Should I ring the Guards for my Dad at this stage?

AnnieinDundrum

his doctor and the the public health nurse are the people to call.

there are dressing clinics where his infections can be treated, the nurses will call to his house if he can’t get to them.

He may not have dementia he may have mental health issues or it could be the infection altering his behaviour.

A hospital stay might cure him and get him back on his feel. Perhaps a period of convalescent after his infections are gone

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058380259/should-i-ring-the-guards-for-my-dad-at-this-stage

Hi Sherry sorry for your situation BUT my advice to you is to contact the Alzheimers Society of Ireland asap and who hold open discussions /meetings in their HQ in Blackrock county Dublin ( across the road from the BMW garage) I had to do this a few years ago for Dad @74yrs and they were great and i learnt a lot there in 3 hours about what was going on with dad's mind. Sorry but your dad is probably going to get worse and may get very hard to handle but the training you will have got in A.S.I in Blackrock will help you to handle the situation better . My dad was getting very aggressive at times and again the ASI training really helped. I am concerned you say that your father wont take his meds and this will not help him as his meds can stop damage to his short term memory ( stop him having mini strokes damaging his mind) and this could be a problem. Again please think about phoning the A.S.I . Best of luck

kravmaga

Op, the Police/Garda have no interest in your Dads case as its a civil matter between you, him and his GP, HSE etc.

So its not a criminal matter , I hope your getting this message through, so many other posters have told you the same.

bobbyD1978

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826671#Comment_122826671

Do you want him arrested? If so, for what and utilising what powers?

happyoutscan

Absolutely no point in going near the Gardai, nothing to do with them.

You need to have him assessed by his GP. Inform the GP you are concerned about your fathers well fare etc.

Also, no harm in you reading up on the Fair Deal Nursing Home Scheme.

1123heavy

I have had the pleasure of having to deal with a wayward parent. It is scary, tiring and can be lonely. I wish you the best in handling it.

Regarding the Gardai, they generally won't be able to help. If they did show up, their presence may get his attention. However all they'll be able to do is advise him to get help and they may reference him some organisations that can help. They may have a private (friendly) chat with him to understand what is going on.

HOWEVER, the caveat to the above, is that to get them out he has to have done something against the law or has come extremely close to - or made a serious attempt at self harm. This is all that is going to get them out to you.

For example, I had a parent that suffered alcoholism and spiralling depression. At one stage, they insisted on getting behind the wheel whilst under influence. I wasn't physically present to stop it. I alerted the gardai. They caught up with the parent. Asked them out the car. Had a very strong conversation with them (the wakeup call that was needed). Took them down to the local station and had another private conversation. They gave a reference to a local hospital/psychiatrist. Everything they did was with care, understanding and empathy - yet they maintained enough "strictness" to make them realise they seriously needed to get themselves sorted. Thankfully this was the rock bottom, and they have been on the mend since. I pray everyday they never go back.

The Gardai were heroes in this case and they all deserve medals for this case alone. Apologies for the drift, it was just to highlight the exact situation that will get the gardai out. Not he is refusing to leave his home that he is currently (legally?) occupying. Don't lose hope however of fixing things.

rowantree18

Infection on both feet could be related to uncontrolled diabetes? Which, if it hasn't been diagnosed can be the cause of some erratic behaviour. The Infection can also be related to vascular disease - also a cause of dementia-like presentation. Either way, sounds like he needs a thorough medical work-up to diagnose any physical issues contributing to his other issues, if those are ruled out, then a full neuro and psych work-up to rule out brain tumours alzheimers etc , and the psych review formental health. Once you've a clearer picture of what is going on his place of care requirements are more easily identified.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826671#Comment_122826671

what crime has he committed??? That's what Guards deal with. Has some one been appointed power of attorney over your dad, if not that's the first step that must be done.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122827149#Comment_122827149

🫣🫣

Sherry1975

****UPDATE****

My Dad's letting agent has sent me an email with issues concerning my Dad, leaving threatening messages on the Landlords answering machine, shouting at Tenants in the morning going to work, banging on walls, and mainly breaching the peace in the flat complex

he is refusing his GP and medication that he needs

My question is it the onus on myself to get the Guards involved or does the Letting Agent have to take this step?

3DataModem

"My question is it the onus on myself to get the Guards involved or does the Letting Agent have to take this step?"

• it all depends on what you want to happen. You don't HAVE to do anything, just let events unfold. The landlord or agent will complain about the threats to the guards, and that will have consequences for your dad. They then might initiate eviction proceedings due to anti-social behaviour, and that will have consequences for your dad.
• If you care about what happens to your dad, then do the thing that is best for him; in this case (based on what you've said) he is close to incapable of living supervised so therefore you need to find a place for him unsupervised, whether it is a nursing home or elsewhere. Saying "he refused it" is like a parent saying "my 15 year old refuses to go to school"… there's a point they don't get to choose, and sometimes you need assistance (GP, sectioning, etc) to make that happen.

The problem in these cases as I see it is the attempts at piecemeal intervention. The gardai won't make him take medication, but they might arrest him for breach of the peace if he gives them grief, which will - I can assure you - accelerate his eviction.

Decide what you want to happen, decide how much you want to help make that happen, then act (using others to help) as much as you can.

Tork

You didn't give us any details about your family circumstances but this is where you need to think carefully about what your role in your father's future might be. Even though you believe he is senile and should be in a nursing home, the path that might bring him there isn't as fast or as smooth as you'd like it to be. If he is evicted from his flat, you will be pressurised to take him in. This is going to sound incredibly selfish but if you don't want to be forced into being his carer, you have to start saying No right away. Our services are overstretched and if they can fob him off onto you or cut back on any home help type services, they will.

rowantree18

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122834400#Comment_122834400

As someone working in the health service, I second this, it is 100% true. Services are so overstretched that if they can fob him off on you, they will. You'll need to be firm from the get go that you are not in a position to look after him. I see everyday that people who know how to work the system get everything and those who don't are fobbed off. You'll need to say something vague about "family problems " that there's no way you can take him, insist a medical social worker gets involved, insist your finances are in difficulty (I've seen people from the fanciest roads in the country do this). Do not take him even for a night - they'll then say he has a place of care and it'll be years before you get him in somewhere.

If there's loadsa money, or you actively wish to care for him at home, then disregard.

Sherry1975

just an update I am the OP

looks like my Dad is Going to go Homeless he has been threatening the Landord recently and I think the Landlord has had enough of his Anti Social Behaviour around the Flat Complex

I am just curious to know what notice period is an Eviction notice, he has been at this address for 5 years so would it be 28 days from the date of a letter or longer?

wildwillow

180 days based on length of tenancy. However 28 days where he has been in breach of his tenancy agreement. But an appeal to the RTB can garner him months and months of extra time as they are firmly on the side of the tenant. Even if the Landlord is allowed to remove him, he can delay the process and must be brought to court to vacate the property.

xyz13

He won't be made homeless, he owns a house in the city center 🤓 yet is on HAP living elsewhere.

NIMAN

This thread is a windup folks, stop feeding the troll

Tork

So he does. Send him to live there, problem solved

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058380255/no-folio-number-for-my-dads-property