New Year and see where we can go from there.

    I'm in no hurry


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    #21
    silverharp
    Registered Users Posts: 17,856 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    Stealthfins wrote: »
    Update

    She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
    Said it was a random photo lol
    Nothing to it like

    I said I'm just not going to be taken for a fool and I'm no naive idiot who gets jealous or needy,and I expect things to run smoothly.

    She's heading back to Spain for the New Year celebrations.

    I'm thinking of just let it be well do our own thing seperately until she comes back from Spain in the New Year and see where we can go from there.

    I'm in no hurry

    out of curiosity have you decided you dont want kids?

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



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    #22
    Lux23
    Registered Users Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    43 going on 17. She doesn't sound worth it.


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    #23
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,870 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Stealthfins wrote: »
    She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
    Said it was a random photo lol
    Nothing to it like

    Why bother, though? If you continue a relationship with her she will continue to "do stupid things". It's attention seeking and by sticking around you are giving her the attention, and the green light to go ahead and continue doing stupid things.

    You've been here before. She's 43. Have you time and space in your head for all that childish carry on? It's something you might put up with in your teens, but there comes a point where you move on to better. She sounds like my sister-in-law, also in her 40s. She doesn't "work at: being mental" on her Facebook page, by any chance?!


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    #24
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    silverharp wrote:
    out of curiosity have you decided you dont want kids?

    I have a 16 year old already.
    I'm not interested in anymore kids.


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    #25
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    I don't know as I am not on facebook,but she has a fairly responsible job,so I don't think it would look good her describing her job as being mental.

    She's a Dr in her area,highly intelligent academicly but sometimes when someone is very academicly intelligent, they're emotional intelligence is so so.


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    #26
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,870 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Is she worth all the arsing around? You're the only one who can decide, because you're the one who will be in a relationship with her. Does she even want an exclusive relationship? Do you?


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    #27
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Big Bag of Chips wrote:
    Is she worth all the arsing around? You're the only one who can decide, because you're the one who will be in a relationship with her. Does she even want an exclusive relationship? Do you?


    Nobody's worth arsing around for.
    I'm better off being single.
    If I'm being honest,because I'm not putting myself through the ringer again.
    Because I'm worth it ðŸ˜


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    #28
    Nesser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭Nesser


    She sensed that she had gone too far and that there was a risk of you walking so she said what she needed to say to keep you hanging in.
    The games will continue. They already have. you will be wondering now who she will be spending new years with. Till she gets bored with you or has destroyed you. You say that you are going to end it but I think it is already too late and you are trapped in her web.


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    #29
    ...__...
    Registered Users Posts: 507 ✭✭✭...__...


    Stealthfins wrote: »
    Update

    She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
    Said it was a random photo lol
    Nothing to it like

    I said I'm just not going to be taken for a fool and I'm no naive idiot who gets jealous or needy,and I expect things to run smoothly.

    She's heading back to Spain for the New Year celebrations.

    I'm thinking of just let it be well do our own thing seperately until she comes back from Spain in the New Year and see where we can go from there.

    I'm in no hurry


    Out of curiosity did you contact her again or did she eventually reply saying sorry?

    I would be running from her as the not replying to a message would be just irritating.
    Combine that with lavishing male attention I would walk and start the new year with a clear head.


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    #30
    Stealthfins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Stealthfins


    Nesser wrote:
    She sensed that she had gone too far and that there was a risk of you walking so she said what she needed to say to keep you hanging in. The games will continue. They already have. you will be wondering now who she will be spending new years with. Till she gets bored with you or has destroyed you. You say that you are going to end it but I think it is already too late and you are trapped in her web.

    I'm not trapped in her web lol
    Exactly I know what you mean when you say I'll be wondering what's she's up-to on new year's....
    Kinda odd she's off to Spain again on her own for new year's lol
    After being there for the last Week,same place she goes quite regularly lol

    I've seen it all before..


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    #31
    Nesser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭Nesser


    Stealthfins wrote: »
    I'm not trapped in her web lol
    Exactly I know what you mean when you say I'll be wondering what's she's up-to on new year's....
    Kinda odd she's off to Spain again on her own for new year's lol
    After being there for the last Week,same place she goes quite regularly lol

    I've seen it all before..

    If I were you I'd give her an ultimatium. Tell her you want to spend New Years with her in Spain or its over. Letting it hang till next year to "see how it goes" would be a big mistake .


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