Stubborn single mother who won't get a boyfriend. Anyone else in the same situation?

The DayDream

This is just a mind bogglingly ridiculous post. I can't even...

maninasia

Then don't lol.

I think OP has a point but sure it's up to her at the end of the day.

Packrat

I'm just imagining the replies if the OP was a woman washing and cleaning for her father and suggesting that he "get a partner" to do these tasks for him.

Some people.... jaysus...

zell12

Just tell her to go on holiday to Tunisia and get a toyboy.

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132364#Comment_120132364

Oh no! Loving a whole TWO HOURS away and don't have time to visit twice a week. Another one who works 24hrs a day, 7 days a week and you know already you'll have kids in a few years. How are you going to manage time to impregnate someone, let alone raise them? Poor you!

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132353#Comment_120132353

What if he fell out of the bath or chokes on his dinner?

Deeec

Op What if your new daddy takes your inheritance . 🤔

You also could still have to do all the jobs in years to come - except now you have to look after your mum and her manfriend. You could find yourself in a worse situation.

The only reason your mum should want a partner is for love and companionship. - she may be happy as she is though.She can pay a handyman to do jobs around the house.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132651#Comment_120132651

Then OP's Ma can get a new boyfriend help her with these things.

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132749#Comment_120132749

What if thr OP fell out of the bath or choked on his dinner?

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132364#Comment_120132364

About 2 hours round trip and I most certainly wasn't on the dole. It's called making time for the woman who raised you alone after your father died young and scrimpted and saved to get you to a decent adult life. It's called Love.

Your attitude that a man in her life would salve you of responsibility is cold and self centred to be honest.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132648#Comment_120132648

This post is ridiculous and shows absolutely 0 understanding of the complexities of parent/adult child relationships.

I’m glad you can easily readily willingly commit to 8 hours of driving a week in order to “take care” of a woman in her early 60s with no stated disabilities.

Im 58 and if I thought my daughter felt that’s what she needed to do for me I’d. be horrified and furious too,

Incidentally, as mother grows older, do you think the amount of visits per week should increase? 4 times by 70? 5 times by 75? Daily by 80? What about 85?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132760#Comment_120132760

Then the OP can get himself a girlfriend who can get herself a boyfriend to help with those things.

osarusan

She is happy with her life the way it is and doesn't want a partner.

That doesn't make her stubborn in any way.

Even afte an accident where she broke a rib, she still doesn't want a partner, and apparently is not all that worried about needing daily help.

Unless its a very extraordinary case (and it doesn't seem to be as you lovingly describe her as 'not ancient or anything'), you'll have no power to unilaterally decide she's off to a nursing home when she reaches 70.

Tbh it's hard to believe any of this is serious.

SAMTALK

If I thought my kids were thinking like this I'd be very cross !

Your mother is not old by any means and unless she gets a man 20 years younger it wont be much help. I'm on my own and if something needs doing I ring the relevant person . Believe it or not us mothers can do lots of things without the need of a man. Maybe set her up with phone numbers of local plumbers/electrician/handyman if the burden is too much for you

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058280398/stubborn-single-mother-who-wont-get-a-boyfriend-anyone-else-in-the-same-situation

What do I think? If I was her, I'd tell you to f* off with your notions!

As someone else said, get numbers of a few local tradespeople/ handymen and stick them on the fridge.

Princess Calla

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132800#Comment_120132800

This is a prime example of "know your posters" before you go on the attack.

Sardi is a full time carer of her late 80's father. She has spent the last few years fighting the system to get a carer to give her one hour respite.

She rarely gets a full night sleep without some drama unfolding.

There's not a week that goes by that she's not in a&e with her dad.

If anyone knows the complexities of parent/child relationship it is her.

I'm sure she'd gladly swap 8 hours a week inconvenience for what she's living through now. At least she'd still have the career she worked bloody hard for and a "normal" relationship with her partner.

But she decided to go down the unselfish route and look after her parent.

tabby aspreme

Jackie, you Mam should look for a FWB, with a particular set of skills, such as, plumbing, tiling, carpentry, painting and gardening.

I’m half thinking this is a joke thread but if it’s serious

you wouldn’t be too impressed if your mother was trying to force you to find a partner so maybe don’t do it to her? If she’s not interested in being with someone then leave her to it. Bit weird you’re this hyper obsessed with your ma getting a ride

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132651#Comment_120132651

Jackie would have to make sure the undertaker that buried the mother's partner was younger and single and set them up.

mct1

Think again. Say your 'single mum' meets a new man and they get married. Happy days. She writes a will leaving everything to him and he promises to see you right when he goes. Sadly she dies. A few years later so does he, and you find out his will leaves everything to his own children, and you get...nothing. It happens.

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120132800#Comment_120132800

Yes, I think you should care take of your mother if she requires it and stop whinging over a spot of DIY.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120134232#Comment_120134232

Funny that attitude tbh

i suspect their mammy cared for them night and day round the clock, but the odd visit is too much of an inconvenience? Crazy tbh

SAMTALK

you're mother obviously doesn't burden you too much if she didn't ring to say she was in hospital

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120134708#Comment_120134708

She didn't want him to drive a whole two hours just cos she's in hospital!

SAMTALK

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120134781#Comment_120134781

Or she's not as needy as OP is making out ?

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120134796#Comment_120134796

Or she knows better than wasting her time calling him.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120134232#Comment_120134232

So you think that an adult with their own bills and responsibilities should drop whatever their doing, give up their job, give up whatever other caring commitments they have and commence caring for their parent irregardless of the consequences?

You haven’t thought this through very well, have you?

Do your own kids know yet that this is the level of compliance you expect??

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120134900#Comment_120134900

I'm a carer. I dropped my life to care full time for my parent. Plenty do. Plenty more find excuses to not even give up a few hours a week. And you're whinging about a 2 hour drive to do a spot of DIY. My Dad is going into palliative care this evening. Be glad you've got a mum who's still young, fit and able and do what you can to help her out when you can .

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Ha! as to be one of the most cluelesd back-to-the-80s posts I've seen in a while!

No guarantee a boyfriend is going to be aby good at DIY so she might need to get herslef a nice girlfriend instead. Ot, y'know - just learn how to fix things...? Worked for me !

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120135034#Comment_120135034

You’re lucky that you could financially afford to drop your whole life to care for your family member.

Do you realize that as much as many would like to do that, they can’t? in order to afford to put a roof over their heads and that of their dependents they need to keep working or just reduce their hours.

Carers Allowance/Benefit doesn’t take rent mortgage payments or any other outgoing into account.

So while your giving yourself a pat on the back there or pointing the finger at others who can’t afford to drive for hours weekly just count your lucky stars that you didn’t have to choose between caring for your aged parent and feeding your kids.