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Louise O Neill on rape culture.

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Comments

  • #602
    Widdershins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Potatoeman wrote: »
    Angry feminist with daddy issues, what are the odds.

    Wow. I've done nothing but support men against angry feminists. There was no anger or unfriendliness in any way in anything I wrote. And I have no ''daddy issues'', I am quite comfortable and at peace with my upbringing.


  • #603
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,849 ✭✭✭professore


    midnight city wrote: »
    Mansplaining is a charged word and much abused.

    I propose a female equivalent in the interests of fairness: nagsplaining.


  • #604
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,295 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    Potatoeman wrote: »
    Angry feminist with daddy issues, what are the odds.

    That is a bit harsh mate. Widdershins is ok. (For a woman)











    *Only kidding! :D


  • #605
    Potatoeman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,909 ✭✭✭Potatoeman


    Widdershins wrote: »
    Wow. I've done nothing but support men against angry feminists. There was no anger or unfriendliness in any way in anything I wrote. And I have no ''daddy issues'', I am quite comfortable and at peace with my upbringing.
    I won't 'gender' your problem, you're just an arsehole.

    Nothing personal, couldn't resist.


  • #606
    Widdershins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Potatoeman wrote: »
    Nothing personal, couldn't resist.

    Well, we're even, then!


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  • #607
    midnight city
    Closed Accounts Posts: 531 ✭✭✭midnight city


    Mortpourvelo wrote: »
    It's a bloody ridiculous word IMHO!!!

    I seen a new one recently called a Manel meaning an all male panel.


  • #608
    Ken.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    Mod- Potatoeman and Widdershins, Do not post in this thread again.


  • #609
    LLMMLL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,593 ✭✭✭LLMMLL


    There's been a lot of posts in this thread about men experiencing violence and having to move on and they don't play the victim and why don't we say we have a violence culture etc.

    I've been physically assaulted (as part of a robbery). It happened once. On an average night out there is zero suggestion I will be physically assaulted. If I went out and there was regularly a suggestion someone might beat my head in, this together with my actual assault would make me fearful. And it would make all the other men on this thread fearful too.

    Most women I know are suggested to sexual harassment. Some are so used to it they consider it normal to be groped and called "c**t" for not responding to a come on.

    It's completely different to men experiencing a violent physical assault once in their life.

    I'm not saying we have a rape culture but to equate the fear a lone woman might feel to the fear a lone man might feel is completely ridiculous.


  • #610
    Mortpourvelo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 393 ✭✭Mortpourvelo


    midnight city wrote: »
    I seen a new one recently called a Manel meaning an all male panel.

    You're having a laugh ?? That is truly pathetic!!!


  • #611
    Mortpourvelo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 393 ✭✭Mortpourvelo


    LLMMLL wrote: »
    There's been a lot of posts in this thread about men experiencing violence and having to move on and they don't play the victim and why don't we say we have a violence culture etc.

    I've been physically assaulted (as part of a robbery). It happened once. On an average night out there is zero suggestion I will be physically assaulted. If I went out and there was regularly a suggestion someone might beat my head in, this together with my actual assault would make me fearful. And it would make all the other men on this thread fearful too.

    Most women I know are suggested to sexual harassment. Some are so used to it they consider it normal to be groped and called "c**t" for not responding to a come on.

    It's completely different to men experiencing a violent physical assault once in their life.

    I'm not saying we have a rape culture but to equate the fear a lone woman might feel to the fear a lone man might feel is completely ridiculous.

    Rot. Utter and complete rot.


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  • #612
    Zulu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,967 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    LLMMLL wrote: »
    I'm not saying we have a rape culture but to equate the fear a lone woman might feel to the fear a lone man might feel is completely ridiculous.
    heh? :confused:


  • #613
    Walter H Price
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,839 ✭✭✭Walter H Price


    Mortpourvelo wrote: »
    Rot. Utter and complete rot.

    +1


  • #614
    py2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,845 ✭✭✭py2006


    LLMMLL wrote: »
    I'm not saying we have a rape culture but to equate the fear a lone woman might feel to the fear a lone man might feel is completely ridiculous.

    Oh please do explain...


  • #615
    FortySeven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,295 ✭✭✭FortySeven


    Mortpourvelo wrote: »
    Rot. Utter and complete rot.

    +2


  • #616
    Mortpourvelo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 393 ✭✭Mortpourvelo


    py2006 wrote: »
    Oh please do explain...

    Women are apparently fluffy little victims in waiting.

    Whereas all men wear suits like Ironman and are impervious to harm.

    As a woman, you have no idea how dumb I felt typing that - imagine believing it!!!!


  • #617
    Butters1979
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Butters1979


    LLMMLL wrote: »
    There's been a lot of posts in this thread about men experiencing violence and having to move on and they don't play the victim and why don't we say we have a violence culture etc.

    I've been physically assaulted (as part of a robbery). It happened once. On an average night out there is zero suggestion I will be physically assaulted. If I went out and there was regularly a suggestion someone might beat my head in, this together with my actual assault would make me fearful. And it would make all the other men on this thread fearful too.

    Most women I know are suggested to sexual harassment. Some are so used to it they consider it normal to be groped and called "c**t" for not responding to a come on.

    It's completely different to men experiencing a violent physical assault once in their life.

    I'm not saying we have a rape culture but to equate the fear a lone woman might feel to the fear a lone man might feel is completely ridiculous.

    Bullsh1t. If women were truly harassed to that level and felt at any moment they would be raped they wouldn't be in nightclubs dressed up to the nines knocking back drink like it's a free bar. They'd stay well clear of the violent and dangerous world of outside.
    Most women look forward too and enjoy (and quite rightly) a good night out. If they were in this much fear they would not.


  • #618
    pumpkin4life
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    Mortpourvelo wrote: »
    Rot. Utter and complete rot.

    Ah, the joys of third wave feminism.

    Make women think they're helpless fluffy bunny little victims who can do no wrong thanks to the evil patriarchy, and make men think they're evil, toxic and nasty because the great grandad did something 100 years ago that no one can remember.

    It must be so hard being Louise O Neill.


  • #619
    midnight city
    Closed Accounts Posts: 531 ✭✭✭midnight city


    Mortpourvelo wrote: »
    You're having a laugh ?? That is truly pathetic!!!

    One of Denis O'Brien's fine journalists used it recently.


  • #620
    Walter H Price
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,839 ✭✭✭Walter H Price


    Mortpourvelo wrote: »
    Women are apparently fluffy little victims in waiting.

    Whereas all men wear suits like Ironman and are impervious to harm.

    As a woman, you have no idea how dumb I felt typing that - imagine believing it!!!!

    i think this kind of thinking being promoted has a negative impact in two ways, it makes girls feel vulnerable and afraid giving them a victim mentality.

    But i think it also make some men , who maybe a bit weaker or whatever feeling very insecure and uncomfortable with the fact that the may be afraid to be on their own late at night. i remember a friend of mine talking to me about this a few years ago , I'm 6"2 a former rugby player and boxer with a massive Joe Leadly - esque beard , not your stereotypical victim type. I remember a mate saying to me that he was concerned he'd never be able to protect any girl that was with him if they got mugged or whatever because he was to afraid of getting in a fight. This was shortly after a similar situation involving my Girlfriend.

    I remember feeling really bad for him that he felt in 2015 that society still expected him to be the big tough man protecting his damsel is distress can only imagine what it does to lads confidence who maybe have ended up in that situation and hadn't been able to scrap it out for whatever reason. But i was also thinking I've know this guy since we were 5 or 6 and he's never been a scrapper i could only imagine the state he could end up in if he tried to step in or that.


  • #621
    Mortpourvelo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 393 ✭✭Mortpourvelo


    Walter H Price wrote: »
    i think this kind of thinking being promoted has a negative impact in two ways, it makes girls feel vulnerable and afraid giving them a victim mentality.

    But i think it also make some men , who maybe a bit weaker or whatever feeling very insecure and uncomfortable with the fact that the may be afraid to be on their own late at night. i remember a friend of mine talking to me about this a few years ago , I'm 6"2 a former rugby player and boxer with a massive Joe Leadly - esque beard , not your stereotypical victim type. I remember a mate saying to me that he was concerned he'd never be able to protect any girl that was with him if they got mugged or whatever because he was to afraid of getting in a fight. This was shortly after a similar situation involving my Girlfriend.

    I remember feeling really bad for him that he felt in 2015 that society still expected him to be the big tough man protecting his damsel is distress can only imagine what it does to lads confidence who maybe have ended up in that situation and hadn't been able to scrap it out for whatever reason. But i was also thinking I've know this guy since we were 5 or 6 and he's never been a scrapper i could only imagine the state he could end up in if he tried to step in or that.

    I think you're missing my point, I AGREE that both male and female can be vulnerable and victims of physical and sexual assault equally.

    It was another poster who said basically that a woman alone at night isn't the same as a man alone at night.

    I agree with your post.


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  • #622
    Mortpourvelo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 393 ✭✭Mortpourvelo


    pumpkin4life wrote: »
    It must be so hard being Louise O Neill.

    Nah, that pile of crap book sold like hot cakes - she's minted.


  • #623
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    Butters1979 wrote: »
    Bullsh1t. If women were truly harassed to that level and felt at any moment they would be raped they wouldn't be in nightclubs dressed up to the nines knocking back drink like it's a free bar. They'd stay well clear of the violent and dangerous world of outside.
    Most women look forward too and enjoy (and quite rightly) a good night out. If they were in this much fear they would not.

    But why would you let anyone stop you from going out? That's letting them win. I've been groped in a nightclub in the vagina once and that doesn't stop me going out. I think he was a pathetic prick, but again I don't think all men are like that, and I wouldn't give him the power to stop me going


  • #624
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    We are not saying all men are rapists, we are not saying all women are victims. We, men and women, I've seen alot of men discussing online, are saying it's healthy and positive to have discussions about consent going forward.

    We are not against each other, we're for each other!


  • #625
    Butters1979
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Butters1979


    midlandsmissus wrote: »
    But why would you let anyone stop you from going out? That's letting them win. I've been groped in a nightclub in the vagina once and that doesn't stop me going out. I think he was a pathetic prick, but again I don't think all men are like that, and I wouldn't give him the power to stop me going

    Letting them win? Explain how blokes who like to grope women on nights out would see women no longer going to said nights out as winning?


  • #626
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    midlandsmissus wrote: »
    But why would you let anyone stop you from going out? That's letting them win. I've been groped in a nightclub in the vagina once and that doesn't stop me going out. I think he was a pathetic prick, but again I don't think all men are like that, and I wouldn't give him the power to stop me going

    And just to add to that point. Most people are raped by people they are acquainted with. I would feel safe in a bar. I certainly wouldn't feel automatically safe going to a house party/ some one's house. I'd be very choosy about where I would go I'm that instance.


  • #627
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    Butters1979 wrote: »
    Letting them win? Explain how blokes who like to grope women on nights out would see women no longer going to said nights out as winning?

    Because you're letting them control your freedom?
    Sexual assaut is an act of dominance and power always.


  • #628
    Walter H Price
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,839 ✭✭✭Walter H Price


    Mortpourvelo wrote: »
    I think you're missing my point, I AGREE that both male and female can be vulnerable and victims of physical and sexual assault equally.

    It was another poster who said basically that a woman alone at night isn't the same as a man alone at night.

    I agree with your post.

    no not missing your point at all , i was agree and just saying that the sentiment you expressed is routinely being express in the media , in articles like the one in the topic of this thread and i also feel it negatively impacts men and women. apologies if that didn't come across.


  • #629
    py2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,845 ✭✭✭py2006


    midlandsmissus wrote: »
    Sexual assaut is an act of dominance and power always.

    Not necessarily, a drunken pinch on the ass (however unwanted and inappropriate) doesn't necessarily equate to the guy (OR GIRL) trying to be dominant or powerful.


  • #630
    Walter H Price
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,839 ✭✭✭Walter H Price


    py2006 wrote: »
    Not necessarily, a drunken pinch on the ass (however unwanted and inappropriate) doesn't necessarily equate to the guy (OR GIRL) trying to be dominant or powerful.

    Definitely not in the case of the girl id said no to a rake load of times sober but ended up in bed with after I KO'd , she was just evidently gagging for it :P

    The lads have never let me live that one down to be honest


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  • #631
    Mortpourvelo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 393 ✭✭Mortpourvelo


    Walter H Price wrote: »
    no not missing your point at all , i was agree and just saying that the sentiment you expressed is routinely being express in the media , in articles like the one in the topic of this thread and i also feel it negatively impacts men and women. apologies if that didn't come across.

    My bad!!!


This discussion has been closed.
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