Are people who have affairs/cheat bad people?

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Flimpson wrote: »

I don't think anyone here thinks women are far less capable of being unfaithful than men.

He was the one bedding married women - therefore enabling their infidelity - yet their infidelity messed with his head and he had trust issues? Awesome!

He tried to convince himself they must have had a one last fling agreement with their other half but yeah he could have not done it. The guy went from one extreme to another, he was a virgin when he left college.

tomwaterford wrote: »

That's someone who had no interest in cheating....only looking for attention

What would have happened if your wan was kicking off and his lack came back???


Noone anywhere that drunk has that much lack of foresight/common sense

You really think so? God I wouldn't do that no matter how drunk I was, I'd imagine I'd never get away with it either if I did, I'd imagine myself chastised on the spot for it and rightly so. Women are more protective of the personal space so it's expected, you gotta respect their space. The victim is a friend of all of ours for about 5 years, so I was surprised he did that, and would check out other women, he'd even comment on other women, but touching another woman I thought he'd refrain from.

I was told about it by the victim of it while I was gone on holiday, she just text me randomly and told me the story, after that he was like saying "Oh you're still with yer man??" and "You're dressed up real well tonight"....like a lame attempt at flirting. She was very unhappy about what happened but didn't make a scene because she rarely goes out here and didn't want to spoil the night, the guy nearly got the head clubbed off him by the victims tank of a cousin who saw the whole thing but he was stopped very quickly before anything happened. The victims boyfriend is fair pissed off over it too, he wasn't there at the time but found out later.

It bugs me because I had this vision in my head where if you're taken, you keep your hands to yourself end of story, otherwise you're labelled some arsehole misogynist player that should be avoided. I'm annoyed for the victim of it, as well as this guys girlfriend who is oblivious that it happened.

Also I guess I should highlight I was into the perpetrators girlfriend a few years ago but she pretty much blew me off by friend zoning me after a drunken shift. Tried to woo her for about 6 or 7 weeks afterward and she wasn't really going for it, so I gave up, she funnily enough then took an interest in me and said she had feelings for me then when I moved on and found some happiness with someone else, which was fairly annoying to say the least. I stayed put because the new person wasn't kicking tyres and wasting time, and knew what she wanted from the onset.

She later went off with this guy, this "friend" of mine after just 3 days, when she came out to hang out with me on new years night a few years ago and now he's slapping some other girls posterior when his girlfriends back is turned.

Classy.

I think its always best to finish one relationship before starting another.Cheaters are weak and have little or no respect for there partner...i think there is always something broken in a relationship when one person cheats,,,however it causes unbelievable damage and pain to the person you once loved,,,,,so  i wuld always advise one has some have respect and end current relationship beforestarting another.......
so to summarise are they "Bad people".....not bad  necessarly but "Disrespectful,weak and self centered."....

XsApollo wrote: »

That's a serious generalisation there.
Anybody who cheats or has an affair is Disrespectful , weak and self centred.
And is horsesh*t to be honest.

The act is not respectful, it's not a show of strength or determination to honour a relationship, and they're clearly not thinking of anyone else when they cheat, so it's a fair description.

XsApollo wrote: »

Do you or the black and white brigade hold that logic to all things in life or just cheating.

Circumstances dictate how a persons character should be judged.

For example Is a person who cheats on there lying ,abusive ,destructive partner
Held in the same regard as say someone who cheats on there loving partner who say might have be ill or has other issues that are effecting them?
I think not, I'd say one could be justified in their actions and one not.

All I am saying is you can't expect people to think you're not any of the things the poster listed ere as follows: ''Anybody who cheats or has an affair is Disrespectful , weak and self centred''


It's hardly something done out of respect, or strength, or consideration for others, is it? There's no two ways about that, even if the cheater is not a bad person and has tried their best in a relationship and is being treated badly. Even if they're lonely and frustrated.

There are numerous reasons why some cheating is worse than others but it still doesn't change that they're not doing it out of respect, strength or thoughtfulness. Sometimes it's the complete opposite-and sometimes it's desperation and a need for human contact. But never the above qualities.

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