Am I better off walking

Stealthfins

I started dating a lady a few weeks ago and she's off on a break in Spain,but she jokingly said laughing she might end up meeting a Spanish guy...
I laughed it off...
I'm 41 she's 43,she sent me a Viber text asking how I was I said I'm happy out working away.

Then she sent me a picture of these three random guys in a bar she's having the craic and drinking with...

I text back saying looks like you're having a great time....

She read the message,no reply then was online all day...nothing

Is it normal for a woman to text a guy she supposedly likes of a picture of Guy's she's spending the day drinking with,then ignore my message back.....

I had this before and it was nothing but drama and dishonesty.

I wouldn't be dating a lady and on my holidays send her a photo of three random women I am out drinking with for the day....

Everyone is entitled to spend time with whoever they like,but that scenario is a red flag to me.

Very immature behavior.

Mr. Incognito

I would move on. Less headwreckers out there

Stealthfins

Thanks.
My friends said that too,said if she liked me she'd not be sending photos like that.

It's just something I wouldn't do,now she's entitled to do what she likes but it's not very in keeping with wanting to impress a guy's she's dating at home.

Nesser

Wouldn't have an issue with her going off on holidays without you after a few weeks.

But behaviour like that. She's deliberately messing with your head. Trying to make you jealous. Whether or not she goes off with anyone is beside the point. She is trying to put idea into your head. You are better off without headwrecking game players like that. Finish it because she won't till she is done playing with you.

Stealthfins

Exactly she was at that love bombing **** too,buying me gifts talking about stuff she'd like to do with me in the New Year etc.....
You're right she's entitled to go on holiday whenever she likes,but sending random photos of guy's she's out with was a stupid thing to do.

bucketybuck

Has all the hallmarks of drama in the future if you ask me, I wouldn't be impressed if I were in your shoes.

If you aren't that invested yet then yes, I would consider stepping back from her for now.

Stealthfins

From a previous relationship I had which had a similar undercurrent it only got worse,shes very charming and full of compliments.....

The Good old make a man or woman feel great then pull out the rug from underneath them.

Keep them in check like.

Atlantic Dawn

Send her a photo of you out with 3 random women and see what her reaction is.

ManOfMystery

Yes, I'd walk. You're only dating a few weeks and she's already trying to make you jealous. People like her don't send photos like that innocently, especially after the "I might meet a Spanish guy!" comment - she's obviously got an ulterior motive.

For me, I'd see it as sign of insecurity of some kind on her part and wanting to invoke some kind of jealousy in you, or else she's such an attention seeker she has to have these guys round her on holiday and also get a reaction from you. Either way, it's immature and silly and will probably just get worse. At 43, she doesn't need to be pulling teenage crap like that.

GingerLily

Either ask her why she sent it and be upfront, or ignore her and move on if you're sure she's playing games.

There could be an innocent reason for the pic, you won't know unless you ask her.

Stealthfins

Atlantic Dawn wrote:

Send her a photo of you out with 3 random women and see what her reaction is.

I could if I wanted to lol where I work there's plenty of beautiful women,but I wouldn't get into the game.

My friend is a love addict and she suggested I walk away,because she used to be at that sht with men and it's only going to get worse....it's a game...

Shower a guy or girl with affection then when you get bored pull the carpet from underneath them....

They call it love bombing

Nesser

She's a textbook psychopath. Photo was deliberate and has a very definite purpose. Remark was deliberate.
Walk away while you still can.

tupenny

Definitely walk would be my advice. Trying to make you jealous; Immature, and as someone said above, I'd predict she will be all drama if you stick it out

Stealthfins

I'm a hard man to crack, I know guy's and women who married people like this.
I don't get jealous I just can't be with players I'm too good for that ****

Airyfairy12

She sounds like a nutjob, deliberately trying to make you jealous and acting bizarrely immature. Very odd behaviour. She really doesnt sound like shes worth your time and you need to higher your standards.

Yellow pack crisps

If it's newish and only dating I'd leave it be but just tell her you're not feeling it as opposed to that specific reason as she will more than likely cause drama and accuse you of being controlling and have jealousy issues.

Emme

Walk. There are plenty of other women you could be dating.

timmy880

Trying to make you jealous... Which at your stage of life (any stage) is just a headwreck. Move on from this one.

Stealthfins

Update

She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
Said it was a random photo lol
Nothing to it like

I said I'm just not going to be taken for a fool and I'm no naive idiot who gets jealous or needy,and I expect things to run smoothly.

She's heading back to Spain for the New Year celebrations.

I'm thinking of just let it be well do our own thing seperately until she comes back from Spain in the New Year and see where we can go from there.

I'm in no hurry

silverharp

Stealthfins wrote: »

Update

She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
Said it was a random photo lol
Nothing to it like

I said I'm just not going to be taken for a fool and I'm no naive idiot who gets jealous or needy,and I expect things to run smoothly.

She's heading back to Spain for the New Year celebrations.

I'm thinking of just let it be well do our own thing seperately until she comes back from Spain in the New Year and see where we can go from there.

I'm in no hurry

out of curiosity have you decided you dont want kids?

Lux23

43 going on 17. She doesn't sound worth it.

Big Bag of Chips

Stealthfins wrote: »

She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
Said it was a random photo lol
Nothing to it like

Why bother, though? If you continue a relationship with her she will continue to "do stupid things". It's attention seeking and by sticking around you are giving her the attention, and the green light to go ahead and continue doing stupid things.

You've been here before. She's 43. Have you time and space in your head for all that childish carry on? It's something you might put up with in your teens, but there comes a point where you move on to better. She sounds like my sister-in-law, also in her 40s. She doesn't "work at: being mental" on her Facebook page, by any chance?!

Stealthfins

silverharp wrote:

out of curiosity have you decided you dont want kids?

I have a 16 year old already.
I'm not interested in anymore kids.

Stealthfins

I don't know as I am not on facebook,but she has a fairly responsible job,so I don't think it would look good her describing her job as being mental.

She's a Dr in her area,highly intelligent academicly but sometimes when someone is very academicly intelligent, they're emotional intelligence is so so.

Big Bag of Chips

Is she worth all the arsing around? You're the only one who can decide, because you're the one who will be in a relationship with her. Does she even want an exclusive relationship? Do you?

Stealthfins

Big Bag of Chips wrote:

Is she worth all the arsing around? You're the only one who can decide, because you're the one who will be in a relationship with her. Does she even want an exclusive relationship? Do you?

Nobody's worth arsing around for.
I'm better off being single.
If I'm being honest,because I'm not putting myself through the ringer again.
Because I'm worth it ðŸ˜

Nesser

She sensed that she had gone too far and that there was a risk of you walking so she said what she needed to say to keep you hanging in.
The games will continue. They already have. you will be wondering now who she will be spending new years with. Till she gets bored with you or has destroyed you. You say that you are going to end it but I think it is already too late and you are trapped in her web.

...__...

Stealthfins wrote: »

Update

She got back and apologized,said it was very thoughtless and inappropriate,and sometimes she can do stupid things.
Said it was a random photo lol
Nothing to it like

I said I'm just not going to be taken for a fool and I'm no naive idiot who gets jealous or needy,and I expect things to run smoothly.

She's heading back to Spain for the New Year celebrations.

I'm thinking of just let it be well do our own thing seperately until she comes back from Spain in the New Year and see where we can go from there.

I'm in no hurry

Out of curiosity did you contact her again or did she eventually reply saying sorry?

I would be running from her as the not replying to a message would be just irritating.
Combine that with lavishing male attention I would walk and start the new year with a clear head.

Stealthfins

Nesser wrote:

She sensed that she had gone too far and that there was a risk of you walking so she said what she needed to say to keep you hanging in. The games will continue. They already have. you will be wondering now who she will be spending new years with. Till she gets bored with you or has destroyed you. You say that you are going to end it but I think it is already too late and you are trapped in her web.

I'm not trapped in her web lol
Exactly I know what you mean when you say I'll be wondering what's she's up-to on new year's....
Kinda odd she's off to Spain again on her own for new year's lol
After being there for the last Week,same place she goes quite regularly lol

I've seen it all before..

Nesser

Stealthfins wrote: »

I'm not trapped in her web lol
Exactly I know what you mean when you say I'll be wondering what's she's up-to on new year's....
Kinda odd she's off to Spain again on her own for new year's lol
After being there for the last Week,same place she goes quite regularly lol

I've seen it all before..

If I were you I'd give her an ultimatium. Tell her you want to spend New Years with her in Spain or its over. Letting it hang till next year to "see how it goes" would be a big mistake .

Stealthfins

...__... wrote:

Out of curiosity did you contact her again or did she eventually reply saying sorry?

She replied saying sorry,but I think only because she was losing her grip.

Her first sorry wasn't really great just a mere, what's your problem ? kinda thing.....
Until I said fine I'm out of here the whole sorry yada yada started....

Stealthfins

Nesser wrote:

If I were you I'd give her an ultimatium. Tell her you want to spend New Years with her in Spain or its over. Letting it hang till next year to "see how it goes" would be a big mistake .

I've no passport,have to renew it and have other commitments around then.

Anyhow I've loads of friends to rely on.

Nesser

Stealthfins wrote: »

I've no passport,have to renew it and have other commitments around then.

Anyhow I've loads of friends to rely on.

No need to tell her that though. Her response to your request will bring you closure and let you move on if she says no. If she says yes make your excuses and you can keep it on hold till next year.

GingerLily

Nesser wrote: »

No need to tell her that though. Her response to your request will bring you closure and let you move on if she says no. If she says yes make your excuses and you can keep it on hold till next year.

How can you be mad at someone for playing games and then pull this sh*t?

Don't do this OP, you won't win if you start playing games and you won't be happy either.

Walk away if that's what your gut is telling you.

...__...

Stealthfins wrote: »

She replied saying sorry,but I think only because she was losing her grip.

Her first sorry wasn't really great just a mere, what's your problem ? kinda thing.....
Until I said fine I'm out of here the whole sorry yada yada started....

yea a day later after letting your brain stew over it
to be honest Its already causing you enough stress to post about it here
Id chalk this down to experience and walk away.

Heading off again next week after only being there OK Im all for holidays but when does that leave any time for a relationship?

I think and its only personal now if two people start going out and one goes off on holidays soon after the relationship tend to fizzle out.

Emme

Stealthfins wrote: »

She's heading back to Spain for the New Year celebrations.

I wonder why :rolleyes:

Whatever you decide with this woman keep your options open.

Stealthfins

Emme wrote:

I wonder why

Emme wrote:

Whatever you decide with this woman keep your options open.

Exactly I think I think I smell a stink lol

I'm better off enjoying my Christmas,you see this happened me before and I came out the bad end of it.

Usually they set a trap to test you,then u react,next thing you're the jealous possessive one...

That's when the gas lighting start's...

Google Gas Lighting

davmol

You are only with her a wet day.You have no right to demand anything.All women in or not in a relationship play silly games.Just laugh it off and move on.SHes obviously into you if shes texting you from abroad.
Just enjoy yourself here,let her enjoy herself and then see how it goes in the new year.
MAybe when you are with her a long time and committed then ask to go away with her.
Don't listen to the advice on boards,if someone is with someone that sneezes everyones reaction is 'just break up with them'...its so easy for them as they have no time emotions invested in these relationships.

ManOfMystery

To be honest OP, it sounds like you already have the measure of this situation.

GingerLily

Stealthfins wrote: »

Exactly I think I think I smell a stink lol

I'm better off enjoying my Christmas,you see this happened me before and I came out the bad end of it.

Usually they set a trap to test you,then u react,next thing you're the jealous possessive one...

That's when the gas lighting start's...

Google Gas Lighting

If your gut is telling you she's "Gas Lighting" you then you need to call it a day, or do you like the drama?

Stealthfins

davmol wrote:

You are only with her a wet day.You have no right to demand anything.All women in or not in a relationship play silly games.Just laugh it off and move on.SHes obviously into you if shes texting you from abroad. Just enjoy yourself here,let her enjoy herself and then see how it goes in the new year. MAybe when you are with her a long time and committed then ask to go away with her. Don't listen to the advice on boards,if someone is with someone that sneezes everyones reaction is 'just break up with them'...its so easy for them as they have no time emotions invested in these relationships.

Not all women play game's.
I'll be honest a lot of people are into people but not really into them.

Yes were seeing each other a few weeks,but sending any one whether you're with them a week or a lifetime a picture of three very attractive fit guys and you're having the craic with them is a bad sign,my reply was "looks like you're enjoying yourself" it was read and no reply....
Even though she was updating her instagram through out the day lol
Yes she's entitled to do as she pleases,so am I entitled to put up with what I please...

I wouldn't do that to anyone I'd be seeing,its bad manners...and not very attractive.

Maybe if I was desperate and kicked I'd cling on to it,but I respect myself too much,and respect her enough to let her go and meet a guy who's a knuckle dragger and not very emotionaly intelligent....

Stealthfins

Thanks everyone for the good honest feedback, I walked away....
She got a bit personal but she'll be ok.