Should We Live Next Door to the Her Parents?

Gary_dunne

Thanks for all the advice, very much taken on board. In regards to tax considerations, the land will be in my partner's name with a joint mortgage and a separate contract between us in the event of a break up. The CAT will be paid in the long run on her inheritance which essentially has made this more of a loan now that we know we will be paying back in the future.

She has one brother who has given the go ahead and understands the implications on the value of the property in the event of the parent's passing. He plans to buy the parents house when (hopefully not for a long time) the parents pass.

On the quotes, I was also very surprised but he has stated that it will not be more than 300k unless we want to add extreme extras or upgrades. I understand from watching Room to Improve that things notoriously go over budget however we do have one without the HTB of 375k as it is so cost has not been the major concerns.

Boundaries will be set in regards to dropping over unannounced because that will not be happening. I just wanted to see if people had any experience both positive and negative.

They are extremely kind and generous people who just want to give us a leg up on the annoyingly expensive property ladder and I understand how lucky we are to have this opportunity.

chiefwiggum

Exactly what we did. We built on a site given to us by her parents. Literally a hedge between us..couldn't have been happier the last 15 yrs .

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121690437#Comment_121690437

Maybe it's an urban / rural difference? It would depend on how often you see people I guess. If for example it was a family member or neighbour that you only see occasionally, it would be wise to phone first to check they'd be in etc. But if you see people often as likely in the OPs case, then rurally it would conversely be a bit rude to phone or txt.

wildwillow

This happens all the time down the country. We gave a site to my son and daughter in law but it is not immediately adjacent to our home. We can’t see their comings and goings, nor do we want to. They are welcome to sell it if they want. No strings attached.

It can be very difficult if you break up in the future, when you are married. Hope that never happens but you need to think about that scenario. You need clear title with no reservations.

Respect on both sides is so important. My son pops in to me regularly but will always ring first. My wonderful daughter in law will always call or text if she needs to call.

I wouldn’t dream of dropping in to them unannounced, I do take care of the children regularly but only if it suits me. Grandparents shouldn’t be full time childminders.

Set boundaries on both sides and you will live harmoniously.

Get another quote for the building and compare with the existing one. Seems far too cheap. You need an architect or engineer to supervise and sign off on the building. I would at least have a quantity surveyor check the numbers. Have you costed getting planning and levies and other charges associated with a new build?

Oblivion1970

I like the bit where you say you get to design your own home. I did exactly that. And like you I was also gifted a site by my mother adjacent to her property. I'm not an architect but I planned every room, every nook and cranny of my home and I absolutely loved doing it. A tip is to go out to a beach [plenty in Dublin] and draw out your home plan on the sand, stand back and look at it. You get a great overview of how much space you need for each room, hallway, landing etc. I was nearly sorry I didn't make a career out of it [lol] But there really is a wonderful satisfaction in you literally being the architect of your own space.

Re boundaries, they are absolutely vital for all parties. My mother was inclined to pop in unannounced in the early days which caused a fair few disagreements, but she eventually got the message. Now she is old and that's another advantage, she's close enough for me to keep a good eye on her, yet she still gets to live independently and I have my privacy.

Go for it, OP. I realise with you, it's parents in law, but with boundaries it shouldn't be a problem and as somebody else said, you've won the lotto!

cj maxx

As above , with set boundaries I don’t see a problem . No swapping of keys , at least not on your side . I don’t know your situation re kids etc but it could be a godsend in years to come . Lay boundaries with your inlaws and go for it imo

Gary_dunne

Thanks to all for the advice and opinions. Boundaries will most definitely be set and there'll be no dropping in unannounced.

We've decided to go ahead with it and have started the design planning stage. I know this will not be in the correct topic but we've been quoted €6.5k from an architect and engineer to do up the designs and submit the planning application. Does this seem a reasonable figure?

Hard to find any concrete figures online or on other threads.

Hannibal_Smith

Hey @Gary_dunne, that's great you've made a decision. All the best with it.

As you've resolved your issue and the advice is moving from Personal Issue territory to more of construction, I'mgoing to close the thread there.

However there is a Construction and Planning forum here which you might find a benefit.

Good luck with it all.

HS