Black tie weddings

RoboRat

I've been invited to a wedding and it's back tie. I've decided not to go and I'm getting a bit of flack now.

I personally think it's quite selfish to expect your guests to adhere to a very specific dress code like black tie, and I personally hate wearing a dicky bow as I find them very uncomfortable - I can deal with a tie, but not a dicky bow. I would be happy to go, but not in black tie... obviously that's not a possibility though.

I have nice suits that are fitted, and I know if I rent a black tie, it'll look crap because I'm quite stocky and they always end up being too long on the sleeves/ pants. I also live in the arsehole of nowhere, so I'll have to drive at least 30 - 40 mins to pick up and then drop off, and that's hassle I don't need. I really don't like the idea of renting clothes and I'm not forking out money for a suit I'll never wear again when I have perfectly good suits already.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, I'm just past putting up with people's whims, especially relating to weddings. Anyone else feel the same about a black tie wedding, or am I just being unreasonable.

Atlantic Dawn

I'd be inclined to just tell them to stick their invite up their hole if they were instructing me what to wear to it.

Victor

Just war a black tie and a suit. :)

jordata

The couple will be aware that their decision to choose a black tie theme will mean extra costs for many guests. It is acceptable for you to RSVP with a no and leave it at that. No excuses needed.

Purple Mountain

I agree totally on the principle of cost.

For the sake of impressive Instagram pics, the couple are forcing that expense on their guests.

Same goes for foreign destination weddings.

freshpopcorn

Personally I think a black-tie wedding looks like some American High school function or some GAA awards night. I never got the appeal.

Fair enough for the wedding party but I think it's a real pain to put another expense on your guests. I would maybe excuse it if the couple put a note on the invitation saying that they'd not be accepting any gifts.

lmk123

Don’t go, some people think that their wedding is the most important thing in every bodies life, I can’t understand how they don’t know that it’s just a nuisance to most people invited. I actually hate getting an invite now, just way too many over the last few years. I’m best man for one next summer and the absolute bull **** they expect of people is brutal. Anyway I’d suggest not going but give a card with €50 / €100 or whatever, that’s what I’ve done a lot over the last few years and it seems to soften the blow of not going.

dbas

Telling other people what they can wear is a bit egomaniacal. What happened to being happy that people can attend your wedding day?

Really poor form when organising a wedding to be adding to individuals costs/ hassle like that.

It'd be absolutely class if you started a house of cards, and all invited men rsvp'd No.

XsApollo

Take the cost of the suit out of the gift in the card. Expense isn’t a problem then.

JeffKenna

The last black tie wedding I went to most people just wore a dicky bow with a normal black suit and white shirt. You'd pick one up in penny's for a few euro, I wouldn't be getting at all stressed about it.

BrianD3

The fact that a couple would insist on this for friends and family raises a red flag about them - bridezillas, narcissists etc. If they then give someone flack for not attending, even more so.

Remember the previous thread on here about people being REQUIRED to have a "good excuse" for not attending a wedding and being ostracised if they don't. With many normie HR types on the thread supporting this. IT'S DE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF DER LIVES!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058294489/why-do-some-people-take-such-offence-if-you-dont-go-to-their-stag-party-or-wedding/p1

Bogwoppit

Charity shops often have good quality suits, just wear a regular black tie.

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121552788#Comment_121552788

More of a bridezilla thing than the groom having any say.

I don't see why you should get hassle over refusing to go. People choose not to go to weddings for many reasons.

Redneck Avenger

I don't see the issue with the couple wanting a black tie wedding. It's their wedding.

I also don't see an issue with someone not wanting to attend a black tie wedding.

Op. Ignore the flack and move on with your life.

Lewis_Benson

Jaysus, **** that shyte.

I'd not be going either.

jumbone

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121553003#Comment_121553003

Black tie means tuxedo and bow tie not black suit and black tie like you'd wear to a funeral.

Op says

_I have nice suits that are fitted_

So why tf would he buy a suit someone has possibly died in and then wear it with a regular tie. That's a terrible solution for OP and bride & groom.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121553066#Comment_121553066

I was at a black tie wedding recently and lots of men just had ordinary black suits and a bow tie on - some wore an ordinary tie instead of a bow tie. The suit doesn't have to be a tuxedo.

The 'black tie suit' police are not going to be standing at the door of the church or reception venue turning guests away that don't meet a certain criteria. 😂

castletownman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121553000#Comment_121553000

Notions.

From experience, anyone I know that has had a black tie wedding (and I've had a few family members do so), they usually grew up in normal backgrounds but suddenly became all high and mighty after going to college or getting an 'important' job either in Dublin or somewhere fancy abroad.

The brides in question tend to be wagons too.

Dav010

Just wear a black tie, a lot do not wear dickiebows, a lot of people have a black suit in the wardrobe so it isn’t extra expense if you have one. They are a gimmick, but are actually pretty cool at the same time.

One thing is certain, every wedding has invitees who aren’t happy about something, usually the cost of attending. In reality, they usually aren’t missed and no one wants to sit beside a guest who isn’t happy or doesn’t want to be there, I know, I’ve had that pleasure a few times.

mariaalice

Wear a dark suit get a black tie shirt and a dikiebow in M&S not mad expensive. Any couple who have a black tie wedding and they don't come from a background when men would own a black tie suit anyway, it is a bit takey, at the end of the day it's their wedding they can have what they want.

Danny healy ray

that's probably down to the brides mother full of granger nothing worse

Dav010

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121553289#Comment_121553289

She’d want to see someone about that.

Gregor Samsa

Take a leaf out of Ryan Tubridy’s book. He courageously attended a black tie event in London in a green neck tie.

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/ryan-tubridy-attends-black-tie-premiere-in-london-well-that-was-fun/a508783911.html

Xander10

Black tie for a wedding is an awful idea.

The garb for boring accountants etc at self indulgent award ceremonies.

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121553086#Comment_121553086

Probably wanted to get her notions wedding pics into the local paper.

EmmetSpiceland

I, personally, have always found the black tie dress code very handy. Makes it even easier for the lads to “suit up”.

Not sure why people seem to have a problem with others requesting it for their wedding. Although, some lads do get awfully “worked up” about people requesting they remove their shoes on entering their house too so maybe it comes from an insecurity of being told what to do?

Bogwoppit

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121553066#Comment_121553066

No sh1t! I know what a black tie suit is, I didn’t think I had to emphasise it in a thread that is literally all about black tie suits.

How likely is it that someone died in their black tie suit considering how often they’re worn? A lot less likely than in the regular clothes you see in a charity shop.

Maybe you’re getting it confused with someone wearing one in the coffin, pretty unlikely it would make it to a charity shop in that case.

Norrie Rugger Head

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121552633#Comment_121552633

Black tie will mean a tux (at minimum) and you will also get flak for that.

Tell them you're not going, it's their decision to burden their guests and they will know some people will say no because of it. If not then they are selfish c*nts and they can get stuffed anyway

BornSkippy

Black Tie is evening wear. I wouldn't hold a strict 6PM rule on it. But imposing it as the dress code for a day event, and probably morning at that, is seriously déclassé.

I'd probably go along with it, or just wear a black suit, because it's an important day for them. But I'd watch myself around that sort of crowd.

Are they planning on releasing a flock of doves into the air while they're at it?

Dav010

Jaysus, how many of the posters here have been to a black tie wedding?

I can tell you in the clearest possible terms, many guests at them wear black suits with black ties, I have been to a few of these and never worn either a tuxedo nor a dickiebow.

Purple Mountain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121552884#Comment_121552884

Ohhhh.. I think there's a good thread to be had from your stories 🤣