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Something doesn't feel right

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,026 YellowLead
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    It wasn’t just the expectation that you would pay for everything though was it - it was also the fact she wanted you to change how you dressed. The ‘making you feel special’ is a tactic to reel you in. If she liked and respected you she would not be wanting to change you and would offer to pitch in at least some of the time.

    The mutual friend is just miffed because she thought she was on to a good thing being match maker - the two of them probably can’t believe you are standing up for yourself and that the faux charm didn’t work. I don’t think she’s a real friend if she’s giving out to you for deciding not to see her new friend anymore - you don’t owe anyone anything. And that one isn’t your ex based on a few dates!!!! If she was calling you her boyfriend so soon that’s another mahoosive red flag by the way.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,132 Idle Passerby
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    The friend wading into this has a strong reek of being patronising towards you. Your a grown man, you can date or not date whoever you want. It's nobodies business but yours and the other party.

    I could be barking up the wrong tree but is it possible this friend thinks of you lonely and a bit "harmless" (pleasant but dull). The kind that thinks you should be happy that a woman even looked at you? Because someone who respects you isn't going to be engineering you into a relationship you don't want.

    Also, it's not very adult behaviour to stick your oar in with people who've had a few dates and decided it wasn't for them. Ignore her.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,617 Tork
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    What age is this lady and does she have any children? The speed at which this progressed is a huge red flag to me. Far more than her not paying for things. If her biological clock is ticking and she has never managed to bag a man, it would explain a lot.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,996 Sunny Disposition
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    Do not go back, don’t even consider it. It is the road to a lifetime of misery.

    You did the right thing, definitely. Don’t indulge that person who was giving out to you for not entering into a relationship you didn’t want to be in. It’s a ridiculous thing for her to have done.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 523 piston
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    I've thought about this a lot from day one. She is 38.

    And no children.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,026 YellowLead
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    Well there you have it. Just to be clear most 38 year old women won’t act that way, but the rushing of things and the trying to mould you is a sure sign she is one of a certain type. She’d be getting pregnant and moving in after no time, have you fund her being a SAHM while giving out to you for not being good enough. Serious bullet dodged my friend!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 432 Iguarantee
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    Run a **** mile from any future communication or contact.



  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,567 squonk
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    You made the right decision OP. FWIW you’ll gave a moment of wondering every so often if you did the right thing and maybe thinking you overreacted but you made the right decision and for well considered reasons so always remind yourself of that whenever you think to second busses yourself. She should have accepted you for who you are. Sometimes too as we get older we get a bit set in our ways and there’s nothing wrong with a new partner gently prodding you to maybe change a few things, but from the point of view of maybe getting you a new shirt or something different than your usual but this was way OTT altogether. It was never going to be a serious relationship. Well done Zop. Hope things are still going well for you.



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 8,161 HildaOgdenx
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    Mod - As the OP has not returned to the thread for quite some time, I am closing it at this point.

    OP, if you wish to have the thread reopened, just drop a PM to me or any of the PI mods.

    Thanks all who took time to give advice.

    Hilda



This discussion has been closed.
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