Treat 'em Mean & Keep 'em Keen!

Puck

Finally made sense in a longish post!

Success! \o/

CuLT

Makes sense to me too Puck , I agree with yah, thats can be a problem, Lord knows it was for me a couple of times...

pickarooney

You have to be a bit of a challenge to a woman, she has to be able to wear you down a bit, rein you in, tame you.
Just like a woman has to be a challenge for you. You woldn't appreciate a woman who'd jsut walk up to you, tits out and ask you to shag her, would you? Would you?

Kell

Originally posted by CuLT
Makes sense to me too Puck , I agree with yah, thats can be a problem, Lord knows it was for me a couple of times...

What happens if the individual is one of the old style types that naturally holds doors open, makes sure that you are OK and also buys you drink all night? There are people (myself included) that do stuff like that without trying to impress, it's just the way we are. Granted, this has been taken advantage of in the past, but rather than get bitter and say "fúck all you's bítches, I am gonna treat you mean in future" I am confident enough in myself to continue on the way I have always done, because at the end of the day it works for some and not for others and if you throw enough shít at a wall, some of it is going to stick.

I think that being a deliberate bastard/bítch to someone is appalling. It's manipulative and essentially dishonest to that person. I for one cant find it in myself to be dishonest to anyone and in terms of chatting up someone, or even dating someone I think honesty wins out in the end.

You wouldn't appreciate a woman who'd just walk up to you, tits out and ask you to shag her, would you? Would you?

I'd appreciate her honesty (and prolly her tits if they were nice)

K-

Typedef

Originally posted by Kell
You wouldn't appreciate a woman who'd just walk up to you, tits out and ask you to shag her, would you? Would you?

I'd appreciate her honesty (and prolly her tits if they were nice)

K-

Use and abuse.

Party on Wayne.
Party on Garth.

I think all this touchy feely nice guy stuff has gone too far and men have lost touch with their inner bastards, our natural state of being.

All this cal-toing to feminist imposed guilt must end.... since the feminist's female brethern.. the gold digger is well wise to well meaning men.

In war : It's them or us.

Kell

Originally posted by Typedef
.. the gold digger is well wise to well meaning men.

As saturday night clearly showed. Didn't think my wallet looked that flush to said gold diggers. Bah, women and their wily ways. We'll know better in future.

K_

PS: What movie is that quote in your sig from? It's gonna bug me now.

Just remembered. Silence of the lambs. Hopkins to kidnapped girls mother in plane hanger.

Typedef

Wouldn't you like to know....

Clarice

smiles

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

Right read any / all of the comments / articles on that page.

Women don't want nice guys cause nice guys are pushovers/idiots/boring.

<< Fio >>

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

i think every group should have a token "Nice guy", someone for the other lads to punch and harass when they around women so they don't seem "Nice" or "boring". it benefits everybody, except nice people...but as we've already pointed out, no one gives a toss about them eejits

Typedef

Originally posted by smiles
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

<< Fio >>

That site
All too often we hear self-professed "Nice Guys" complaining about why they can't get a date, and whining that women just want to date jerks, etc. etc. The truth of the matter is that there are genuinely caring, compassionate, decent, fun guys out there who have NO TROUBLE meeting people, getting dates, and having relationships.

Unfortunately, many of the guys who DO have trouble, insist on laying blame and asserting that women don't want them because they are too "Nice". These people who call themselves "Nice Guys" can't see that THEIR OWN behavior is the problem. Whether it is targetting women who are troubled to begin with, or acting in a manipulative, patronizing or obsequious fashion, these guys sabotage themselves and blame others for their misfortunes.

Ha ha.

Good one.

Note : Women are the enemy.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Note : Women are the enemy.

... people need to be told this? I thought we were born with the knowledge

Zascar

Originally posted by Beruthiel
I think the majority of women are Stupid
first you say this
If I like a woman I can only be a gentleman and treat her with the utmost respect

and then you say that -
bullsh*t! I don't believe you
[/B]

Yeah, yeah, I knew someone would take it the wrong way, you can pick holes in anyone's argument that way but I think you get the overall message, I was just enphasing the point... I think that It Is stupid that way so many women go for diick heads when they know its not right for them... etc. etc.

thedoc-name given to a subscriber

Don't you ever wonder why you can't successfully pick up women? Well, we have the answers right here.

AskMen.com conducted an extensive survey with more than one hundred beautiful women. (what a hard job we had!) The purpose was to find out why women fall head over heals over one man more than another. Finally, we got the answer that we've all been anxiously waiting for; it all comes down to the chase. Apparently, women's perception of men depends on how the male goes about setting up the bait to trap women. This perception usually remains the same throughout the relationship. It is safe to say that most women we surveyed enjoy being chased, but get turned off quickly by the way men approach them. Men know how to initiate the chase, but can rarely close the deal successfully.

What your mothers forgot to teach you: "Intro to Women, Class 101". It is a known fact that men are mommy's little boys, and women are daddy's little princesses. The key word is princess. Women like to be cherished, respected, loved, and most of all, showered with attention. So that is what men should give women: attention.

The problem with most men is they think that in order to make sure their catch doesn't get away, they must constantly give women attention. Wrong! The reason that most women get bored in a relationship, or turned off by a new acquaintance, is that they get too much attention at once. Have you ever heard of the phrase "I need some breathing space please!"? Well, this phrase exists for a reason, yet most men ignore it, and continue giving their women their undeniable attention.

Wait a minute! You might ask, "Luis, you just said that women like a lot of attention, and now you are telling me too much is bad??" Yes, because the whole secret is to know when to give attention and when not to. I recommend a three-step method recommended by psychologist Dr. David Libstein. I've tried it and it works! The question now is, is it an ethical method? Well I always say, "What people don't know, won't hurt them."

The Three-Step Bait Method

Stage One: Bait Her

For a woman to know that you are interested, she must be aware of it. If she is not, then absolutely nothing will happen. You therefore have to take a risk. This is where the chase begins.

Pick the woman that you are interested in, wherever you may be. May I suggest that you choose your lady early and concentrate only on her the whole time you are there. If you start looking around too much, you will give her the impression that you are looking for anyone to sleep with. After you find her, begin by looking for body language signs, such as eye contact, a smile, hair touching, etc.

If you get these signs from her, you must move quickly. Most men just wait around eyeballing the lady the whole time. By the time they get the nerves to go talk to her, either someone else moved in, or she'll think you are some perverted stalker because you gawked too much.

Stage Two: Spoil Her With Attention

Okay, now you made your move. You initiated the conversation. Now how do you make sure you keep the conversation going, and ensure she remains interested? Spoil her with attention by asking her all types of questions regarding her life. No sex-related questions please. Instead, talk about her likes (music, food, drinks, restaurants), her education, movies, even the current awkward situation. The important thing is to not mention anything (no matter how tempting) about yourself, unless of course she asks you to. If she does, (this usually means she's interested) please remember to be brief and move the topic back to focus to her.

Offer to buy her a drink only once the conversation has gone on well for an extended period of time (at least ten minutes). Once the conversation deepens, it is okay to mention that you'd like to keep in contact with her, and ask for a phone number. The first phone call should be at least two days after the encounter. The conversation should revolve around how much fun you had with her, and how impressed you were with her personality. In other words, compliment her like crazy. Make sure that the first phone call does not last more than twenty minutes. It is crucial that you end the first phone call first. If she ends the conversation, the ball is in her court. The conversation should end with you inviting her out for a coffee.

On the first date, don't initiate a conversation about sexual topics, unless of course she does. The first date is a time to explore and find out a little more about each other. Do everything for her, but you don't necessarily have to agree with everything that she has to say. When she disagrees with your stance, accept it, and don't offer excuses either. Excuses make you look weak.

Stage Three: The Earthquake

Now that the little "princess" is comfortable, it's time to make the ground shake under her feet. The fact that we want to be accepted, liked, and needed is human nature. Once this need is fulfilled, we turn our attention towards stabilizing it. Just think back to when a friend told you that Mary was interested in you. You probably didn't think much of it at the time, but as soon as you found out that Mary liked someone else, you began wondering why she doesn't like you anymore, and you suddenly became interested in Mary. We always want what we can't have.

Well the same theory applies with women. It is time to take away all that attention from the little sweet princess. How? Simple, ask her to call you. When she does, speak to her and sound really interested, and have a longer conversation. Make her feel that you really like talking to her. End the conversation by politely letting her know that you have things to do, but let her know that you enjoyed talking to her and that you'll call her back. Don't tell her when you'll call her back. Let her wait for a while (around four to five days). She will wonder why you haven't called back, and eventually call you.

Now the ball is in your court. It is crucially important to sound very happy when she calls you, or else she won't call back. The secret to making this method work is that you confuse her. First you make her think that you are really interested in her. Second, you make her feel as if you are no longer interested. Then, repeat the process. What will eventually happen is that her need to be accepted will grow and she will focus her attention on you, to make sure you like her. Then her mind will wander, and she will think about why she is spending so much time thinking about you. Her subconscious mind will then reason that it must be because she cares about you.

It is a shame that people have to resort to such devious methods, but your alternative is to be a nice guy. We all know what happens to nice guys, right? They finish last. Why? Because the women they are with get bored and eventually leave.

Typedef

The other alternative to such contrived methodology is to become completely emotionless.

That way girls will always want you... and even if they don't ... what do you care anyway?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

we are mordeth of borg..resistance is...expected

Typedef

resistance is...expected

only the first time baby

Big Chief

Originally posted by smiles
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml


<< Fio >>

actually a pretty funny site

cheers for bringing it to my attention... was funny how you can see what you used to be like in some of those rants aswell, oh well... live and learn and all that jazz

Havelock

On the topic of quanty to quality,

My Girl friend is younger than me, a pattern of mine, not due to anything else but that the women I date usally like older men. She is so incredably beautiful I can never look at her with out stopping for a breath. Intelligent, proably the most important think in a relationship, is an equal intellignence to allow communication. A musican and artist, creative and passionate. She is the first blond I have ever loved, the woman I want to marry and grow old with. She has eyes I can see into forever, a touch so soft i believe her a holy thing and a laugh so evil I some times think shes a demonette, but her smile shows it to be melodrama. She doesn't need to wear make up and doesn't. Smells nice, is warm to touch and has lovely cold hands. All women are special, you can't quantify, I tried for years, then Bang out of the Blue I met Liz. Nothing like I ever dreamed possible or had thought about and the more I learn about her, the more I love her.

sometimes just being you works.

Calibos

That last post was beautifull man!! I think...........I think........I'm going to cry:D

Do sensitive guys finish second last??:D

Hobbes

Corinthian/Phil/Smiles have the right idea.

However "Nice" doesn't mean the other person is an asshole. So don't confuse yourself by thinking you have to be a dickhead to get the girls.

If girl thinks your nice, I'd say just try elsewhere. They only way your going to get them is by manipulating them and it's not a way to have a relationship.

MrScruff

<quote>Stage One: Bait Her </quote>

This could be a dangerous bit of advice in cork...
"I was readin dis ting on the interweb like and i have to bait ya gurl, sorry bout that *WHACK*"


Feed 'em beans, keep em lean!:p

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Zascar
OK, why is this so true when it comes to women? The one thing that I am constantly told when I talking to female friends about my approach to women is that I am "Too Nice"! WHAT! All women talk about is how they "want to meet a nice guy..." I'm the nicest guy your gonna meet, and believe me its not true...

A lot of guys I know treat women like shiit and have little or no respect form them, and they get loads of women. I think the majority of women are Stupid! They go for exactly what they know they should not have. Ask 100 women to tell you about what they look for in a man, and then look at their past boyfriends, and I'm sure the results will be very different.

If I like a woman I can only be a gentleman and treat her with the utmost respect. I simply can't treat a woman 'badly' - apart from friendly slagging etc - but i'm fighting a loosing battle. Apparantly I cross the 'friendship line' far too quickly, and I have gained a lot of great female friends this way. Now I have enough friends - I want a girlfriend!

I would like to know what you guys (and girls) think about this... Why are (most) women like this, and how can I get around it?

ok,
from what i have seen theres two reasons to this conundrum.

women like getting chatted up. of course they do. it natural to have your ego stroked gently by some good looking fella telling you nice things.
anyone can chat up a women. they dont bite (unless asked usually) even blokes who think they cant. its a confidence issue. some of the most beautiful women i have met have problems meeting guys, becuase nice guys dont chat them up, and they are too shy as well.
so only the cocky good looking wánker that they want to avoid chats them up. hes nice for a while, but then his cocky nature kicks into effect, and the women are turned of by it now, and so he becomes 'bástard boy' and everyone thinks that women only want to go out with him because thats what he is.

'nice guys' dont tend to chat up women. theres a reason they are 'nice' its because they tend to get walked over. women dont really like people they can walk over.
or at least, if you hook up with one who is like that, you probably wont want to go out with her!
thing is, women like a man with confidence
the problem is finding a man with self confidence in himsef that doesnt spill over into some osrt of bástard boy persona.

also, women like a bit of excitment.
you may be mr nice, but if you are mr boring as well, then you have trouble. after all, youd get bored with some bird who just wants to watch neighbours followed by corry, followed by east enders, followed by some other soap opera.

women really arent that different from men at the end of the day.
just remember, that she could be just as shy or nervous as you, and god knows, women have as bad taste in men, as men do in women!

BrianD3

If women would be a bit more honest about the whole thing it would be a big help. As in - come straight out and say how much they like good looking, arrogant, macho, charismatic bad boys because they're sexy and fun and how it doesn't really matter if the guys are abusive jerks who beat them every so often

Has anyone actually heard a woman say this EVER? (in real life) No - women pretend they like nice guys, but they say one thing and mean another. They can only be judged on their actions and nothing they say can be taken at face value. They claim that they like guys who respect them but they usually end up dating arrogant abusive pricks - then they go and moan to anyone who will listen (usually a nice guy ironically) about how men are bastards blah blah blah.

I don't know if I agree with the poster who said women are stupid - I think they're clever in a way because they're devious manipulators who are experts at mind games.

Women like to keep guys guessing. If guys don't know what women want and aren't experts on the "rules" of the dating game, then that gives women more power. And of course, there are no set rules women just make them up as they go along. That's my theory anyway. And here's a webpage of a guy with similar views:

http://www.angelfire.com/ak5/womensuck/index2.html


BrianD3

Emboss

See the thing here is women and this is why they can be very hard to understand they do want the "good looking, arrogant, macho, charismatic bad boy" but as soon as they get him they try and change him, so OTHER women won't want him because she's after turning him into an alter boy with no life never goes out with the lads so he can't even meet/talk to other women. women know there stuff don't be fooled by the twinkle in the eye and the cheap smile she's EVIL

DriftingRain

I agree with Seraphina. I want a nice guy but I want him to have that agressive nature that make a man a man and a hunk. I like the spunky attitude that a man will protect his woman at all costs. maybe the nice guys always finish first in the long run...And the mean ones just don't realize it...

PatLam

Although I am one myself, I never understood women. It's a life full of contradictions and I can't stand these wicked minds.
The words "you're too nice" are merely an excuse because they don't like you. And it's very hard to please them anyway. So let it be. There are girls that like nice guys, and you can't be too nice for the right one.
I believe that the feminine world is a world of hypocrisy. I managed for my part to stay myself and tell the guy in front of me what the real reason is for saying no. I never told a guy he was too nice, because it's nonsense. You have to be nice on the first dates, because I can't imagine a girl saying yes to the bullying guy....

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by PatLam
You have to be nice on the first dates, because I can't imagine a girl saying yes to the bullying guy....

i reckon thats a big problem in itself.

i mean, if someone is not nice, then why pretned to be on a first date. straight away you are giving the wrong impression to someone on purpose, and you will revert back to being who ever you are anyway.

and im not sure i agree with DR about what makes a man a man and a hunk. well, i do. but i dont. i think again, its about what someone is brought up to believe a man should be. if you are brought up that men dont cry, will stand up and be counted and should swagger when they walk, marry john wayne by all means. but if youa re brought up thinking that cooking, and sharing housework and enjoying hugs and doing things together is important, then go for hugh grant.
now all you got to do is find someone with the looks that you like, and youre away!

real easy eh?!

Memnoch

From my experience I think its a very variable thing. To tell you the truth different women look for differnt things in men, both emotionally as well as physically.

I used to be a self professed nice guy myself once. To be honest that bitches-international article hit true on many occasions. I was completely lacking in self-confidence, I was always thinking about how the object of my desires could be going out with some prick when no one could be as nice to her as I could be or would treat her as nicely as I wanted to treat her etc etc etc.

The truth is however that a lot of us "nice" guys aren't really "NICE". We're just 'nice' in the sense that we will do whatever we think will please the woman and get her to like us. But the reason that we are doing it is not because we are nice guys, but because basically we want a girlfriend. The snag is that women see RIGHT THROUGH this. They may not even do it consciously but trust me they do. They can tell when someone is doing something because its genuinly in their nature or because their trying to impress, or because they think its what will make them successful with women. Thats the crux of the problem really. Most 'nice' guys are actually just desperate. And yes I'm speaking from experience here.
I did it all, I used to hold open doors, pull out chairs etc., say all the cheap cheesy romantic things that I know now I didn't really mean etc etc. Most nice guys also end up talking about how they are looking for the perfect woman on the first date. Often ur gonna end up scaring the poor girl off like that.
Yet time after time after time I failed. All the girls I knew wanted to be "just friends", and I was constantly under the impression that it wasn't my fault (well it wasn't really but it was too if u know what I mean).
The biggest problem with "nice" guys is that they try TOO hard. And the truth is that this whole being "nice" is part of that too. Its a self defeating kind of dishonesty really, and at the end of the day its actually not even nice.

So anyways forgive the rambling, as u can probably tell from my post my story has a happy ending. Eventually I just got sick of it all, and just gave up, I stopped TRYING to get a girlfriend. I just hung out with my friends, jammed, wrote poetry or whatever, attended uni, and was actually starting to enjoy being single. And strangely enough thats when I met her and we've been together over three years now and will prolly end up staying together permenantly. She's extremely intelligent, very pretty, has a great body, is wonderful in bed, has a ravenous sexual apetite, hell she even cooks! At first I was shocked why a girl so perfect as this would want to go out with me. I guess there is a lot of the whole confidence thing involved.

Anyways 3 years down the line there have been times where people say I'm a bastard and don't always treat her right etc. But a lot of them I know are just jealous, guys who fancy her but know she wants me. I mean sure I yell at her sometimes, but then sometimes she yells at me. We can both be unreasonable from time to time, and sometimes I'm the first to appologise, sometimes its her, thats why its called relationship.
A lot of "nice" guys feel that they have to treat a woman with kid's gloves. Thats not the truth, and as cliche'd and cheesy as this may sound, the best thing to do is just be yourself.

Also I agree with the poster above who said that if a woman tells you that you're too nice, thats basically woman lingo for she doesn't fancy you because of xyz but doesn't have the guts to tell you to your face.

I find it ironic that some people say I'm a bastard, and that my gf is going out with a bastard when she would be so much better off going out with a nice guy who treats her as she "deserves" (prolly someone like THEM). Strangely enough my gf doesn't think so.

Last thing i'll say in this overly long (almost self-gratifying I know sorry) rant is that you shouldn't confuse confidence with bastardedness ( yes i know its not a word). And at the end of the day what most "nice" guys lack, is simply confidence, they try to be 'nice' because they assume that no one will like them for who they really are.

P.S. yes I can't spell worth **** and no I don't give a **** about not being able to spell to save my life, and no I can't be arsed using a spell checker :P

PatLam

Memnoch, you ain't a bastard..I know what you must have felt or must feel sometimes..
I think man and woman have theright to be upset sometimes, a man can get rough but a woman too. That's the way a relationship goes, a real one I mean. My friends often say that my boyfriend shouldn't yell at me, but they say it's ok when I yell at him..Feminine nonsense. You have to fight sometimes, to get rid of inner angers or fears. I mean fight with words, not hitting eachother. And that's good, it represents love: caring for someone and acccepting a different point of view, even if a row starts about it.
My boyfriend and I are together since 5 years, while other friends, whose relationships were candlylike, lose their love after 1 month....
So a guy must be nice, can be aggressive and should above all be himself. And not wait. The right one will show up one day, when you have fun, are relaxed and don't bother. Worries, when shown too directly, can turn off someone.So, let your worries home, have fun AND DON'T WAIT OR SEARCH (that's for the guy who started this thread)

Mercury_Tilt

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