Black tie weddings

Beta Ray Bill

No one is doing you a favour asking you to go to a wedding.

It's seriously one of the worst things in the world. The expense of it... Suit/Dress, gift, drink, hotel, time off work. And many weddings are 2/3 day events now. Two people would easily spend €1,000 as guests at a wedding. If it's a wedding abroad expect to pay more.

This black tie BS is insult to injury... Come and look at us for 8 hours and make sure you're dressed like penguin.

The other thing that REALLY grinds my gears is invites that arrive TWO F**KING YEARS in advance with "Save the date". So there's no chance of you already having something booked. And you have to decline and then you get the flack.

I think the wedding piss take culture deserves it's own thread on after hours

lbunnae

Not much to say here , they are entitled to have whatever dress code they want and you are entitled to accept or decline.

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121553522#Comment_121553522

Yes- and you also get the cool trendy types who’ll wear like velvet green jackets , dark trousers and a black tie, not a dickie bow- it’s totally acceptable - that’s the way I’d likely go if invited to one these days- but isn’t a black tie wedding a very 80s early 90s kind of thing? It screams control and notions of oneself

Bluefoam

Give over, either go or don't go... stop moaning about it.

One plus is that most other costs at a black tie event are covered, like the bar... so that's a plus. I bought a tux years ago when I was in my 30's and going to lots of weddings... It comes in handy on the rare occasion and i need one & it cost me the same as renting one. Head into M&S and see if a tux is covered in the sale, they do alterations for free...

Timfy

Black tie seems strange for a wedding... it's normally a morning suit.

RoboRat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121560564#Comment_121560564

If you read the post you would see that I was happy to decline. I didn't want to make a big song and dance about it but I was getting flack from family and relatives.

I already posted that I have decided to go as it's not worth the hassle and falling out with family over. I never thought of M&S for a tux... I will have a look later as I don't want to rent one and if they alter for free, even better. I still don't agree with the idea of a black tie wedding and if I thought that declining wouldn't cause problems, I wouldn't go.

GAAcailin

Black tie is pure annoying; easier for us gals but still my OH hates it.

Have some Dutch friends and they can't get over the hype/fuss with Irish weddings. Most of my girlfriends wouldn't dream of wearing the same outfit to two separate weddings where there was some crossover of people. Had a friend that had her wedding on a Wednesday there and the after part (bbq nonsense) on the Thursday; it was down the country too so meant taking 3 days off work. Grand for the wedding couple who saved on the cost of meal / venue as midweek was cheaper but a total pain for the rest of us.

English folk don't spend nearly as much on Wedding gifts, outfits etc. My BIL is English and huge difference with spends depending on what side of the channel folk lived for my sisters wedding.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121554648#Comment_121554648

To be honest, I do get that.

Personally, I love a man in a tux, but it does have to fit right. My father was a master bespoke tailor, so I have high standards!

Hope M&S have something for you.

Skyrimaddict

Imagine black tie, in Spain in the summer !

And then having the bridal party give out that people didnt give much in presents :)

Grey123

People seem to fall into two camps.

Those who want the wedding to be everything they want and guests are there as a back drop for the photos and to show off to and those who want their guests to have a great time, want them there and so doing something like black tie which would mean you might lose some guests would be ruled out.

That said black tie seems to be more more popular in certain circles and in Dublin. If they are in that circle they may assume everything would own a tux.

lmk123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121560475#Comment_121560475

Couldn’t agree more, I’d love to never again go to one, they think their wedding is the only thing happening in everyone’s life, it’s just another wedding the same as all f*****g weddings that happened before it, and if anyone thinks that a wedding is the most important day of your life they’re deluded or else have had very sheltered cosy lives

Grayson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121552788#Comment_121552788

I know someone who had a foreign wedding. Best idea ever. Himself was a doctor and would have to invite all the consultants and registrars. It's the done thing apparently. He also had a big extended family. They had a guest list of a few hundred and when they shopped around in Ireland the cheapest they could get is about 60 euro a head.

So they had it abroad. Somewhere with cheap ryanair flights and all the invites said they'd completely understand if the guest couldn't make it. They paid for the flights and hotel for their parents and brothers/sisters. And they gave a years notice.

In the end they had about 40 people there. It was a small intimate wedding. Great food and drink and the people they really wanted to be there, were there. It worked out cheaper for everyone since a weeks hotel there was a couple of nights in Ireland. And the reception only cost a few thousand. I swore if I got married I'd do the same.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121552630#Comment_121552630

You could alternately go with the more polite "ah feck, I won't be able to make that" rather than going straight for the nuclear option of "stick your invite up your hole"

John_Rambo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121560966#Comment_121560966

It's pretty rare to have a black tie wedding in Dublin, they tend to be more low key. These rural/traveller style weddings are more of a country thing, hundreds of guests, money collections, multiple groomsmen & bridesmaids, black tie formal wear etc...

I guarantee you the wedding in question isn't a Dublin one.

Notions.

Dav010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121561273#Comment_121561273

Good God.

John_Rambo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121561368#Comment_121561368

I know. I was at one recently in the Midlands by accident, over 300 at it, canteen food, envelopes full of cash and of course "black tie". Earlier poster was correct, looked like a GAA prize giving.

blue5000

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121554605#Comment_121554605

I was only ever at one black tie wedding, like you I was dead against being told what to wear so I grew a rat tail and had a plait in it for the wedding. Incidentally it was a guard's wedding.

If I were you I'd stay at home, the family will get over it.

Dav010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121563048#Comment_121563048

Were to 10 at the time?

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121560617#Comment_121560617

I'd say the organisers aren't educated enough to know that.

Ray Palmer

How much cost is too much to spend on black tie outfit? You can by a velvet jacket in M&S 135 or 95 for tux jacket add a bow tie 20. Doesn't seem that much to me and you then have it for other events. Bow tie are no less comfortable than a tie.

Recently my new job had a black tie optional event and already had 2 velvet jackets to choose from which I bought on sale so it was very easy. Those without black tie stood out and that includes the suit and black tie people.

Women easily spend such money on shoes let alone a single outfit that has multiple uses. Am I the mad one for thinking it is a minor expense?

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121569574#Comment_121569574

Well a lot wouldn't see it as a massive expense but some would.

I rarely get asked to weddings and don't get invited to black tie events.

If I was asked to a wedding tough. I'm fairly sure I need to upgrade my suit.

I'd like to purchase a suit that I could wear to other weddings, maybe interviews and something that requires a suit.

I don't want to get an invitation asking me to wear black tie and then having to buy something that will never be worn again or having to go off renting something.

If I was like yourself and had reason to wear the black tie suit again I wouldn't have a issue in purchasing one.

I might be cheap but I hate wasting money.

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121570248#Comment_121570248

that is why a velvet jacket is probably best as it can also be casual wear and cheaper than a suit. More likely to stay fitting unlike a suit where the trousers may fluctuate a lot more. You can easily wear a velvet jacket to interviews and other weddings so probably the best value. I have only ever been at two black tie events. One of my jackets cost 1stg in a sale and another was $40 in a sale as they are handy to have. I wore another to death which is why I bought others when I saw them on sale

Trigger Happy

If I had to buy a tuxedo to go to someones wedding I would be getting something in the style of Austin Powers...get my value out of it with subsequent fancy dress parties.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121570758#Comment_121570758

Oh god no - don't wear a velvet jacket to a job interview. I hope you never actually done that.

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121570758#Comment_121570758

If I'm purchasing a jacket/a suit or any article of clothing I generally want to like it.

Black-tie velvet jackets, floral, bow ties, etc all aren't my style.

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121570904#Comment_121570904

To Jazzy for you?

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121570944#Comment_121570944

😂😂 Snazzy dressers alright

csirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121560564#Comment_121560564

Same here. Bought a cheap tux in a M&S sale c.10 years ago. Only worn it 3 x times but cost less than 1 x rental and is altered to fit me.

CramCycle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121560649#Comment_121560649

I got a tux in M&S 13 years ago, have worn it to about 6 events since. Great value for €90. Alas you are looking at closer to €200 nowadays, rental will probably be €120 (a guess). If you think you will ever have one again in the next 10 years, it is worth buying, otherwise, just don't bother.