If Donald Trump were Irish...

Muahahaha · 10-11-2016 03:29AM #1

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

StupidLikeAFox · 10-11-2016 03:32AM

He has just been elected president of the USA - he will be irish before next summer

brandnewaward · 10-11-2016 03:33AM

he'd be grabbing them by the gowls

JimmyTClarke · 10-11-2016 03:34AM

Muahahaha wrote: »

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

That to me is a very attractive system you're proposing.

Donald Trump · 10-11-2016 03:38AM

Is mise Donald

Dhéan Meiriceá mór arís!

I still can't believe how stupid the voters were. :pac:

JimmyTClarke · 10-11-2016 03:45AM

Donald Trump wrote: »

Is mise Donald

Dhéan Meiriceá mór arís!

I still can't believe how stupid the voters were. :pac:

Mr. President, just to let you know, our Taoiseach had been talking s**te about you behind your back. Now that you're elected, he's going to try to be friends. He's a bit of a two faced w**ker, you see. I hope you're not going to let him away with that?

Donald Trump · 10-11-2016 03:47AM

JimmyTClarke wrote: »

Mr. President, just to let you know, our Taoiseach had been talking s**te about you behind your back. Now that you're elected, he's going to try to be friends. He's a bit of a two faced w**ker, you see. I hope you're not going to let him away with that?

That old Edna lady? I'll grab her by the pussy! That'll learn her fairly lively

Do you need a job Jimmy? As long as you don't look Mexican. I need people like you!

lazybones32 · 10-11-2016 03:49AM

Yeah...building a 2,000 mile-long wall is really going to happen. And all within 4 years!

People are really annoying with their reaction to this election.

Donald Trump · 10-11-2016 03:50AM

lazybones32 wrote: »

Yeah...building a 2,000 mile-long wall is really going to happen. And all within 4 years!

People are really annoying with their reaction to this election.

Get Wicklow County Council on the job. Them council lads are divils to work. Be finished in no time

My name is URL · 10-11-2016 03:50AM

What do you mean 'if'?

You can be sure that either he will declare that he's Irish at some stage... or some hidden clan of Trumps will emerge from Ballyhaunis and apply for planning permission to build a drive-thru in his name.

maudgonner · 10-11-2016 03:53AM

My name is URL wrote: »

What do you mean 'if'?

You can be sure that either he will declare that he's Irish at some stage... or some hidden clan of Trumps will emerge from Ballyhaunis and apply for planning permission to build a drive-thru in his name.

Of all the towns to pick

You heard it here first folks, Trump has Mayo-Muslim relatives!

JimmyTClarke · 10-11-2016 03:56AM

Donald Trump wrote: »

That old Edna lady? I'll grab her by the pussy! That'll learn her fairly lively

Do you need a job Jimmy? As long as you don't look Mexican. I need people like you!

I'd love a job, Sir. I'm fairly handy with a trowel and I heard you might need a wall built? I can call over and have a look, do you up a rough plan on the inside of a Superkings box and see if it's to your satisfaction?

Cortina_MK_IV · 10-11-2016 04:13AM

Donald Trump wrote: »

That old Edna lady? I'll grab her by the pussy! That'll learn her fairly lively

Do you need a job Jimmy? As long as you don't look Mexican. I need people like you!

Edna lady......? Where's yer trewsers Donald?

Ken. · 10-11-2016 04:14AM

Cortina_MK_IV wrote: »

Edna lady......? Where's yer trewsers Donald?

Banned for posting porn:D

corkonion · 10-11-2016 04:16AM

ADVERTISEMENT
Builders wanted, to build long wall, $70 per hour.
White workers to work from Northern side of the wall. All others to work from southern side.
Payment requests to be sent to Mexican president. Immediate start.

Edups · 10-11-2016 04:41AM

JimmyTClarke wrote: »

I'd love a job, Sir. I'm fairly handy with a trowel and I heard you might need a wall built? I can call over and have a look, do you up a rough plan on the inside of a Superkings box and see if it's to your satisfaction?

I'm coughing up blood in disgust

zetalambda · 10-11-2016 04:41AM

Muahahaha wrote: »

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

Great post bro...so why are you so obsessed with Cork?

Edups · 10-11-2016 06:25AM

zetalambda wrote: »

Great post bro...so why are you so obsessed with Cork?

It's the Mexico of Ireland

zetalambda · 10-11-2016 09:33AM

Edups wrote: »

It's the Mexico of Ireland

Exactly and that's why you have people from all corners of Ireland going there in search of a job and a better life. In fact, you'll probably be down there looking for a job in a few years after your balls have dropped!

Sam Kade · 10-11-2016 09:38AM

He would live in cork and blast around the boundary of Dublin city and tow it over to the UK where it belongs

The flying mouse · 10-11-2016 09:44AM

He would build a golf club in Sligo .

The_Kew_Tour · 10-11-2016 10:03AM

Hopefully he would not be obsessed with Cork like the OP is

The_Kew_Tour · 10-11-2016 10:04AM

Edups wrote: »

It's the Mexico of Ireland

I would rather be Mexican then American, thans for the compliment:D

c montgomery · 10-11-2016 10:05AM

Donald O'Trump to be sure to be sure

whisky_galore · 10-11-2016 10:16AM

German-Scottish origin, thankfully he won't be doing that cloying "tracing your Irish ancestors" schtick like Obama/Regan/Nixon/Kennedy.

Mantis Toboggan · 10-11-2016 10:21AM

Michael O Leary is probably the closest thing we have to Donald Trump, if he ran I'd expect him to be the next president of Ireland so it's not beyond the bounds of possibility.

valoren · 10-11-2016 10:49AM

Vote Yes for Jobs.

biko · 10-11-2016 12:39PM

Make Ireland great again

My name is URL · 10-11-2016 06:58PM

My name is URL wrote: »

What do you mean 'if'?

You can be sure that either he will declare that he's Irish at some stage... or some hidden clan of Trumps will emerge from Ballyhaunis and apply for planning permission to build a drive-thru in his name.

And so begins the shameless boot-licking

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/north-america/us-election-2016/will-there-be-a-pence-plaza-us-vicepresident-elect-could-be-visiting-ireland-35202875.html

VICE-President elect Mike Pence will be officially invited to the Co Sligo town his grandfather hails from.

And the Chamber of Commerce in Tubbercurry believes Donald Trump’s running mate could himself end up in the top job in as little as four years’ time.
“Local people are delighted,” said chamber spokesman Roger McCarrick.

“We will be writing to him officially to invite him to the home of his ancestors. Regardless of policies he is still an ex-Tubbercurry man as far as we are concerned.

Muahahaha · 10-11-2016 07:02PM

My name is URL wrote: »

And so begins the shameless boot-licking

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/north-america/us-election-2016/will-there-be-a-pence-plaza-us-vicepresident-elect-could-be-visiting-ireland-35202875.html

Michelle Mulherrin too

https://twitter.com/MulherinFG/status/796294561073131520

My name is URL · 10-11-2016 07:04PM

^^^ not surprised by that really. Absolute fcuking wagon of a yoke

If Donald Trump were Irish...

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