Sick of bad luck

TattyTeddy

I don't think thats very fair! I think we were equally as bad as each other......... not think it's possible that I blame myself a lot?

Beruthiel

TattyTeddy wrote:

not think it's possible that I blame myself a lot?

when you gain confidence, you will be able to answer that question yourself

LundiMardi

it doesn't make a difference, you still felt the need to start needless fights, you also felt the need to say you wanted to break up even though you didn't mean it. Do you think this is normal behaviour or something?

WhiteWashMan

TattyTeddy wrote:

I admit I was wrong to start the fights and I suppose I shouldn't be surprised but he was so similar to me and started fights for no reason too.

weeeeell, maybe, maybe not...
im sure he feels the same way about your behaviour.

TattyTeddy wrote:

I would start the fights becuase he would act really cold towards me (for no reason) and not text back etc so perhaps I did have reasons for fights. I know it's probably my own insecurities. I just find it so hard to meet someone I really like. I think I only went out with him as he was into me. I'm prob just ****ed up in general. Any tips on how to meet someone you click with as I find it darned near impossible and I'll prob just start fights with them too.

i think the thing to learn here is that if you are with someone three months and you are fighting after week 2, youre probably not inline for marriage. stop wasting your own time and move on. if you want to meet someone great, then try them all.
its a numbers game. most people will tell you you have to kiss a whole lot of frogs to get a prince. some epopel are lucky, and only kiss 1 or 2. the rest of us however have got chapped lips and warts from so much frog kissing. hell, i went through more women than most people, but you know what, i found the right one in the end. and you know what, i actually had fun finding her.

if you think you have your own insecurities, and you do, we all do, then i suggest you figure out what they are. if you are unhappy that you are not getting responses from your boyfriend, then you are probably one of those high maintenance and clingy people.
and you know what?

thats ok!

being high maintenance is not bad! blokes will tell you that when they are 20 and they want a girlfriend, but also want to go out drinking with their mates, but when you get older, a bloke loves a girlfriend who will alwys be there for him. high maintenace is not bad. you just need a guy who wants a high maintenace girlfriend. its easy.

figure out who you are, and then figure out the type of bloke you want. and then go out and find him...

stop worrying about whos fault the fights were. you were probably both equally at fault in my experience. move on and forget about him already.

IANOC

the start of a relationship is always the most important
as its the building of the foundation if you will

now if its a tough and unpleasant start
its not going to be memorable or strong is it?

you must look for the good things and strong points at the beginning of a relationship
then you can work on the bad things , as the strong points from the beginning can motivate both parties to try and work and respect each other

Best of luck

TattyTeddy

Thanks, harsh but true.....everone else was just harsh! I don't know if it's just me, but I find it so darned hard to meet anyone! I mean, the only place I'd really meet anyone is in pubs/clubs and I usually only get the creepy pervs! Any advice? Please don't say online as I'm not that desperate... yet!

LundiMardi

After seeing one or two other threads you've started in PI, i really think you should look at yourself. You're relying on men WAYYY too much for your self confidence, it's NOT the way to go and it will only make you that little bit more fúcked up in the future.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but tbh i think you're the kind of girl most men want to stay away from as much as possible.

Just stay single for a while and work on your own self confidence.

TattyTeddy

Cheers but maybe deep down I am. I really don't rely on them at all! Spent the majority of my teens happily single, don't need to be with someone to feel good! Just used to it. I think I subconsiously sabotage every relationship anyway. I think u all have me painted as a clingy high maintence weirdo! Not true, only became clingy coz I knew relationship was ending. I admit, I am quite high maintenence tho. |Think you're right about staying single, need to figure myself out a bit!

IANOC

TattyTeddy wrote:

Thanks, harsh but true.....everone else was just harsh! I don't know if it's just me, but I find it so darned hard to meet anyone! I mean, the only place I'd really meet anyone is in pubs/clubs and I usually only get the creepy pervs! Any advice? Please don't say online as I'm not that desperate... yet!

id steer cleer of pubs , clubs , and online if i was you

most guys you meet in pubs and clubs are just after a bit of
"hows your father"

onliners can be a bit freaky or dangerous

TBH babe just go were you feel comfortable and where you like
that way you should hopefully meet someone of the same interests and personality

TattyTeddy

Cheers, just so hard! I have this unbelieveable urge to buy a ticket somewhere and move! Life is just stress stress stress and I not exaggerating, I really just want some lcuk. Have had a really tough life and people keep saying they don't know how I cope and I just shrug it offf but to be honest, I don't know how I cope and I feel like I'm slowly going insane

LundiMardi

Well you make your own luck

IANOC

try not to think of it too much
it will only damage your mental health
you are who you are and nobody can take that away from you
things will get better for you if you really believe it

just be positive even in the face of gloom
it will help your personality/outlook also

if you ever need a chat
im a good listener

hope things work out for you

WhiteWashMan

TattyTeddy wrote:

Cheers, just so hard! I have this unbelieveable urge to buy a ticket somewhere and move! Life is just stress stress stress and I not exaggerating, I really just want some lcuk. Have had a really tough life and people keep saying they don't know how I cope and I just shrug it offf but to be honest, I don't know how I cope and I feel like I'm slowly going insane

no offence, but thats just self indulgent, melodramatic teen angst.

we all have a tough life. start doing something about it, and stop wallowing in self pity. its no wonder you cant find anyone you like.

vibe666

it sounds to me like you're not happy enough with yourself to be happy with someone else.

make a conscious decision to stick it out on youre own for a bit. when you are happy and confident that you don't need a man, one will most likely come along.

i was on my own 2 years before i found the right one, and it only happened because i was happy enough with myself that she saw the real me without all the baggage of the past. she was the same, and we haven't looked back.

Son_of_Belial

TattyTeddy wrote:

I'm actually in my early twenties honey, and I also didn't pick fights, I think I'm being too harsh on myself. I just wrote that down without thinking. iwas with someone before who constantly told me I was picking fights for no reason etc so I think thats why I think that. Can I please get a little sympathy?

You have my sympathy hon. Guys, seriously, back off of TattyTeddy (braces self for flaming). First of all Tatty, like most people have not-so-tactfully pointed out, picking fights is not a good idea. Also, sleeping with you and then dumping you is so not on. I hate to say it, but he was using you. I can see why you'd be wary of men and of what some of us have to say, but we're not all bad. I'm in my early twenties too (22) and I've had my fair share of false starts. I don't mean to brag or anything, but I've had three girlfriends in as many months, and my last girlfriend and I broke up only on Friday just gone! In fairness, I wouldn't be "looking for love" at this stage in your life. If it happens consider it as a bonus, but it's hardly a serious let-down if you don't. At our age we should be out having fun! Obviously, we need to be careful when it comes to STIs and unplanned pregnancy, but keep it simple and light-hearted! Picking fights with us lads is exhausting. Any time I've had a ruck with a girlfriend I'm always left totally worn out, dreading when the phone goes off with yet another irate text message! You got hurt - it happens to us all. Every single person reading this thread has or will have been hurt at some point and will countless times again. It's part of life. Think of it like when you were a kid and you were learning to ride a bike (let's keep the sniggers to a minimum kids!). You fell off quite a few times, but you got back on again. Everyone has had bad luck, but there's no point in crying over spilt milk. What's done is done. Maybe you pushed this guy a bit too much and he also had no business sleeping with you just before ditching you. Learn from it and move on - and hey, if you feel like you could just go out with someone to have fun with, come up to Dublin and lay off the picking fights, I'm now officially back on the singles scene!

ionapaul

^^^ Did you have Jerry Springer's best-selling book 'My Closing Thoughts and How I Wrote Them' open in front of you while writing the above post?

Very unhelpful statement, sorry powers-that-be

Son_of_Belial

ionapaul wrote:

^^^ Did you have Jerry Springer's best-selling book 'My Closing Thoughts and How I Wrote Them' open in front of you while writing the above post?

Very unhelpful statement, sorry powers-that-be

Lol, he wrote a book?! Dear God... "Take care of yourselves.... and each other." Lol

TattyTeddy

Thanks man. Must just say though, I wasn't "looking for love" quite the contrary in fact. It was HIM who said he loved ME etc!!! I'd quite happily have just had him as a shag buddy from day one but he wasn't on for that!!

secret_squirrel

If this is true

TattyTeddy wrote:

don't need to be with someone to feel good!

then why did you post this 10 mins earlier?

TattyTeddy wrote:

but I find it so darned hard to meet anyone!

To be honest you have made several contradictory posts on this thread - which either goes to show what kind of state of mind you are in, or that you are attention seeking. TBH I think you're tending to the latter or maybe both.

Just have a look back a just your own posts and ask if you have presented anything at all consistent. You need some major time out - to find yourself and to sort out your head.

You are coming across as your own worst enemy, and sounding like you have a lot of maturing still to do....

Good luck with it....

Zulu

TattyTeddy wrote:

Thanks man. Must just say though, I wasn't "looking for love" quite the contrary in fact. It was HIM who said he loved ME etc!!! I'd quite happily have just had him as a shag buddy from day one but he wasn't on for that!!

...and thats exactly why you're so upset over it? :rolleyes:

TattyTeddy

secret_squirrel wrote:

If this is true



then why did you post this 10 mins earlier?



To be honest you have made several contradictory posts on this thread - which either goes to show what kind of state of mind you are in, or that you are attention seeking. TBH I think you're tending to the latter or maybe both.

Just have a look back a just your own posts and ask if you have presented anything at all consistent. You need some major time out - to find yourself and to sort out your head.

You are coming across as your own worst enemy, and sounding like you have a lot of maturing still to do....

Good luck with it....

Thanks but it IS possible to WANT to find someone but not necessily NEED to be with someone to be happy

Sleepy

TattyTeddy, the first step to beating a problem is to accept that it exists. Simply pretending that you have self-confidence can be an effective technique for overcoming the problem but first you have to accept that there's a problem and start pretending rather than lying to yourself.

Son_of_Belial

TattyTeddy wrote:

I'd quite happily have just had him as a shag buddy from day one but he wasn't on for that!!

**Splutter, cough, choke** He did what?! OMG, that's the best thing ever! Hey, I like the sound of you more and more! I've done the whole Fvck Buddies thing a few times and it's great (so long as emotions don't get involved).

Although, childishness aside, what if you were fvck buddies, and then he got a girlfriend and ended your little arrangement. Would you be p1ssed at this?

TattyTeddy

Hmmm... C things have changed now as he rang me today asking me to get back with him but I've been thinking it not a good idea but not sure. I would like to be shag buddies but to be honest, I think I'd be upset if I saw him with someone else

Son_of_Belial

Then it's not a good idea. As for getting back with him now, I'd advise against it... He's dumped you already, don't give him carte blanche to do it again. Make him see what he's just thrown away. That'll probably be the worst punishment. The realisation that he can't ever have you anymore. If you know you're going to be somewhere where he'll see you, wear a short skirt and high heels, fake tan whatever, doll yourself up to the nines and then be really palsy-walsy and flirtatious with other guys in front of him. It'll drive him nucking futs! and he'll see what a total idiot he was to have ditched you. Problem is that you need to be strong as well, and no matter how much he grovels at your manicured toe-nails in your best strappy shoes, don't budge in your resolve. It'll bother him for weeks. Trust me. There's nothing worse for a guy than seeing something that he could have had any time he wanted at one point, denied him forever, even though it's dangled right under his nose.

TattyTeddy

hhhmmmmmm i like your thinking but I really think I should put my game playing in the past!!! One more chance I shall grant him but then thats it completely.

Son_of_Belial

Well it's your funeral...

shellby

TattyTeddy wrote:

hhhmmmmmm i like your thinking but I really think I should put my game playing in the past!!! One more chance I shall grant him but then thats it completely.

what do think it's going to achieve cause i can tell you right now another break up and when that happens whats your next thread gonna be "what did i do to deserve this"
darling its written all over the three pages infront of you don't do it if you were insecure about the relationship before what do think its gonna be like now the guy slept with you then dumped you that's called a severence s**g sweetie and shows he has no respect for you
i know the only thing you want now is for someone to tell you that your making the right decision but no no no no no no your not
you need to find yourself who you are and what you want and you won't if your with someone who takes advantage of your insecurities which by the way would be alot less if you were in a trusting loving and caring relationship

don't be a fool girl there's nothing to gain but another heart ache and nothing to loose but your self respect

but if you do get back with him i bet the first thing he wants is a s**g then you'll know what he's like but you probably won't do anything about it anyway

Zulu

TattyTeddy wrote:

One more chance I shall grant him but then thats it completely.

...from the sounds of it, you deserve it.

shellby

Zulu wrote:

...from the sounds of it, you deserve it.

deserves what another heart ache
if thats the case normally i would agree because only a fool would put themselves back in that situation
but i have been that fool you think its the easier option but its NOT