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online dating

  • 19-12-2022 10:55pm
    Registered Users Posts: 24

    I'm an attractive Irish woman who cannot get a date. Everyone keeps asking me how am i single and I dont know why. i am constantly matching people and they never talk or ask me out. I have also dated numerous men for months and then they ghost me or say they dont want a relationship. I dont know what to do?!

    Post edited by Raichu on



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,558 ✭✭✭Breezy_

    You must do something...ask the exs for feedback. Or ask a blunt friend for a straight answer? Do you start hassle over nothing? To serious straight away, no fun? Expectations to high? Give and take? Show interest? If you're looking a long time it's you and not them....What age are ya, you should be able to figure it out...fixing it though is another thing....people don't really change.

    OOOoor you just haven't met the right person...

    Do you write the people you match with or wait??????

    Do you approach people in real life....proactive?

  • Registered Users Posts: 36,162 ✭✭✭✭ED E

    1. Ask this question
    2. Belatedly try to nuke the conversation from orbit (mods wont delete an active thread at the OPs whim)
    3. Ask the question again

    Are there any single women in their 30s worried about finding someone and having kids? Has anyone noticed that irish men are awful at making an effort? They dont ask you on dates just squeeze u in for an hour for coffee if you're lucky. I've dated foreign men and they make an effort and always talk. I'm thinking of moving abroad!

    Both OPs you're suggesting its them not you. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate that.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad

    Maybe you are matching with immature men who just want to have casual sex or are not ready for a serious relationship

    Or maybe you are too serious or maybe too smart eg some men are put off by a woman who is strong intelligent with her own career

    There want someone sexy who is not their intellectual equal or you be more successful in your career than the average man

    Men sometimes want to be in charge and not be challenged in any way

    Even if they say theybelieve in feminism

    See the old 70s song Don't go changing by Barry White

    Eg I don't want smart conversation

    I don't want to work that hard

    I just want someone I can talk to

    End quote

    Eg he does not want a woman or girlfriend who is smarter than him he wants just to relax and chill out

    Maybe write in to newstalk I'm only an adult Sean moncrief show and you might get good advice

    Most relationships are not completely 50 ,50

    There's usually someone who is stronger or in charge of things like where to go out to what programs to watch

    Also some people work hard so when they get home they just want to relax

    Watch TV not go out etc

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,175 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious

    I will go on a date with you.

    Tinder has gone besh1t since covid. Or else I have got fierce ugly relative to everyone else on there, not sure which

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,957 ✭✭✭sniperman

    those online dating sites have alot of scammers and fakes,i met a good few,

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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,558 ✭✭✭Breezy_

    Ha, I was gonna say the same but after the Girl who shagged her coworker, dyslexic who didn't want to talk on phone, just txt and then picked everything up wrong. Girl who let me pay for everything for months....I was curious would she ever so actually kept it going for a good while..... Girl who was gonna pass someone elses baby off as mine, girl who said she was raped rather than admit shagging around etc etc etc

    I'm done.

    I'm actually considering adoption...I dunno how people actually find someone and have kids.

    If I could clone myself I would or reproduce asexually like a sea star. Honest to god this is what I think of rather than having to try and start another relationship after the people ive met.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,558 ✭✭✭Breezy_

    The other thread looks decent actually and OP back months later starting another. OP is the problem.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,175 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,821 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    There are as many crazy women on the dating sites as there are men, fact. I know from experience. Anyone who is on it years is just a timewaster.

  • Registered Users Posts: 64 ✭✭Commoner

    Guys will often go for younger ladies. I won't go into the detail but a 30 year old woman goes for a 30 year old man, but he's probably looking for someone that's 24-26; that same guy would have jumped through hoops for the same woman when they were both 25 though.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 12,972 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain

    I think the answer to your problem lies in the title..

    Why are you limiting yourself to only meeting men online?

    What happened to trying to meet people in real life?

    To thine own self be true

  • Registered Users Posts: 140 ✭✭The Real President Trump

    Factors are :


    Meanness / generosity,

    Your effort in bed - lying there is the death knell - you must be interactive - oral is a requiremet - you must do it without having to be asked. Also dress attractively / wear lingerie

    Think of all the things you want well they should also be all the things you are providing

  • Registered Users Posts: 155 ✭✭I Blame Sheeple

    Ever think maybe you're just beat down.

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,357 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard

    And how in God's name is the OP supposed to establish all that before she even goes on a date? Put "I give head" on her profile???

    Nonsense post.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,037 ✭✭✭Mister Vain

    You say you can't get a date yet you've dated numerous men for months? 🤔

    Also if you're constantly matching people and they're not asking you out, then you could try asking them out.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,558 ✭✭✭Breezy_

    Oral is a requirement....whats this **** now..shes asking about trying to meet someone, not how to get gonorrhoea down her throat.....

  • Registered Users Posts: 237 ✭✭Ruxjit

    What are the best sites for online dating now? Tinder is full of Instagram influencer wannabe, which is fine but I'm not into it. Plenty of fish used to be good 10 years ago there used to be some genuine women there looking for relationships, all the dating sites feel very scammy now.

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,357 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard

    Bumble is the only one I'd bother with these days. Met my better half on it back in April.

  • Registered Users Posts: 518 ✭✭✭BaywatchHQ

    The dating market for women is like a banquet for a king whereas for average or low tier men it is like queuing up at a soup kitchen begging for scraps.

    This story always sticks in my head, I heard it from a man at the job centre a few years ago and he seemed to be autistic. He met up with his date and when he got to the restaurant she went to the toilet she texted him and asked him to leave.

    That's the brutal reality of the situation for men like us. I swallowed the black pill aged 25 and never even look for a woman, I wouldn't put myself through it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,037 ✭✭✭Mister Vain

    Hinge is the better one from my experience. Bumble and Tinder just seem to be an extension of Instagram.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,659 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk

    I'd imagine "low tier" women have as much of a hard time too no? Blanking and humiliating the other sex isn't exclusive to women either. Chin up!

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,558 ✭✭✭Breezy_

    They're all sh1te. Slightly different shades of it.

    Hinge is only different by letting you like a particular picture and comment. Otherwise same, same faces. Bumble will at least save you time by putting a clock on her. Most girls have notifications turned off as they're talking to multiple guys and don't wanna get caught out so they regularly miss the clock.

    Sure if ya live in a city try blindlee and Thursday app aswell.

    They all work passively for ya so if you're looking for luvvvvv. May aswell.

  • Registered Users Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Esho

    Holy moly! Really?

    There is a Netflix miniseries in that.

    Hillwalking clubs _Breezy,if you have half a day at the weekend. You'll never meet an eejit on the side of a mountain, plenty of time to talk too.

  • Registered Users Posts: 28,765 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78

    get off the internet, online dating is truly awful, clubs and interests will probably yield better results, best of luck

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,558 ✭✭✭Breezy_

    Would you believe i actually heard a guy on iradio doing thes....muddy soles or something it was called. I got on to him and i was outside his age cut cut off was like, for example 36, i was 37.

    I see some on meetup but the attendance does be like "3 people are going" most meetup groups within 60km of me are like that.

  • Registered Users Posts: 64 ✭✭Commoner

    Dating gets exponentially easier for men in their 30s compared to their 20s. It's a phenomenon that so many people talk about: the Dating Power Flip at Age 30.

    Guys who have found that dating gets easier in their 30s. All women have the misfortune of being on a biological timer and a lot of over-30's are upset that they have little/no time left. Its ingrained in human biology, women cant reproduce after a certain age and evolution has made men aware and cautious of that.

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    you gave up at 25? if you wanted to be a sports success or a job success would you give up so early. how many dates before 25

    it was a pretty mean thing the woman did i agree

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,821 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    Did he leave? why would he I wouldn't. let her leave. You sure it wasn't the woman that was autistic?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,659 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk

    I never really relate to these threads I thought online dating apps were fantastic, if a little frustrating at times, but then you take a break. Being able to go out with different women all the time when you don't have a social life like you did in your 20s was great for me. I miss it a little!