Women changing their surname on marriage

Gael23 · 30-07-2016 02:28PM #1

I know this doesn't always happen but in the huge majority of cases it does. Is it just a traditional thing? Why not let a couple choose if they want to use the woman's name?

Giacomo McGubbin · 30-07-2016 02:30PM

Nobody's stopping them. Adults are free to legally change their names to whatever they want.

trixychic · 30-07-2016 02:32PM

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

Shenshen · 30-07-2016 02:46PM

I hadn't really thought of it much before I asked him if he wanted to marry me.
But then I figured it would make life easier, because my maiden name is incredibly hard to spell (not only here, but back home in Germany, too. It's just a very awkward name), and his is... well, common as muck around here.
So it really was just the most practial thing for me to do at the time

I do know a few couples where the decision went the other way, though, mostly for similar reasons.

Ally Dick · 30-07-2016 02:48PM

The one I cannot stand is the women who do the dreaded double barrelling - Mrs Mary Higgins O'Kelly returns from her honeymoon to work. F@ck off and pick one or the other. I deliberately ignore the surname to the left of the barrel and never refer to it. Mary Mitchell O'Connor would be Mrs O'Connor in every correspondence ever, or formal presentation

Lau2976 · 30-07-2016 02:51PM

Ally Dick wrote: »

The one I cannot stand is the women who do the dreaded double barrelling - Mrs Mary Higgins O'Kelly returns from her honeymoon to work. F@ck off and pick one or the other. I deliberately ignore the surname to the left of the barrel and never refer to it. Mary Mitchell O'Connor would be Mrs O'Connor in every correspondence ever, or formal presentation

Why? What difference does it make how many surnames someone has to you? I'm honestly just curious here.

myshirt · 30-07-2016 02:53PM

What about Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo? Do people want to shorten that aswell? If Mary Mitchell O'Connor is her name, then call her Mary Mitchell O'Connor. What's the problem?

Bubbaclaus · 30-07-2016 02:58PM

Gael23 wrote: »

Why not let a couple choose if they want to use the woman's name?

What makes you think they can't? You can change your name to pretty much whatever you like. Just don't go too mad like Princess Consweala Bananahammock or Kim Dotcom.

gifted · 30-07-2016 02:59PM

Hell yes...if herself wants to be buried with my lot then she takes the name of my lot....

Please don't show her this ....

darkpagandeath · 30-07-2016 02:59PM

We are all Number 1 now.

Tipperary Fairy · 30-07-2016 03:05PM

It's an old tradition that most people don't give much thought. Like engagement rings, it should die out if women really wanted independence and equality etc etc bla bla bla

barneystinson · 30-07-2016 03:07PM

myshirt wrote: »

What about Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo? Do people want to shorten that aswell? If Mary Mitchell O'Connor is her name, then call her Mary Mitchell O'Connor. What's the problem?

Well it gets a bit unwieldy after a generation or two of that kind of indulgence...

Mary Mitchell O'Connor marries Michael Murphy Walsh... does she become Mary Mitchell O'Connor Murphy Walsh? And what the hell do they call the kids? And if you do go the whole hog for the quadruple barrel surname, and the kid marries another quad, do you go for an OCTOBARREL surname?

Elliott S · 30-07-2016 03:08PM

trixychic wrote: »

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

Same. We both have weird surnames but his is marginally less weird. If I wanted to keep my surname though, I would.

Galwayguy35 · 30-07-2016 03:09PM

Sure nobody has to change it, it's up to the woman if she wants to or not.

Although I must admit if I ever have a kid I'd prefer if he/she had my surname.

Arcade_Tryer · 30-07-2016 03:10PM

barneystinson wrote: »

Well it gets a bit unwieldy after a generation or two of that kind of indulgence...

Mary Mitchell O'Connor marries Michael Murphy Walsh... does she become Mary Mitchell O'Connor Murphy Walsh? And what the hell do they call the kids? And if you do go the whole hog for the quadruple barrel surname, and the kid marries another quad, do you go for an OCTOBARREL surname?

Self importance.

Elliott S · 30-07-2016 03:11PM

Tipperary Fairy wrote: »

It's an old tradition that most people don't give much thought. Like engagement rings, it should die out if women really wanted independence and equality etc etc bla bla bla

I don't have an engagement ring for a variety of reasons, indifference being a big one. I never realised until getting engaged how much societal pressure there is to have one!

Joey Jo-Jo Junior · 30-07-2016 03:19PM

myshirt wrote: »

What about Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo? Do people want to shorten that aswell? If Mary Mitchell O'Connor is her name, then call her Mary Mitchell O'Connor. What's the problem?

My friends call me Joey Jo-Jo.

RhubarbCrumble · 30-07-2016 03:38PM

Most of my married friends either use their own name or have double barreled. I can actually only think of two that became Mrs his name and one of those is in England where it still seems to be more expected.
Personally my own surname sounds terrible double barreled with anything, so I'll never be changing it.

Mr.Crinklewood · 30-07-2016 03:39PM

trixychic wrote: »

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

Are they all related to you?

DEFTLEFTHAND · 30-07-2016 04:08PM

I like hyphenated surnames.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 30-07-2016 04:10PM

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

Sam Kade · 30-07-2016 04:12PM

trixychic wrote: »

I personally hate my surname and can't wait to change to his. I know alot of others like me.

What's your surname? As long as it isn't Ramsbottom or shufflebottom

Lisha · 30-07-2016 04:13PM

I changed my name . Didn't see why not really. Through laziness though my bank account and visa are still in maiden name.
We have joint acc in married name.
It doesn't bother me if people use both or double barrel. Each to their own.
Now that we have children it's easier that we all have the same name. Might be old fashioned but I'm happy with that. It work for us. If others choose differently then that's their business.

Also I went from having on of Ireland most common surname to one of the most unusual. I hate spelling it got people all the time.

B.A._Baracus · 30-07-2016 04:18PM

I'm surprised this isn't some hot topic issue for femists out there :pac:

Tipperary Fairy · 30-07-2016 04:23PM

Elliott S wrote: »

I don't have an engagement ring for a variety of reasons, indifference being a big one. I never realised until getting engaged how much societal pressure there is to have one!

Yeah I bet.

Even more basic things too, had a practical stranger enquire about me and my boyfriend getting married the other day. It's assumed you will, feel like you have to explain or give some reason as to why you don't want to

ncmc · 30-07-2016 04:27PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

I don't mind double barrelled names per SR, but if it's already a name with an 'O' or a 'Mc' then it's a bit of a mouthful to double barrel. I am a Mc so never bothered hyphenating, I sort of half changed my name, passport and bank accounts still in maiden name, pretty much everything else in married name.

Summer wind · 30-07-2016 04:34PM

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Lads I actually would like your opinion on something.

What do you think of "O'Connor O'Neill"

Too much of a mouthful with all the Os perhaps?

Sounds a bit Downton Abbey. Presenting Lady O Connor O Neill. Has a nice ring to it.

CrabRevolution · 30-07-2016 04:36PM

barneystinson wrote: »

Well it gets a bit unwieldy after a generation or two of that kind of indulgence...

Mary Mitchell O'Connor marries Michael Murphy Walsh... does she become Mary Mitchell O'Connor Murphy Walsh? And what the hell do they call the kids? And if you do go the whole hog for the quadruple barrel surname, and the kid marries another quad, do you go for an OCTOBARREL surname?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reginald_Drax

Brother of the poet Edward Plunkett (Lord Dunsany).

fits · 30-07-2016 04:52PM

I was told last week in a complaining manner by the postman that people like me (who haven't changed their name) make his job more difficult.

Nevermind that I have a career, publications and a reputation under my name. I should change it to make life easier for the postman.

The Fecking cheek of him.

Witchie · 30-07-2016 04:54PM

I did change my name because I wanted to have the same name as my kids. Didn't change it on my passport or driving licence though.

When I left my ex, I went back to my own name immediately coz the less I could have to do with him the better. It used to drive me mad though when schools would send out letters addressed to Mrs MarriedName. I would always respond with my maiden name and actually said it to the secretary that Mrs MarriedName was my ex-MIL and not to call me it again. They soon stopped.

It was a bit awkward at first but they soon got used to it. Going to parent teacher meetings I would always introduce my self with my maiden name and say Son1 MarriedName's mum etc.

So basically I can understand why people change, particularly if they are having kids but I would never change mine now. It is very much my identity and it is quite unusual and I love it so won't be giving it up for no man, no sireeee.

The Raptor · 30-07-2016 05:01PM

If I ever get married, I'm keeping my name. I'm no man's possession.

Women changing their surname on marriage

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