Women changing their surname on marriage

Bubbaclaus · 30-07-2016 05:02PM

A friend of mine called Kelly got married to a guy with the surname Kelly.

Needless to say she kept her maiden name.

Giacomo McGubbin · 30-07-2016 06:13PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

Make it 'O Connor Neil' and it's grand.

Giacomo McGubbin · 30-07-2016 06:14PM

fits wrote: »

I was told last week in a complaining manner by the postman that people like me (who haven't changed their name) make his job more difficult.

Nevermind that I have a career, publications and a reputation under my name. I should change it to make life easier for the postman.

The Fecking cheek of him.

Thank God for Postmen. Keeping it real since 2004.

Ally Dick · 30-07-2016 06:16PM

Lau2976 wrote: »

Why? What difference does it make how many surnames someone has to you? I'm honestly just curious here.

It's the arrogance, and the sound of landed gentry off a double barrelled name.

eviltwin · 30-07-2016 06:18PM

Kept my own name. Changing my surname would be as weird to me as changing my first name. My husband isn't a dinosaur and didn't care. We are a tight unit no matter what.

fits · 30-07-2016 06:19PM

Ally Dick wrote: »

It's the arrogance, and the sound of landed gentry off a double barrelled name.

There is often a good explanation for it. People want to have same surname as their children but also might need to keep maiden name for several reasons.

eviltwin · 30-07-2016 06:20PM

Ally Dick wrote: »

It's the arrogance, and the sound of landed gentry off a double barrelled name.

My youngest has a double barrell name

We live in a council estate. No airs or graces here. Not everyone doing it is trying to look posh.

DM addict · 30-07-2016 06:23PM

I didn't change my name. I've kept my birth name so far (HATE the term 'maiden name') and he's kept his.

On the point of kids though, we are intending to both change our names when we reproduce. It's important to both of us that we two and whatever sprogs I pop out all share the same name, so we'll both be changing to something new.

I think double-barrelling can work, but some names just don't sound good together, especially if the names are already both polysyllabic. I've heard of people doing portmantaeau names too: like a surname version of Brangelina. Again, depends on the names.

Moo Moo Land · 30-07-2016 06:27PM

Divorce will become so commonplace that it's probably best for wives to keep their names.

cantdecide · 30-07-2016 06:29PM

The Raptor wrote: »

If I ever get married, I'm keeping my name. I'm no man's possession.

Except your dad's, obviously?

As a dude, I'd have no problem taking a lady's name or keeping my own. I know one couple where she was an only child and the name was effectively about to end so he took her surname.

30-07-2016 06:32PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?

Not exactly obvious if she doesn't use her dad's name

The Raptor · 30-07-2016 06:47PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?

Well obviously I'm Daddy's possession, just like my brother's are as well.

I was born with the name, had it for 30+ years. I intend on having it for another six or seven decades.

Mena Mitty · 30-07-2016 07:06PM

I gave myself the double barrelled name 20 or so years ago for one reason. I switched GP's and there were 7 Mena Mitty's as patients. On more than one occasion while visiting the GP, the file on the table in front of him was not mine but some other M.M.

The day I walked in and the doctor asked me how I was getting along on the new meds was the day I asked the surgery to put the double barreled name on my charts henseforth.

The new double barreled name nearly got me some other womans injection while in hospital shortly afterwards. What with me not familiar with my new sounding name and the good doctor not familiar with the English language, sure if I wasn't as paranoid as I am sure about what I put in me gob or on me person I'd be a gonner maybe today.

cantdecide · 30-07-2016 07:08PM

The Raptor wrote: »

Well obviously I'm Daddy's possession, just like my brother's are as well.

I was born with the name, had it for 30+ years. I intend on having it for another six or seven decades.

I'm yanking your chain

If I were lucky enough to land a nice lady and it was her desire, for whatever her own reason, to take my name, the first thing I wouldn't think is 'hey great, now I own her'. I just think one person taking another's name is a humble statement of alignment and agreement with possession shouldn't register as a possible factor.

Giacomo McGubbin · 30-07-2016 07:12PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?

Well she is Daddy's girl . . . .

Annasopra · 30-07-2016 07:14PM

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?

As a dude, I'd have no problem taking a lady's name or keeping my own. I know one couple where she was an only child and the name was effectively about to end so he took her surname.

My female friend told her brother she wanted a future husband to take her surname. Her Brother called her a ball breaker

silverharp · 30-07-2016 07:22PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

My female friend told her brother she wanted a future husband to take her surname. Her Brother called her a ball breaker

cat lady perhaps :pac:

my wife didnt take my name which was fine, she is German and her business depends on her "germanness" plus my surname and her christian name would sound odd. my kids have my name which is good enough.

Ally Dick · 30-07-2016 07:57PM

I hate double barrelling, and I hate Yanks who give themselves a numeric after their name e.g. Davis Love III. How arrogant

Tasden · 30-07-2016 08:11PM

I think it's a lovely tradition.

TheDriver · 30-07-2016 09:34PM

What about parents who don't marry, have individual surnames but give their kids double barrelled names??

cantdecide · 30-07-2016 10:08PM

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

My female friend told her brother she wanted a future husband to take her surname. Her Brother called her a ball breaker

I think if she was unyielding about it she would be a ball breaker in the same way that if the future husband insisted she take his name, that would make him a cock. Isn't it all about agreement and possibly compromise.

Vojera · 30-07-2016 10:23PM

My wife and I are both women and had a few discussions about what we would do with our surnames when we got married.

Our names sound awful when double-barrelled. We considered a portmanteau too but since name-change in Ireland is through common use and not the courts we didn't want to end up having trouble applying for passports/driving licenses down the line. That and none of our family would take it seriously

In the end we kept our own names. Both our fathers have passed away so it's a nice connection there, plus it's just way handier.

Three of my female friends have gotten married in the past year and of them only one has taken her husband's name. The other two haven't even hyphenated. I know another couple as well where both the husband and wife double-barrelled their surnames, which is a cool idea.

I kind of like the Spanish model of carrying surnames. It's so much more interesting.

hatrickpatrick · 30-07-2016 10:27PM

I don't approve of the tradition at all and I believe that it fuels an unhealthy attitude towards relationships, namely the idea that being in a relationship means you cease to be an individual. If I was getting married, at the end of the day it would be her choice but I would implore her to keep her own name, and thus her own identity as a fully fledged individual, rather than defining her entire identity by her relationship - which is essentially what you're doing if you take somebody's name, at least in my opinion.

mansize · 30-07-2016 10:30PM

If I ever get married, I'd assume we'd both just keep our names, I'm certainly not mixing it.

Hyphenated? Depending on the name. But I'd probably just keep my name and he keep his.

Autosport · 30-07-2016 10:35PM

If I ever get married I'm keeping my surname. I like my name and I don't see why I would have to change it and if we were to have kids we could always double barrel

sassyj · 30-07-2016 10:42PM

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

I'm surprised this isn't some hot topic issue for femists out there :pac:

Part of feminism is about the freedom to make choices. If a woman chooses freely to change her own name so be it. Mary Robinson changed her name upon marriage, and she's a feminist. The term is thrown around, often with little understanding of what it actually is.

twill · 30-07-2016 10:47PM

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

It's an old tradition that most people don't give much thought. Like engagement rings, it should die out if women really wanted independence and equality etc etc bla bla bla

Well, to be pedantic, it's an old English tradition which spread to some of the wider western world through colonisation, but doesn't apply in the native Irish tradition (the use of "Bean X" was more of a middle class convention, I think).

hatrickpatrick · 30-07-2016 10:48PM

sassyj wrote: »

Part of feminism is about the freedom to make choices. If a woman chooses freely to chase her own name so be it. Mary Robinson chased her name upon marriage, and she's a feminist. The term is thrown around, often with little understanding of what it actually is.

To be fair, traditional feminism is indeed about freedom of choice. However, the most vocal feminists over the last couple of years, particularly online, have used the term "internalised misogyny" to attack the idea of free will when they see women doing things they don't approve of or consider feminist enough. A prime example is the vitriol which has been levelled at women such as Christina Hoff Summers.

sassyj · 30-07-2016 10:49PM

Bubbaclaus wrote: »

What makes you think they can't? You can change your name to pretty much whatever you like. Just don't go too mad like Princess Consweala Bananahammock or Kim Dotcom.

The reality is that there are few who would ever consider this, a lot of the time it's just presumed the woman will change her name. And the familiar, repetitive reply from a large amount of men that they'd like the kids to have their surname: do you not think a lot of women would love their kids named after them? And if it ever does happen by some miracle, the woman is viewed as a ball buster, and the man as a walk over. Sons are often called after their father, and yet many would find it strange if a woman named a daughter after herself, why?

Fluffy Cat 88 · 30-07-2016 10:51PM

I took the husbands name when I marrried him, no big deal. Some do, some don't it's all down to personal choice.

But the old "double barrel" should only apply to firearms.

Double barreled first name : Anna-Mai. Mothers maiden name D'Arcy. Father's name Murphy. Child saddled with the name "Anna-Mai D'Arcy Murphy"

Thirty years later she marries Michael Smith O'Halloran.

Now she ends up being "Anna-Mai D'Arcy Murphy Smith O'Halloran.

And she gets a name so long it wont fit in those little boxes on the census form.

Women changing their surname on marriage

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