'Cutting some slack' for old fashioned, elderly people?

bb1234567

Where do you draw the line? Do you indulge it?

Just came to mind recently as many of you may have seen a video on twitter of a young Italian lesbian couple kissing and are then physically broken apart and damned to hell by a very elderly nun. The couple think very little of it and sneer at her but I was surprised by the reaction online that many people thought the nun was in the right as this couple were 'disrespectful' towards her belief within close distance to what looked an old church/monastery or religious building (but it was a public street). I could not believe my eyes that anyone in 2022 would support a stranger physically assaulting others for no reason and enforcing religious beliefs upon non-believers (presumably). In fact it really pissed me off. Peple said to cut her some slack as it's what she was used to and didn't grow up to accept gay people. Well ffs, she has no choice but to accept it, it's a secular country maam. And how much slack do we think she gave gay peopleover the last 80 odd years of her life?

Done it myself as I am gay and followed the advice to keep it quiet around my grandparents for fear it upset them or caused issues or awkwardness in the family. That was back when I was a teenager and I'm in my mid twenties now and I feel huge regret that I never entertained the topic with them when they were in my life . 3 of the 4 of them are dead now not knowing that I was gay and I think it could have a very touching and beautiful connection that brought us closer, to feel comfortable to tell and to hopefully have them accept it. Anyway, my opinion is now that no, these issues are bigger and more important than elderly people's feelings and if they are sound of mind they should be expected to treat people with dignity as everybody else in society is expected to, no iffs no butts.

bucketybuck

I don't know what video you are talking about, but I am confident that when you say "physically assaulted" you mean the modern day pissy pants definition of the phrase.

Thoughts and prayers for the young couple assaulted by the very old nun.

whisky_galore

Thought this was going to be about AIB...

Try PDAs in some cultures and you get a lot more than a pushing...

Princess Calla

To be honest the nun may have had the same reaction to a young heterosexual couple.

Not everyone appreciates public displays of affection especially close to religious buildings etc.

bb1234567

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368747#Comment_119368747

Ah so because she didn't deck them in the face then it's not a big deal. How would you feel if somebody walked up to you and your girlfriend and had gaul to push you two apart ? No right to lay a finger on you especially not in such an entitled and rude manner

WealthyB

Respect is a two way street

You've no more right to push your beliefs onto people than they do onto you.

Ray Palmer

Yeah I ignore my mam's causal racism and sexist comments. She is just out of step and it more about not understanding what she is saying. She was really confused by grandchildren having trans friends whch I must admit I am unsure of how to address them on occasion. I mean you remember meeting somebody called Mary and the next time you meet them they are going by Frank and you are the bad one for "dead naming" them

CreadanLady

Why would being gay give you or anyone a closer connection to grandparents than being straight would? That would seem to imply that one orientation more significant or worthy than the other?

Indeed, why would any sort of orientation be deemed to be of greater or lesser importance significance than another?

I think PDAs, beyond a certain point, regardless of genders or orientations involved are unpleasant to have to witness. I don't want to see a straight couple snogging any more or less than a same sex couple.

bucketybuck

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368774#Comment_119368774

I certainly would not consider myself to have been "physically assaulted", because I'm not a little bitch and I think that description should be reserved for actual assaults.

I would probably tell the elderly nun to **** off and mind her own business, but I definitely would not be crying into my pillows about the horrendous "assault" I suffered.

Apiarist

If by old-fashioned you meant wearing clothes that were in fashion 50 years ago, then sure, we could cut them some slack. Physically or verbally abusing people is not acceptable. A short stint in a cooler would do that nun good, she can take some time and think about what a loving religion Christianity is.

"Not everyone appreciates public displays of affection especially close to religious buildings etc."

Unless the religious building owns the street, it is a public space and the worshippers have no right telling other people how to behave. Besides, a little humility and acceptance is promoted by almost all religions.

bb1234567

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368884#Comment_119368884

Of course it's differnt seeing as often many elderly people are not told about their grandparents sexuality when they're not straight as they are assumed to be intolerant due to how little exposure they would have had to it in their generation. It's very common based on what I see among gay people I know. And some grandparents might appreciate that you trusted in them when they are told. Which would be a connection that does not occur when a grandparent has a grandchild who is straight given that is the default assumption

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368884#Comment_119368884

Because grandparents may suddenly show you support that you never thought they would. My Gran was a very grumpy person while I was a child but when I was an adult and suffering from health issues she was there for me. We became very close as a result. I didn't become closer with her by being sick but the amount of support she gave me

Strumms

That video is a set up.

it’s clear by the histrionics of the ‘nun’ and the reaction of the ‘romantic couple’ that the whole thing is staged.

On the wider topic….slack for elderly people sure, but give an inch and take a mile is often an issue… some seem to think that they can do and say what they like regardless of the impact of the situation and their words / actions on others around them…that becomes tiresome too and they believe then they have a hall pass then to cause whatever problems or whatever difficulty to others… ‘ because I’m old, have some respect ‘.

CreadanLady

From what I see of that that video the whole thing was deliberately engineered, like a honey pot sting to bait the nun into reacting. It was very obviously a staged affair on the part of the girls at least. I mean, who gets their friends to video them kissing, or what right thinking person wants to video a couple kissing.

I suspect that it may have been known to the couple that this particular nun who frequented that area had a reputation for public outbursts on issue that would run afoul of conservative thought. So they say right, lets hang around and wait for her to appear and then shift conspicuously, fully expecting (and wanting) her to have an outburst. From their reaction they were definitely not bothered by it. In fact, they seemed to revel in the nun's having taken the bait and becoming so outraged.

There is also the possibility that the whole thing is staged and that the "nun" was part of the act.

Also, there is no wider context to the video. For all we know the orchestrators could have been antagonising and provoking the old lady for hours or days before in order to prime her into a final outburst that was tweetable.

ohnonotgmail

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368787#Comment_119368787

how is two people kissing pushing their beliefs on to anybody?

o1s1n

You just have to laugh off incidents like this caused by elderly people, they're more than likely just out of touch with reality and it'll just be in one ear and out the other.

CreadanLady

It's not.

But deliberately baiting someone you know to be liable to an outburst, and then filming them and trying to make a fool out of them for the sake of social media likes is not great form either.

The pair in the video just come across as attention seeking brats looking for notoriety.

Its in a similar league to fellas who go around with body cams on bikes trying to provoke car drivers into getting into arguments with them.

bb1234567

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369009#Comment_119369009

Gosh you're really jumping through hoops for this nun. Even if it's bait it doesn't excuse her behaviour. Odds are she's just a hateful old bint given the history of abuses and current school of thought still held by them towards the gay community. And nobody embrassed her but herself. You know, she didn't actually have to make a fool of herself? And then she did. Maybe you should think about that rather than thinking of every excuse under the sun to make her out to not be some kind of bigot.

You've even brought up the possibility the nun herself is a staged actor before you'll accept she's just an old biddy who did wrong and was completely out of line

WealthyB

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368985#Comment_119368985

Overt displays of homosexuality could be very well construed as pushing one's beliefs onto other people, especially if done around the confines of a religious institution.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368916#Comment_119368916

Speaking as someone who's old enough to be a grandparent to a young person who's the right age to be figuring out their sexuality - that's bollox.

We had plenty of exposure to G+L issues and politics.

Jequ0n

Why would you be cutting anyone some slack if they were brave enough to antagonise in the first place? Kick them while they’re down.

Still stihl waters 3

No one gives a fcuk bar yourself op, I think you're adrift in a sea of equality looking for something to be upset about

My parents are in their 70s. Obviously they won't always be liberal. Discussing these things politely and hearing them out is the way to find common ground.

electricus

They key point:

The couple think very little of it and sneer at her

they weren’t forced to stop or move on, just an old nun reacting to to a couple being intimate close to a religious space, I’ve seen the same reaction to hetero couples in similar situations.

AllForIt

To be perfectly blunt I think bringing up the subject of being gay to one's grandparents and wider relatives, excluding one's parents, is a borderline antagonistic act.

Unfortunately we live in a climate where every minority seems to feel the need to shove their minority status whatever it might be down everyone's throats.

I mean I can't imagine why I would ever feel the need to tell my grandparents that I'm gay. Like, wtf for? The thought never crossed my mind.

I always find it ironic that the people who make more of a big deal of a person with a minority characteristic these days are the people with a minority characteristic, than everyone else.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119370755#Comment_119370755

Lol at your lack of self awareness. You just “shoved your minority status down all our throats” then by your own ret ded logic. I wonder what shite you’ve been reading online

Doubt she would have acted the same if it was a hetro couple as some were alluding to, she literally says they’re women,it’s the devils work, the devil, the devil then blesses herself. Thou shall not judge and all that, the Christian’s commenting under it doing a good job of that as well. Oh well at least they didn’t end up in a septic tank.

https://mobile.twitter.com/breeadail/status/1549961328521089024

TooTired123

Saw the clip. The whole thing appears staged to me.

I can’t understand why so many people fall for these “I just happened to be filming when this happened” TikTok’s.

Sgt Hartman

I thought this thread was going to be about having patience for old people dithering in supermarket queues and at ATM machines

asdfg87

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058255482/cutting-some-slack-for-old-fashioned-elderly-people

I expect you very insecure... there is no line...

whisky_galore

'Models and crew' and a person recording on a phone, if that's not a set-up I don't know what is. Probably not even a genuine couple, actors.

Wonder if it was a Buddhist monk or a Muslim in their own countries that broke that up, would there be a different reaction?? Or would it be "be respectful to other cultures?"

BrianD3

That is so obviously staged. Extremely poor acting. Look at the expressions on the girls' faces when the nun gets between them. They were expecting this to happen.

I'm another one who thought this thread was going to be about AI fcuking B. That is a far bigger issue for the elderly and people generally than this nun rubbish.

ohnonotgmail

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369755#Comment_119369755

no, they can't. what happens in other people minds is down to them.

Sleepy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369755#Comment_119369755

Using the same logic one could argue that if homosexuality antagonises it's followers, the religious institution constitutes a hate group and should be banned on those grounds.

Watched the video. Ah here... this isn't a homophobic attack on a couple... this is a stunt carried out to be provocative (and really, doing so to mock the Catholic church in a western country is about as edgy as a sponge ball). Very old nun in "objecting to something that she disapproves of, and that her religion condemns, which was deliberately set up to provoke this reaction" shocker. She shouldn't have put her hands on the women but crikey, she barely touched them.

This does not mean I agree with her, or that I'm OK with the disgusting comments replying to the tweet, but something was aimed for by this setup, and mission accomplished. She's not just any old person, she's a nun.

And the women look delighted, and cameras just happened to be filming this random incident.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119370755#Comment_119370755

Is that not to be expected? Would it not be more noteworthy when others are getting offended on behalf of minorities?

CreadanLady

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119372151#Comment_119372151

Absolutely bang on. A total and utter setup to bait the nun into a reaction, to which they seem to take great delight in when it came.

Can you imagine how much more milage they would have been able to extract from the affair if it had been an elderly or middle aged man that took the bait?

To be honest the nun was a bit of a dope to not be able to spot that it was a deliberate set up designed to make her look like an eejit, and she was a foolish enough to take the bait. I mean, they had one or two people shuttling around the area with cameras not making much effort to be discreet.

But then, she looks to be very old indeed and maybe her mental faculties are not as sharp as they were.

In my opinion everybody in that video comes across as a gobshite in one way or another. The girls for their cynical baiting of an elderly person so they will get social media likes, and then nun for taking the bait and freaking out.

Sleepy

I'd have assumed based on the fact it was being shot on a mobile it was photos being taken for Instagram... hence the "Models" answering that they were "working" instead of trying to excuse the old homophobe's actions by assuming she was set up. TBH, I don't care if she was set up, she's a disgrace.

@[Deleted User]: to those of us who aren't Catholic (i.e. the majority of the world's population): a nun is the same as any other person deserving no more, or less, respect than any other man, woman or child. Her hateful views on homosexuality, whether formed through indoctrination or her own thoughts, are inexcusable. I'd agree that it was far from an assault and the girls look more bemused than hurt or offended. TBH, their reaction to this level of homophobia is pretty much spot on: it's something to be laughed/sneered at rather than something to run to the courts about.

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119368884#Comment_119368884

Well then get the fúck over yourself and look the other way.

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369776#Comment_119369776

There's grandparents and there's grandparents.

My mother in law is nearly 90, her youngest grandchild is 11.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119373516#Comment_119373516

Wish people wouldn't read things that aren't there. I didn't say whatsoever that being a nun makes her special (I'm not a practising catholic or even a believer) - I mentioned it because a nun is highly likely to be homophobic so what's the surprise about?

Also, the OP said "old people" - that's a varied group. An old person like my mother is a lot more liberal than a nun who's probably 15 years older than her.

Hotblack Desiato

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119370802#Comment_119370802

DId you not see the fella with the big DSLR?

Manach

Instead of focusing on egde cases that plays into progressive's victim culture another question should be asked. Given that the OP can know rely on the state to impose this ideology on people and arrest them for "hate crimes" should they dissent, the query becomes at what stage should the general public start mocking the perpetually offended types.

Hotblack Desiato

🙄.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119370755#Comment_119370755

Disagree with this.

People develop regardless of age. Shocked at my dad voting yes to same sex marriage (we talk more now).

People's opinions change. I don't like seeing pda.

asdfg87

I happened to be out of the country for both the referendum on both same sex marriage and abortion. I think its likely if i was here i would not have voted at all.

On abortion my view is its a huge personal decision and i don't think its anyone's business only the few people directly involved, why do they need my approval.

If i did vote on gay marriage i would likely vote against as why would i vote in favor of something i have no concept of, i have absolutely no problem with gay people but participating in something i do not understand a stretch for me.

Respecting the differances is what i be about...

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119412108#Comment_119412108

I have no idea of your thought process, but fair play on your honesty.

I'm not gay, but I saw it as meh referendum. What's the problem?

Abortion. That's a tough one. I agree with female bodily control. Most definitely. But relationships may break up over decisions

bad2thebone

Nothing worse than being offended because someone else wasn't offended.

Or not offended because someone else was offended.

Turn the other cheek has a whole lot of different meaning.

Stick and stone's....

asdfg87

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119412195#Comment_119412195

I don't have a problem with any of it, what i cannot understand is people have passionate opinions on something they have no knowledge of. I really think all of these are personal choices. I suppose i think some things should be decided by government without a vote but i suppose that against our constitution. I remember i was in Spain when the gay marriage vote took place and when i asked it was legal there in 2005 i think with a general vote. I also couldn't understand why 70% voted for something and the vast majority did not know what they were voting for. They were voting for other peoples rights, why would i bother?

walshb

Don’t know about anyone else but overtly public displays of affection no matter what your sexual orientation is just gross. Get a fooking room!

Larbre34

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119373739#Comment_119373739

She's right though.

Get a fückin room.

Where would you be drawing the line? I've seen it all at festivals and in Clubs in the past, everything from swopping spit to mutual masturbation to barely concealed intercourse and my reaction to it all is always the same - go and find somewhere private if you want to get off, nobody else is interested in your sights and sounds, doesn't matter if you're straight, gay or whatever.

Theres a huge difference between affection between two people and straight up ignorance.