Men and their.. insatiable lust

Vangelis

So I read this book by a couple of scientists. They say that men always want sex for the sake of ensuring the next generation. Or sometimes plain self-satisfaction. And they can have sex with ANYBODY just because it is a biological urge. Why do I know men who are not like this then? Idiotic "scientists" say it's true with this arguement: "Because we say so!" BLAH! *makes vomit noise*

Should girls feel that they are used or should they "bear with" them and understand that they have an insatiable sexual appetite?

I hope my irritation isn't too strong for the mods.

Zombrex

Vangelis wrote:

So I read this book by a couple of scientists. They say that men always want sex for the sake of ensuring the next generation. Or sometimes plain self-satisfaction. And they can have sex with ANYBODY just because it is a biological urge. Why do I know men who are not like this then? Idiotic "scientists" say it's true with this arguement: "Because we say so!" BLAH! *makes vomit noise*

Should girls feel that they are used or should they "bear with" them and understand that they have an insatiable sexual appetite?

I hope my irritation isn't too strong for the mods.

Women need to realise (an I am not necessaryily directing this at you), that men can like sex, want to have sex with someone and also like the person (SHOCK HORROR!!)

TBH I am sick to death of women saying "Sure you just want me for sex" or "Is sex all you think about?"

Of course we want you for sex!! But that doesn't mean I don't want you for other things as well (food preperation being one ... joking!)

I realise women are worried about being "used." But just because a guy wants to hump you all the time doesn't mean he also doesn't care about you, respect you etc etc. He just likes sex. Men like sex irrationally, we like more than it actually makes us feel good. Women's orgasims are a million times better than mens (when was the last time you saw a man having an orgasim over and over for 20 minutes ... maybe Sting, but thats it), yet they seem to never want sex. A man will have an orgasim with his hand in a dirty public toliet... and then do it again an hour later. We just want sex.

The problem in relationships is men and women have different ideas of what is too much sex. So if a woman feels the guy is always on about sex she thinks that is all he thinks about.

It reminds me of the scene in a Woody Allen movie (forget which one) where Woody and his partner are, in turn, talking to a relationship expert. Woody says "She never wants to have sex, only about once a week!" and it cuts to his girlfriend saying "He wants sex all the time, at least once a week!".

So in a situation like that the girl thinks this guy wants sex all the time, so is that the only thing he wants to do? Doesn't he respect me for me? Where as the guy feels "how can she think that!! We never have sex!

Anyway, my little rant ...

CathyMoran

I do not feel that only men have high libidos, a lot of women do also - not all men have high libidos just like not all women have high libidos. Sure, you can rationalise it out that women are left holding the baby but safe sex and contraception has left a lot of that in the past. My little rant, sorry.

Dimitri

CathyMoran wrote:

I do not feel that only men have high libidos, a lot of women do also - not all men have high libidos just like not all women have high libidos. Sure, you can rationalise it out that women are left holding the baby but safe sex and contraception has left a lot of that in the past. My little rant, sorry.

Women with high libido's are definetely harder to come by than men with - Mans perspective.

akindoc

Vangelis wrote:

So I read this book by a couple of scientists. They say that men always want sex for the sake of ensuring the next generation. Or sometimes plain self-satisfaction. And they can have sex with ANYBODY just because it is a biological urge. Why do I know men who are not like this then? Idiotic "scientists" say it's true with this arguement: "Because we say so!" BLAH! *makes vomit noise*

Should girls feel that they are used or should they "bear with" them and understand that they have an insatiable sexual appetite?

I hope my irritation isn't too strong for the mods.

please read the selfish gene by richard dawkins

simu

Vangelis wrote:

So I read this book by a couple of scientists. They say that men always want sex for the sake of ensuring the next generation. Or sometimes plain self-satisfaction. And they can have sex with ANYBODY just because it is a biological urge. Why do I know men who are not like this then? Idiotic "scientists" say it's true with this arguement: "Because we say so!" BLAH! *makes vomit noise*

Should girls feel that they are used or should they "bear with" them and understand that they have an insatiable sexual appetite?

I hope my irritation isn't too strong for the mods.

What scientists are these - provide linkage. An article from the latest edition of Cosmo doesn't count. Lollers!

Should girls feel that they are used or should they "bear with" them and understand that they have an insatiable sexual appetite?

I always find it odd when I hear these types of comments, because its there weirdest type of sociolgical programming I've seen. Women's bodies provide them with an instrument that's capable to experiencing an extreme amount of pleasure. Some might call it infinite. Their bodies are more aware of sensitivity, and are more responsive to touch & taste than mens.

And yet it is the men who are unlikly to last more than three-four pleasure moments, before we need a rest.

And women have an insatiable sexual appetite, its just that society and their mothers have taught them to be ashamed of expressing that desire. A modern woman that knows herself is someone that is aware of her sexual desires and is capable/willing to sieze those chances.

Blaming men for their desires, is just another way that many traditional feminists use to keep women from experiencing true pleasure.

Zombrex

Deleted User wrote:

Blaming men for their desires, is just another way that many traditional feminists use to keep women from experiencing true pleasure.

Traditional Feminists? Isn't than an oxymoron?

Traditional Feminists? Isn't than an oxymoron?

I tend to look upon two camps of feminists. Those that have very old fashioned feminist opinions of where a womans place should be and those that have a much more free viewpoint. This is just a personal viewpoint.

Saruman

As a man i can honestly say i do not have sex on the brain as much as scientists say. very rarely actually. I went years until i had sex for the first time in my early 20's.

I doubt im alone.
What you probably read was some scientists saying that some men, maybe even a high percentage find it hard to be faithful and stick with one person because genetically and instinctually men are programmed to mate with as many women as possible to further the human race and their own genes.

THAT is true and cant be denied. we are animals after all, only far more evolved and every single organism on this planet, right down to bacteria level have the same instinct. In mamals its males that are more programmed this way.

You can also flip it around and say some, a lot, most etc women are programmed to have as many babies as possible which is why there are so many women out there that just have child after child even with abusive partners. If they dont get it from him then she goes elsewhere and is unfaithful.

I would say most people are beyond that but a lot are still run by instincts.

Zombrex

Deleted User wrote:

Those that have very old fashioned feminist opinions of where a womans place should be

Thats not feminism, the whole point of feminism is that women shouldn't have a "place"

Anyway, getting off topic ...

Vangelis

simu wrote:

What scientists are these - provide linkage. An article from the latest edition of Cosmo doesn't count. Lollers!

I have NO LINK. But the book is called "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps", by Allan and Barbara Pease. And the cream of it all is that I can actually read maps!! I love maps! So according to statistics in this book, I am more """""likely""""" to be a lesbian. BLAH! I am as heterosexual as a mellow banana is yellow!!!!!! :mad:

*runs about like a maniac*

And akindoc, I have read that book. Read my lips: It sucks! Saying that we're all selfish and calling it science! No matter if you have a PhD from Oxford or not, this doesn't make that Dawkins anything more than a megalomanic monkey.

simu

Vangelis wrote:

I have NO LINK. But the book is called "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps", by Allan and Barbara Pease. And the cream of it all is that I can actually read maps!! I love maps! So according to statistics in this book, I am more """""likely""""" to be a lesbian. BLAH! I am as heterosexual as a mellow banana is yellow!!!!!! :mad:

*runs about like a maniac*

Ah, there's a lot of money to be made on idiotic "self-help" books like that you know. Don't take them seriously or let them annoy you. I'm a woman too and I can do a whole load of stuff I shouldn't be able to if these things were true!

Tar.Aldarion

My lust is insatiable...sigh....
If a man gets turned on in his body,his mind also gets turned on.If he gets turned on in his min,his body also gets turned on.
This is not the case for women.The mind and body can be oblivious to each other.They see something really hot and recognise in their mind that it is so.For a man,his body would react, without him having to get it to in his mind.
Most men get turned on more than women and it is just crazy as a teenager...when was I not aroused?????
Simply put,body and mind are as one for men and this is not so for women.We,for the most part,get turned on more often because of this and frankly we always want sex.

Vangelis

simu wrote:

Ah, there's a lot of money to be made on idiotic "self-help" books like that you know. Don't take them seriously or let them annoy you. I'm a woman too and I can do a whole load of stuff I shouldn't be able to if these things were true!

But it's provocative that people like this are allowed to publish such lies...
*weeps like a baby* Btw, I didn't know that you were a woman, simu. That's nice!

Pigman II

Vangelis wrote:

And they can have sex with ANYBODY just because it is a biological urge. .

We don't want to have sex with just 'ANYBODY'. But we (imho) DO want to have sex with a 'lot of bodies' rather than just one.

For an example Ask a man to make a list of the 10 hottest women he's ever known (that he's never slept with!) and then rank them 1 to 10.

Now ask him would he rather have (a) sex 9 times with his #1 choice or (b) have sex 1time each with his #2 to #10 choices. I would propose that (b) will the more popular answer even tho in that scenario he never gets a go with his #1 choice.

Our monogamous society in this regard favours women because I believe that most women given that test would prefer to get 'the best man' ie their own #1 rather than their own #2 - #10 all at once.

So however despite the same amount of sex (more or less eg 9times*1person vs 1time*9people) going on for both sexes men get the rep as the 'sex mad' one because (in this hypothetical example) they have to initiate 9 seperate proposals for the womans 1.

Seraphina

Deleted User wrote:

I always find it odd when I hear these types of comments, because its there weirdest type of sociolgical programming I've seen. Women's bodies provide them with an instrument that's capable to experiencing an extreme amount of pleasure. Some might call it infinite. Their bodies are more aware of sensitivity, and are more responsive to touch & taste than mens.

SOME women. some women go through life never enjoying sex. alot of women have to "bear with" it because many guys dont know how or aren't bothered pleasuring them.

i dunno i know its just genes, but it does bother me to a certain extent because i know that any guy i am ever with will at the same time be wishing he could be with a bunch of other women. you never feel good enough, knowing that despite the fact that you might be number 1, he'd still rather be having sex with number's 2 to 10 if he could.

i know its just society and all that, but at the same time, women who go with their urges are called sluts. its those double standards again!

simu

Vangelis wrote:

But it's provocative that people like this are allowed to publish such lies...

Market rules - publishers are there to make money, for the most part!

Btw, I didn't know that you were a woman, simu. That's nice!

...it's grand o_O

robindch

> Idiotic "scientists" say it's true with this arguement:
> "Because we say so!" BLAH! *makes vomit noise*

Ooops-a-daisy -- be careful -- you're mixing up priests with scientists there!

> Should girls feel that they are used or should they
> "bear with" them and understand that they have an
> insatiable sexual appetite?

Most people I know (girls and guys) once they've heated themselves up enough to get to a bedroom with somebody else, do have a fairly similar levels of libido, though it does vary with the person, their mood, etc, etc, -- there's nothing weird or strange about this.

If you feel that you're being used by your other half who wants more sex than you do, then dump 'em and go find somebody you're compatible with!

[Wicknight -- I like that Allen quote ]

Zombrex

Seraphina wrote:

knowing that despite the fact that you might be number 1, he'd still rather be having sex with number's 2 to 10 if he could.

Think you are over analysising this a little too much

I mean, wouldn't you rather be with Robbie Williams or Brad Pitt? But you aren't, you are with your boyfriend. Does that mean you don't actually like him, you are just putting up with him until Robbie becomes available? No of course not, and the same with your boyfriend

Seraphina

Seraphina wrote:

SOME women. some women go through life never enjoying sex. alot of women have to "bear with" it because many guys dont know how or aren't bothered pleasuring them.

The majority of women out there have the capacity to feel pleasure beyond that of men with the exception of those with medical conditions. In many instances, the occasions you refer to where men don't know how or aren't bothered are because many women believe its morally wrong to enjoy sex, or to help their partners during sex. Alot of this is tied to Religious education received as children, or the conditioning received from parents.

You can blame men if you want, but I've met a fair number of women who are afraid of expressing their opinions or desires when it comes to sex. Yes, some men don't care, but the majority want more than humping a corpse. I certainly want to know what a woman finds pleasureable.

i know its just society and all that, but at the same time, women who go with their urges are called sluts. its those double standards again!

Its interesting to note, that its mostly other women (from my experience, at least) that will judge you as being a slut for that action. Most (not all) men won't judge a woman beyond the types of people she sleeps with.

I've slept with roughly 30 women in 28 years, and no long term relationships. Would that be slutty behaviour if I was a woman?

AARRRGH

Vangelis wrote:

Why do I know men who are not like this then?

Because they're cheating themselves.

My girlfriend was recently in Tahiti and the islands around it. She said the men were unbelievable - women were just holes. The men could not understand why she and her friends did not want to **** them. The men were always trying to have sex with everybody. The locals put up with it.

Now, some might say it is because Tahiti etc. is a bit ****ed (it is a bit ****ed), but I actually think it is us who are ****ed.

Naturally we are supposed to be going around having sex, fighting, killing each other (like in lawless parts of Africa.) But we have created a society to keep our "dangerous" instincts in check - violence and sex. It's not natural.

So naturally, yes, I think men just want a hole.

Vangelis

Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Fortunately, your opinion is not everybody else's, dublindude. I knew you would respond to this thread because you usually do when it has got to do with sex.

You think all men want a hole because you are only inside your own mind.
It is not all men who want a hole, but you. Obviously you only know yourself - we all do.

AARRRGH

Vangelis wrote:

Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Fortunately, your opinion is not everybody else's, dublindude. I knew you would respond to this thread because you usually do when it has got to do with sex.

You think all men want a hole because you are only inside your own mind.
It is not all men who want a hole, but you. Obviously you only know yourself - we all do.

Not true. I'm pretty sure most men in the world are like me. I'm just honest.

And you'll find I comment on a lot of things, not just sex issues. In fact, I rarely comment on sex issues.

Also, and I'm not trying to be offensive here, the boards.ie guys are highly nerdy...

Vangelis

dublindude wrote:

Not true. I'm pretty sure most men in the world are like me.

Rhethorical question: Need I say more.. :rolleyes:

AARRRGH

Vangelis wrote:

Rhethorical question: Need I say more.. :rolleyes:

???

Good answer! :rolleyes:

lazydaisy

Actually feminists have long encouraged women to take pleasure into their own hands so to speak.;) Freedom starts with the body so the body became a political locus for feminists.

Womens sexuality is connected to cycles where as men have a necessity to unload because their bodies just keep making more sperm.

Dublin dude? If you only want a hole as you say what are you doing with a girlfriend?

AARRRGH

lazydaisy wrote:

Dublin dude? If you only want a hole as you say what are you doing with a girlfriend?

Sorry, I should have said single men (we have a tendency to calm down once we have a girlfriend.)

However... most guys cheat at some stage...

seamus

dublindude wrote:

However... most guys cheat at some stage...

You really are just full to the brim with bull, aren't ya?

For the record Vangelis, I've read that book, and I didn't get the same tone from it. But perhaps that's because I'm a man. You say the book said "Men want sex because ..... so women, just put up with it for God's sake". However, I read it as, "Before you write off your man as completely selfish prick, you may just want to consider that ..... so even though it's not a total excuse, it should help you understand what is (or isn't) going on in his head".

Different viewpoints I guess.

Zombrex

dublindude wrote:

However... most guys cheat at some stage...

Most guys don't cheat actually, and women are more likely to cheat on a long term partner (and when I say "women" I mean western american women, no idea if it holds for every culture)

AARRRGH

Wicknight wrote:

Most guys don't cheat actually, and women are more likely to cheat on a long term partner (and when I say "women" I mean western american women, no idea if it holds for every culture)

LOL. Men don't cheat, American women do...?????

Right... :rolleyes:

sturgo

Vangelis wrote:

So I read this book by a couple of scientists. They say that men always want sex for the sake of ensuring the next generation. Or sometimes plain self-satisfaction. And they can have sex with ANYBODY just because it is a biological urge. Why do I know men who are not like this then? Idiotic "scientists" say it's true with this arguement: "Because we say so!" BLAH! *makes vomit noise*

Should girls feel that they are used or should they "bear with" them and understand that they have an insatiable sexual appetite?

I hope my irritation isn't too strong for the mods.

Everything you read in that book is 100% accurite.

Zombrex

dublindude wrote:

LOL. Men don't cheat, American women do...?????

Right... :rolleyes:

Some American men cheat, but American women are more likely to cheat on their partners than American men are. I think the statistic holds for British men and women. This statistic didn't hold 15 years ago, so it shows a major increase of women cheating on their partners. Some have blamed the rise of this "ladette" culture ya read about in the Daily Mail.

Interestingly American men are more likely to cheat on their wives than American women are to cheat on their husbands (don't know about British men)

So I guess women are more faithful with in the realm of marriage vows, where as men who are going to cheat don't let something like a promise infront of God stop them ... bastards!

Tar.Aldarion

dublindude wrote:

However... most guys cheat at some stage...

Bollocks.
Most scum do maybe....
If I was in a relationship where the thought even crossed my mind...we would either sort it out or break up.Cheating is ****ing despicable.

Vangelis

The book has given me better understanding of how men think, but all the "facts" that it comes with seems to justify promiscuity(sp?). So because men have a high sexual appetite, does that mean that sleeping about is justifiable? Why can't these men channel their lusts onto one woman?

I'm glad I'm not the only one reacting to dublindude's attitude. Having said that I don't mean to start a personal flaming.

sturgo, if that book is 100% accurate, then I am a lesbian. Read my lips: I am not a lesbian! I'm getting married to the most wonderful and faithful man ever - very soon! And if you as much as claim that that book has any authority over my self-consciousness..........................

Wicknight is right, but women don't normally cheat because they no longer really love their men(from what I have heard other women say!), although that can be a reason too. It is silly anyway, but many women who do it regret and realise how much they love their boyfriends/husbands. And they quit. It functions as a sort of a wake-up call. Fortunately, there are many exceptions! Many real women!

Neuro

Vangelis wrote:

The book has given me better understanding...

Could you post the name and author of the book? Cheers.

Vangelis

I have allready posted it. It's Allan and Barbara Pease(they're a married couple).

AARRRGH

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Bollocks.
Most scum do maybe....
If I was in a relationship where the thought even crossed my mind...we would either sort it out or break up.Cheating is ****ing despicable.

I think you'll find that guys who find themselves in situations where they could cheat, do cheat. If you've ever been drunk and a beautiful girl is coming onto you, I doubt you'd push her away.

Have you ever been in a situation like the above?

Also, from your profile I can see you've just turned 19. I am 100% sure your opinion regarding cheating will change when you're a little older and more experienced. I was like you when I was 19, but as people know, when you're 19 you have a very rosy outlook of the world.

I assure you you will have cheated on a girlfriend by the time you're 30. Nearly all guys have... (the non-nerdy ones at least i.e. the ones who get opportunities to cheat!!)

chump

dublindude wrote:

I think you'll find that guys who find themselves in situations where they could cheat, do cheat. If you've ever been drunk and a beautiful girl is coming onto you, I doubt you'd push her away.

[1] Have you ever been in a situation like the above?

Also, from your profile I can see you've just [2] turned 19. I am 100% sure your opinion regarding cheating will change when you're a little older and more experienced. I was like you when I was 19, but as people know, when you're 19 you have a very rosy outlook of the world.

I assure you you will have cheated on a girlfriend by the time you're 30. Nearly all guys have... (the [3] non-nerdy ones at least i.e. the ones who get opportunities to cheat!!)

Jaysus dublindude, come across you in PI and now here...
Do you think you're a "real" man and that you speak for all "real" men when you write this shtuff?
It's a lot of bullsheet.

Back to your prize comment:
I think you'll find that guys who find themselves in situations where they could cheat, do cheat.

If this were the case any bloke who has a girlfriend when he goes out on a night without his gf, would cheat...
Because it's fairly simple.
If you and your pals are such diks that if any decent looking girl gives you the come-on and you drop any respect for your gf and cheat yas are a sad bunch...

You seem to try back up your sentiments by
1. insinuating Tar.Aldarion has never been come on to by a hot lady
2. suggesting your older years gives you greater insight into a REAL MANS mind
3. suggesting real men (non-nerdy guys) cheat

I suggest that you're talking sh!te...
Yea blokes cheat, girls do too.
A lot of people who cheat regret it seriously and wish to take it back.
People grow and learn, I don't necessarily think once a chater always a cheater
Most people in a good relationship, while still enjoying the sights and sounds of the other sex, are quite happy to pass up any offers. Do onto others and all that ...

You try and make it sound acceptable, almost a symbol of being a real lad, to cheat. This is BS.

Vangelis

dublindude doesn't understand that there are men who would not cheat on their girlfriends and look for one thing everytime they are out on their own.
He doesn't understand it because he thinks all other men think like him. He is narrow-minded, bigoted and so full of himself that it makes at least me sick.
It's bad genes, I guess. And saying that other men who don't behave like he thinks, lie to themselves. That is as arrogant as it possibly can be!

AARRRGH

chump wrote:

You try and make it sound acceptable, almost a symbol of being a real lad, to cheat. This is BS.

No, you're totally minunderstanding what I'm saying, and trying to twist it into something stupid like I'm a "lad" who just wants to get girls drunk and **** them.

I'm saying sex is our main motivator. It has a lot of subtle control over us (for example, why do women love shopping, why do men want power, etc etc.)

We may think cheating is morally wrong (and of course I agree with this) but it is not natural to not cheat. We have to make ourselves not cheat. We have to choose, "No, this would be wrong if I did this."

But at times of weakness (drunk, upset with partner etc.) people cheat. It will happen to you.

Regarding men and sex: yes, men think about sex all the time and want it with as many girls as possible. Again, this is natural. You may fight it, but it is your animal instinct. Just watch what male animals do all the time - trying to **** females. We are simply male animals who have a society and guilt complex which tells us this is wrong. We are forced to fight our natural, instinctual, lust for sex.

People who think I am sick because I believe the above are not living in the real world.

Vangelis I still believe you have serious issues with men and sex.

Vangelis

dublindude wrote:

It will happen to you.

Stop claiming this is the truth about every man in every relationship!!

dublindude wrote:

vangelis i still think you have issues with sex

You're saying that only to provoke me and make me angry. Well, you're quite an ellaborate manipulator. Your arrogance certainly provokes me and makes me angry.

Pigman II

I agree with Dublindude here. If there was opportunity and no moral or social obligations affecting the decision most men would choose have multiple partners. It's basic animal nature. If societys norm was for men to go after as many women as possible I guarentee you there'd be very few men still looking for 1on1 relationships.

AARRRGH

Vangelis wrote:

Stop claiming this is the truth about every man in every relationship!!

You are really kidding yourself if you think men die without having cheated at least once (and for the record, I know women cheat a lot too, but we are talking about men, not women, in this topic.)

It's clear you are innocent enough and want to look at the world as a nice, happy, caring place. But that's just not reality! The world is cut throat. People are selfish. People are greedy. It's just that some hide it better than others. Some are ashamed to admit what they do. Some people spend their lives lying to themself.

My friends often confide in me (for unknown reasons) and I know ALL have cheated (male + female.) But if you asked them, or met them today, they'd say they never cheated and think it is wrong. It is a case of saying one thing and doing another. That's humans...!

Anyway, the point of this topic wasn't about cheating. It is whether or not men are ruled by sex. I agree. It's obviously correct.

Vangelis

dublindude wrote:

You are really kidding yourself if you think men die without having cheated at least once (and for the record, I know women cheat a lot too, but we are talking about men, not women, in this topic.)

I do not believe the whole world is happy an innocent. I just know that my man would not cheat on me. You wouldn't understand that, but I know him and I know our relationship.

dublindude wrote:

It's clear you are innocent enough and want to look at the world as a nice, happy, caring place. But that's just not reality! The world is cut throat. People are selfish. People are greedy. It's just that some hide it better than others. Some are ashamed to admit what they do. Some people spend their lives lying to themself.

Not that it matters, but are you greedy and selfish? Obviously the answer is yes.

dublindude wrote:

My friends often confide in me (for unknown reasons) and I know ALL have cheated (male + female.) But if you asked them, or met them today, they'd say they never cheated and think it is wrong. It is a case of saying one thing and doing another. That's humans...!

Anyway, the point of this topic wasn't about cheating. It is whether or not men are ruled by sex. I agree. It's obviously correct.

I can understand if they cheat on their partner if being insecure, unhappy in the relationship, having been too far away from their partner for too long, having changed and found out that they want something else, or having general relationship problems. But that is not the answer to solving a relationship-problem.

Do those who have confided in you regret what they did? Have they taken wisdom from it?

Son Goku

Vangelis wrote:

I have NO LINK. But the book is called "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps", by Allan and Barbara Pease. And the cream of it all is that I can actually read maps!! I love maps! So according to statistics in this book, I am more """""likely""""" to be a lesbian. BLAH! I am as heterosexual as a mellow banana is yellow!!!!!!

I don't know if what that book is saying is true, but all it states is that you have a greater chance of being a lesbian, not that you are a lesbian.

dublindude wrote:

You are really kidding yourself if you think men die without having cheated at least once (and for the record, I know women cheat a lot too, but we are talking about men, not women, in this topic.)

For the most part I'd agree with what you're saying, I'd just make the addendum that it's difficult to say what amount of men actually cheat on their partners.

A lot of guys want to have sex with women who aren't their girlfriends in a very passive, "I'd do her" sort of a way, but would never actually cheat.

(However I'd make no guess as to what proportion of men are like this).

AARRRGH

Vangelis wrote:

I do not believe the whole world is happy an innocent. I just know that my man would not cheat on me. You wouldn't understand that, but I know him and I know our relationship.

You say you met him by "Letter Correspondance". Does that mean he lives in a different country (or prison/somewhere you can't be with him)? Would that explain your deep insecurity on this issue?

Vangelis wrote:

Not that it matters, but are you greedy and selfish? Obviously the answer is yes.

I'm selfish and greedy because I disagree with you? GROW UP! You don't know me. I am not a bad person. I am as selfish and greedy as my fellow humans, including you.

Vangelis wrote:

I can understand if they cheat on their partner if being insecure, unhappy in the relationship, having been too far away from their partner for too long, having changed and found out that they want something else, or having general relationship problems. But that is not the answer to solving a relationship-problem.

Yes, but it is reality. Humans aren't computers. Our emotions have more power over us than our morals/intellect.

So you understand if people cheat because they are having "general relationship problems". Doesn't every relationship have problems every now and then? So you understand cheating during those periods, right? If so, what they hell is your anti-cheating point? You've just agreed with me. People cheat when they are having general relationship problems. You said it, not me. Time to get off your high horse!

Vangelis wrote:

Do those who have confided in you regret what they did? Have they taken wisdom from it?

Depends. If they break up soon after, they don't care. But if they stay together, some regret it, some don't. It's not a simple black and white issue.

Sarky

I've always preferred thinking with my brain, actually. It's a much better way of doing things. Thinking with anything else tends to result in sloppy judgements.

Yeah, I think about sex pretty often. Why not? Sex is rather nice, and there are worse things to have on your mind. But I just don't buy into this attitude of "Oh, but it's instinct! Sex is our main motivator! If we can get away with it, we'll do it!" and suchlike. I find it as much a generalisation as saying all men love football, drink only pints, or are better drivers than women.

So far I've not cheated on anyone I've had a relationship with. I'm pretty confident I can make it to the grave without doing so, either. During my "coupled" time, I've told whatever few women might have approached me that I wasn't interested, whether the significant other was there or not.

Fine, it's probably not natural. But neither is sex in multiple positions. Or contraception. Or oral sex. Or, for that matter, hooking metal nipple clamps to a car battery. I could make a much bigger list. How many of those do you condemn or condone?

chump

dublindude wrote:

I think you'll find that guys who find themselves in situations where they could cheat, do cheat. If you've ever been drunk and a beautiful girl is coming onto you, I doubt you'd push her away.

Have you ever been in a situation like the above?

...

I assure you you will have cheated on a girlfriend by the time you're 30. Nearly all guys have... (the non-nerdy ones at least i.e. the ones who get opportunities to cheat!!)

You're changing the goal posts dublindude.
I wouldn't disagree for a minute...
that people do cheat.
that men, in their base form, would like to fuk anything. But man is more than animal, we aren't talking hypothetical.
that a sizeable proportion of people will at some stage in their life cheat on one of their partners

The last matter is the point of debate here. What you're suggesting, quoted above, is that men cheat given the opportunity.
You also made an effort to get your point across by trying to infer superiority of wisdom (due to age, non nerdyness, whatever insight you think you possess).

I'm saying that men cheat, when they err (I sound like a dik I know).
Most of the time, even under the influence men don't become such animals that they cheat on their partner.
But people have numerous partners in life, the odds are they will have made the mistake of cheating in one of them...

If I was to take a sample pool of people I know in relationships...
A lot would have cheated in a past relationship... usually is a good indicator things are close to failure. But those in healthy happy relationships don't cheat, for the most part.

So I think what you're trying to say is: men cheat regularly when given opportunity
And what I'm saying is: Most men in a (happy) relationship will not cheat
& what's the point of being in a relationship if you aren't happy with it?

???

Oh and your comment:
But at times of weakness (drunk, upset with partner etc.) people cheat. It will happen to you.
is just ridiculous. Who in the name of Moses do you think you are? You're so wise to the world that you can tell that I, some randomer on the net, am going to cheat? Can you tell me the time and place?
Not everyone is like you, I may well cheat and have cheated, but who are you to tell anyone that they will cheat?

AARRRGH

Chump: you're 23. Let's have this conversation when you're my age.

Disclaimer: when I say "all men cheat" I mean "most men". Of course, I am aware there are some strange men who do not cheat, people in prison, mental homes, etc. But most men = at least 75%.

Tar.Aldarion

dublindude wrote:

I think you'll find that guys who find themselves in situations where they could cheat, do cheat. If you've ever been drunk and a beautiful girl is coming onto you, I doubt you'd push her away.

Have you ever been in a situation like the above?

em of course...it's like asking if somebody has ever been drunk in a club,that beautiful girl is usually the gf but if not,even when drunk I'm able to push people away.

Also, from your profile I can see you've just turned 19. I am 100% sure your opinion regarding cheating will change when you're a little older and more experienced. I was like you when I was 19, but as people know, when you're 19 you have a very rosy outlook of the world.

I do not have a rosy outlook at the world believe you me....At nineteen, I hope that all my tough lessons have been learned but I know they have not...
Learned my hrdest one last week,damn girls..
anyway,I know people who have not cheated that are much older than me...It's an exception,not a rule.

I assure you you will have cheated on a girlfriend by the time you're 30. Nearly all guys have... (the non-nerdy ones at least i.e. the ones who get opportunities to cheat!!)

I'm sure even the nerdies get teh lovin(if they go out...for god sake,go out people!!)
Anyway,eleven years...I'll see you then !