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How to tell when you're in love!

  • 11-09-2005 2:28pm
    #1
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,661 CMod ✭✭✭✭


    Peeps, i went out with the most magnificent girl some time ago for a number of months. She was the best thing that ever happened to me to the point where i was a new man! (without selling out if u know what I mean!)

    All my previous relationships were incomparable to it blah blah. Things were deadly for us both (or so it seems) then she threw me away like a cold bag of chips. I havent had the balls to face her since cos it still hurts months later even though im considered a very funny outgoing bloke. Dont hate her either which is weird. Her reasons for splitting up changed a few times but all in all she blames herself!?! (LOL) Problem is now we see each other regularly for one reason of another which doesnt help. I miss her rather than missing being with someone which is spooky!

    Ive tried seeing other women, rampant sex with others etc etc but its not the same.

    Anyway point of the story is i believe you really dont know how much u love someone until its over and you weigh things up.

    Discuss!

    Anyone for pavalova?


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Gazza22


    Yeah i agree, when everything is finished, you tend to evaluate the relationship and most of the time have happy memories and start to see it wasn't all that bad...


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,661 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    gazza22 wrote:
    But i can't help but to feel that you are trolling....

    eh whats that supposed to mean?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 47 jazzbandit


    I think we all know (and certainly its been discussed with friends of mine who use this site) that gazza is himself a troll. Trying to abuse ppl like the faceman, who appears to be facing a tough time is just cruel and childish, and I would suggest to the moderators they ban gazza before this site becomes a laughing matter.

    Kind regards,

    The jazzman


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,503 ✭✭✭✭jellie


    yeah, sometimes you dont know quite how much someone means to you until theyre not there anymore.

    :(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,522 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    jazzbandit please do not post if you are going to post off-topic drivel like that. gazza - the fact that you think a post is a troll is irrelevant to the discussion. Definition of troll.

    Back on topic please or there'll be bannings.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 47 jazzbandit


    I didnt post no off topic drivel. I was just sticking up for the faceman.

    Anyone been to South Africa lately? Is it best to go in their summer (or is it too hot?) or should I go in the winter when it's quieter?

    The jazzman


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,598 ✭✭✭✭Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager


    I can't see any personal issue here. "Discuss"? Take it to AH please.

    Not your ornery onager



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,661 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    Of course its a personal issue, its about my relationships and views on them. My terminology "discuss" is an abbreviation for ppl's opinions. Just like ur request to take it to "AH". With all due respect, i have no idea what AH is??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,968 ✭✭✭jcoote


    ah is after hours its like a general forum about blah blah chit chat kinda things...anyway love is accepting everything but a person faults and all...so do accept everything about her or is it too soon to tell..if it is try spendin some time with her


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,522 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    jazzbandit banned from PI.

    Good point, this isn't a personal issue as it's more a general discussion. I'll move this to AfterHours.


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  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,661 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    jcoote wrote:
    ah is after hours its like a general forum about blah blah chit chat kinda things...anyway love is accepting everything but a person faults and all...so do accept everything about her or is it too soon to tell..if it is try spendin some time with her

    Thanks dude. im usuaally confident but for some reason havent got the guts to tee myself up for further rejection from her. Sad i know...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,968 ✭✭✭jcoote


    well put it this way your damned if u do and your damned if u don't but at least if u approach her you'll get closure or hopefully a date etc etc ;)....either way you'll know where u stand !!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Gazza22


    jazzbandit wrote:
    I think we all know (and certainly its been discussed with friends of mine who use this site) that gazza is himself a troll. Trying to abuse ppl like the faceman, who appears to be facing a tough time is just cruel and childish, and I would suggest to the moderators they ban gazza before this site becomes a laughing matter.

    Kind regards,

    The jazzman

    Care to backup with some examples? Your talking rubbish...
    faceman wrote:
    eh whats that supposed to mean?

    Sorry faceman if i took it up wrong, my apologies but i just got the feeling that your post wasn't serious...i think the pavalova thing threw me off! ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 47 jazzbandit


    Gazza I think you're posting about Nell McAndrew and urself was just the tip of the iceburg, but I'm not gonna give ur other posts the oxygen of publicity by drawing attention to them. My taxes pay for the upkeep of the internet, and im quite affronted that ppl like u use it in such a way.
    Anyway, facemen, hope things r starting to work out with that burd, all our thoughts im sure are with u at the minute.
    Chin up big guy


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Gazza22


    jazzbandit wrote:
    Gazza I think you're posting about Nell McAndrew and urself was just the tip of the iceburg, but I'm not gonna give ur other posts the oxygen of publicity by drawing attention to them. My taxes pay for the upkeep of the internet, and im quite affronted that ppl like u use it in such a way.
    Anyway, facemen, hope things r starting to work out with that burd, all our thoughts im sure are with u at the minute.
    Chin up big guy

    Ok fine...whatever, talk about imaginary postings all you like

    I'm just going to chant in my mind Lemming's sig now and not argue with you because i'll end up with a ban when i finished

    "Dont argue with an idiot, they will bring you down to their level and beat you
    with experience"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,230 ✭✭✭scojones


    Personal Issues tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 599 ✭✭✭Cabelo


    It's a hard knock life. Don't worry chief, someday you'll look back with the "We had a good time but I'm happy now too" tinted glasses and it'll all be cool again.

    And, while I'm here...
    jazzbandit wrote:
    Gazza I think you're posting about Nell McAndrew and urself was just the tip of the iceburg, but I'm not gonna give ur other posts the oxygen of publicity by drawing attention to them. My taxes pay for the upkeep of the internet, and im quite affronted that ppl like u use it in such a way.
    Anyway, facemen, hope things r starting to work out with that burd, all our thoughts im sure are with u at the minute.
    Chin up big guy

    Jazz: When in the name of Jesus did you pay an internet tax? I don't believe nobody else pointed this out. That is one of the most spanner things I've ever heard. You don't get to call anyone else a troll and say shi-ote like that, y'know?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,918 ✭✭✭Deadwing


    When you can look at her and think 'I'd do anything to bone her', thats an old fashioned romantic feeling, man


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,730 ✭✭✭✭simu


    Ya just know when true love®(t.m.) hits ya. I did anyway! Can't be any more specific than that!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,763 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    Ya know your in love when she grabs the cheeks of your arse and whispers, "Are ya in, love?"


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,968 ✭✭✭jcoote


    ColHol wrote:
    Ya know your in love when she grabs the cheeks of your arse and whispers, "Are ya in, love?"



    ****in brilliant man...:D


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,113 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    faceman wrote:

    Ive tried seeing other women, rampant sex with others etc etc but its not the same.

    i know how you feel there,it just means nothing to you...damn empty experienxes that just make you feel like crap later if you ask me.
    faceman wrote:
    Anyway point of the story is i believe you really dont know how much u love someone until its over and you weigh things up.
    basically when you can't have it you know how much you want it.when you have it you don't realise how great it is..ah well,the usual...


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,661 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    simu wrote:
    Ya just know when true love®(t.m.) hits ya. I did anyway! Can't be any more specific than that!

    Sorry dude, you're going to have to elaborate on that otherwise everyone will think ur making it up to look cool!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,598 ✭✭✭✭Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager


    simu is cool, faceman isn't. Discuss.

    Not your ornery onager



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 784 ✭✭✭bacon?


    i hear ye.

    it's a real head fcuk.

    you take em for granted when you're with em, then miss em/love em like mad when you've lost em.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    faceman wrote:
    Sorry dude, you're going to have to elaborate on that otherwise everyone will think ur making it up to look cool!!!

    Ahh yee of little knowledge ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,785 ✭✭✭Farls


    i know how you feel there,it just means nothing to you...damn empty experienxes that just make you feel like crap later if you ask me.

    basically when you can't have it you know how much you want it.when you have it you don't realise how great it is..ah well,the usual...

    Nail....head.

    And this is a personal issue IMO


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Farls wrote:
    Nail....head.

    And this is a personal issue IMO

    The OP phrased it as a general discussion, so not really a PI from the original post.

    It could be, very easily, rephrased as one though.


    Oh and tar, I'd disagree, it can feel very good when you are in love with someone too. Although yes, it does feel terrible if you lose them for some reason.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,785 ✭✭✭Farls


    nesf wrote:
    The OP phrased it as a general discussion, so not really a PI from the original post.

    It could be, very easily, rephrased as one though.

    I agree with you on that....the "discuss" put it off track a kind off.
    nesf wrote:

    Oh and tar, I'd disagree, it can feel very good when you are in love with someone too. Although yes, it does feel terrible if you lose them for some reason.

    Your right nesf it normally does feel very good when you are in love but after a long time in the relationship you can forget that feeling and if neither party makes the effort to blow the dust off it then you fall into the trap Tar was on about.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,129 ✭✭✭Nightwish


    well I've never loved and lost...but theres no explaining how to know when one is in love. its something that only the person involved knows. As long as they are mature enough to understand the difference between love and lust, that is...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Farls wrote:
    Your right nesf it normally does feel very good when you are in love but after a long time in the relationship you can forget that feeling and if neither party makes the effort to blow the dust off it then you fall into the trap Tar was on about.

    I have experienced that once in the past. I am hoping that it isn't always the case though :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,230 ✭✭✭scojones


    nesf wrote:
    I have experienced that once in the past. I am hoping that it isn't always the case though :)

    Ditto.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,113 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Nightwish wrote:
    As long as they are mature enough to understand the difference between love and lust, that is...
    ah i think i know the diff anyhow,espec when i stopped giving a **** about the sex and concentrating more on just being around em...
    anyway,don't fall into the aforementioned trap and always remember how good you have it or else..get used to :(


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,661 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    esel wrote:
    simu is cool, faceman isn't. Discuss.

    Seems u have it to a tee, why discuss any further ya clown??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,684 ✭✭✭FatherTed


    Heres how you know...When the two of you are sitting there and you have nothing to say and neither feels awkward.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,252 ✭✭✭deisedevil


    I have always been wondering bout this, is it all a load of bull or do you actually realise it when your in love,the word love seems like a load a bollox to me but that could be cause i ain't found it yet.Thought i did a few times but i know now it def wasn't. A story bout how i fu**** up once and maybe missed out on this love thing,lol. Was going out with someone who i def shouldn't have been. Broke up with her and was feeling a little bit strange bout it. That day found out that a friend who is seriously SERIOUSLY hot wanted to meet me. Apparently she wanted to with a while but i wasn't to sure bout it and didn't want to go straight from one to another and **** up two friendships(was still friends with the ex) left it for a week and ended up being with her but was finding it a bit strange cause i couldn't change from thinking of her as a good friend.then came one of the biggest regrets of my life.i was very drunk the next day and was at a match, on the bus on the way back home i was with a total minger who gave me a hand job on the back of a bus!lol.In school the next monday it was everywhere and i was starting to feel like a right prick(yup i most def was) there was no way she was gonna go out with me after that but was still talking to me. ages after that we were at a friends house and were all drinking,was starting to look like i had a chance of sorting it out with her and was nearly with her but nothing happened,found out after she def wanted to. but nothing ever did happen again.she mentioned something bout it one night,a smart comment. i never felt like such an idiot,every time i'd see her i was reminded at what i threw away(my idea of a perfect gf) and still to this day there is barely a day goes by that i don't think about her.

    so ya it's too true, like the song goes "don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone"

    to the op, maybe you won't be able to get this girl outta your head so you might be better off to see if you have a chance with her again, finality is much better than spending years wondering what might have been, i realise that now,i should have tried again.
    Regrets are a biotch!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    "When everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive"

    Love is what love is, it knows no boundaries, no faults. Love does not see less, it sees more, and because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Love is when you want, need, care about, every single miniscule aspect of that person. You may acknowledge their downfalls but you don't care, you brush them aside, because they are part of them, in your eyes they can do no wrong. Love cannot be tamed, controled, turned on and off like a tap. Love is not just a word but, a life.

    As for realising this when the person is gone, yep you feel like part of you is missing, like your soul is torn in two.

    Try be friends with her, it'll hurt like fcuk but try come to the conclusion that, if you do love her you want to see her happy, and if that's not with you then that is okay. If you can't be with her be friends with her. Maybe tell her this, cuz I was told it before, by a guy I know it was true from and it really makes you realis jut how much the person loves you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,388 ✭✭✭Kernel


    Love is just a collection of feel good chemicals and hormones (PEA's) produced in the brain in order to make us stick with someone, and reproduce. The kick is, after a few years, we build up a tolerance to the drug/chemicals, and the effect wears off.

    Think of it as temporary insanity, or a heroin kick. ;)

    Love is for girly men.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    Kernel wrote:
    Love is just a collection of feel good chemicals and hormones (PEA's) produced in the brain in order to make us stick with someone, and reproduce. The kick is, after a few years, we build up a tolerance to the drug/chemicals, and the effect wears off.

    Think of it as temporary insanity, or a heroin kick. ;)

    Love is for girly men.
    coming from the chap witha strawberry for an avator.... :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,252 ✭✭✭deisedevil


    Le Rack wrote:
    coming from the chap witha strawberry for an avator.... :rolleyes:
    Lmao, well spotted, and i'm guessing he ain't a wexford strawberry either seein as he has southside for location.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,221 ✭✭✭20 Times 20 Times


    to answer the orginal question from my point of view , when i see the person my heart starts racing and im overwhelmed and i get that feeling in my stomach , and this happens everytime i see them now its been a LONG time but hope to feel that way again soon :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,846 ✭✭✭Le Rack


    deisedevil wrote:
    Lmao, well spotted, and i'm guessing he ain't a wexford strawberry either seein as he has southside for location.
    I'm a wexford lass and our strawberries are much nicer that that auld yoke!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,473 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Love is indefinable.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,252 ✭✭✭deisedevil


    Le Rack wrote:
    I'm a wexford lass and our strawberries are much nicer that that auld yoke!

    Lol, the best in the country no doubt about it, the spuds are great too,lol. ;)

    Ah shur strawberries are an aphrodisiac aren't they, ye must be all randy as anythin in wexford. never been with a wexford girl, hmmmmmmm maybe i should stay on the lookout for one,lol.

    Ya i agree with ya sleepy, love is indefinable, seems that way to me anyways.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    faceman wrote:
    Seems u have it to a tee, why discuss any further ya clown??

    Quieten down a bit mate. Play nice with others :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2 i like cake


    faceman is cool.Simu and esel ,on the other hand, own 3282625262829202 playstation games between them. nesf owns twice that many, and has 12000 simpsons t-shirts.

    Faceman, I hope it all goes well for u. Takes balls to admit how u feel to random punters. Ur a bigger man than I. If there's any justice, you'll get the bird u deserve and breed and have loadsa little facemen and facewomen.

    Best wishes.

    Cakeman


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,730 ✭✭✭✭simu


    faceman is cool.Simu and esel ,on the other hand, own 3282625262829202 playstation games between them. nesf owns twice that many, and has 12000 simpsons t-shirts.

    Faceman, I hope it all goes well for u. Takes balls to admit how u feel to random punters. Ur a bigger man than I. If there's any justice, you'll get the bird u deserve and breed and have loadsa little facemen and facewomen.

    Best wishes.

    Cakeman

    Wow, so funny. Lots of people must love you. o_O


  • Site Banned Posts: 152 ✭✭Resurrection


    You're only in love when you can take a dump with the door open. Thats what a serious relationship is about.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Actually, I have family guy t-shirts and collect PC games. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,817 ✭✭✭✭po0k


    You're only in love when you can take a dump with the door open. Thats what a serious relationship is about.


    Yes.

    Also, being able to break wind in each other's company and then critique the odour would indicate a very strong and healthy relationship.

    Now class, for your homework assignment try and figure out if I'm being sarcastic or serious.


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