online dating

jay432 · 19-12-2022 10:55pm #1

I'm an attractive Irish woman who cannot get a date. Everyone keeps asking me how am i single and I dont know why. i am constantly matching people and they never talk or ask me out. I have also dated numerous men for months and then they ghost me or say they dont want a relationship. I dont know what to do?!

ED E · 19-12-2022 11:42pm

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Are there any single women in their 30s worried about finding someone and having kids? Has anyone noticed that irish men are awful at making an effort? They dont ask you on dates just squeeze u in for an hour for coffee if you're lucky. I've dated foreign men and they make an effort and always talk. I'm thinking of moving abroad!

Both OPs you're suggesting its them not you. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate that.

riclad · 19-12-2022 11:43pm

Maybe you are matching with immature men who just want to have casual sex or are not ready for a serious relationship

Or maybe you are too serious or maybe too smart eg some men are put off by a woman who is strong intelligent with her own career

There want someone sexy who is not their intellectual equal or you be more successful in your career than the average man

Men sometimes want to be in charge and not be challenged in any way

Even if they say theybelieve in feminism

See the old 70s song Don't go changing by Barry White

Eg I don't want smart conversation

I don't want to work that hard

I just want someone I can talk to

End quote

Eg he does not want a woman or girlfriend who is smarter than him he wants just to relax and chill out

Maybe write in to newstalk I'm only an adult Sean moncrief show and you might get good advice

Most relationships are not completely 50 ,50

There's usually someone who is stronger or in charge of things like where to go out to what programs to watch

Also some people work hard so when they get home they just want to relax

Watch TV not go out etc

Ubbquittious · 19-12-2022 11:51pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058276399/online-dating

I will go on a date with you.

Tinder has gone besh1t since covid. Or else I have got fierce ugly relative to everyone else on there, not sure which

sniperman · 19-12-2022 11:56pm

those online dating sites have alot of scammers and fakes,i met a good few,

Ubbquittious · 20-12-2022 12:16am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016452#Comment_120016452

Don't let the bastards grind you down

pgj2015 · 20-12-2022 12:21am

There are as many crazy women on the dating sites as there are men, fact. I know from experience. Anyone who is on it years is just a timewaster.

Commoner · 20-12-2022 12:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058276399/online-dating

Guys will often go for younger ladies. I won't go into the detail but a 30 year old woman goes for a 30 year old man, but he's probably looking for someone that's 24-26; that same guy would have jumped through hoops for the same woman when they were both 25 though.

Purple Mountain · 20-12-2022 1:03am

I think the answer to your problem lies in the title..

Why are you limiting yourself to only meeting men online?

What happened to trying to meet people in real life?

The Real President Trump · 20-12-2022 5:58am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058276399/online-dating

Factors are :

Age,

Meanness / generosity,

Your effort in bed - lying there is the death knell - you must be interactive - oral is a requiremet - you must do it without having to be asked. Also dress attractively / wear lingerie

Think of all the things you want well they should also be all the things you are providing

I Blame Sheeple · 20-12-2022 1:25pm

Ever think maybe you're just beat down.

Dial Hard · 20-12-2022 1:34pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016766#Comment_120016766

And how in God's name is the OP supposed to establish all that before she even goes on a date? Put "I give head" on her profile???

Nonsense post.

Mister Vain · 20-12-2022 3:51pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058276399/online-dating

You say you can't get a date yet you've dated numerous men for months? 🤔

Also if you're constantly matching people and they're not asking you out, then you could try asking them out.

Ruxjit · 20-12-2022 5:58pm

What are the best sites for online dating now? Tinder is full of Instagram influencer wannabe, which is fine but I'm not into it. Plenty of fish used to be good 10 years ago there used to be some genuine women there looking for relationships, all the dating sites feel very scammy now.

Dial Hard · 20-12-2022 6:00pm

Bumble is the only one I'd bother with these days. Met my better half on it back in April.

BaywatchHQ · 20-12-2022 6:12pm

The dating market for women is like a banquet for a king whereas for average or low tier men it is like queuing up at a soup kitchen begging for scraps.

This story always sticks in my head, I heard it from a man at the job centre a few years ago and he seemed to be autistic. He met up with his date and when he got to the restaurant she went to the toilet she texted him and asked him to leave.

That's the brutal reality of the situation for men like us. I swallowed the black pill aged 25 and never even look for a woman, I wouldn't put myself through it.

Mister Vain · 20-12-2022 6:14pm

Hinge is the better one from my experience. Bumble and Tinder just seem to be an extension of Instagram.

Thelonious Monk · 20-12-2022 6:30pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120018877#Comment_120018877

I'd imagine "low tier" women have as much of a hard time too no? Blanking and humiliating the other sex isn't exclusive to women either. Chin up!

Esho · 20-12-2022 6:39pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016452#Comment_120016452

Holy moly! Really?

There is a Netflix miniseries in that.

Hillwalking clubs _Breezy,if you have half a day at the weekend. You'll never meet an eejit on the side of a mountain, plenty of time to talk too.

Wanderer78 · 20-12-2022 6:49pm

get off the internet, online dating is truly awful, clubs and interests will probably yield better results, best of luck

Commoner · 20-12-2022 6:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120018877#Comment_120018877

Dating gets exponentially easier for men in their 30s compared to their 20s. It's a phenomenon that so many people talk about: the Dating Power Flip at Age 30.

Guys who have found that dating gets easier in their 30s. All women have the misfortune of being on a biological timer and a lot of over-30's are upset that they have little/no time left. Its ingrained in human biology, women cant reproduce after a certain age and evolution has made men aware and cautious of that.

20-12-2022 7:09pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016410#Comment_120016410

fair dues.

20-12-2022 7:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120018877#Comment_120018877

you gave up at 25? if you wanted to be a sports success or a job success would you give up so early. how many dates before 25

it was a pretty mean thing the woman did i agree

pgj2015 · 20-12-2022 7:53pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120018877#Comment_120018877

Did he leave? why would he I wouldn't. let her leave. You sure it wasn't the woman that was autistic?

Thelonious Monk · 20-12-2022 7:54pm

I never really relate to these threads I thought online dating apps were fantastic, if a little frustrating at times, but then you take a break. Being able to go out with different women all the time when you don't have a social life like you did in your 20s was great for me. I miss it a little!

pgj2015 · 20-12-2022 7:55pm

The worst ones are the ones with no pictures. ok so you chat with someone, then they ask for a picture and if they dont like it, they will probably ghost you. You are just asking for rejection that way in fairness.

ancapailldorcha · 20-12-2022 7:59pm

I can't stand them. I've tried a few and got absolutely nothing.

If they work for you, great.

Mister Vain · 20-12-2022 8:23pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120019067#Comment_120019067

Dating gets exponentially easier for men in their 30s compared to their 20s.

I hear that a lot but then I also hear women find 80% of men unattractive. At least that's according to OkCupid anyway.

https://www.yourtango.com/2016285828/women-find-80-percent-men-unattractive-says-crazy-study

ancapailldorcha · 20-12-2022 8:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120019067#Comment_120019067

I've seen this claim a fair bit but it's not my experience.

Mad_maxx · 20-12-2022 11:54pm

Ten years since I’ve been on dating sites, met the Mrs on Match.com , is that even still around?

Dial Hard · 21-12-2022 12:45am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120019275#Comment_120019275

Why would

Dial Hard · 21-12-2022 12:48am

Stupid **** quote function.

Why would you even engage with someone who doesn't have photos up???

pgj2015 · 21-12-2022 12:57am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120020323#Comment_120020323

curiosity.

ancapailldorcha · 21-12-2022 1:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120019275#Comment_120019275

No, the worst ones are people putting up photos of their toddler or small children. That and wedding pics. At least someone with no photo might live in a small town or might need to be private for work reasons.

Mister Vain · 21-12-2022 9:31am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120020363#Comment_120020363

What does the size of the town have to do with it? The vast majority of profiles have photos regardless of where they live.

I don't mind the wedding photos. The worst ones are the super close ups with half the face cropped out. Dafuq is that all about?

Donald Trump · 21-12-2022 9:41am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058276399/online-dating

I'm an attractive Irish woman who cannot get a date.

Would the meaning of attractive not be that you attract people?

No offence meant as I don't know you, but it is not uncommon for women in the 30's to have a skewed perception of their physical attractiveness. Whereby they mistake attention received when in their early-mid 20's as some kind of indicator of everlasting beauty

Donald Trump · 21-12-2022 9:47am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120020183#Comment_120020183

Same here......I also met your missus on match.com

And, yes, it is still around.................sure I only joined it for the first time ever last week

pgj2015 · 21-12-2022 10:25am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120020363#Comment_120020363

what is wrong with wedding pics? I don't get it.

Mister Vain · 21-12-2022 4:09pm

I'm not sure what to make of this. ☺️

newmember2 · 21-12-2022 5:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120020323#Comment_120020323

...any port in a storm...

newmember2 · 21-12-2022 5:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120022185#Comment_120022185

I'm not in your life...tf

Iseedeadpixels · 21-12-2022 5:56pm

Absolutely hated online dating, would class myself as average or below average but always found in person to be a lot easier.

YellowLead · 21-12-2022 7:46pm

I don’t think this OP post is genuine - but who cares, it’s AH.

Online dating works differently for different people based on both their attitude, skill at spotting red flag profiles and their ‘general’ attractiveness.

Women experience a lot of men just looking for a ride and men have to look out for women looking for wallet / status.

But plenty of genuine people there if you have patience to wade through it all and lots have met their OH that way. Me personally, I’ve only found short term things - but I’m not giving up.

Ruxjit · 22-12-2022 10:02am

I don’t know the age of the OP but in general it must be hard if you’re a woman in you’re mid to late 30s, single and never had any children because men will think they will be very keen to have a baby, that kind of commitment would scare most men away.

pgj2015 · 22-12-2022 11:57am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120024446#Comment_120024446

lots of women don't want kids these days thankfully.

I saw one lately 43, said she wants kids, makes no sense. 🙄

vinniem · 22-12-2022 12:34pm

"I'm an attractive Irish woman"

Maybe in your own head possibly? 🤔🤔

22-12-2022 12:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120022185#Comment_120022185

You do see some of the strangest profiles. How Judith expects a relationship out of this I don’t know 😂

22-12-2022 12:45pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120020864#Comment_120020864

Some wedding pics need a context, which is rarely provided. Like is that of the person’s previous marriage/partner, could it be a hint that a marriage will be very much on the cards in the next relationship. Different if it’s clear that it’s you attending your sister’s/son’s/friend’s etc wedding.

22-12-2022 12:50pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016545#Comment_120016545

😉 A lot of guys these days like older women, they say they are easier to talk to, lot of life experience, sexually relaxed.. and if they are honest it’s the mother figure substitute too.

22-12-2022 12:59pm

Online dating is kind of like playing a virtual reality card game, you collect a little stack and then wonder how to play these cards without being mean. To me it matters to be sensitive to those decent individuals you match with. There’s plenty of joker cards there too, without qualm, they go in the rubbish heap.

YellowLead · 22-12-2022 2:24pm

Lots of men want kids too!

They are just less panicked about the timing, for obvious reasons.

I’m 38 and I don’t date men my own age because they all want kids and I’m done. Some have them but if they don’t they tend to be looking to settle down and have them. So I date divorced men late 40s to mid 50s.

online dating

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