If Donald Trump were Irish...

Muahahaha

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

StupidLikeAFox

He has just been elected president of the USA - he will be irish before next summer

brandnewaward

he'd be grabbing them by the gowls

JimmyTClarke

Muahahaha wrote: »

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

That to me is a very attractive system you're proposing.

Donald Trump

Is mise Donald

Dhéan Meiriceá mór arís!

I still can't believe how stupid the voters were. :pac:

JimmyTClarke

Donald Trump wrote: »

Is mise Donald

Dhéan Meiriceá mór arís!

I still can't believe how stupid the voters were. :pac:

Mr. President, just to let you know, our Taoiseach had been talking s**te about you behind your back. Now that you're elected, he's going to try to be friends. He's a bit of a two faced w**ker, you see. I hope you're not going to let him away with that?

Donald Trump

JimmyTClarke wrote: »

Mr. President, just to let you know, our Taoiseach had been talking s**te about you behind your back. Now that you're elected, he's going to try to be friends. He's a bit of a two faced w**ker, you see. I hope you're not going to let him away with that?

That old Edna lady? I'll grab her by the pussy! That'll learn her fairly lively

Do you need a job Jimmy? As long as you don't look Mexican. I need people like you!

lazybones32

Yeah...building a 2,000 mile-long wall is really going to happen. And all within 4 years!


People are really annoying with their reaction to this election.

Donald Trump

lazybones32 wrote: »

Yeah...building a 2,000 mile-long wall is really going to happen. And all within 4 years!


People are really annoying with their reaction to this election.

Get Wicklow County Council on the job. Them council lads are divils to work. Be finished in no time

My name is URL

What do you mean 'if'?

You can be sure that either he will declare that he's Irish at some stage... or some hidden clan of Trumps will emerge from Ballyhaunis and apply for planning permission to build a drive-thru in his name.

maudgonner

My name is URL wrote: »

What do you mean 'if'?

You can be sure that either he will declare that he's Irish at some stage... or some hidden clan of Trumps will emerge from Ballyhaunis and apply for planning permission to build a drive-thru in his name.

Of all the towns to pick

You heard it here first folks, Trump has Mayo-Muslim relatives!

JimmyTClarke

Donald Trump wrote: »

That old Edna lady? I'll grab her by the pussy! That'll learn her fairly lively

Do you need a job Jimmy? As long as you don't look Mexican. I need people like you!

I'd love a job, Sir. I'm fairly handy with a trowel and I heard you might need a wall built? I can call over and have a look, do you up a rough plan on the inside of a Superkings box and see if it's to your satisfaction?

Cortina_MK_IV

Donald Trump wrote: »

That old Edna lady? I'll grab her by the pussy! That'll learn her fairly lively

Do you need a job Jimmy? As long as you don't look Mexican. I need people like you!

Edna lady......? Where's yer trewsers Donald?

Ken.

Cortina_MK_IV wrote: »

Edna lady......? Where's yer trewsers Donald?

Banned for posting porn:D

corkonion

ADVERTISEMENT
Builders wanted, to build long wall, $70 per hour.
White workers to work from Northern side of the wall. All others to work from southern side.
Payment requests to be sent to Mexican president. Immediate start.

Edups

JimmyTClarke wrote: »

I'd love a job, Sir. I'm fairly handy with a trowel and I heard you might need a wall built? I can call over and have a look, do you up a rough plan on the inside of a Superkings box and see if it's to your satisfaction?

I'm coughing up blood in disgust

zetalambda

Muahahaha wrote: »

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

Great post bro...so why are you so obsessed with Cork?

Edups

zetalambda wrote: »

Great post bro...so why are you so obsessed with Cork?

It's the Mexico of Ireland

zetalambda

Edups wrote: »

It's the Mexico of Ireland

Exactly and that's why you have people from all corners of Ireland going there in search of a job and a better life. In fact, you'll probably be down there looking for a job in a few years after your balls have dropped!

Sam Kade

He would live in cork and blast around the boundary of Dublin city and tow it over to the UK where it belongs

The flying mouse

He would build a golf club in Sligo .

The_Kew_Tour

Hopefully he would not be obsessed with Cork like the OP is

The_Kew_Tour

Edups wrote: »

It's the Mexico of Ireland

I would rather be Mexican then American, thans for the compliment:D

c montgomery

Donald O'Trump to be sure to be sure

whisky_galore

German-Scottish origin, thankfully he won't be doing that cloying "tracing your Irish ancestors" schtick like Obama/Regan/Nixon/Kennedy.

Mantis Toboggan

Michael O Leary is probably the closest thing we have to Donald Trump, if he ran I'd expect him to be the next president of Ireland so it's not beyond the bounds of possibility.

valoren

Vote Yes for Jobs.

biko

Make Ireland great again

My name is URL

My name is URL wrote: »

What do you mean 'if'?

You can be sure that either he will declare that he's Irish at some stage... or some hidden clan of Trumps will emerge from Ballyhaunis and apply for planning permission to build a drive-thru in his name.

And so begins the shameless boot-licking

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/north-america/us-election-2016/will-there-be-a-pence-plaza-us-vicepresident-elect-could-be-visiting-ireland-35202875.html

VICE-President elect Mike Pence will be officially invited to the Co Sligo town his grandfather hails from.

And the Chamber of Commerce in Tubbercurry believes Donald Trump’s running mate could himself end up in the top job in as little as four years’ time.
“Local people are delighted,” said chamber spokesman Roger McCarrick.

“We will be writing to him officially to invite him to the home of his ancestors. Regardless of policies he is still an ex-Tubbercurry man as far as we are concerned.

Muahahaha

My name is URL wrote: »

And so begins the shameless boot-licking

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/north-america/us-election-2016/will-there-be-a-pence-plaza-us-vicepresident-elect-could-be-visiting-ireland-35202875.html

Michelle Mulherrin too

https://twitter.com/MulherinFG/status/796294561073131520

My name is URL

^^^ not surprised by that really. Absolute fcuking wagon of a yoke

HellSquirrel

Ugh, do we have to not only admit but advertise that at some point some of their DNA came from an inhabitant of this island? I know it's tradition and all, but srsly.

Ulysses Gaze

Muahahaha wrote: »

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

harry Bailey esq

Muahahaha wrote: »

...what would he do?

1. Build a big wall along our southern border, aka Cork
2.Get all the people of Cork to pay for that fine Great Wall. And if they refuse to then impose 35% tarrifs on Mitchelstown cheese and Rachel Allen, plus her open secrets
3. Put Corkonians through X-rays to gain entry to the Rest of Ireland (ROI)

Stay unclassy AH, I wouldn't want it any other way

Why all the hate for cork on after hours?Im a true blue dub,Gussy Bismark once described me as being 'as Dublin as Rashers Tierney eating a bowl of coddle' Corkonians are great craic,razor sharp wit,beautiful county and extremely sexy women.Whats not to like?
PS: Trump is president elect now,which automatically makes him Irish.Give it a year and he'll be in some kip of of a pub in the middle of nowhere grimacing in front of a pint of Guinness.

GreenFolder2

I'm pretty sure he'd be running for the DUP and denying he's Irish.
He'd fit right in up there! He's even orange.

joe_three_pack

a number of things i could see being on or off the table

1. no more sell outs to public sector unions

2. no more talk about granting ethnic status to particular groups

3. lower taxes for the squeezed middle

4. no indefinite right to dole

joe_three_pack

a number of things i could see being on or off the table

1. no more sell outs to public sector unions

2. no more talk about granting ethnic status to particular groups

3. lower taxes for the squeezed middle

4. no indefinite right to dole

Fleawuss

So let's think, a billionaire, no experience of public office, controversial, confrontational......dare I say it? No.

RayM

Alas, he would have been scuppered by our bankruptcy laws.

BabyE

In Ireland some wealthy charismatic(in an egotistical sort of way) business man would be viewed as a great alternative to the standard teacher politician, nobody would bring up experience, it's different for us though, governments in countries like Ireland appear to be facilitators more than anything nowadays.

GreenFolder2

It's a *very* different culture. Ireland (in common with our neighbours in England and France) is a nation of begrudgers and we don't like ostentatious displays of wealth.

Trump would have been taken down several pegs and laughed at.

If you got up on stage here and went on about how much money you had most people would need a bucket or would fall over laughing.

It would be: "would you look at yer man with his fecking helicopter.?" "who the feck does he think he is?"

Whereas a % of Americans worship money and wealth.

BabyE

Trump could only exist in America imo, Could you imagine Michael O Leary or Sean Quinn or whoever rich male characters there are in Ireland standing up talking about how he wants to help Wacker and Christie get their jobs back wearing a green baseball hat with whatever out "make ameica great again" equivalent of would be. America is more nuanced than Ireland(whatever that means) but it's a country where a billionaire can legitimately be perceived as being outside the elite and speak on behalf of the working man in industrial Pennsylvania.
Ireland's society and culture would never create a person like Trump

GreenFolder2

I actually think America is far less nuanced. It's a very simplistic and quite crude kind of politics that reduces it to a binary choice vs a complicated, very nuanced proportional representation system with multi parties that requires complicated consensus positions to be reached.

Literally it was like "look at me: I have a big pile of money. I am successful. I should be president"
Policies schmolicies .. Look at my big shiny tower with my name on the top. Vote for me! Vote for success. I'm so successful.
If you vote for me you can maybe feel successful too.
Look at my hair! It's real hair!
Crooked Hillary .. Crooked Hillary .. Emails Emails Emails... Locker her Up Emails Hillary Nasty ..
Of course I'll release my tax returns...

An episode of Peppa Pig would be more nuanced!


Say what you like about Irish politics, but in most recent elections there have been informed electors having complicated discussions about economics and fiscal spaces and all sorts of complicated issues around state ownership of assets, banking crisis, relations with the EU, gay marriage, abortion etc.

Can you imagine having the Marriage Referendum we had in the US?!?
I know we had one or two minor nasty incidents of nasty letters and so on, but for the most part that debate was phenomenally mature and sensibly conduced and people listened and engaged and discussed and voted.

When it comes to stability, informed electorates and engagement I think Ireland is in a completely different league to the US. It's a very, very different kind of politics, different structures, different mechanics of election, different style of media.

I know we have problems with local issues being over dominant and pure clientelism in constituency politics, but it's still a fairly sane and functional system.

BabyE

Also the Irish claiming US presidents is cringed as ****, it was cool with JFK because the Irish narrative was so different back to then, they were probably only becoming part of the status quo in America by then but now who gives a **** unless they happen to be first generation. Im conscious of the Irish diaspora, we are an island and thus we have a close lineage and some of our brothers and sisters had to flea in days gone by for a better life but come on Obama was a ****ing joke, he had Russian, English and other ancestry as well.

GreenFolder2

Meh, Ireland wields enormous soft power through stuff like that. For the sake of a few days of cringing, it is probably worth it.

As a nation, we network the feck out of stuff and it works.

Why do you think there are about 5 Irish bars ringing the European Commission ...

Our soccer fans even unleashed a charm offensive on the French and it has paid off in spades in terms of Ireland's reputation in France vs the post Brexit UK...