Treat 'em Mean & Keep 'em Keen!

Zascar

OK, why is this so true when it comes to women? The one thing that I am constantly told when I talking to female friends about my approach to women is that I am "Too Nice"! WHAT! All women talk about is how they "want to meet a nice guy..." I'm the nicest guy your gonna meet, and believe me its not true...

A lot of guys I know treat women like shiit and have little or no respect form them, and they get loads of women. I think the majority of women are Stupid! They go for exactly what they know they should not have. Ask 100 women to tell you about what they look for in a man, and then look at their past boyfriends, and I'm sure the results will be very different.

If I like a woman I can only be a gentleman and treat her with the utmost respect. I simply can't treat a woman 'badly' - apart from friendly slagging etc - but i'm fighting a loosing battle. Apparantly I cross the 'friendship line' far too quickly, and I have gained a lot of great female friends this way. Now I have enough friends - I want a girlfriend!

I would like to know what you guys (and girls) think about this... Why are (most) women like this, and how can I get around it?

Kai

Its a sad fact that nice guys/gals finish last. The more i think about it i quite enjoy being a bástard, not nessesarily to women but if i thought it would help i would, but in general its better to watch out for yourself first. make yourself happy and never mind all the PC stuff about being a nice guy.

Then again what do i know........................as much as everyone else

Seraphina

tbh, you're chasing the wrong, stupid kind of women. like in the other thread, guys bitching about women being snobs and only being after money.
ffs you'd think they'd be able to spot it a mile off at this stage.:rolleyes:

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

no one wants a nice guy as a boyfriend, you'll just end up losing him

another fine example of female logic at work...

you're chasing the wrong, stupid kind of women.

well you just said yourself that no one wants a nice guy as a boyfriend, so what does it matter *who* they chase, if the end result will be the same?

Seraphina

i edited it, it made no sense! i dont know what it is, could be something to do with wanting you to be agressive and dominant and testosteroney and stuff.

dont listen to me, what do i know

/me wanders off

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

women rarely do, but at least all the gents out there can see the final and beautiful truth captured for eternity in my post

Seraphina

you mean my stupidity?
hehe
male and female pysche's work in different ways
there's just more bitching and moaning about women coz there are so many more men on boards.
you'd hear all about how men are so contrary too if there were more women...

Havelock

I know, the fact is I have discovered it is not the bastard that they seek, its the aggression (its what women subconsiously think as of masculine). It also transends the sexual boundry, in socity today, women want it, all of it, now! They think that well mannered men will be to shy or not sexually forward enought, while the loud boastful bastard, while what hes says may not be true, he will generally try to prove he can do what he says.

Unfortuantly for women, what most don't realise, its a lot like the quiet woman "type", (they are the most sexually aggressive of women and adventerous) the same is to be said of the gentleman. I use manners and kindness to show that sexual gratification is not all I seek, but the message is to subtle foe some women, or they are not in on the secret.

DrummerBoy

Originally posted by Havelock
I use manners and kindness to show that sexual gratification is not all I seek, but the message is to subtle foe some women, or they are not in on the secret.

Personally I think that that is the statement of the year. I'd be telling a lie if I were to say that those very words will not be appearing on the tip of my tongue in the very near future!

Mac daddy

Nice guys finish last, your better of being a prik instead of a pussy who opens up doors for them buying them drinks, and still not getting a ride out of them, threat them mean keep them mean!!!!!!hahahahhhahahhahahhahhaha:ninja:

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

em yes, great advice. unfortunately it doesn't hold true when "getting pussy" isn't at the forefront of your goals..


oh, and I think you got the quote just a lil bit wrong there..
or else you were trying to be funny, and failed miserably

Evil Phil

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

hehe

Doodee

I think it’s the biggest load of cack!

Why treat women/men unfairly, If your keen for a guy, and the guys keen for you, there’s no point in messing with them, fact is that I'd never want someone who would go messing with me deliberately, and if I found out I'd sure as hell kick them to the curb, there’s nothing worse that having to keep thinking about someone and the way they are treating you. Maybe other guys like it, I’m not sure, but I know sure as hell that I don’t.

Nice guys finish last? My bollocks, as long as your genuine then I don’t think that people will take advantage of you, and if your stupid enough to not notice, then your just set to get hurt.

Also, just because men are mannerly and nice, doesn’t mean that they aren’t testy, allot of guys I know are unbelievably nice when it comes to women, but if someone challenges them, they are a complete different shade of red.

Treat em mean to keep em keen? You’ve been watching too much Sex in the city!

ferdi

you always see hot girls with these stupid knacker oafs, girls dig the bad boy image and i do think that nice guys finish last, i agree with Doodee, it is total bollix, people just p!ss eachother about all the time but this is "romance" without it it wud be too easy. its very upsetting,

i need to learn how to treat women like sh!t, any tips?

thedrowner

definately true for me anyway

i guess i like to feel in control, if anything goes wrong in the relaitonship, i don't want to be the one to suffer from it...i'd prefer to be the one doing the dumping or the giving out....being on the receiving end means a lot more hurt...so if i suspect that the boat is being rocked i'm likely to try and get the relationship back to normal, so i can try and get 'the power' back. that seems to hold true for me in relationships that aren't really serious though.

that sounds really scary reading back over it

ah well, im being honest

also there's the whole confidence thing, it hasn't happenned to me, but i've seen a few relationships of my friends, usually their first serious ones, which started off great then when they went through rocky patches, the guys thought they could get away with anything, and they could because at this stage, the girls were so in love with them that they wouldn't say...'hang on...you're out of order' they'd stop and think...'well....maybe he's in the right' even though it was obvious to outsiders what was going on.

and also, i don't see this is guys so much, but i know some girls who are just terrified of being alone, and will put up with ANYTHING, just to stay in a relationsip. sad.

CuLT

yeh, i disagree with this "nice guys finish last" policy. Unfortunately its the way of the world .

I reckon where as nice guys don't get the quantity, in the end we/they get the quality relationships .

Doodee

cult, u hit the nail on the head

Zascar

Yes I would agree, but the quantiry is sometimes not high enough. Does anyone here admit to being 'good' at being bastards, and want to give us nice guys any tips?

LegacyUser

I think alot of ye are missing the balls of the situation...

It isn't that women want a man to treat them badly, or that they fall for the wrong kind of fella, they just want a bit of excitement.

They don't want to get stuck with some lad who possesses all the charms and nicities in the world but is completely lacking in any, what they view as, desireable qualities.

Like humour, impulsiveness, or even mild aggression.


Noone wants to get stuck with a priest, tea merchant or box salesman... unless they're going thru a midlife crisis or are themselves attending a nunnery.

Someone who's lively, funny and takes a few risks is by far the more likely choice.


They want fun, not drippy boring lads.


But ideally they want someone who is sound, decent, even nice, along with all these other things...

Sangre

Originally posted by chewwwwwwy


Like humour, impulsiveness, or even mild aggression.

I would have never thought of humour as a qaulities of the bástards..

Doodee

neither would i sangre.

yea, i fully understand about women wanting some1 who isnt boring, but all im saying is this stupid idea of treating them mean to keep em keen.

theres some rules that were explained in another thread, like not txting them for a while, or taking alot of time to txt them, and other stuff like canceling on them last minute.

I wouldnt agree to that, cause u'll only hurt the person and make them unwanted. I'd never cancel on some1 i made plans with unless i had something that was really really important, such as exams or bad news (like a friend going to hospital or needing advice or whatnot)

If you ask me, the whole KEMTKEK is considerably immature. It all stems down to what you want from the relationship, a long serious thing, or a couple o month long fling, in which case you should always let the person know, not string them along.

ferdi

lets hope your right there cult.

on the otherhand, sometimes we all like quantity and to hell with the quality, therefore zascar's question still stands - "Does anyone here admit to being 'good' at being bastards, and want to give us nice guys any tips?"

sisob

I haven't read most of this thread but i will say this:

Nice guys will end up with a nice wife and kids and a fulfilling
relationship.

"Mean" guys end up having loads of short lived sexual relationships.

Personally I'm the former and happy to stick to it..

Gordon

Yea, it seems that the older women get - the more they prefer these "nice guys". As their clocks tick on they want someone to help wind up their clocks as opposed to having people change the time on their clocks willy nilly (pun intended).

I was eyed by a friend of a friend because she saw me as a nice guy, she wanted to go out with me but I really didn't fancy anything with her because she wanted a "nice guy" (well that wasn't the only reason). Women that want nice guys end up wanting to settle down and have children I find, not that that's a bad thing of course.

In the end, if you are worried about women not going for you - your special somebody will go for you. It's all a matter of time.

Gavin

There's a difference between being a nice guy and being a schmuck. Nice guys that aren't as thick as pigshit in a bottle wil do better, obviously enough, than guys that are nice but boring. As aul chewwwy says above.

Don't talk to the bird about how you managed to raise your clock multiplier to 10. Save that gem for a while.

Gav

Mind you, I haven't picked up a bird in years.

FreaK_BrutheR

I'm mostly a bastard.... oh the stories i could tell but hey **** all y'all i ain't giving no tips to you bunch of pansy ass plink plonks.

The Corinthian

Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance. The former is an admirable trait in either a man or woman, the latter is just asking for trouble. The illusion that nice guys don’t like get the girl, is more often due to people confusing confidant guys and bastards - most notably women (more correctly girls) doing so, themselves.

The same goes for the confusion between nice and shy guys. Some of these guys aren’t nice - they’re just creepy - they’re not out womanising on the weekend because they’re curb crawling or downloading child p0rn instead.

So, let’s just identify what the issues are, not romanticize our inadequacies. Perhaps that girl left you for that other guy because you were a boring, self-obsessed little smear of self-pity and he was fun and confident enough to consider her passions rather than his own. You’ve only yourself to blame, and frankly, natural selection.

I’m not saying that there’s no such thing as nice guys and bastards, just that the question is not as black and white as some of the self-professed nice guys would like to believe.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Zascar

I think the majority of women are Stupid!

first you say this

If I like a woman I can only be a gentleman and treat her with the utmost respect

and then you say that -
bullsh*t! I don't believe you

I'm not sure you will ever find a girlfriend when you can say that you think most of us are stupid
most women are smart enough to see through your facade, pretending to be a gentleman is not the same as actually being one....

Doodee

Too true Corrie. treat your woman as a lady when in public, and she will be anything but a lady when she gets you alone.

You dont need to be a bastard unless its called for. and you dont have to show your masculinity unless it is questioned/threatened in some way.

Nice Guys.

It goes both ways though, if your lady treats u like an inferior all the time, then she isnt really worried to much about your feelings and visa versa.

Nature dictates over anyones personality when its called for, and yes, women do appreciate the who masculinity when you do show it, its simply that they look for healthy children, its seen in most species!


gah, im confusing myself now, Bloody Java!
err... **** it I'll quote Oscar Wilde

Treat every woman as if you loved them, and every man as if he bored you!

Puck

A lot of guys try to be nice but end up being creepy and smothering. The reason is because they try too hard. They spend an evening constantly smiling at the woman, asking her if she's ok , would she like another drink, pulling out chairs and opening doors for her. That's too much. It's hard for anyone to relax and enjoy themselves if the person they are with is constantly worrying and trying to impress them with how nice they are. It's not going to be an enjoyable evening for the woman if the only conversation is "thank you", "no thanks" and "I'm fine, thanks".

You're nice to your friends when you just hang out with them right? The difference with them though is that you relax and have fun. You're not always worrying about how they are and trying to make them feel more comfortable.

If you want to be a gentleman save the chair pulling and door opening for formal occasions if you want. If you do that on a night out in the pub you'd embarrass anyone. Just relax and try to enjoy yourself and you'll set a nice comfortable mood.

This post made a lot more sense in my head tbh.

Seraphina

no it makes perfect sense actually..

why can i never make sense like this?

Puck

Finally made sense in a longish post!

Success! \o/

CuLT

Makes sense to me too Puck , I agree with yah, thats can be a problem, Lord knows it was for me a couple of times...

pickarooney

You have to be a bit of a challenge to a woman, she has to be able to wear you down a bit, rein you in, tame you.
Just like a woman has to be a challenge for you. You woldn't appreciate a woman who'd jsut walk up to you, tits out and ask you to shag her, would you? Would you?

Kell

Originally posted by CuLT
Makes sense to me too Puck , I agree with yah, thats can be a problem, Lord knows it was for me a couple of times...

What happens if the individual is one of the old style types that naturally holds doors open, makes sure that you are OK and also buys you drink all night? There are people (myself included) that do stuff like that without trying to impress, it's just the way we are. Granted, this has been taken advantage of in the past, but rather than get bitter and say "fúck all you's bítches, I am gonna treat you mean in future" I am confident enough in myself to continue on the way I have always done, because at the end of the day it works for some and not for others and if you throw enough shít at a wall, some of it is going to stick.

I think that being a deliberate bastard/bítch to someone is appalling. It's manipulative and essentially dishonest to that person. I for one cant find it in myself to be dishonest to anyone and in terms of chatting up someone, or even dating someone I think honesty wins out in the end.

You wouldn't appreciate a woman who'd just walk up to you, tits out and ask you to shag her, would you? Would you?

I'd appreciate her honesty (and prolly her tits if they were nice)

K-

Typedef

Originally posted by Kell
You wouldn't appreciate a woman who'd just walk up to you, tits out and ask you to shag her, would you? Would you?

I'd appreciate her honesty (and prolly her tits if they were nice)

K-

Use and abuse.

Party on Wayne.
Party on Garth.

I think all this touchy feely nice guy stuff has gone too far and men have lost touch with their inner bastards, our natural state of being.

All this cal-toing to feminist imposed guilt must end.... since the feminist's female brethern.. the gold digger is well wise to well meaning men.

In war : It's them or us.

Kell

Originally posted by Typedef
.. the gold digger is well wise to well meaning men.

As saturday night clearly showed. Didn't think my wallet looked that flush to said gold diggers. Bah, women and their wily ways. We'll know better in future.

K_

PS: What movie is that quote in your sig from? It's gonna bug me now.

Just remembered. Silence of the lambs. Hopkins to kidnapped girls mother in plane hanger.

Typedef

Wouldn't you like to know....

Clarice

smiles

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

Right read any / all of the comments / articles on that page.

Women don't want nice guys cause nice guys are pushovers/idiots/boring.

<< Fio >>

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

i think every group should have a token "Nice guy", someone for the other lads to punch and harass when they around women so they don't seem "Nice" or "boring". it benefits everybody, except nice people...but as we've already pointed out, no one gives a toss about them eejits

Typedef

Originally posted by smiles
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

<< Fio >>

That site
All too often we hear self-professed "Nice Guys" complaining about why they can't get a date, and whining that women just want to date jerks, etc. etc. The truth of the matter is that there are genuinely caring, compassionate, decent, fun guys out there who have NO TROUBLE meeting people, getting dates, and having relationships.

Unfortunately, many of the guys who DO have trouble, insist on laying blame and asserting that women don't want them because they are too "Nice". These people who call themselves "Nice Guys" can't see that THEIR OWN behavior is the problem. Whether it is targetting women who are troubled to begin with, or acting in a manipulative, patronizing or obsequious fashion, these guys sabotage themselves and blame others for their misfortunes.

Ha ha.

Good one.

Note : Women are the enemy.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Note : Women are the enemy.

... people need to be told this? I thought we were born with the knowledge

Zascar

Originally posted by Beruthiel
I think the majority of women are Stupid
first you say this
If I like a woman I can only be a gentleman and treat her with the utmost respect

and then you say that -
bullsh*t! I don't believe you
[/B]

Yeah, yeah, I knew someone would take it the wrong way, you can pick holes in anyone's argument that way but I think you get the overall message, I was just enphasing the point... I think that It Is stupid that way so many women go for diick heads when they know its not right for them... etc. etc.

thedoc-name given to a subscriber

Don't you ever wonder why you can't successfully pick up women? Well, we have the answers right here.

AskMen.com conducted an extensive survey with more than one hundred beautiful women. (what a hard job we had!) The purpose was to find out why women fall head over heals over one man more than another. Finally, we got the answer that we've all been anxiously waiting for; it all comes down to the chase. Apparently, women's perception of men depends on how the male goes about setting up the bait to trap women. This perception usually remains the same throughout the relationship. It is safe to say that most women we surveyed enjoy being chased, but get turned off quickly by the way men approach them. Men know how to initiate the chase, but can rarely close the deal successfully.

What your mothers forgot to teach you: "Intro to Women, Class 101". It is a known fact that men are mommy's little boys, and women are daddy's little princesses. The key word is princess. Women like to be cherished, respected, loved, and most of all, showered with attention. So that is what men should give women: attention.

The problem with most men is they think that in order to make sure their catch doesn't get away, they must constantly give women attention. Wrong! The reason that most women get bored in a relationship, or turned off by a new acquaintance, is that they get too much attention at once. Have you ever heard of the phrase "I need some breathing space please!"? Well, this phrase exists for a reason, yet most men ignore it, and continue giving their women their undeniable attention.

Wait a minute! You might ask, "Luis, you just said that women like a lot of attention, and now you are telling me too much is bad??" Yes, because the whole secret is to know when to give attention and when not to. I recommend a three-step method recommended by psychologist Dr. David Libstein. I've tried it and it works! The question now is, is it an ethical method? Well I always say, "What people don't know, won't hurt them."

The Three-Step Bait Method

Stage One: Bait Her

For a woman to know that you are interested, she must be aware of it. If she is not, then absolutely nothing will happen. You therefore have to take a risk. This is where the chase begins.

Pick the woman that you are interested in, wherever you may be. May I suggest that you choose your lady early and concentrate only on her the whole time you are there. If you start looking around too much, you will give her the impression that you are looking for anyone to sleep with. After you find her, begin by looking for body language signs, such as eye contact, a smile, hair touching, etc.

If you get these signs from her, you must move quickly. Most men just wait around eyeballing the lady the whole time. By the time they get the nerves to go talk to her, either someone else moved in, or she'll think you are some perverted stalker because you gawked too much.

Stage Two: Spoil Her With Attention

Okay, now you made your move. You initiated the conversation. Now how do you make sure you keep the conversation going, and ensure she remains interested? Spoil her with attention by asking her all types of questions regarding her life. No sex-related questions please. Instead, talk about her likes (music, food, drinks, restaurants), her education, movies, even the current awkward situation. The important thing is to not mention anything (no matter how tempting) about yourself, unless of course she asks you to. If she does, (this usually means she's interested) please remember to be brief and move the topic back to focus to her.

Offer to buy her a drink only once the conversation has gone on well for an extended period of time (at least ten minutes). Once the conversation deepens, it is okay to mention that you'd like to keep in contact with her, and ask for a phone number. The first phone call should be at least two days after the encounter. The conversation should revolve around how much fun you had with her, and how impressed you were with her personality. In other words, compliment her like crazy. Make sure that the first phone call does not last more than twenty minutes. It is crucial that you end the first phone call first. If she ends the conversation, the ball is in her court. The conversation should end with you inviting her out for a coffee.

On the first date, don't initiate a conversation about sexual topics, unless of course she does. The first date is a time to explore and find out a little more about each other. Do everything for her, but you don't necessarily have to agree with everything that she has to say. When she disagrees with your stance, accept it, and don't offer excuses either. Excuses make you look weak.

Stage Three: The Earthquake

Now that the little "princess" is comfortable, it's time to make the ground shake under her feet. The fact that we want to be accepted, liked, and needed is human nature. Once this need is fulfilled, we turn our attention towards stabilizing it. Just think back to when a friend told you that Mary was interested in you. You probably didn't think much of it at the time, but as soon as you found out that Mary liked someone else, you began wondering why she doesn't like you anymore, and you suddenly became interested in Mary. We always want what we can't have.

Well the same theory applies with women. It is time to take away all that attention from the little sweet princess. How? Simple, ask her to call you. When she does, speak to her and sound really interested, and have a longer conversation. Make her feel that you really like talking to her. End the conversation by politely letting her know that you have things to do, but let her know that you enjoyed talking to her and that you'll call her back. Don't tell her when you'll call her back. Let her wait for a while (around four to five days). She will wonder why you haven't called back, and eventually call you.

Now the ball is in your court. It is crucially important to sound very happy when she calls you, or else she won't call back. The secret to making this method work is that you confuse her. First you make her think that you are really interested in her. Second, you make her feel as if you are no longer interested. Then, repeat the process. What will eventually happen is that her need to be accepted will grow and she will focus her attention on you, to make sure you like her. Then her mind will wander, and she will think about why she is spending so much time thinking about you. Her subconscious mind will then reason that it must be because she cares about you.

It is a shame that people have to resort to such devious methods, but your alternative is to be a nice guy. We all know what happens to nice guys, right? They finish last. Why? Because the women they are with get bored and eventually leave.

Typedef

The other alternative to such contrived methodology is to become completely emotionless.

That way girls will always want you... and even if they don't ... what do you care anyway?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

we are mordeth of borg..resistance is...expected

Typedef

resistance is...expected

only the first time baby

Big Chief

Originally posted by smiles
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml


<< Fio >>

actually a pretty funny site

cheers for bringing it to my attention... was funny how you can see what you used to be like in some of those rants aswell, oh well... live and learn and all that jazz

Havelock

On the topic of quanty to quality,

My Girl friend is younger than me, a pattern of mine, not due to anything else but that the women I date usally like older men. She is so incredably beautiful I can never look at her with out stopping for a breath. Intelligent, proably the most important think in a relationship, is an equal intellignence to allow communication. A musican and artist, creative and passionate. She is the first blond I have ever loved, the woman I want to marry and grow old with. She has eyes I can see into forever, a touch so soft i believe her a holy thing and a laugh so evil I some times think shes a demonette, but her smile shows it to be melodrama. She doesn't need to wear make up and doesn't. Smells nice, is warm to touch and has lovely cold hands. All women are special, you can't quantify, I tried for years, then Bang out of the Blue I met Liz. Nothing like I ever dreamed possible or had thought about and the more I learn about her, the more I love her.

sometimes just being you works.

Calibos

That last post was beautifull man!! I think...........I think........I'm going to cry:D

Do sensitive guys finish second last??:D

Hobbes

Corinthian/Phil/Smiles have the right idea.

However "Nice" doesn't mean the other person is an asshole. So don't confuse yourself by thinking you have to be a dickhead to get the girls.

If girl thinks your nice, I'd say just try elsewhere. They only way your going to get them is by manipulating them and it's not a way to have a relationship.