Should I ring the Guards for my Dad at this stage?

Sherry1975

Hi all
I have a Dad who is close to 70 years old and who is living in a flat. His mental health is beginning to deteriorate turning Senile and Paranoid with old age, he is refusing a Nursing Home and Medication from his GP (i don't know the Reason)

His contract on his flat is up in March 2025 and he will have nowhere to live in March but is still refusing a Nursing Home

do you think I rang the Guards they would give me some help with my Dad at least talk to him about the situation he is in

I have tried Alone.ie they are a charitable organization that deals with older people's mental health and accommodation but he refused their help as well

I know the Guards can't force medication or a Nursing home on my Dad but I have no choices left

argentum

Does he have a doctor that you know of as unfortunately it might be a case of him needing to be sectioned into a nursing home or hospital for his own good

Sherry1975

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826629#Comment_122826629

Hi, thanks for the reply,

I already had an appointment with his Doctor and he called out, unfortunately, my Dad was not in at the time,

ill wait and see what the Guards say , thank you

This is not an issue for the guards, its a healthcare issue. You need to engage with the GP to start get the process started.

Victor

"His contract on his flat is up in March 2025 and he will have nowhere to live in March but is still refusing a Nursing Home"

He is likely entitled to extend the lease indefinitely, with minimal rent increases.

Start with the GP, the HSE. Involving the Garda is unlikely to be good.

Tork

Have you spoken to his GP and expressed your concerns to them? While there are limits to what a GP can discuss with you for now, there has to be some sort of procedure for this sort of thing. I can't see what use the guards would be in this situation. He hasn't done anything wrong and if he's paranoid, this will only feed into it. Your best strategy is to put pressure on his GP and to find out who in the HSE deals with cases like this. Do you know who the local public health nurse is, for example?

You are going to have to keep chasing this up because it suits everybody else to kick this into touch.

Sherry1975

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826663#Comment_122826663

already tried the GP, no other choice but the Guards …

Tork

Have you made contact with the HSE? I cannot for the life of me see why the guards would be helpful.

Deeec

You need to engage with his GP and get a diagnosis for him. If he has dementia a nursing home may be the best option for him. If he has mental health issues a nursing home would not take him.

70 is on the younger side to need a nursing home. Its possible he is just stuck in a rut and needs a social life and a purpose - this happens often in older people - they get fed up and kind of give up.

Can you explain his behaviour and we may be able to advise.

HeidiHeidi

Seriously, what do you think that the guards might be able to do? Continue to try to engage with the GP, get the GP to try more than once to see your Dad, get on to the HSE or your local community services.

Who is the contract on his flat with? Get on to them and/or the RTB to see if he can actually be "evicted" - has he even been given proper notice?

This a health and housing issue, not one of law enforcement.

Speedsie

Have you tried to contact the local Public Health Nurse as suggested?

Have you contacted his landlord re extending lease?

70 is young enough.

Lauras5839

From personal experience, the guards won't help. My own father had serious mental health issues and they wouldn't step in until he was literally committed to a mental health institution and even then they only minded him while the GP came followed by the staff from the mental health hospital. I agree with everyone else here, get onto the GP and public health nurse and make a nuisance of yourself until they listen to you.

If he becomes a clear and present danger to himself or others then the guards can get involved but otherwise they won't and can't help.

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826671#Comment_122826671

The guards can't and won't do anything, so they aren't a choice.

Paulzx

You need to contact the relevant HSE Safeguarding team for your region. Self neglect of elderly people comes under their remit. They do not just cover Abuse of the elderly.

https://safeguardingireland.org/self-neglect-blog/

I would highly recommend that you contact them for advice and assistance

Sadb

Has he actually been to his own gp for a thorough check up? I certainly wouldn’t consider late 60’s to be “old age” and experiencing senility. Could there be something else going on?

Tork

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826737#Comment_122826737

I know somebody who received a dementia diagnosis when they were considerably younger than that.

Mrs OBumble

Any chance he would try a consultation with a different GP? They have been known to say something is dementia cos it's the easy option.

That said Public Health Nurse is the right way to go if he does need care.

Sadb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826754#Comment_122826754

Absolutely, Alzheimer’s, for example, can usually strike at a younger age. But beginning to experience old age senility in your late 60s wouldn’t be the norm I would have thought.

Of course, there could be other issues here and this person may have been experiencing mental health issues for some time.

Tork

Another thing to bear in mind is that the HSE is notorious for trying to fob people off onto relatives. Should your father receive help, they'll only be waiting for an excuse to withdraw it again.

Sherry1975

thanks for your replies

he is nearly 70, has infections on both feet, and the aid of a crutch to walk the odd time, i know what he is going to do when the contract is up on his flat he will book into a B&B or Hotel and try and live from there, a Nursing home is the best place for him but he is refusing to go, that's why I want the Guards Involved so they can talk to him about the situation he is in.

Tork

The guards are not trained for this sort of thing and they have protocols. They will boomerang this straight back to the HSE. You need to start banging their doors down, not the guards. Also, he may not be considered to be sick enough to go into a nursing home. Most people go into nursing homes when they're in far worse condition than this.

HeidiHeidi

Again, who is the contract on the flat actually with? Have they given proper notice, can they actually remove him?

There was a time when Gardai were willing to "have a quiet word" outside their remit, but these days much less so, the risk of getting into serious trouble for exceeding their powers is too high. I know it would be at your request but I'd be surprised if any of them would get involved (I hope I'm wrong, I do see your point as your Dad is probably very old school and would respect Gardai - but as someone else pointed out if he's showing signs of paranoia already that could backfire badly as well).

The Gardai are not the solution to your problems unfortunately.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122826790#Comment_122826790

Ok are the infections being treated? Infections in older people can make people act strange and appear like they are not being rational. The guards cannot convince or make him go to a nursing home - that is not their job.

Im not sure a nursing home is the best place longterm for a 69 year old with infections. If the infections are treated he may be fine again and able to care for himself. Have you spoke to the council regarding his housing need - Would be qualify for social housing?

Had a similar issue, you need to hound the HSE to get a mental health nurse out to the flat who should call at least once a month. When I mean hound I mean hound them until they visit. These mental health nurses visit all over Ireland for people with mental illness but it can be tough getting them on the list.

You can then discuss with them options available. You can tell them about been senile and getting the appropriate help then. You could possibly get him sectioned if really bad and will get the help he needs then.

looksee

Sherry, it seems as though you have to get the Gardai thing out of your system. Go and talk to them and they will refuse to have anything to do with the situation and refer you to the HSE. But if you need to do this before you will believe and accept that they are not an option, then go and talk to them. Or, just possibly, they might give you a number for the district nurse or someone else who can help you, but they can't do anything directly.

Then start chasing the district nurse, his GP, or if you have a GP yourself you might ask for advice - explain your anxiety about the situation and they may be able to point you in the right direction.

Who treated his feet - supplied the crutch etc? You should try and get him back to his GP to treat the infection, go with him if he will let you, and that might offer a way of getting further help for him.

Does he have a realistic idea of what a B&B would cost him? Even if they were willing to take him on?

Get the infection treated first though.

Mrs OBumble

Can he afford to book into a hotel or b&b?

If he can, and can find one to take him, then it may be a better option than a nursing home.

Sherry1975

thanks for the suggestions guys

I will look for the HSE public Nurse in his area, i will also contact the Guards as and see what they say

Many thanks

Tork

Best of luck Sherry - I hope your father gets the help he needs. The most important thing from your end is to stay on top of this. Unfortunately, our services are very overstretched and it can be a struggle to access necessary help. It is a case of the squeaky wheel getting the most oil. It isn't unreasonable to expect that you will find yourself having to call people repeatedly and chasing things up because nothing seems to be happening.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122827397#Comment_122827397

What exactly are you expecting the Guards to do?

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122827397#Comment_122827397

You will be wasting your time and the Guards time. They can't do anything. You need to realise that and not come back asking here every few months about whether you should do it - the answer will remain no.

Guffy

Contact your local safeguarding team.