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Friday Weddings :(

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2

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    #32
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Addle wrote: »
    I don't think Friday is considered a 'mid week' wedding.

    What difference does it make? Week day or midweek People still have to take leave to attend?


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    #33
    fits
    Registered Users Posts: 13,316 ✭✭✭✭fits


    If the wedding was on a Thursday you would probably have to take two days. ´Monday-Thursday is midweek.


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    #34
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    ?? Some people have hens/stags a month before wedding... Some have them 2 months before.

    I actually thought this wedding was going to be in September which wouldn't have been a problem. August is a bit of a problem.

    Don't invites 'usually' issue 6 weeks in advance if the wedding?
    If you got the invite 2 weeks earlier, would you have the same decision to make?


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    #35
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    What difference does it make? Week day or midweek People still have to take leave to attend?

    Not everyone works Fridays.
    Not everyone is off on Saturdays.


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    #36
    pc7
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,062 Mod ✭✭✭✭pc7


    Addle wrote: »
    Don't invites 'usually' issue 6 weeks in advance if the wedding?
    If you got the invite 2 weeks earlier, would you have the same decision to make?


    Most weddings I've been invited too invites are out 2-3 months ahead (some send save the date cards earlier), with an rsvp of at least 3-4 weeks before the wedding. Most venues need a firm idea at that stage with a firming up the final week.


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    #37
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Addle wrote: »
    Don't invites 'usually' issue 6 weeks in advance if the wedding?
    If you got the invite 2 weeks earlier, would you have the same decision to make?

    Well if we got the invite 6 weeks in advance the wedding wouldn't be until September which is what I was expecting. This wouldn't have been a problem as we wouldn't be asking for 3 consecutive Friday's off and three consecutive Friday's and Saturdays of granny minding a 2 and 3 year old.


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    #38
    RedXIV
    Registered Users Posts: 8,422 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Slightly Off topic, I'm delighted to see the responses here about the time to send out invitations. We send invitations out almost 3 months before the wedding and my mother tried to convince me to send the ones to her family out bang on the 6 week mark as "that's the done thing".

    Glad I ignored her now :D


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    #39
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    It's the done thing amongst my circle.
    Maybe your mum and I are in the same circle!


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    #40
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Addle wrote: »
    Not everyone works Fridays.
    Not everyone is off on Saturdays.

    TBH I think you need to chill out a bit. Your posts are completely derailing the thread. You obviously have issues with something I have posted and taken it personally. It would be awesome if you could please stop picking apart every word or comment I make and taking it out of context. I started this thread asking for advise not definition on what a mid week or a week day wedding are. If you're looking for an argument try personal issues or after hours. Thanks.


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    #41
    pc7
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,062 Mod ✭✭✭✭pc7


    Honestly you seem to be letting this stress you out. You got the invite, it's too short notice for work and kids no biggie! Just let your hubby explain this (unless he can go himself) and that's it.


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    #42
    kerryked
    Registered Users Posts: 627 ✭✭✭kerryked


    Look, there's no point arguing on here over the whole thing.

    Have you actually talked to your husband about this? I think you have to make the decision with him, not 50 boardsies :pac:


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    #43
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Sorry mods of that wasn't an appropriate post...


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    #44
    RedXIV
    Registered Users Posts: 8,422 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Addle wrote: »
    It's the done thing amongst my circle.
    Maybe your mum and I are in the same circle!

    Wouldn't surprise me, her circle size is "equator" :)


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    #45
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    kerryked wrote: »
    Look, there's no point arguing on here over the whole thing.

    Have you actually talked to your husband about this? I think you have to make the decision with him, not 50 boardsies :pac:

    Lol lol yep! I'm just at home having a nice rant to work me up before he gets home! :). He won't know what hits him when he gets back. He'll be dying to go to this on his own.... :)


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    #46
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    TBH I think you need to chill out a bit. Your posts are completely derailing the thread. You obviously have issues with something I have posted and taken it personally. It would be awesome if you could please stop picking apart every word or comment I make and taking it out of context. I started this thread asking for advise not definition on what a mid week or a week day wedding are. If you're looking for an argument try personal issues or after hours. Thanks.

    OTT there.
    See my first response. Just tell the truth.
    You're making a bigger deal out of it than needs be.


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    #47
    radharc
    Registered Users Posts: 965 ✭✭✭radharc


    The thread title is misleading, the only issue here is the short notice period. Friday weddings have always been just as popular as Saturday weddings.


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    #48
    kerryked
    Registered Users Posts: 627 ✭✭✭kerryked


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    Lol lol yep! I'm just at home having a nice rant to work me up before he gets home! :). He won't know what hits him when he gets back. He'll be dying to go to this on his own.... :)

    Ahahaha, poor man, I'm volunteering to text him and warn him what awaits :rolleyes:


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    #49
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    radharc wrote: »
    The thread title is misleading, the only issue here is the short notice period. Friday weddings have always been just as popular as Saturday weddings.

    Not when it's every Friday of the month :(. We wouldn't have an issue of it were every Saturday as there wouldn't be as many things to organise. Main issue really being time off work. Childcare can usually get sorted for us on a weekend.

    But look, it's totally up to the couple. It's their big day. And there will be many reasons why they as the couple preferred a Friday. Availability could be a big one also.


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    #50
    mmooney1983
    Closed Accounts Posts: 73 ✭✭mmooney1983


    Just in re: Friday weddings generally, as a lot of people get annoyed at them

    -not cheaper at all
    -civil weddings not done at weekends - not everyone wants a church wedding y'know
    -if you want a Saturday venue, you gotta wait 1.5 or more years... who the fec wants to wait that long poring over invitation paper and choosing themes etc :p for all of the above reasons we had a Friday wedding.

    We gave 10 months' notice though, and everyone came - I'd say just let the hubby go on his own - they can't possibly take offence. I'm not free for another 4 or 5 weekends with normal social stuff, let alone weddings.


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    #51
    Rose35
    Registered Users Posts: 566 ✭✭✭Rose35


    We got married recently, on a saturday. Anyway, we had a lot of guests coming without their partners for various reasons.
    He could go on his own to this one, the bride and groom won't even bat an eyelid at it, totally understandable you couldn't make it with childcare etc.


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    #52
    bobbysands81
    Registered Users Posts: 7,202 ✭✭✭bobbysands81


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    Hi all, so today we got the most beautiful invitation. The groom is a very good friend of my husband. Unfortunately the wedding is on a Friday and only 4 weeks away.

    I totally understand why more and more people are choosing to wed on a Friday. It's a lot cheaper etc. But I'm stressing a bit now as for the month of August we will have 3 Friday weddings to attend. We really can't take this time off work. As it is we've had to take a lot of time off for childcare the past couple of months due to me changing Jobs. This particular wedding is about a 3 hour drive away aswell so we would need to sort childcare for the night which is going to be a disaster on a Friday. If it were weekend we could maybe get my hubbys parents but they work during the week so this isn't an option.

    Not sure what we can do. We'd love to go... And I know husband will want to go. And kinda feel like he has to. I would love to go. But it's just such stress having to organise it all and I don't know if we can. The weddings are all good friends so It's something that would mean a lot to them and to us to go.

    Do you think a couple would be annoyed if we didn't go. I wouldn't know what to say as an excuse. I don't think saying we have 3 Friday weddings already is appropriate. And childcare,
    Work etc... I think maybe they will think... "Well we did give 4 weeks notice". I dunno. Maybe they won't think this at all. I could maybe just tell my OH to go on his own and I stay home with the kids. But that's kinda crap :(

    Sorry for the rant. Just a bit stressed now :(

    I don't know why you're saying you really want to go when you don't seem to want to go at all. If you wanted to go you could go. You can try and sort childcare but if you can't why not try and bring the kids and ask hotel for babysitter checking on them throughout the night or taking turns minding your kids in the room after they've gone to bed, or bringing a parent to mind them in the room, or your partner going on his own. There are many solutions.

    4 weeks notice for a social event is enough if the only real issue preventing you from going is childcare and not financial etc...

    You recently changed jobs, I presume to a new employer, did your husband use up annual leave to mind the kids to facilitate this? As you've changed jobs how is time off from the new employer an issue for you?

    This is your husband's good friend, if he put barriers up for you to attend a good friend's wedding how would you feel?

    If this was a really good and close friend of yours would you have asked this question on boards?


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    #53
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,644 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Don't get it really it still comes down to do you want to go or not. Hate all this malarkey judging the couple they can do want they want stop reading into peeps.

    I get tis Friday but more than likely it isn't cost are they all civil ceremony's perhaps... And either way again it doesn't matter, just go to the afters if you really want to go but cant


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    #54
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    bobbysands81 wrote: »
    I don't know why you're saying you really want to go when you don't seem to want to go at all. If you wanted to go you could go. You can try and sort childcare but if you can't why not try and bring the kids and ask hotel for babysitter checking on them throughout the night or taking turns minding your kids in the room after they've gone to bed, or bringing a parent to mind them in the room, or your partner going on his own. There are many solutions.

    4 weeks notice for a social event is enough if the only real issue preventing you from going is childcare and not financial etc...

    You recently changed jobs, I presume to a new employer, did your husband use up annual leave to mind the kids to facilitate this? As you've changed jobs how is time off from the new employer an issue for you?

    This is your husband's good friend, if he put barriers up for you to attend a good friend's wedding how would you feel?

    If this was a really good and close friend of yours would you have asked this question on boards?

    Are you actually serious. I wasn't even going to dignify your post with an answer but as you made an effort to reply to the thread I will.

    No I really don't want to go. The thought of it fills me with a rage. Of course I want to go! It's gonna be a big piss up with nice food and a big party with lots of people we know. And the fact I love weddings. I think they're great craic.

    Secondly, you obviously don't have children. There is no way in hell I would leave my 2yo and 3 yo with a stranger or someone I don't know. Also, did u read my other posts about grandparents minding? It is not up to grandparents to constantly mind our kids. They are OUR responsibility. Which leads me to believe why you don't have any. Also, it is 3 hours away from us so no grandparents would not come anyway. They only adequate solution you have provided here is in fact the solution I have already said we will probably have to take. OH going on his own.

    Yes I will be changing jobs. My new job commences the first week in August. This is why I have had to work more days than I normally would to tie up all loose ends in my current job. And the new job will require this Initially aswell. As I am already Taking time to attend my best friends wedding I will not now be asking for time off to attend another wedding when only yesterday I phoned boss and comitted to a new roster.

    And yes of course my OH has taken leave to facilitate my new job. Just like I took 2 years off to facilitate US while I looked after OUR children for the first little time of their lives. Even tho that meant my husband climbing his ladder while I had to take steps back down mine. That's what couples do for each other. Which also leads me to believe if you are in relationship at all.... It mustn't be a very equal one.

    I am in no way putting up barriers to go to this wedding. It's a fact of life that sometimes when people really really do want to go to something life gets in the way. Usually from prior commitments or dependants that they have to put first. Long gone are the days myself and my OH could put ourselves first. If we could... And we didn't have responsibilities... Well then o never would posted in the first place.


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    #55
    kerryked
    Registered Users Posts: 627 ✭✭✭kerryked


    Let us know how the chat with husband goes Sligo..

    I feel like it'll go something like this..

    "We've got another wedding the end of August, trying to get days off and a baby sitter is going to be a pain in the ass"

    "Ah yeah, and sure we've 3 others in August too"

    "Will we bother going?"

    "I'd say we'll leave this one off sure, I'll give them a text"

    "Okay"

    "Great, what do you want from the chipper?"


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    #56
    bobbysands81
    Registered Users Posts: 7,202 ✭✭✭bobbysands81


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    Are you actually serious. I wasn't even going to dignify your post with an answer but as you made an effort to reply to the thread I will.

    No I really don't want to go. The thought of it fills me with a rage. Of course I want to go! It's gonna be a big piss up with nice food and a big party with lots of people we know. And the fact I love weddings. I think they're great craic.

    Secondly, you obviously don't have children. There is no way in hell I would leave my 2yo and 3 yo with a stranger or someone I don't know. Also, did u read my other posts about grandparents minding? It is not up to grandparents to constantly mind our kids. They are OUR responsibility. Which leads me to believe why you don't have any. Also, it is 3 hours away from us so no grandparents would not come anyway. They only adequate solution you have provided here is in fact the solution I have already said we will probably have to take. OH going on his own.

    Yes I will be changing jobs. My new job commences the first week in August. This is why I have had to work more days than I normally would to tie up all loose ends in my current job. And the new job will require this Initially aswell. As I am already Taking time to attend my best friends wedding I will not now be asking for time off to attend another wedding when only yesterday I phoned boss and comitted to a new roster.

    And yes of course my OH has taken leave to facilitate my new job. Just like I took 2 years off to facilitate US while I looked after OUR children for the first little time of their lives. Even tho that meant my husband climbing his ladder while I had to take steps back down mine. That's what couples do for each other. Which also leads me to believe if you are in relationship at all.... It mustn't be a very equal one.

    I am in no way putting up barriers to go to this wedding. It's a fact of life that sometimes when people really really do want to go to something life gets in the way. Usually from prior commitments or dependants that they have to put first. Long gone are the days myself and my OH could put ourselves first. If we could... And we didn't have responsibilities... Well then o never would posted in the first place.

    You've a lot of anger, as a therapist I know how important it is to release anger so I'm glad I provided you with this channel!

    Chill! You've asked the Internet a question, don't take the responses so personally.

    It's clear by the way you spoke to a previous poster that you only posted here to validate the choice you had already made before you even spoke to your other half about it and gauged his feelings.

    There's a solution to every problem, best of luck finding your best solution here.

    You could always go to this one and turn down one of the other August weddings that was one of your pals?

    My wedding is on a Thursday very soon, I think you'd implode if invited to that!!! We are lucky that our kids are easy to look after, almost identical ages to yours, thankfully we've great families eager to pitch in assistance.


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    #57
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    kerryked wrote: »
    Let us know how the chat with husband goes Sligo..

    I feel like it'll go something like this..

    "We've got another wedding the end of August, trying to get days off and a baby sitter is going to be a pain in the ass"

    "Ah yeah, and sure we've 3 others in August too"

    "Will we bother going?"

    "I'd say we'll leave this one off sure, I'll give them a text"

    "Okay"

    "Great, what do you want from the chipper?"

    Lol. He just came home for lunch there and I mentioned it to him. It Opened up how you anticipated with him adding... "Jeez, August, are you sure it's that close... I thought it was September."

    Then I said... Yea getting off work might be an issue. And his reply was... "Well it will be for you".

    Bahahahaha.... Looks like I'll be staying in yet again. Lol. But seriously... Does it not look bad taking 3 Friday's in a row off!!???!!! Maybe mine and his work ethic differs... Lol


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    #58
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    bobbysands81 wrote: »
    You've a lot of anger, as a therapist I know how important it is to release anger so I'm glad I provided you with this channel!

    It's clear by the way you spoke to a previous poster that you only posted here to validate the choice you had already made before you even spoke to your other half about it and gauged his feelings.

    There's a solution to every problem, best of luck finding your best solution here.

    You could always go to this one and turn down one of the other August weddings that was one of your pals?

    My wedding is on a Thursday very soon, I think you'd implode if invited to that!!! We are lucky that our kids are easy to look after, similar ages to yours.

    I'm also a therapist my dear... Amongst a couple of other qualifications I have psychiatry would be one so don't preach to a preacher :). Thanks for your posts tho. Much appreciated.

    As for the kids... We have fantastic support... But I choose not to take a sense of entitlement either. :). Best of luck.

    P.s. Only one of the weddings is my side. All the other weddings this entire year are his. But as you're very good with assuming things I'll let you off on that one :)


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    #59
    mmooney1983
    Closed Accounts Posts: 73 ✭✭mmooney1983


    I'm a psychiatrist and I'm really enjoying this!


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    #60
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    mmooney1983 wrote: »
    I'm a psychiatrist and I'm really enjoying this!

    Lol. We might know each other... Doh!


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    #61
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    I had better delete my account.... Bahahaha


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