If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact

Less resilient youth

  • 01-03-2023 4:01pm
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭

    Is this really true? We here about it all the time about how this generation are snowflakes. Given that there more people on earth now it seems likely that there'd be more people with extreme personality traits and mental disorders than in the past. Social media also highlights fragile people and one could assume that the's the norm rather than the exception.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Whilst destigmatising and talking about mental health is always good, too much prolonged focus on it can lead to being conscious of it to the level of pre-occupation and trying to avoid all situations where opportunities to develop resilience are avoided.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,747 ✭✭✭growleaves

    I think the whole snowflake thing is oversold.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,134 ✭✭✭screamer

    Absolutely less resilient but it is the fault of their parents generation. Too much done for kids, protecting them From everything, mammy and daddy providing everything, no such thing as a part time job, no responsibility and their heads filled with bulllshit like love island. I know it’s not all kids, but plenty of them are being reared to be children not adults.

    I do feel sorry for them though, because the world is getting tougher, over population and resources tightening, will mean they need to be more resilient, and sadly so many of them do not know anything about bouncing back because they’ve never been allowed to fail and learn those essential life skills.

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 48,734 CMod ✭✭✭✭magicbastarder

    i'm just glad i grew up before social media took off.

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    It would have been an absolute nightmare for me growing g up in social media age, I’m early 60s and find it difficult enough as it is.

  • Advertisement
  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Isn't that the ultimate goal, though? Protecting the next generation as much as possible so they don't have to put up with the same crap that we did? Leaving the world and our offspring in a better spot than we found ourselves growing up is pretty much the definition of a job well done, I'd have thought? (not that I'm saying we're close to achieving that or anything).

    I mean, you had it easier than your folks did in the mid-late 90s, who had it easier than their WWII-era parents, who had a better life than the famine survivors etc. Saying "kids these days don't know how to do X, Y and Z" is akin to someone from the 1940s giving out that their kids don't have to climb up chimneys to clean them from the inside.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,624 ✭✭✭Nermal

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Boomers not understanding how young people act, how they feel, how they view society, the clothes they wear, the music they listen to etc is as old as humanity itself.

  • Registered Users Posts: 16,580 ✭✭✭✭banie01

    I've got an 18yo son and I wouldn't say he is less resilient than my own or prior generations.

    He has been through the mill and experienced more loss already in his life than most. Yet, he is a stable, happy and resilient lad. He is very involved in local causes, he has served on Comhairle and is active YAP and other projects. During lockdown he was a co-author on a study on youth mental health and in particular resilience and coping strategies that led to both a successful presentation and exhibition locally along with him and his academic co-authors presenting their study at a global conference last year in Copenhagen.

    I think the trope of snowflakes and their lack of resilience is at its core a fundamental misunderstanding of what resilience is and what it should be.

    Is it taking the knocks, learning to cope and carrying on?

    Or, is it encountering obstacles, talking through the issues and trying to change the system that threw up those obstacles in the 1st place? All whilst being aware of, and dealing with the emotional impact.

    The 2nd option is IMO far healthier and productive. It isn't just about jumping on the mental health bandwagon. It really is very much about trying to change the system.

    It's not always spoiled kids being entitled or overly indulged. Sometimes it's kids wanting to change and bucking the trend of "we've always done it this way".

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,997 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    Yeah but they are getting things done for them that don't need to be done, being collected from school when they live a 5 minute walk away.

    I know someone from eastern Europe, she has her kids who are all under 12, cooking, making their own breakfast and lunch for school, where as another Irish woman I know doesn't trust her daughter who is 15 to make a toasted sandwich for herself.

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 2,868 ✭✭✭dominatinMC

    Use of the word "boomer" immediately de-legimatises any argument/point/discussion imo. It's all this labelling, identity politics bullshit that the youth of today are seemingly preoccupied with, instead of facing the realities of life.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,134 ✭✭✭screamer

    No it isn’t, it is a parents job to raise their kids to be functional adults, able to cope with life’s normal trials and tribulations. Thinking the world will be a better place etc when we shunt off is wishful thinking, look at the war, famine, climate change, and an ever increasing human population. Younger people can’t get mortgages, lovely defined benefit pensions a thing of legend. competition is fierce and will only get worse. The world is gonna get a helluva lot tougher, and the best thing you can raise your kids to be is resilient.

  • Registered Users Posts: 14,309 ✭✭✭✭wotzgoingon

    Like everyone else back in the day I used to walk to school and make porridge for myself for breakfast and then clean up the pot and bowl and spoon and what ever else was in the sink in the morning. I woke myself up too just added that as I only realised recently that a fair amount of kids get woken up by a parent.

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,403 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice

    That is only true if doing it a better way is the answer, I can across a piece where a parent was giving out about a local school 'boasting' about academic results because it might be hurtful to those of lesser academic ability, forget about the boasting being a bit tackie, the reality is that academic ability matters no amount of changing the leaving cert will change that, nor the fact that looks matter on a dating site, so, in the end, the best way parents can promote resilience is by teaching that someone else's success does not diminish them, not be trying to bend reality for them.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,832 ✭✭✭silliussoddius

    And usually many of the “adults “‘doing the complaining are the best specimens going.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,997 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    There was an RTE Reality tv show on a few years ago about new Irish Army recruits, one of the new recruits said "its a big change being in the Army as I havent made my own bed in around 5 years". That is the kind of mollycoddled youth we have in Ireland these days.

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

    ― Socrates

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    I think that quote isn't real but you get the point

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,403 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice

    I haven't a clue what it's like to grow up saturated by social media, recently a friend became a grandparent for the first time she sent me a photo of her daughter and the new grandchild just after the birth, the woman who had just given birth had full make up on and those huge false eyelashes, I couldn't fathom how anyone had put on full makeup to give birth, someone told me its cause by TikTok and Instagram, they have to look fabulous even though they have pushed a small human out! living their best life, building their dream!.

  • Advertisement
  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,641 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,997 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    Then you have things like gender reveal parties. 🤦‍♂️ SOFT.

    If we get invaded like Ukraine, we are fcuked.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

    Actually, this is a great point.

    I've a teenage boy and talks to me about anything. He's was confused about why everyone in his peer group had so many problems. It frustrated him.

    I wasn't sure how to answer on a teenager level without saying "my god they're ridiculously trivial". I eventually did.

    It's this eternal gossip and social media that needs to be cut out. I'll sound old school but go out, kick a ball, play pool, sit on a phones...

    Post edited by Paul on

  • Registered Users Posts: 726 ✭✭✭French Toast

    There will always be well-reared kids. Those who are academically capable, have a few hobbies, a decent sense of purpose or drive and know right from wrong.

    The useless ones are becoming increasingly useless. Able to recount the movements of their favourite American TikTok star but unable to tell you which way North and South are from where they are standing.

    Before the mobile phone, you couldn't just sit on your hole for hours and do nothing, you'd get bored after a while. Now, you can.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,997 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    Are parents buying phones for their kids or are the kids buying the phones themselves? If the parents are buying them then they are idiots. Kids don't need phones, I didn't have one until I was 21.

  • Registered Users Posts: 24,953 ✭✭✭✭Strumms

    Why is there a greater lack of resilience now though ?

    has the qualities involved in parenting decreased ?..


    maybe it’s because life now, indeed for 20 odd years pre pandemic, (covid aside) hasn’t brought as many challenges to a current crop of younger people, there is happily way more out there for young people now then the ‘80’s and 90’s… safety, security, opportunity, entertainment, education, travel, and it’s all attainable easier so little to no resilience exists ?…when they become faced with difficulties or a path of greater resistance to happiness or whatever goal ? They don’t cope so effectively ?

    take the pandemic as an example…studies I’ve read suggest that children and teens were the two cohorts most negatively impacted…yet tangibly they had the least to lose… least at risk group in terms of health…no responsibilities to put them at financial risk… tech literate so studying, communicating and entertaining / entertainment was handy enough.

    Yet, despite this probably more vocal regarding risking society to restore their in person social freedoms… 😶‍🌫️

    it would worry you if the Russian situation became more hostile towards the EU and the idea of conscription was mooted to boost our defense forces 👀 I’d say you’d get a land at the Q’s outside doctors offices looking for a signed letter of excuse.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

    Don't get me wrong. Information is always great when accessible...when it's the right Information (I'm not going to tell them the right information, but may guide them with regards to multiple sources).

    I'm sick and tired of listening to whining on the bus about ridiculously trivial crap. These are late teenagers. Social media can be fantastic, but for the majority of parts it's awful.

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Just as I didn't give a hoot about the opinions of boring old columnists in papers growing up, I'm sure young people don't give a toss about the opinions of boring old middle-aged curmudgeons who think ranting online (especially on Twitter) about "wokeness" is somehow a good use of the remaining time they have on the planet.

    Mr. Plain Speaking might think he has all the answers, but young people just don't care about boomer opinions. They do care increasingly about climate change, economic equality, and treating people with fairly basic respect. That seems to properly annoy the sort of tedious old fart who comments on every twitter thread about anything to do with equality and fairness. They seem angry about everything in fairness.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,363 ✭✭✭corner of hells

  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 8,997 ✭✭✭pgj2015

     economic equality

    Excuse for people to be lazy and get things handed to them. Not how life works. we cant all get participation medals.

    We live in a Capitalist Country, if you have a problem with that then move somewhere else.