Do you ever offer your seat to women for no reason?

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119974990#Comment_119974990

So you totally could articulate it, but you won't. You've repeated the assertion that you see it as good manners, repeated the suggestion that you were well brought up and I would already understand if I were also well brought up. Repeated that it's trivial and easy to articulate. But for some reason, you won't actually articulate it.

The Streets have a lyric "sometimes it's hard enough to remember my opinions, let alone remember my reasons for them". Can't help thinking it's apt here.

If you totally could articulate the logic behind your conclusion, wouldn't it be easier than repeating the same things you've already said?

I suspect it's just an old value which you were taught as a child and didn't question even though it doesn't apply in the modern world. And you're stuck with it because you haven't actually examined the reasons for it. I could be wrong. Of course, if you articulate your reasons, it would prove me wrong.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119981924#Comment_119981924

Of course, if you articulate your reasons, it would prove me wrong.

I have no interest in proving you wrong, because I couldn’t care less what you think. I already know what you think as you’ve been very clear about it, you think it’s old fashioned and something I haven’t grown out of and it doesn’t apply in the modern world.

As it happens, going into the bar earlier this evening for a quick pint and there were a group of ladies coming out as I was going in; held the door open for them, no drama, they went out, I went in, and ne’er another thought was given to it until now.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119981977#Comment_119981977

You keep recounting the things you do unthinking, by your own account. All I'm asking for is the reasoning behind why you do it. You say you could articulate your reasons but you refuse to do it. If it's so simple, why not just do it?

I've made my opinion clear. I don't think you can articulate your reasoning.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119982072#Comment_119982072

I think what you’re looking for is for me to justify my position, as opposed to just articulating my opinion.

As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t need to be any more articulate than I’m a man, they’re a woman, and that’s what we do in those circumstances. You obviously have a different perspective, and that’s ok. You obviously put a lot of thought into your decision, and you have your suspicions about men who don’t share your opinions. I’m ok with that too, I’m not seeking to change your opinion.

jacfrosty

For no reason? No, why would anyone?

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119982298#Comment_119982298

So the sex of the person is the consideration? I hold doors open for people all the time. Generally don't consider their genitalia. Me man by the way.

The Real President Trump

Well you can't because it would be sexist now, you can thank the crazy feminists for this

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119982449#Comment_119982449

Call me old fashioned, but men and women don’t look anything like each other, there’s no need to go that far 😂

It’ holding open a door, or giving up a seat. Nobody is looking to have sex with anyone, geez 😒

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119982513#Comment_119982513

Yes you can. Don't be believing everything you want to believe. Most women think it's a nice gesture.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119982298#Comment_119982298

Yeah. You got it. I'm asking you to justify/articulate your reasoning or logic, whatever way you want to put it. I think I've been pretty explicitly asking you to articulate the reasoning. You said you can articulate your reasoning. So ot would be nice if you just to it instead of dancing around and repeating reasons why you shouldn't articulate the reasons.

I think it's pretty clear that you can't articulate your reasons. You could prove me wrong pretty easily by just saying your reasoning behind the conclusion....

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119982604#Comment_119982604

Jaysus. I look for a shag on occasion!

I'll give anyone a seat of they look uncomfortable or appears in distress (although I really don't pay attention on the bus).

Holding doors open. I don't even think about. Opening a door for myself I'll have a quick look around to see if somebody's behind me.

mistersifter

I saw a funny one on the Luas recently.

Woman in her late 30s or early 40s hopped on at Jervis, shopping bag in hand. Not a bother on her. Starts gesturing to some lad to get up from his seat. He looks at her confused and she starts pointing and saying in broken english "I want to sit there". He just ignored her. Seemed to be completely normal for her, wherever she was from.

Seemed very snobby to me, and she did have a bit of a stuck up vibe about her. But cultural attitudes can differ with in these situations. I've lived in a country where it was quite normal to get up and give you seat to kids (like 10 or 11 years old even) if they got on with their parents. Kid would sit and adults would stand if necessary.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119983732#Comment_119983732

I’ve articulated the reasoning numerous times already - men and women are different, and so they are treated differently. It couldn’t be any more simple than that. Whatever else you choose to believe about other people is entirely your own responsibility to address however you please. They’re your prejudices, not mine.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058274699/do-you-ever-offer-your-seat-to-women-for-no-reason

Endearing chivalry if he's handsome otherwise it's odd..so I'm told lol

ManyMondays

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058274699/do-you-ever-offer-your-seat-to-women-for-no-reason

They were more than likely being polite rather than thinking it was a sweet gesture,

This happened to me one time on a train, a very awkward man got on, god love him, he went around all the young women around him asking if theyd like his seat, obviously everyone said no. Offering your seat to a partner or a woman youre dating is chivalry, offering your seat to random women you dont know comes off as desperate.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119983878#Comment_119983878

Lol good for him. She was some weirdo.

The Real President Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119983455#Comment_119983455

You could be then you would be being sexist as the act is because of her sex, they even teach this concept in schools now

JupiterKid

I would always offer my seat to an elderly, pregnant, unwell or disabled person if I thought they needed the seat more than me, that's just good manners.

But for random women? No. That is unnecessary and might possibly come across as creepy to young women.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119983900#Comment_119983900

Yeah, my prejudice is that people are equal and should be treated with equal respect.

I know you've articulated the conclusion several times. Let's assume I know that. What I'm asking for is the reasoning behind the conclusion. For example, what problem is solved by offering a woman the seat? Are they less capable of standing than you?

Or to put it another way, given that men and women are not equal in your view, why should women get a seat over a man?

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119986869#Comment_119986869

Four days later and you’re still having difficulty with the idea that from my point of view, for a man to leave a woman standing is just bad manners and is disrespectful behaviour. You have a completely different mindset which is why I said that it would be difficult to explain the concept of behaving in a civilised manner to someone who has a different idea of what it means to behave in a civilised manner -

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119971914#Comment_119971914

I have no doubt you’re aware that your idea that people are equal and should be treated with equal respect, aren’t the prejudices I was referring to. I was referring to this -

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119971816#Comment_119971816

Society isn’t going to fall apart at the seams because you’d prefer to leave a woman standing because in your view it demonstrates respect and equality, and as has already been demonstrated in this thread, some people think they’re fierce clever altogether using your beliefs to their advantage and sneering about how women demand equality.

I’m certain you didn’t get to the age you are now without recognising that there exists in Irish society at least, legislation to address discrimination against certain groups in Irish society that permits those groups to be treated more favourably in certain circumstances to address the disadvantages they have experienced as a consequence of their sex for example, or their membership of the traveller community. That’s the importance of recognising that people are different, and in order that they be treated as equals, there are circumstances where they are given what appears to be more favourable treatment, ie they are not treated as being the same as other people.

Your idea, while you may consider it modern and everything else, it’s just not common, and the expectation that men give up their seat rather than leave a woman standing is only one small part of being a man and having consideration for other people, or the idea of making another person’s life that bit easier, rather than being obstinate in sticking to your beliefs that everyone is equal as though everyone is the same, when other people can see that they clearly are not the same, and they recognise that they have certain advantages by virtue of their social status, and other people are disadvantaged by virtue of their social status.

That’s what’s meant by understanding how to behave in a civilised manner in what is meant to be at least, a civilised society.

Quitelife

Bought a bag of (expensive!) smokeless coal in supervalue last week , girl at the till follows me out to where coal kept and opens the cage, i say nothing and grab the 20KG bag myself ( Bloke) and throw in boot of car , moved car a bit away and waited for wife.

Then i see same girl coming out from shop a few minutes later with some middle aged woman who obviously had bought coal, young girl didnt look as if she was going lugging 20KG bag ( which isnt that heavy ) and neither did the middlke aged woman so they waited for a couple of minutes for a bloke to pass and asked him and he ignored them and kept walking, i of course gave into my old school rearing and got out and brought the coal to the middle aged womans car boot but was i wrong to do this in Modern Ireland??

I know one of managers in supervalue and said it to him about having young females on tills that do coal etc as well but he said theyd be sued for discrimination if they said males can only do that job , cant win