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Couples ignoring each other

1235

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  • #122
    sReq | uTeK
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,043 ✭✭✭sReq | uTeK


    pilly wrote: »
    I don't understand it at all either. But then I only look at my phone when it rings, if it's a text message it's not urgent and can be dealt with whenever.

    I can honestly say if I'm in company with a man and he starts checking his phone, I'm out of there!

    Best of luck dying alone


  • #123
    DivingDuck
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,396 ✭✭✭DivingDuck


    sReq | uTeK wrote: »
    Best of luck dying alone

    Jesus, is that not a bit harsh?

    If this thread has shown anything, it's that there are plenty of people on both sides of this argument. Someone for everyone.

    ...Just try to get someone on the same side, otherwise that's going to be one short, shouty relationship.


  • #124
    Olishi4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,469 ✭✭✭Olishi4


    HS3 wrote: »
    The thread isn't about being at home and texting. It's about being in public in the company of someone else.

    I thought the OP was trying to bring about a wider discussion on smartphone usage in social settings and the possibility of it taking away from real life interactions..apparently not from other interpretations here


  • #125
    andekwarhola
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,640 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    For me, the ideal relationship is where you have space.

    Sometimes you do stuff or talk together and sometimes you don't, but it's always within that comforting structure of closeness and familiarity.

    I value that dearly and couldn't bear somebody demanding my attention and insisting we do things together 100% the time unless they're my children which is to be expected.

    If people think that it's a staid or boring relationship if you're not hanging out of each other 24/7, that's their call but I'd wonder if most relationships of that needy intensity last long term.


  • #126
    GingerLily
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,766 ✭✭✭GingerLily


    HS3 wrote: »
    The thread isn't about being at home and texting. It's about being in public in the company of someone else.

    I like to have my private intimate conversations in private, when I go for brunch with my partner I rarely bring up anything intimate because I do now enjoy airing my business in a pokey cafe. It may appear like indifference to nosey busy bodies, but I couldn't give a ****.


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  • #127
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    sReq | uTeK wrote: »
    Best of luck dying alone

    Absolutely out of order.


  • #128
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,713 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    HS3 wrote: »
    The thread isn't about being at home and texting. It's about being in public in the company of someone else.

    Why does eating in public mean I have to behave differently at a meal*?

    Eating out is a non-event nowadays people do it nearly every day in some instances. We aren't taking about eating in a 5 star hotel resturant on your wedding anniversary we are talking about normal breakfasts or dinners out which in reality are no different to at home where I would usually eat in front of the tv, have the laptop or newspaper on the table while eating or be using the phone.

    *Obviously you behave differently in public to some extent but we aren't talking about not licking the plate or scratching yourself here.


  • #129
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Madelyn Gray Yak wrote: »
    Why does eating in public mean I have to behave differently at a meal*?

    Eating out is a non-event nowadays people do it nearly every day in some instances. We aren't taking about eating in a 5 star hotel resturant on your wedding anniversary we are talking about normal breakfasts or dinners out which in reality are no different to at home where I would usually eat in front of the tv, have the laptop or newspaper on the table while eating or be using the phone.

    *Obviously you behave differently in public to some extent but we aren't talking about not licking the plate or scratching yourself here.


    Maybe therein lies the difference between the 2 opposites on this thread. I wouldn't do any of the above whilst having dinner. Probably just from a different era.


  • #130
    jimgoose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,201 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    OP, do you think couples spend all their time at home gazing into each others eyes and chatting incessantly? No, people get comfortable with each other and can be together like that without the necessity to be reaffirming each other constantly.


  • #131
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 24,713 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    pilly wrote: »
    Maybe therein lies the difference between the 2 opposites on this thread. I wouldn't do any of the above whilst having dinner. Probably just from a different era.

    Well you and I may be from a different era (I'm in my 30's) but my dad has always read the paper while eating particularly while eating breakfast and I also remember my grandfather reading the paper while eating on many occasions and he was in his mid 80's when he died a few years ago. Our breakfast table in my home house would be 3 or 4 of us all reading different parts of the paper at times, its can be hard to fit the food :pac:

    The paper then is no different to the phone or the laptop now (though I also read the paper too at times). Might sound strange but I enjoy eating more if I'm watching tv or reading while doing it.


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  • #132
    HS3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭HS3


    GingerLily wrote: »
    I like to have my private intimate conversations in private, when I go for brunch with my partner I rarely bring up anything intimate because I do now enjoy airing my business in a pokey cafe. It may appear like indifference to nosey busy bodies, but I couldn't give a ****.

    Where did I say you must talk about private intimate things things in public? In fact, where did I say you, in particular, had to do anything?


  • #133
    Widdershins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    People didn't get so engrossed in their newspaper that they walked out in front of traffic because they were too intent on the paper to look where they were going. I doubt you'd ever walk into a restaurant and see an opened newspaper at every table. I completel 'get' comfortable silences but surely nobody can deny some people can be ignorant when they have their phone out.


  • #134
    HS3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭HS3


    Olishi4 wrote: »
    I thought the OP was trying to bring about a wider discussion on smartphone usage in social settings and the possibility of it taking away from real life interactions..apparently not from other interpretations here

    The opening post specifically relates to situations where couples are out and have their attention focused on their phones.


  • #135
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 13,549 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Call me old fashioned (well, I AM 41 so probably ancient to most Boardsies:o) but I consider taking out your smartphone and perusing it whilst having a meal in company is the height of rudeness. I mean, isn't it possible not to be glued to your phone for 20 minutes?


  • #136
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Context is everything and we don't know it here.

    If it was a first date and they ignored each other it'd be one thing, but they were apparently at ease with each other so that's not likely.

    I can go a long time without saying much but still enjoying being close to someone. I can read for hours beside the chap while he watches TV, and not a world would pass between us. I'd still be really glad to be beside him though. I love a bit of quiet time.

    If you deliberately set up a meeting to discuss something with someone and they don't look up from their phone, that would be annoying.

    It all depends.


  • #137
    Olishi4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,469 ✭✭✭Olishi4


    HS3 wrote: »
    The opening post specifically relates to situations where couples are out and have their attention focused on their phones.

    I know but OP was basically saying that two people were out socializing but glued to their phone and didn't say a single word or even acknowledge the waitress or say to each other "oh this looks good".

    It seemed to me that op just made an observation and wondered if anyone else noticed others completely engrossed in their phones while out together in social settings. I am taking the op at face value and not putting any other context around it so the op was basically questioning if smart phone usage was taking away from real life interactions. That's what I took from the op anyway.

    I was agreeing with you here...
    HS3 wrote: »
    The thread isn't about being at home and texting. It's about being in public in the company of someone else.


  • #138
    Yourself isit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,257 ✭✭✭Yourself isit


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Call me old fashioned (well, I AM 41 so probably ancient to most Boardsies:o) but I consider taking out your smartphone and perusing it whilst having a meal in company is the height of rudeness. I mean, isn't it possible not to be glued to your phone for 20 minutes?

    Oh ffs. Comfortable long term couple. No more offensive than the two of them not talking and reading a book, a magazine, whatever, while having coffee.


  • #139
    beks101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Call me old fashioned (well, I AM 41 so probably ancient to most Boardsies:o) but I consider taking out your smartphone and perusing it whilst having a meal in company is the height of rudeness. I mean, isn't it possible not to be glued to your phone for 20 minutes?

    Jesus, 9 pages before the blindingly obvious, what a wholly depressing thread.

    Yes it is rude to disengage from your company abruptly without excusing yourself in order to check your facebook or send an innocuous whatsapp or do something else entirely non-urgent when you've got a human being sitting across from you on their own time. It baffles me that this has become normal and people will fight to the death to defend it. It's like defending someone grunting and chewing with their mouth open while eating or someone using their hands instead of their cutlery to shovel food into their mouths. Basic etiquette, like.

    And yet you'll see it all day every day at social events, dinners, dates, work nights out, parties, hens, table quizzes, you name it, anywhere that people gather in a social setting will invariably include a handful and sometimes an entire table-full of people who will disconnect at random and leave their company hanging for as long as they bloody want to feed their social media addiction. Just to make sure there's nothing more interesting happening on instagram.

    Work emails, family emergencies, someone looking for directions etc, grand. But is it ever any of these things, when a couple is sitting across from each other and spend the entire duration of their meal on their iphones? Come on now.

    As for the silent couples, fair enough, wouldn't be my style but each to their own. It becomes annoying though when their table is right next to yours, the silence is deafening and they're very obviously eavesdropping on your conversation because they can't be arsed to say a word to each other.


  • #140
    Yourself isit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,257 ✭✭✭Yourself isit


    beks101 wrote: »
    Jesus, 9 pages before the blindingly obvious, what a wholly depressing thread.

    Yes it is rude to disengage from your company abruptly without excusing yourself in order to check your facebook or send an innocuous whatsapp or do something else entirely non-urgent when you've got a human being sitting across from you on their own time. It baffles me that this has become normal and people will fight to the death to defend it. It's like defending someone grunting and chewing with their mouth open while eating or someone using their hands instead of their cutlery to shovel food into their mouths. Basic etiquette, like.

    And yet you'll see it all day every day at social events, dinners, dates, work nights out, parties, hens, table quizzes, you name it, anywhere that people gather in a social setting will invariably include a handful and sometimes an entire table-full of people who will disconnect at random and leave their company hanging for as long as they bloody want to feed their social media addiction. Just to make sure there's nothing more interesting happening on instagram.

    Work emails, family emergencies, someone looking for directions etc, grand. But is it ever any of these things, when a couple is sitting across from each other and spend the entire duration of their meal on their iphones? Come on now.

    As for the silent couples, fair enough, wouldn't be my style but each to their own. It becomes annoying though when their table is right next to yours, the silence is deafening and they're very obviously eavesdropping on your conversation because they can't be arsed to say a word to each other.

    Or they're not eaves dropping and are in fact reading something.


  • #141
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    beks101 wrote: »
    As for the silent couples, fair enough, wouldn't be my style but each to their own. It becomes annoying though when their table is right next to yours, the silence is deafening and they're very obviously eavesdropping on your conversation because they can't be arsed to say a word to each other.

    No disrespect intended, but it might set your mind at ease. If they've their phones in their hands they've the whole internet at their disposal and most likely much more interesting things to keep them engaged instead of listening to the couple at the next table desperately trying to fill the silences. :pac:


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  • #142
    Yourself isit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,257 ✭✭✭Yourself isit


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    No disrespect intended, but it might set your mind at ease. If they've their phones in their hands they've the whole internet at their disposal and most likely much more interesting things to keep them engaged instead of listening to the couple at the next table desperately trying to fill the silences. :pac:

    My thoughts exactly. I'm often at a cafe on my own reading and if the people beside me are having the most interesting conversation (to them) about that time that guy cheated on that girl, or whatever, I really don't care, don't listen and wish they would go away.


  • #143
    beks101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    No disrespect intended, but it might set your mind at ease. If they've their phones in their hands they've the whole internet at their disposal and most likely much more interesting things to keep them engaged instead of listening to the couple at the next table desperately trying to fill the silences. :pac:

    Your filling silences is my enjoying each other's company.


  • #144
    cookiexx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 335 ✭✭cookiexx


    I can understand comfortable silences and I can get lapses in conversation where there's a mutual understanding that you're both just going to do your own thing for a bit, be it read the paper or browse your phone or whatever.

    But for an entire meal? Like let's say an hour plus of radio silence without even a bit of acknowledgement of each other or the food in front of ye? Seems a bit bizarre to me.


  • #145
    HS3
    Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭HS3


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    No disrespect intended, but it might set your mind at ease. If they've their phones in their hands they've the whole internet at their disposal and most likely much more interesting things to keep them engaged instead of listening to the couple at the next table desperately trying to fill the silences. :pac:

    If you find yourself across the table from some one desperately trying to fill the silences, you're in the wrong company.


  • #146
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    JupiterKid wrote: »
    Call me old fashioned (well, I AM 41 so probably ancient to most Boardsies:o) but I consider taking out your smartphone and perusing it whilst having a meal in company is the height of rudeness. I mean, isn't it possible not to be glued to your phone for 20 minutes?

    Have heard of groups of people making a tower out of their smartphones when at the pub and first one to reach for theirs (unless it's a call) buys a round.


  • #147
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


  • #148
    Yourself isit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,257 ✭✭✭Yourself isit


    Omackeral wrote: »
    Have heard of groups of people making a tower out of their smartphones when at the pub and first one to reach for theirs (unless it's a call) buys a round.

    I think there's a problem with comprehension here. The op is talking about long term couples and in a particular setting. Morning. A cafe. It's not a general discussion about phone etiquette.


  • #149
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Yourself isit wrote: »
    I think there's a problem with comprehension here. The op is talking about long term couples and in a particular setting. Morning. A cafe. It's not a general discussion about phone etiquette.
    Omackeral wrote: »
    An issue that p*sses me right off is that when I'm with a group of friends and everyone is just glued to their phones, especially in a pub or restaurant. You're there to socialise surely and catch up?

    All this is a different kettle of fish though to two people doing it voluntarily. I wouldn't like to be in one of those couples myself but then again they could be happy campers so whatever works for them.



    No comprehension issue here. My very first post on the thread addresses that. Threads evolve. Often. Online.


  • #150
    eet fuk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 263 ✭✭eet fuk


    The world is changing. It's not always easy for some people to understand how the next generation behaves when they grew up in a different time.

    You just have to accept it and move on - or risk becoming a miserable ould shíte who misses the good old days.


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  • #151
    Yourself isit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,257 ✭✭✭Yourself isit


    Omackeral wrote: »
    No comprehension issue here. My very first post on the thread addresses that. Threads evolve. Often. Online.

    Not really. You might be having your own conversation with yourself but the thread title and OP is pretty unambiguous. This matters because people not talking in a cafe or having breakfast in the morning - something that was common before smartphones - is really not the same as ignoring your friends in a more social occasion.


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