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Keep it to yourself or tell your OH



  • Registered Users Posts: 120 ✭✭ 89897

    Tell other half

    If you're in a committed monogamous relationship and you f8kc up and cheat, not telling your partner is not a kindness, its a cop out. The only one it serves to protect is the cheater. If you're willing to cheat, you're willing to ruin the relationship.

    Tell them and let them do with that what they will. At least give them the respect to make their own decisions. Some may forgive and move on some may not. When you cheated you took that risk, now live with it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 120 ✭✭ 89897

    Tell other half

    Well if your promise to each other was to be faithful, then yes its so bad. If your relationship is open and allows for other sexual partners then its not cheating.

    If the partner is controlling etc they're an ass whether they cheat or not.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,910 ✭✭✭ Jequ0n

    Keep affair to yourself

    Interesting question. Personally I don’t get why it’s such a big deal either. I have been cheated on in the past and whilst I was annoyed about it it certainly wasn’t a life changing event. I think it’s a bit naive to think that you will never be cheated on, but I guess it’s different for others.

  • Registered Users Posts: 570 ✭✭✭ dontmindme

    Poll is basically - should you stop lying to your OH or not.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,194 ✭✭✭ CPTM

    Kind of depends though. Sometimes leaving is not really an option for the person who was cheated on. If you're talking about a zero responsibility relationship with no real ties, then I'm with you. But if you're talking about two people with very young kids, a sole earner in the house, two mortgages and a dog to feed sometimes (unfortunately) dropping that bombshell can only ruin their lives a bit more.

    The question is way too basic. It's impossible to answer without specific context, story, history, and details of the affair. I mean straight away are we talking about a Christmas party kiss on the same night they lost their job and shat themselves from drinking too much, or are we talking about a 6 month romance with weeks away on "work trips".

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  • Registered Users Posts: 120 ✭✭ 89897

    Tell other half

    I do agree the questions is too basic when its not the same for everyone. However in my response I still think its best to let the person make their own decisions.

    If you've cheated you should take the consequences that come with that.