How come Tinder is so difficult?

Surreptitious · 06-12-2016 10:07PM

It's like you're a piece of meat on the thing. It sucks

Eric Cartman · 06-12-2016 10:07PM

mzungu wrote: »

I would wager they would most likely be quite young. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with going to the gym in order to look good, but the majority of people outside of teens and early twenty somethings would do it because it is exercise, as opposed to feeling obligated to do it.

ohh 100% , I think under 30 its mostly aesthetics or to improve at a sport you compete in , over that its a health / life preservation / doctor telling you to get fit thing.

meeeeh · 06-12-2016 10:08PM

BabyE wrote: »

Matthew 23:3

Sorry I do go for those who quote Bible either. Actually I don't go for anyone these days...

BabyE · 06-12-2016 10:09PM

Surreptitious wrote: »

It's like you're a piece of meat on the thing. It sucks

Meat has value. An average male and below does not.

mzungu · 06-12-2016 10:14PM

You made a big claim, namely that most men are in sexless relationships because their wives are no longer attracted to them. So, are there any stats from various studies/surveys that back this up, or was it just your personal opinion?

BabyE · 06-12-2016 10:15PM

Never has a truer word been spoken. Girls want it bad, that explains why lots of girls opt in for Tinder but they will wait and wait till the right prey presents itself. They ain't going to put out for no ordinary schmuck.

BTW when I say why is 'Tinder' so hard it doesn't just mean online dating. Nightclubs, bars, college campuses you name it are places equally hopeless for average guys. I never understand when people say 'well that's Tinder'. Tinder is just a reflection of outer reality, a manifestation of the things people dare not speak out in the open. Nobody would say openly that they are actively pursuing the 6 foot 3 Rugby jock and that they won't tolerate short guys. Simply put Tinder annuls all of these conventions.

mzungu · 06-12-2016 10:22PM

I do not think men are in sexless relationships because their wives do not find them sexy.

Can you provide any evidence to the contrary?

Surreptitious · 06-12-2016 10:23PM

BabyE wrote: »

Never has a truer word been spoken. Girls want it bad, that explains why lots of girls opt in for Tinder but they will wait and wait till the right prey presents itself. They ain't going to put out for no ordinary schmuck.

BTW when I say why is 'Tinder' so hard it doesn't just mean online dating. Nightclubs, bars, college campuses you name it are places equally hopeless for average guys. I never understand when people say 'well that's Tinder'. Tinder is just a reflection of outer reality, a manifestation of the things people dare not speak out in the open. Nobody would say openly that they are actively pursuing the 6 foot 3 Rugby jock and that they won't tolerate short guys. Simply put Tinder annuls all of these conventions.

What's wrong with short guys?

road_high · 06-12-2016 10:33PM

Find Tinder woeful in Ireland. Anytime I go to England I literally get a river of matches, here be lucky to get a few a day if on it. That's comparing Leinster area and sometimes Dublin to the English midlands, the area wouldn't be that much more densely populated really.
I think unless you're a 9 or a 10 forget it.

Salrub · 06-12-2016 10:37PM

So honest question for the women here? Would you go for a man 5ft 7" or do you prefer them taller?

Eric Cartman · 06-12-2016 10:39PM

I think it depends on what attributes a woman considers important. If you get with a woman who's into fashion, makeup, the gym, trends (all that other shallow crap) … chances are when you got together you were somewhat like that too, unless you're going to keep up with these trends and looking fashionable, of course she is going to stray, Similarly somebody being ambitious and career building and working hard for success slowing down a lot and settling in their place is bound to lose attraction if thats what your partner admired about you .

I think lads need to firstly, stop pretending they're into things just to get women and secondly , don't just give up on your hobbies / interests etc… chances are they played a large part in what a partner liked about you.

To avoid a partner straying , I think you need to be true to yourself and find somebody based on the real, true you, genuine shared interests , discussion topics , ambition levels and lifestyle desires will help keep a relationship strong.

Surreptitious · 06-12-2016 10:40PM

Salrub wrote: »

So honest question for the women here? Would you go for a man 5ft 7" or do you prefer them taller?

I like all heights and don't mind anyone smaller than me, same height or taller. If they are decent it doesn't matter.

Man Vs ManUre · 06-12-2016 10:41PM

I have a question, am not a big fan of social media and any of this movement in last 5 years where people displaying their lives on the internet. Ok i have a hotmail email since 2001 and use the net for shopping and betting, but no way would i ever sign up to facebook or any dating site, or even linked in although i am a qualified office professional working in dublin. At the same time i am single so am probably missing out on some action. Do i have to be on facebook to use tinder??

BabyE · 06-12-2016 10:43PM

Also btw we haven't even touched on sex and stuff yet, so if you get past the first hurdle(she swipes, she takes an interest in you at the bar), you get talking and you click(i.e attracted to each other up close) you take her home, and then you go to have sex with her, how can I say this politely, size matters and girls standards of sex has sky rocketed. They know if you suck, there is a line of potential suits ready and waiting.

Eric Cartman · 06-12-2016 10:45PM

BabyE wrote: »

Also btw we haven't even touched on sex and stuff yet, so if you get past the first hurdle(she swipes, she takes an interest in you at the bar), you get talking and you click(i.e attracted to each other up close) you take her home, and then you go to have sex with her, how can I say this politely, size matters and girls standards of sex has sky rocketed. They know if you suck, there is a line of potential suits ready and waiting.

mate, how could you even possibly know that. the way you keep talking its like you haven't got a tinder match to even meet with you in real life, ever. I get plenty of repeat business and know a lot of lads who do , none of us are Ron Jeremy or Christian Grey.

Salrub · 06-12-2016 10:45PM

Surreptitious wrote: »

I like all heights and don't mind anyone smaller than me, same height or taller. If they are decent it doesn't matter.

Reason I ask is I'm that height and whenever I'm out I feel like women don't like a "small" man and they always find the taller men more of catch

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 06-12-2016 10:47PM

Salrub wrote: »

Reason I ask is I'm that height and whenever I'm out I feel like women don't like a "small" man and they always find the taller men more of catch

To be honest, as long as he's taller than me I wouldn't mind. That said the shortest I've been with was about 5'9

Surreptitious · 06-12-2016 10:47PM

Salrub wrote: »

Reason I ask is I'm that height and whenever I'm out I feel like women don't like a "small" man and they always find the taller men more of catch

It's only in your head. I'm only 5ft 4 so you'd still be taller than me anyway, as an example. Not sure how other women who are taller might feel but I wouldn't be worried about it.

Eric Cartman · 06-12-2016 10:50PM

Salrub wrote: »

Reason I ask is I'm that height and whenever I'm out I feel like women don't like a "small" man and they always find the taller men more of catch

as evidenced here, there are women who do not mind, but honestly there are an awful lot of women who do care, not necessarily in a "6ft + or nothing" capacity, but in a nightclub / bar environment , as a lad I honestly wouldn't bother my arse even trying to chat up a woman taller than me.

The Talking Bread · 06-12-2016 10:54PM

BabyE wrote: »

Also btw we haven't even touched on sex and stuff yet, so if you get past the first hurdle(she swipes, she takes an interest in you at the bar), you get talking and you click(i.e attracted to each other up close) you take her home, and then you go to have sex with her, how can I say this politely, size matters and girls standards of sex has sky rocketed. They know if you suck, there is a line of potential suits ready and waiting.

For someone that claims he can't pull, you seem to think you know everything about the mindset of a woman.
I think if you continue with the attitude you have towards women, the generic labelling of women. the self degradation and woe is me and the focus on experiments and theories of how a woman's mind works, you have a very small chance of finding someone.
Again, its just advice. I think you need to head it. I would give the exact same advice to a friend. It seems harsh but you are coing across as if you have little respect for women either here.

have you been in (m)any meaningful relationships? Did you feel these women had the same lack of interest in you.

Kal El · 06-12-2016 11:02PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

I think it depends on what attributes a woman considers important. If you get with a woman who's into fashion, makeup, the gym, trends (all that other shallow crap) … chances are when you got together you were somewhat like that too, unless you're going to keep up with these trends and looking fashionable, of course she is going to stray, Similarly somebody being ambitious and career building and working hard for success slowing down a lot and settling in their place is bound to lose attraction if thats what your partner admired about you .

I think lads need to firstly, stop pretending they're into things just to get women and secondly , don't just give up on your hobbies / interests etc… chances are they played a large part in what a partner liked about you.

To avoid a partner straying , I think you need to be true to yourself and find somebody based on the real, true you, genuine shared interests , discussion topics , ambition levels and lifestyle desires will help keep a relationship strong.

Thats not true buddy.

eviltwin · 06-12-2016 11:05PM

Salrub wrote: »

So honest question for the women here? Would you go for a man 5ft 7" or do you prefer them taller?

Don't care tbh. My husband would be around that height. Never been an issue for me, never had any negative comments about it.

Eric Cartman · 06-12-2016 11:05PM

Kal El wrote: »

Thats not true buddy.

ok, may be a bit on the extreme , but a lad dropping interests / a lifestyle you once shared may very well lead a woman to be less interested.

06-12-2016 11:08PM

Anyone else prefer tinder didn't exist? Like they would have no problem not having access to lots of sex and validation provided nobody else did? The painful thing isn't that lots of girls aren't lying at my feet- it's that they *are* lying at the feet of other lads.. the same kind of guys the whole time,, with the same physical attributes.. basically confirming to you that yes, you are not good enough. When you boil it all down (and people can belittle me for being a bitch) but is it not human nature to feel unhappy and dislike yourself if even after taking steps like getting into great shape, getting educated, dress well etc. you still play second fiddle to most other lads, and you literally never can be first fiddle- you can never be that whole package that a girl is smitten over and secretly imagines marrying, is outright proud to show her girlfriends etc.. - instead it is up to you to pretend you don't feel numb and try to woo her by feigning confidence half-heartedly, watch as the girls always cling to the taller/better looking men regardless of personality and then expect a barrage of bellitlement from people when you are honest how you feel (man up, grow a set, deal with it, "people deserve to have standards"....) The distribution of lads getting girls was never perfectly spread out obviously but I bet in the past it wasn't as brutally uneven and at least in the old days it wasn't visible for all to see and have confirmed to them as clearly .. I'd rather be average height and good looking with no confidence (haha) than short, average/below average appearance and brilliant confidence

Kal El · 06-12-2016 11:08PM

BabyE wrote: »

Also btw we haven't even touched on sex and stuff yet, so if you get past the first hurdle(she swipes, she takes an interest in you at the bar), you get talking and you click(i.e attracted to each other up close) you take her home, and then you go to have sex with her, how can I say this politely, size matters and girls standards of sex has sky rocketed. They know if you suck, there is a line of potential suits ready and waiting.

This is quiet funny, I agree with every second post you say :pac:
This I dont agree with at all. One of the fist things I tell a girl is Im not good in bed, but I sure as hell enjoy it :pac: Im certain that if there was 100 guys in a room 80% would be better than me, now I am fun in bed but still good, not a chance.

Eric Cartman · 06-12-2016 11:11PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Anyone else prefer tinder didn't exist? Like they would have no problem not having access to lots of sex and validation provided nobody else did? The painful thing isn't that lots of girls aren't lying at my feet- it's that they *are* lying at the feet of other lads.. the same kind of guys the whole time,, with the same physical attributes.. basically confirming to you that yes, you are not good enough. When you boil it all down (and people can belittle me for being a bitch) but is it not human nature to feel unhappy and dislike yourself if even after taking steps like getting into great shape, getting educated, dress well etc. you still play second fiddle to most other lads, and you literally never can be first fiddle- you can never be that whole package that a girl is smitten over and secretly imagines marrying, is outright proud to show her girlfriends etc.. - instead it is up to you to pretend you don't feel numb and try to woo her by feigning confidence half-heartedly, watch as the girls always cling to the taller/better looking men regardless of personality and then expect a barrage of bellitlement from people when you are honest how you feel (man up, grow a set, deal with it, "people deserve to have standards"....) The distribution of lads getting girls was never perfectly spread out obviously but I bet in the past it wasn't as brutally uneven and at least I'm the old days it wasn't visible for all the see and have confirmed to them as clearly .. I'd rather by average height and good looking with no confidence (haha) than short, average/below average appearance and brilliant confidence

Jaysus thats depressing, mate, look after yourself and disregard what other lads have , you'll feel a lot better. Constantly comparing and pitting yourself against others isn't healthy.

grogi · 06-12-2016 11:12PM

BabyE wrote: »

Anyone have success off it, why do standards seem to be through the roof nowadays. You got to have the good facial looks, the immaculate hair, amazing body, height, charisma and all the trappings of high status and wealth and then maybe, just maybe you might snag yourself a ticket using the rebound card.
What is it? Are we seeing a breathing out of the average male? Is a men only as good as his worse attribute to a women? So you might have a ripped well maintained body but by god if you are below 6 foot or that face isn't as symmetrical as it ought to be then you may as well sign out of the dating game.

If you're asking ridiculous question like that, it is no wonder you can't succeed.

Kal El · 06-12-2016 11:14PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

mate, how could you even possibly know that. the way you keep talking its like you haven't got a tinder match to even meet with you in real life, ever. I get plenty of repeat business and know a lot of lads who do , none of us are Ron Jeremy or Christian Grey.

Agree with you here buddy, I constantly rate myself a 5/10 in the sack, no point setting high expectations. Sometimes I pull out a Richard Dunne performance but I usually save that for a russian :pac:

Salrub · 06-12-2016 11:16PM

eviltwin wrote: »

Don't care tbh. My husband would be around that height. Never been an issue for me, never had any negative comments about it.

I suppose some of it is in my own head aswell. It's nice to hear from few women posters here that height isn't a big issue but it's like I'm conscious of my height the whole time I'm out in a bar/ nightclub

Kal El · 06-12-2016 11:19PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

ok, may be a bit on the extreme , but a lad dropping interests / a lifestyle you once shared may very well lead a woman to be less interested.

Yeah maybe, I thought you were classing all makeup wearing gym buddies as strayers. But yeah if you met in the gym and stopped going she might wonder whats the change, but the same could be said if the woman stopped going.

How come Tinder is so difficult?

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