Do you ever offer your seat to women for no reason?

bb1234567

Was on the tube today and a young lad kept asking any woman who walked by if they'd like a seat. Young ladies. At first I cringed a little thinking the women might take he thought they looked a lot older than they are, but judging by their body language they seemed to all think the offer was sweet even though they all declined.

Is it it a bit odd to do this in 2022 or endearing chivalry?

StevenToast

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058274699/do-you-ever-offer-your-seat-to-women-for-no-reason

Very odd... unless pregnant or elderly...the women are well able to stand these days!

Strumms

It’s odd, as above.. pregnant or elderly or someone with an obvious disability…fine.

random females, no.

orourkeda1

To paraphrase Dave Chapelle, Chivalry's dead and it was women that killed it.

buried

Only if its the drivers seat and I'm expected to drive.

Real equality in action.

Yes, I offer my seat.

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961161#Comment_119961161

And good

thegame983

If they're good looking...I might.

Jequ0n

Well yes, if there is something to be gained.

But offering the seat to any woman walking by smells of desperation.

bigroad

If I spot a more comfortable seat nearby ,then I will.

Dial Hard

FFS, quote function not working again.

What I was trying to say was, and good riddance to the concept of chivalry. Absolutely absurd and completely outdated notion.

Good manners should be gender-agnostic. The idea of one section of society getting preferential* treatment due to gender is objectively nonsensical. I'm a chick and I hold doors open for both men and women and will offer my seat on the bus to anyone who looks like they might need it more than me.

Dial Hard

Edit function FUBAR now too.

The asterisk was because whether such treatment was *actually* preferential is very much up for debate, imo. The entire concept of chivalry (in its original, medieval form) is based on the thesis that women need protecting, both from themselves and other men.

saabsaab

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961276#Comment_119961276

Many still do.

Jequ0n

@Dial Hard This should be the moment when you realise that you have started to type like your parent(s).

Count Dracula

I always ask if they would like to sit on their knees or on my lap, good to give them options I think. That is what feminism is striving for, better options when using public transport.

Plenty of men and younger lads automatically do chivalrous things. Old fashioned or not, it's still really nice of them. Good manners, well raised. But yes of course women should do the same.

Specifically giving a train seat up for a woman merely because she's a woman though... no I don't experience or see that. That was probably a thing many decades ago, but no need for it unless she's heavily pregnant, elderly, ill or disabled.

dartboardio

wow I am surprised at the amount saying 'no way'

yes I've been randomly given a seat by a man on a bus/train plenty of times for no reason. I'm not pregnant , elderly nor do I have any physical disability.

I find it an innocent act of chivalry and my long term boyfriend does the same to women.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961052#Comment_119961052

Be careful with the pregnant.

tayto lover

A young lad on a Dublin bus a few years ago got up and offered me his seat. He's lucky he didn't get a clip on the ear as i was only in my mis 60's then.

Dr Turk Turkelton

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961860#Comment_119961860

Happened me not so long ago at a bus stop in Dublin. I sat beside a random lady and asked her when's it due?

She replied "I'm not pregnant".

I replied "I meant the bus you fat cow".

XsApollo

Not a hope, just because the person is a woman? Haha

Those days are long gone and rightly so with their general attitude these days.

now I do offer my seat to elderly or people that look like they could do with the seat regardless of gender.

AyeGer

If they are good looking i'll offer my knee to sit on.

Seriously though, no way would i offer my seat to any health able bodied adult, male or female. Id offer it to an old person or someone who looked like they really needed a seat like a heavily pregnant woman or someone with a disability or injury.

Larbre34

A friend of mine does offer his seat to able bodied women. It comes across as creepy to me.

I would offer my seat to any person that appears to me to need it more than I do, but never just because they are female.

Gregor Samsa

Offered a woman my seat once. She said “No thanks, I already have an audi”.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119962046#Comment_119962046

I sniggered

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119962092#Comment_119962092

Yellow card. 10 minutes in the bin.

KilOit

Pregnant, old or disabled, anyone else and it comes across as creepy

Deebles McBeebles

If God had wanted women to sit, why would he give them legs?

callaway92

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961250#Comment_119961250

This is exactly what came to mind too. Almost a bizarre version of hoping to strike up a chat (or more)

pgj2015

if a man in his 20's looked sick would ye give him your seat?

ELM327

No, I'm not sexist or ageist, so I offer my seat to no one.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119963397#Comment_119963397

It'd be bad form not to, surely?

And if someone is VERY elderly - frail, out of breath, struggling - of course a seat should be given to them. Calling that ageist is stupid.

Quitelife

saw a older bloke one night on luas get up to let middle aged female sit down and she ate the head off him , on about him been sexist etc .

you can’t win in modern Ireland , best never offer your seat or hold the door or you’ll be accused of sexism

Bet that's rare. I don't know any woman who'd behave in that way. She was just a cu*t.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961161#Comment_119961161

Yeah maybe old school chivalry is dead. Normal good manners still exist. What's considered good manners changes over time.

The complaint seems to be that women killed chivalry which is inconvenient for men who hold old school values of giving their seat or holding a door for women.

I can't help thinking the ones who want to hold doors or give their seat to women would also be the ones who give out yards about feminism and women having more rights than men.

Mad idea, just treat people roughly equally well regardless of gender. If someone looks like they need a seat for whatever reason, it's good manners to offer then the seat. Suggesting women need your seat because they're women and you're a man, is likely to be perceived as patronising by lots of people. Offering your seat to someone who looks like they need it is likely to be perceived as good manners.

Schnooks

Like most of the posters already stated, if someone looks like they need the seat (elderly, pregnant, disabled etc) I will immediately jump up and offer my seat, regardless of gender (yes I know men can't get pregnant, or can they these days???!!! 😀), ye know what I mean.

I hold doors open for everyone, and if I don't receive a thanks or some sort of nod in acknowledgement, I say "you're welcome", again regardless of gender or age.

Common courtesy and manners cost nothing and is something we should all practice, regardless of gender, age etc. This includes being mannerly to staff in shops, public transport, restaurants etc. My 16 yo son has had this taught to him from a very early age, as did I.

The world works alot better if we treat each other with respect, regardless of which category we fit into of the ones stated above.

@El_Duderino 09

@El_Duderino 09 "I can't help thinking the ones who want to hold doors or give their seat to women would also be the ones who give out yards about feminism and women having more rights than men" - you can be sure of it. They're thinking what they want to think. Most women think it's lovely and decent when a man is chivalrous.

Esel

Only if they are elderly, invalid, and look pregnant.

Electric Gypsy

Had to

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3pAAR5TAt0&ab_channel=HockeyDz

nigeldaniel

I am old school and yes I often do. Although mostly with reason. If I saw an old guy loaded down I would offer up a seat to him too. It's nothing about chivalry at all but about being kind. The world lacks it these days. Its true some women don't like it but that is not my problem that would be theirs.

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119964348#Comment_119964348

Never lower yourself just because some people are cnuts. I offer my seat to anyone that looks like they need it more than me.

Strumms

Best way of doing it… “ hello, I say, a spare seat here for you Madame…. I’ll be alighting off this abomination of a trolley car…to take soup, with my neighbour, Mr Feinstein… I hope you find the seat warm and to your liking, I bid you good day. “

Riddle101

Depends. If I'm on a packed bus and there is an old woman or someone that looks like they need it more than me then yeah I would probably offer my seat. Then again, I'd do the same if it was a man as well.

Hotblack Desiato

Basically when you offer a seat to a non-OAP you're saying

"Hi, I think you're either morbidly obese or third trimester pregnant, not sure, but it's probably pregnant"

Risky game.

Read an article once about tips for canvassing door to door, one was never ask "when's it due" unless you can actually see the head beginning to emerge (which would render the question moot in any case)

Hyperbollix

No, only if they're elderly, disabled, hot, heavily pregnant or all of the above.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119968284#Comment_119968284

You're a picky one.

One eyed Jack

Do I offer women a seat for no reason? No.

Is it chivalry? Sure, but I just call it basic manners, seems reason enough.

You might just be overthinking it OP if you dwell on it too long, but it’s never been an issue and it’s never caused an issue.

blackbox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119968284#Comment_119968284

I don't include the hot ones. They look better standing up.

cj maxx

Definitely not. The last time I was on a dublin bus ( about 2 1/2 years ago , I got glares from passengers for not giving a rather plump woman my seat near the door . A lot of head’s dropped when I grabbed my walking stick and the driver helped me with-the step !

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119968478#Comment_119968478

Do you honestly do it though? When's the last time you offered your seat to a woman who wasn't obviously in need of it?

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119968896#Comment_119968896

Nah, I don’t do it honestly, I offer them a seat, and if they say yes, I thumb my nose at them like a five year old child and stay sitting 😂

Of course I do it honestly, last week in the vets, woman came in with her dog, I was sitting in the only available chair, seemed like the obvious thing to do. She said she was grand and I thought no more of it until just now when you asked me when was the last time I did it.