FFS, whats he playing at?

Femelade · 13-07-2005 2:39pm #1

ok, was meeting this guy with the past 3 weeks or so.
he used to call most nights after work and we used to have a laugh.
he finished work early on monday(around half 2), so he rang and said he was just going to have a bite to eat and then he was calling over.(he only lives about 3 or 4 miles away)
thats the last i heard of him......
its wedneasday now and i'm going demented!
i rang him once today and once last nite, with no reply.
i txted him a few times monday, just doing the mess, saying he was a sleepy head(thought he had gone to bed instead of calling cos he has only got an hours sleep the night before, which was fine by me, if that was the reason.)
i txted him twice yesterday, and once 2day with no replies....

this is not normal is it?
why would some1 do that, its just pure mean, don't ye think?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 13-07-2005 2:42pm

maybe he's in the hospital?

Beruthiel · 13-07-2005 2:44pm

mean perhaps
but not surprising
some blokes don't know how to say they've moved on and it's bye bye for you, if they ignore you, eventually you'll go away.
I suggest you do.

Femelade · 13-07-2005 3:01pm

i'd have heard if anything had happened to him,
Ber, i think it is kinda mean and surprising. one min he rings and says he's gonna call and then thats it! why say he was going to call if he had no intention of it? he was in good form too and we were having a laugh on the phone.
He lives locally, good friends with my older brother and wife and another few couples i am very good friends with also.
i am going to leave him off now but i will be seeing him around this weekend like i always do and he's just after making things awkward.

BizzyC · 13-07-2005 3:19pm

Maybe the fact that you've sent 5 texts and tried to ring him a couple of times in the past few days......

Ease off a bit, maybe he fell asleep and was a bit scared by all your attempts to get a hold of him...

Sleepy · 13-07-2005 3:40pm

Maybe he scored someone else after work and is afraid to face you?

ionapaul · 13-07-2005 3:46pm

I have to admit I know his (apparent) method of rejection well - ignore 'em till they just go away. Don't know why I do this, but it comes naturally to all men!

PIguru · 13-07-2005 5:01pm

Femmy wrote:

this is not normal is it?
why would some1 do that, its just pure mean, don't ye think?

I see this so often is crazy...

2 possible reasons..
#1: He might actually be tired and hasnt got the time to give you a call,fair enough..It sometimes happens...
#2: Most likely issue... From how you described your man it seems as though hes a good laugh and maybe good with women?..
Ever heard of 'treat em mean,keep em keen'?..Thats exactly what he's doing to you..He knows if he doesnt call you that your going to freak out and start calling all your girlfriends asking how long they hadnt heard from their boyfriends at any one time,keeping you anxious and thinking about him.
It's all a game,just like hard to get and sending mixed signals,focussed on confusing the other person and not letting them know what your thinking or how you feel,causing mystery..which women love.
It also gives the impression that he isnt needy or desperate for your attention which is good..

Beruthiel,men do not just 'lose interest' in a woman(especially not after just 3weeks..),if she's hot she's hot and thats how it works,her looks will not just dissapear and dont ever think that her personality is more important so if she's annoying he'l ignore her..Men will stay with a girl if her attitude is JUST berrible,because she is good looking..

Trust me Femmy,he still likes you and should hear from him within the next few days,just wait it out...

PIguru !

Femelade · 13-07-2005 5:12pm

PIguru wrote:

I see this so often is crazy...

2 possible reasons..
#1: He might actually be tired and hasnt got the time to give you a call,fair enough..It sometimes happens...
#2: Most likely issue... From how you described your man it seems as though hes a good laugh and maybe good with women?..
Ever heard of 'treat em mean,keep em keen'?..Thats exactly what he's doing to you..He knows if he doesnt call you that your going to freak out and start calling all your girlfriends asking how long they hadnt heard from their boyfriends at any one time,keeping you anxious and thinking about him.
It's all a game,just like hard to get and sending mixed signals,focussed on confusing the other person and not letting them know what your thinking or how you feel,causing mystery..which women love.
It also gives the impression that he isnt needy or desperate for your attention which is good..

Beruthiel,men do not just 'lose interest' in a woman(especially not after just 3weeks..),if she's hot she's hot and thats how it works,her looks will not just dissapear and dont ever think that her personality is more important so if she's annoying he'l ignore her..Men will stay with a girl if her attitude is JUST berrible,because she is good looking..

Trust me Femmy,he still likes you and should hear from him within the next few days,just wait it out...

PIguru !

hey thanks guru!
you know me so well, i've been talking to sisters and friends for the past two days about the whole situ.
anyways.....he txted earlier, said he was sick.
i dunno, he shouldve known i'd be wondering what was the story, he still couldve txted.
He is playing a game with me i know.
but he knows that i dont play games.
got hurt in a relationship with a guy before that played nothing but games and it turned out 2 be just that, a big game to him. ( he knows about this cos he's friends with the guy).

anyway, i replied, saying that he shoulve txted cos i was worried when he didnt arrive at my house for 2 days.
havent heard anything back, wouldnt be surprised if i didnt hear from him for another 2 days!

-Femmy

LundiMardi · 13-07-2005 5:34pm

he's moved on, it's obvious, if us men like someone, we don't beat around the muff, err, sorry, bush.

He's not interested. Sorry.

Tobias Greeshman · 13-07-2005 5:48pm

He's either met someone else and moved on, not interested or is enjoying messing with your head (he's friends with your ex thats messed with your head, for gods sake).

Either way can you honestly see anything positive coming from having a relationship with a person like this? Personally if a girl treated me like this, Id kick the bítch to the kerb fairly lively!!

OLDYELLAR · 13-07-2005 6:06pm

Why bother ringing to say I`ll be over ?I dont get it , I know the ignore em method but a guy has never rang me to remind me hes around and then get me worried sick and ignore me.
Loose him Femmy , sounds like a tw*t , he could of at least texted to say I wont be around , Im even mad just reading it , Unless he was in hospital sick theres no excuse , what like he came down with a killer bug right after he rang ya , bloody idiot!
Ya deserve someone better , someone who actually turns up after they ring an say Im cvoming over.

Femelade · 13-07-2005 6:22pm

true, i'm just not going to get in contact with him again, its up to him.
he said he had tonsilitis, which could very well be true cos i was very sick with it myself during the week(probably gave it to him) but i was still able to pick up a phone a press a few buttons.

why oh why do i always pick the fu(kers!!!!

and the worst thing is that only last weekend when i was out loads of people said it to me how good it was to see me with some1 nice and hoping it would work out.

AAHHH

Femelade · 13-07-2005 6:25pm

silas wrote:

(he's friends with your ex thats messed with your head, for gods sake).

sorry when i meant friends, they dont know eachother that well, just knows him, but also knows our history.

OLDYELLAR · 13-07-2005 6:27pm

He needs a few digs , Yer better off without getting messed around like that.I think so anyway.

Einstein · 13-07-2005 6:33pm

OLDYELLAR wrote:

He needs a few digs , Yer better off without getting messed around like that.I think so anyway.

I agree,
don't paint all the blokes with the same paintbrush...there are some of us out there that know basic manners and respect.

OLDYELLAR · 13-07-2005 6:38pm

Theres lots of nice guys out there , Head games aernt fun and the fact that he waited 2 days to reply when you were obviouisly worried shows he doesnt really care about your feelings , Im sorry to say it but its true , texting isnt a great strain , ya deserve better.

Femelade · 13-07-2005 6:39pm

Divers wrote:

I agree,
don't paint all the blokes with the same paintbrush...there are some of us out there that know basic manners and respect.

oh i know, just i seem to pick the guys with NO basic manners OR respect.

i know i should forget about him, but like they say easier said than done.

i'll do my best, and if i feel the urge to txt him or ring him, i'll just come on here and type my little heart out.

claireoby · 13-07-2005 7:12pm

i was datin a fella for a while and we went on like 4 dates one week and then he stopped txtin and replyin. so after 3 wks of bein patient and assumin that he just didnt like me, i bumped into his friend and he told me that my fella thought the best way to break up with me was just to ignore me as if i didnt exist...fellas..stupid or wat??

Yv · 13-07-2005 7:59pm

yeah i remember a couple of yrs back i was with someone for 4 or 5 wks, he used to ring me every night. then about 3 nights passed with no word from him - i'm not the kind of girl to fret or hassle ppl & tend to leave things be but then on the 4th night he called. he said:
1) that he'd been feverish with hypothermia because he'd walked to school with no jumper on;
2) that he wasn't allowed call anymore because it was too expensive and his mom was getting annoyed;
3) that he thought we should break up.

translation: i was too weak to tell you i wanted out 3 nights ago, and have since had to make up a few weak excuses to cover my ass.

lol, hypothermia of all things.

moral of the story: some guys don't handle the whole end-of-relationship thing terribly well. :P

Einstein · 13-07-2005 8:10pm

Yv wrote:

1) that he'd been feverish with hypothermia because he'd walked to school with no jumper on

lol, feverish with hypothermia...haha...tosspot...

Yv · 13-07-2005 8:14pm

i see that now :P

Plastic Scouser · 13-07-2005 8:23pm

Terrible confession coming up.......

It's not just boys that do the ignoring thing! I'm a girl and in my youth I'm afraid that I was guilty of letting things 'fizzle out' a few times myself! (The shame!

)

the_syco · 13-07-2005 8:34pm

You seem a little bit obsessive. Maybe your scaring the poor lad.

Quick question: do you let him have any "me time"? If not, he could just be having some "me time" at the moment.

OLDYELLAR · 13-07-2005 8:37pm

He rang her though an said im coming over , obviously she was goina try contact him after he didnt bother showing up and didnt even text , I would a done the exact same thing myself , Id make a point of getting him interested now , just to dump him , the spa!

Stench Blossoms · 13-07-2005 10:18pm

Feck him! That was a horrible thing to do by telling you he was coming over and then hearing nothing from him..

Happened to me a few years ago. I was soo bloody pissed off because i didnt get any impression that he wasn't interested. He made the first move, he asked me for my number, he was asking all my mates about me!

Ah men!

I'd say just forget about him. If he text's you don't bother writing back. I know it will be hard but just try your best not to text him.

PIguru · 13-07-2005 11:40pm

why are you still all replying with your stupid 'hes moved on' advice...I already solved the situation so you can all put your little inexperienced advice away..

edit- knowing that im gonna get flamed for this,why dont you just post a pick of your self Femmy so I can confirm my thoughts...seriously,if your ugly he may have left you(dont really have much experience in the ugly sector so i dont know :P),if your hot..hes playing games

Kell · 14-07-2005 1:24am

PIguru wrote:

Beruthiel,men do not just 'lose interest' in a woman(especially not after just 3weeks..),if she's hot she's hot and thats how it works,her looks will not just dissapear and dont ever think that her personality is more important so if she's annoying he'l ignore her..Men will stay with a girl if her attitude is JUST berrible,because she is good looking..

Are you off your f*cking rocker woman?? What a load of horse sh*t. Men drop women like sh*t off a shovel if she is a head wrecker irrelevent of looks. Believe it or not our gender is not that shallow. Says a lot about you to make such a generalisation.

Femmy- your doing it again. Stop looking for THE ONE as per your post some weeks back. If you werent constantly looking for THE ONE, you wouldnt stress out about this. Lets take worst case scenario and he has lost interest. So what. Move on. No point in getting so hung up about it. FFS after three weeks you are sounding like a love struck teenager as opposed to someone in their mid twenties who's been round the block. Chill.

K-

PIguru · 14-07-2005 2:19am

Kell wrote:

Are you off your f*cking rocker woman?? What a load of horse sh*t. Men drop women like sh*t off a shovel if she is a head wrecker irrelevent of looks. Believe it or not our gender is not that shallow. Says a lot about you to make such a generalisation.

Femmy- your doing it again. Stop looking for THE ONE as per your post some weeks back. If you werent constantly looking for THE ONE, you wouldnt stress out about this. Lets take worst case scenario and he has lost interest. So what. Move on. No point in getting so hung up about it. FFS after three weeks you are sounding like a love struck teenager as opposed to someone in their mid twenties who's been round the block. Chill.

K-

First of all,Im not a woman,I'm a lad..

And being a lad,I know that if im with a hot bird for a while that I think is kinda annoying,I'l probably stick around just for her looks(until something better comes along) and drop her if she does something out of line..as I know,I'm not going to marry this girl..or any girl like her.. I find most of my friends thinki the same way,except those of them that arent too successful with women..dunno why,they just seem to get the idea that they only go for women with good personality AND looks,which is total bull of course,as they dont actuallly get ANY girls..and its not as if there arent plenty of cool,hot girls around..

Also,on the topic of Femmy looking for 'the one'...women are always looking for the one..as soon as you meet a girl and start hanging out,they are already thinking about long term relations..so dont bother trying to get her to change that aspect

Sleepy · 14-07-2005 9:25am

For the love of jeff, who let Ross O' Carroll Kelly start posting on boards.ie?

Femelade · 14-07-2005 11:08am

the_syco wrote:

You seem a little bit obsessive. Maybe your scaring the poor lad.

Quick question: do you let him have any "me time"? If not, he could just be having some "me time" at the moment.

He calls when he wants to call, i never asked him to call to me on account of his work as he works early in the morning till really late at night.

if he's having "me time" why call and say he'll call over in a bit then not hear from him for 2 days?

PIguru wrote:

edit- knowing that im gonna get flamed for this,why dont you just post a pick of your self Femmy so I can confirm my thoughts...seriously,if your ugly he may have left you(dont really have much experience in the ugly sector so i dont know :P),if your hot..hes playing games

no, i'm not going to post a picture of myself. i'm not an ugly girl, i'm not a fu(king stunner either, but not ugly anyway.

Kell wrote:

Femmy- your doing it again. Stop looking for THE ONE as per your post some weeks back. If you werent constantly looking for THE ONE, you wouldnt stress out about this. Lets take worst case scenario and he has lost interest. So what. Move on. No point in getting so hung up about it. FFS after three weeks you are sounding like a love struck teenager as opposed to someone in their mid twenties who's been round the block. Chill.

K-

i know i know i know, but he was the one who started this, he asked me out for a drink, rings and asks can he call over for a bit etc...

FFS, whats he playing at?

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