Women changing their surname on marriage

Gael23

I know this doesn't always happen but in the huge majority of cases it does. Is it just a traditional thing? Why not let a couple choose if they want to use the woman's name?

Giacomo McGubbin

Nobody's stopping them. Adults are free to legally change their names to whatever they want.

trixychic

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

Shenshen

I hadn't really thought of it much before I asked him if he wanted to marry me.
But then I figured it would make life easier, because my maiden name is incredibly hard to spell (not only here, but back home in Germany, too. It's just a very awkward name), and his is... well, common as muck around here.
So it really was just the most practial thing for me to do at the time

I do know a few couples where the decision went the other way, though, mostly for similar reasons.

Ally Dick

The one I cannot stand is the women who do the dreaded double barrelling - Mrs Mary Higgins O'Kelly returns from her honeymoon to work. F@ck off and pick one or the other. I deliberately ignore the surname to the left of the barrel and never refer to it. Mary Mitchell O'Connor would be Mrs O'Connor in every correspondence ever, or formal presentation

Lau2976

Ally Dick wrote: »

The one I cannot stand is the women who do the dreaded double barrelling - Mrs Mary Higgins O'Kelly returns from her honeymoon to work. F@ck off and pick one or the other. I deliberately ignore the surname to the left of the barrel and never refer to it. Mary Mitchell O'Connor would be Mrs O'Connor in every correspondence ever, or formal presentation

Why? What difference does it make how many surnames someone has to you? I'm honestly just curious here.

myshirt

What about Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo? Do people want to shorten that aswell? If Mary Mitchell O'Connor is her name, then call her Mary Mitchell O'Connor. What's the problem?

Bubbaclaus

Gael23 wrote: »

Why not let a couple choose if they want to use the woman's name?

What makes you think they can't? You can change your name to pretty much whatever you like. Just don't go too mad like Princess Consweala Bananahammock or Kim Dotcom.

gifted

Hell yes...if herself wants to be buried with my lot then she takes the name of my lot....















Please don't show her this ....

darkpagandeath

We are all Number 1 now.

Tipperary Fairy

It's an old tradition that most people don't give much thought. Like engagement rings, it should die out if women really wanted independence and equality etc etc bla bla bla

barneystinson

myshirt wrote: »

What about Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo? Do people want to shorten that aswell? If Mary Mitchell O'Connor is her name, then call her Mary Mitchell O'Connor. What's the problem?

Well it gets a bit unwieldy after a generation or two of that kind of indulgence...

Mary Mitchell O'Connor marries Michael Murphy Walsh... does she become Mary Mitchell O'Connor Murphy Walsh? And what the hell do they call the kids? And if you do go the whole hog for the quadruple barrel surname, and the kid marries another quad, do you go for an OCTOBARREL surname?

Elliott S

trixychic wrote: »

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

Same. We both have weird surnames but his is marginally less weird. If I wanted to keep my surname though, I would.

Galwayguy35

Sure nobody has to change it, it's up to the woman if she wants to or not.

Although I must admit if I ever have a kid I'd prefer if he/she had my surname.

Arcade_Tryer

barneystinson wrote: »

Well it gets a bit unwieldy after a generation or two of that kind of indulgence...

Mary Mitchell O'Connor marries Michael Murphy Walsh... does she become Mary Mitchell O'Connor Murphy Walsh? And what the hell do they call the kids? And if you do go the whole hog for the quadruple barrel surname, and the kid marries another quad, do you go for an OCTOBARREL surname?

Self importance.

Elliott S

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

It's an old tradition that most people don't give much thought. Like engagement rings, it should die out if women really wanted independence and equality etc etc bla bla bla

I don't have an engagement ring for a variety of reasons, indifference being a big one. I never realised until getting engaged how much societal pressure there is to have one!

Joey Jo-Jo Junior

myshirt wrote: »

What about Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo? Do people want to shorten that aswell? If Mary Mitchell O'Connor is her name, then call her Mary Mitchell O'Connor. What's the problem?

My friends call me Joey Jo-Jo.

RhubarbCrumble

Most of my married friends either use their own name or have double barreled. I can actually only think of two that became Mrs his name and one of those is in England where it still seems to be more expected.
Personally my own surname sounds terrible double barreled with anything, so I'll never be changing it.

Mr.Crinklewood

trixychic wrote: »

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

Are they all related to you?

DEFTLEFTHAND

I like hyphenated surnames.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

Sam Kade

trixychic wrote: »

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

What's your surname? As long as it isn't Ramsbottom or shufflebottom

Lisha

I changed my name . Didn't see why not really. Through laziness though my bank account and visa are still in maiden name.
We have joint acc in married name.
It doesn't bother me if people use both or double barrel. Each to their own.
Now that we have children it's easier that we all have the same name. Might be old fashioned but I'm happy with that. It work for us. If others choose differently then that's their business.

Also I went from having on of Ireland most common surname to one of the most unusual. I hate spelling it got people all the time.

B.A._Baracus

I'm surprised this isn't some hot topic issue for femists out there :pac:

Loveinapril

I didn't change my name. It just never made sense to change it. It's mine!

A few of my friends only started using their married name after they got pregnant/ had kids as they all wanted the same name.

Tipperary Fairy

Elliott S wrote: »

I don't have an engagement ring for a variety of reasons, indifference being a big one. I never realised until getting engaged how much societal pressure there is to have one!

Yeah I bet.

Even more basic things too, had a practical stranger enquire about me and my boyfriend getting married the other day. It's assumed you will, feel like you have to explain or give some reason as to why you don't want to

ncmc

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

I don't mind double barrelled names per SR, but if it's already a name with an 'O' or a 'Mc' then it's a bit of a mouthful to double barrel. I am a Mc so never bothered hyphenating, I sort of half changed my name, passport and bank accounts still in maiden name, pretty much everything else in married name.

Summer wind

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

Sounds a bit Downton Abbey. Presenting Lady O Connor O Neill. Has a nice ring to it.

CrabRevolution

barneystinson wrote: »

Well it gets a bit unwieldy after a generation or two of that kind of indulgence...

Mary Mitchell O'Connor marries Michael Murphy Walsh... does she become Mary Mitchell O'Connor Murphy Walsh? And what the hell do they call the kids? And if you do go the whole hog for the quadruple barrel surname, and the kid marries another quad, do you go for an OCTOBARREL surname?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reginald_Drax

Brother of the poet Edward Plunkett (Lord Dunsany).

fits

I was told last week in a complaining manner by the postman that people like me (who haven't changed their name) make his job more difficult.

Nevermind that I have a career, publications and a reputation under my name. I should change it to make life easier for the postman.

The Fecking cheek of him.

Witchie

I did change my name because I wanted to have the same name as my kids. Didn't change it on my passport or driving licence though.

When I left my ex, I went back to my own name immediately coz the less I could have to do with him the better. It used to drive me mad though when schools would send out letters addressed to Mrs MarriedName. I would always respond with my maiden name and actually said it to the secretary that Mrs MarriedName was my ex-MIL and not to call me it again. They soon stopped.

It was a bit awkward at first but they soon got used to it. Going to parent teacher meetings I would always introduce my self with my maiden name and say Son1 MarriedName's mum etc.

So basically I can understand why people change, particularly if they are having kids but I would never change mine now. It is very much my identity and it is quite unusual and I love it so won't be giving it up for no man, no sireeee.

The Raptor

If I ever get married, I'm keeping my name. I'm no man's possession.

Bubbaclaus

A friend of mine called Kelly got married to a guy with the surname Kelly.

Needless to say she kept her maiden name.

Giacomo McGubbin

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

Make it 'O Connor Neil' and it's grand.

Giacomo McGubbin

fits wrote: »

I was told last week in a complaining manner by the postman that people like me (who haven't changed their name) make his job more difficult.

Nevermind that I have a career, publications and a reputation under my name. I should change it to make life easier for the postman.

The Fecking cheek of him.

Thank God for Postmen. Keeping it real since 2004.

Ally Dick

Lau2976 wrote: »

Why? What difference does it make how many surnames someone has to you? I'm honestly just curious here.

It's the arrogance, and the sound of landed gentry off a double barrelled name.

eviltwin

Kept my own name. Changing my surname would be as weird to me as changing my first name. My husband isn't a dinosaur and didn't care. We are a tight unit no matter what.

fits

Ally Dick wrote: »

It's the arrogance, and the sound of landed gentry off a double barrelled name.

There is often a good explanation for it. People want to have same surname as their children but also might need to keep maiden name for several reasons.

eviltwin

Ally Dick wrote: »

It's the arrogance, and the sound of landed gentry off a double barrelled name.

My youngest has a double barrell name

We live in a council estate. No airs or graces here. Not everyone doing it is trying to look posh.

DM addict

I didn't change my name. I've kept my birth name so far (HATE the term 'maiden name') and he's kept his.

On the point of kids though, we are intending to both change our names when we reproduce. It's important to both of us that we two and whatever sprogs I pop out all share the same name, so we'll both be changing to something new.

I think double-barrelling can work, but some names just don't sound good together, especially if the names are already both polysyllabic. I've heard of people doing portmantaeau names too: like a surname version of Brangelina. Again, depends on the names.

Moo Moo Land

Divorce will become so commonplace that it's probably best for wives to keep their names.

cantdecide

The Raptor wrote: »

If I ever get married, I'm keeping my name. I'm no man's possession.

Except your dad's, obviously?



As a dude, I'd have no problem taking a lady's name or keeping my own. I know one couple where she was an only child and the name was effectively about to end so he took her surname.

cantdecide

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?

Not exactly obvious if she doesn't use her dad's name

Loveinapril

cantdecide wrote: »

As a dude, I'd have no problem taking a lady's name or keeping my own. I know one couple where she was an only child and the name was effectively about to end so he took her surname.

If my husband took my surname he would have the exact same name as my brother!

Another thing that made me hold onto my own name is that I only have brothers, so if I changed my name I would be the only person in my family with a different surname. I prefer the idea of having the same name at birth and death!

The Raptor

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?

Well obviously I'm Daddy's possession, just like my brother's are as well.

I was born with the name, had it for 30+ years. I intend on having it for another six or seven decades.

Mena Mitty

I gave myself the double barrelled name 20 or so years ago for one reason. I switched GP's and there were 7 Mena Mitty's as patients. On more than one occasion while visiting the GP, the file on the table in front of him was not mine but some other M.M.

The day I walked in and the doctor asked me how I was getting along on the new meds was the day I asked the surgery to put the double barreled name on my charts henseforth.

The new double barreled name nearly got me some other womans injection while in hospital shortly afterwards. What with me not familiar with my new sounding name and the good doctor not familiar with the English language, sure if I wasn't as paranoid as I am sure about what I put in me gob or on me person I'd be a gonner maybe today.

cantdecide

The Raptor wrote: »

Well obviously I'm Daddy's possession, just like my brother's are as well.

I was born with the name, had it for 30+ years. I intend on having it for another six or seven decades.

I'm yanking your chain

If I were lucky enough to land a nice lady and it was her desire, for whatever her own reason, to take my name, the first thing I wouldn't think is 'hey great, now I own her'. I just think one person taking another's name is a humble statement of alignment and agreement with possession shouldn't register as a possible factor.

Giacomo McGubbin

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?

Well she is Daddy's girl . . . .

Annasopra

cantdecide wrote: »

Except your dad's, obviously?



As a dude, I'd have no problem taking a lady's name or keeping my own. I know one couple where she was an only child and the name was effectively about to end so he took her surname.

My female friend told her brother she wanted a future husband to take her surname. Her Brother called her a ball breaker

silverharp

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

My female friend told her brother she wanted a future husband to take her surname. Her Brother called her a ball breaker

cat lady perhaps :pac:



my wife didnt take my name which was fine, she is German and her business depends on her "germanness" plus my surname and her christian name would sound odd. my kids have my name which is good enough.

Ally Dick

I hate double barrelling, and I hate Yanks who give themselves a numeric after their name e.g. Davis Love III. How arrogant