"i'm a guy - i don't buy cards or presents".. really?

Badly Drunk Boy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119709566#Comment_119709566

I don't even know what I'd want until I see it so I wouldn't expect somebody else to. If I need it, I probably already have it, and if I want it, I'll get it myself.

I am a guy and I do occasionally do presents. Never ever do cards.

What I tend not to do though is buy or give presents when the calendar tells me to. So I rarely gift my friends or family anything on their Birthday or Christmas or anything like that.

Instead if I see or think of something meaningful to them - I just get it for them and give it to them. It is always important to me that gifts are meaningful - and for me personally a lot of the meaning is lost because I am only doing it to fit the calendar or some social norm. Then it does not feel like it is coming from me any more.

Still stihl waters 3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119712022#Comment_119712022

Christ that's painful sh1t to be reading

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119703229#Comment_119703229

Not to sound immature, but do you have many girlfriends that you don't sleep with? Or have you slept with some?

Irish_wolf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119713673#Comment_119713673

Haha I know this is After Hours but what kind of question is that and how is it in any way relevant? I sleep with my girlfriends, wouldn't consider someone my girlfriend if we weren't sleeping together. Also I'm pretty damn good at buying gifts (I actually have a notebook app were I jot down things anyone mentions, although this is mostly for family christmas presents), flowers, chocolates and all that other good stuff. I'm very giving in a relationship context and I do consider that important.

Not really sure what you're implying here but I think you might have the wrong idea of me. Some people like little nonsense gifts from their friends others dont. I'd rather someone save their money and use it to join me on a trip or adventure or something rather than buying me useless trinkets and stuff I dont need nor want. I dont see where the confusion around this comes from.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119714228#Comment_119714228

Okay, but you said female friends. Are those gfs or not? No shame in it if u're not banging them.

NewbridgeIR

I do it for close friends.

A friend had a big birthday recently so I purchased him the 5 Now Yearbook CDs that had been released along with the one Now Yearbook Extra that was still in print. He contacted me a couple of weeks later to say he loved them and was going to buy the reissues of the ones he missed.

One eyed Jack

If I know it’s important to them, I’ll buy someone a present and a card for an occasion - birthdays, Christmas, whatever. I don’t like people buying presents for me because I feel like I’m putting them out or there’s no need.

I’m always grateful though, especially if it’s a funny card, I’ll treasure it, I dunno, sentimental like that I guess, or with something which has a significant meaning attached to it - lighters, phone covers, I’ve got a blood donation fridge magnet that I’d be devastated if it got lost or something! Stupid but… meh 😒

I'm the opposite and the same op.

Im a girl and I don't buy cards or presents...really.

Only recently I've got into it and I'm quite enjoying the new organized and more thoughtful me.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119711941#Comment_119711941

This is a good point.

I'll tell my future wife and family to get me nothing. And they seem to be in shock. You'll be pissed off with us if we don't get you something. Honestly no.

As somebody else said I'll only realise its my bday if I get a text!

Edit: the thank you cards just for taking you out for pub grub. Do I have to send you a thank you card for your thank you card. Ask me left one.

Goldengirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119711277#Comment_119711277

Like.. I LOVE YOU, BRO ❤️

Even if you do because they have been there for you through everything?

Cmon guys, grow a pair!

If you don't, love them (and I mean platonically of course), then but a pint or something equally meaningless, or just don't buy anything.

But don't pretend that that nice message on the day or the perfect thing you always wanted or funny gift even if its dirt cheap, doesn't mean something, just because its from a friend and not a lover.

Love isn't just confined to sexual or even life partners and men, especially young men need to know its ok to love your best mate and to look out for each other 💞

Its how I brought up the young men in my family and whether they are happier or not I don't know, but they are kind, loving and thoughtful to all their friends and family.

That doesn't mean buying expensive gifts or sending cards, but thinking of others on their birthdays is important and genuine good feelings and vibes are good for people.

Life is hard enough!

At the very least get together with others to buy something decent / that they want, if its a special birthday. At least it shows you made an effort.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119719380#Comment_119719380

You don't seem to be getting it. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. And especially I don't want the hassle of having to buy gifts in return. I don't have time for that in my life and even of I did have the time I still DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

spakman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119702019#Comment_119702019

Strange to put a homophobic slant on it, but some people love to be outraged I suppose.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119719380#Comment_119719380

I kinda agree with you. There isn't enough love in the world and confidence to express it.

However, I don't think, in general, guys want stuff. I'm mid 40s by the way. Gifts, while appreciated, will probably go in the bin with the card if theyre crap. Just get me a pint. I can buy my own stuff.

As other people have mentioned I wouldn't cop on its my bday until I get a message. Oh right, I'll get back to my work. Nice to receive.

One year closer to death. Meh.

Goldengirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119721301#Comment_119721301

Haha, yeah probably true.

Its not so much the presents for me.

Think its important to someone if they are feeling a bit meh to know people are genuinely thinking of them, not so much the presents. Who wants a heap of crap, but a hug or a chat over a pint goes a lot further.

Lfe is too short not to mark big occasions / birthdays and to tell people how much you appreciate them. Found that out unfortunately in the last few years.

Goldengirl

@Pawwed Rig haha ok, I won't get you anything... But I'll still message you and say something nice if I can ❤️❤️❤️

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722456#Comment_119722456

364 other days!

Right so, I'm going to be a bit crude. I love my fiancée dressing up, wearing sparkling jewellery. Wow!

She looks better in the nip though. It's just her. Less is more sometimes (plus she's in the nip).

Goldengirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722535#Comment_119722535

Hmmm thought it was about guys buying their friends present s or sending cards?

Obviously your fiancee in the nip is no contest!

Moving goalposts..

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722558#Comment_119722558

My male friends would understand that post (really struggling to make it relevant)!

Goldengirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722579#Comment_119722579

Oh I understand it alright , just not relevant here .😁

Or maybe it is , in which case , I have given my opinion and will bow out .

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722621#Comment_119722621

Alright so. Mr/Mrs Goldengirl!

I met a mate of mine years ago on my bday(of course he had no idea).

I was having a crap day at work with a colleague and was knackered and pissed off.

I mentioned it to him and he said "point him out and I'll do time for you".

That is probably the sweetest thing ever said to me.

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722493#Comment_119722493

I can do messages all day 👍🏾

I've 3 bottles of wine taking up space in my fridge right now that I was given for my birthday, and I don't drink. I'll keep them up for guests at Christmas.

Bottles of booze are like gift vouchers to me - they speak to a lack of effort.

I don't send cards often anymore, though I was told by someone once that they couldn't wish me a happy birthday because I'm not on social media.

My brother likes to send cards and sends the best cards. I really look forward to getting a card from him as they always crack me up.

Goldengirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722650#Comment_119722650

Haha each to their own 😊

And it's just Goldengirl !

Goldengirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119722997#Comment_119722997

Yeah.. love wine and flowers ( believe it or not doesn't remind me of death at all as one gloomy post said earlier:))

But bring me chocolates or cakes and I will be upset as I can't eat them , and it's like a slap in the face when someone is so thoughtless .

So I understand you about the wine .

It's down to people just making a bit of effort to think of the person they are gifting to , it's not that hard .

Ps I have a little brother like that , always makes me laugh !

Goldengirl

@Pawwed Rig So when is your birthday? 😊

Larbre34

My wife swaps all sorts of tat presents with her friends for birthdays and Christmas, yes they are all gestures, but just wasteful rubbish that isn't actually used much, or at all. I swear if they regifted the stuff to each other they'd never notice.

For that reason the sort of gestures I go in for are a phonecall on a birthday or making food and bakes for people at Christmas or for when visiting for the weekend etc. I enjoy it and I think its a great universal welcome, the exchange of food and hospitality. Might as well make 10 Christmas puddings as one!

Star Bingo

You may not buy me presents but you will bow to my presence

freshpopcorn

I'm nearly a 30 year old man and guys I know don't swop cards or gifts with one another. People would buy one another a drink, etc.

If we were meeting up for a 30th it would be very small and informal and basically a few drinks with little planning.

No guys would be meeting up for dinner parties.

Whilst with girls turning 30 there seems to be more planning, getting hair, make-up done, going for meals. etc. It's all more of hype and they seem to be more into planning.

They'd also be meeting up for meals, etc during the year in groups.

They'd also be more into giving gifts, going shopping, etc.

So, I think it's one of these thing that shows how our genders are different.

That's not to say some groups of guys are big into gifts or women are big into gifts, etc.

ballyharpat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119701770#Comment_119701770

What's it got to do with being gay? Are homosexuals more thoughtful that heteros or something? Not all homosexuals are effiminate or flamboyant, colorful etc.

I just dont see the point in giving gifts-what am I supposed to get a grown adult that has a job and money of their own that they could not buy themselves if they wanted it?

Ive removed my birth date etc from social media, I was sick of getting a few hundred generic happy birthday posts-from people that couldnt give a toss about me, and I felt that they expected me to do the same, I dont do it, I send a few friends a text and might take them for lunch or something. Christmas cards and gifts f that, same with these generic new year texts- I send about 15-20 personalised happy new year texts-

Weddings/christenings they get a card, so the gift/voucher/money will be acknowledged and they'll know its from me.

Re being gay, I couldnt give a toss if someone thinks I'm gay or not. I'm a very emotional and deep person, if I was afraid people would think I was gay, I'd have to hide away in a cave if people had that old way of thinking. 'oooohhhhhh , he's talking about his feelings'. Theres a few lads that act like that, and honestly, they've got deep issues, and it's quite obvious they dont want to face them.