Call the Gardai?

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 12:56pm #1

Boardsies we need some opinions and advice here.

Arrived home yesterday evening to find that the Christmas celebrations had commenced next door sometime mid afternoon. Family next door is mother in her early 40s (no English and very unfriendly) her boyfriend (mid 20s some English very in your face) her 3 kids (2 boys early 20s late teens 1 girl around 12). They are both heavy drinkers especially on the weekend but manage to hold down full time jobs.

The music is loud, the high jinx are loud but listen, it’s Friday night so who cares??

We head to bed around 1am and they seem to be winding down but at 4 am we are awoken by WW3. He’s raging ranting and roaring out of control. The sound of bottle after bottle smashing against the dividing wall is mixed with her screaming in terror and general bedlam. She’s clearly getting another beating. Please bear in mind that her own 2 sons are there.

If continues for around 25 minutes until it stops suddenly. We called the Gardai another night when she was laying in front of his car in an effort to stop him from moving, but we couldn’t decide last night.

They will leave the house on foot shortly, hand in hand.

Jequ0n · 11-12-2021 1:02pm

If it’s a regular thing why would you bother with the Gardai?

You could start a blog though

Dempo1 · 11-12-2021 1:04pm

Apologies, didn't spot the bit about the Violence, absolutely call the Gardai , might help if you've recorded anything etc

TefalBrain · 11-12-2021 1:06pm

A woman is getting a beating and you have to ask about if you should be calling the Gardai or not?

HeidiHeidi · 11-12-2021 1:06pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305041#Comment_118305041

This

11-12-2021 1:09pm

If someone’s being beaten up, absolutely call the Gardai!

11-12-2021 1:12pm

The woman aint the OP's problem... He's likely wondering if he'll get any satisfaction from the Gardaí, and is on here wondering about it.. They're foreigners, so probably not; but, then again, if they both have jobs, then there's the possibility of fines etc for some reason the rozzers may concoct..

The kids surely have mobile phones - let them ring the emergency services.

11-12-2021 1:26pm

If you’re hesitating, it usually means calling the gardai is the correct course of action. Don’t over think it- give them as full a picture as you can and let them decide.

Galwayguy35 · 11-12-2021 1:31pm

Yes its the right thing to call them but you should also be prepared for what comes after when they realise it was probably you who got the Guards involved.

And before anyone jumps on me I'm not for one second suggesting its not the right thing to do calling the Guards.

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 1:39pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305037#Comment_118305037

if there’s any question then I want to say here that I’m a woman in rather dodgy health myself. Im often here at night on my own when husband is on night shift. If the Gardai came last night then it’s clear that it was us who called them. So we would be to blame if he were arrested.

To be honest I suppose I am afraid of the repercussions for me if they decide that I’m the cause of bringing trouble on them. She is quite literally enslaved to him. Her marriage to the father of her children ended because of heavy drinking and multiple infidelities on both sides. She’s now got this young guy and she will quite literally die before she’ll let him go. I feel sorry for the young girl though. She lives mostly with her father but the weekends with her mother are spent watching them behaving like a couple of sailors on shore leave.

Relax brah · 11-12-2021 1:41pm

How can you not want to help a women getting beaten?

Of course you call the gardai, not serious if this is a troll thread or not?

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 1:44pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305169#Comment_118305169

Yes this is what’s stopping me. He’s a very aggressive macho impetuous head strong young man who won’t take kindly to any interference. And I’m too old to have to start dealing with a feud.

BKelly21 · 11-12-2021 1:49pm

I don't envy you op. Personally if it was me, I'd be calling the Gardai quick smart, especially if someone is being beaten up.

Also, you don't say if they're the home owners or are tenants of the property, if it's the latter, I'd also be getting on to the landlord, and let them know in no uncertain terms that their tenants are causing you problems, and ask them to deal with it.

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 1:50pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305213#Comment_118305213

That’s all very well until this lunatic is smashing my windows at 2am because I brought the Gardai in on him….

costacorta · 11-12-2021 1:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305213#Comment_118305213

Hasn’t she two sons grown men who can help her ?

If she has been getting beaten before and still hanging around with him that’s her problem as she is an adult and make her own choices.

She s in her 40s and boyfriend same age as her kids ffs let her sort it out herself .

silver2020 · 11-12-2021 1:55pm

Frankly it depends on what Garda you get.

Some have zero empathy and zero interest for domestic violence and some are superb.

Some make assumptions and decide to put an investigation on a one track road, others will get medical professionals involved.

Problem is you don't know which you will get.

Jequ0n · 11-12-2021 1:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305290#Comment_118305290

There is also absolutely nothing the OP can do if the woman in question does not want to change her life. Calling the police achieves nothing if she doesn’t want to press charges or changes her story later.

Fair enough if she was looking for help but she clearly isn’t, so there is zero point in getting involved.

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 1:58pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305290#Comment_118305290

She bought him a car. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s trying to get pregnant by him to try and hold on to him. I think if her own kids call the Gardai she’ll probably throw them out. Look thanks everyone for the views. I have to protect myself and my own family first.

11-12-2021 8:30pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305326#Comment_118305326

FAmily First.. Agree with you all the way. Suggest this woman would turn on you in an instant.. they always do to support their scummy boyfriend

11-12-2021 8:47pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305311#Comment_118305311

Not actually correct.

If there are ongoing issues if domestic violence and the injured party withdraws their complaint, then Gardai can indeed prosecute without their consent.

11-12-2021 8:48pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118305326#Comment_118305326

Why do you think they will know it was you?

Jequ0n · 11-12-2021 9:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307170#Comment_118307170

And the delightful folk will continue living as they were. You can’t help people like that.

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 9:13pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307172#Comment_118307172

It couldn’t be anyone else. We are the second last house in the row and they are the last. There’s no one else around to complain. He’s very volatile. A kind of a man child. A reckless driver. Very loud. No boundaries. No manners. I just don’t want anything at all to do with him. He was out of control throwing empty bottles around inside that house at 4am with a young teenager in her bedroom nearby. She must have been terrified.

11-12-2021 9:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307277#Comment_118307277

Surely if they are that loud it could be anyone.

Anyway, you want to stay out of it and clearly have your own ideas about what happens in their relationship, so continue as normal.

thefallingman · 11-12-2021 9:18pm

Have you ever confronted the man ?

11-12-2021 9:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307297#Comment_118307297

I would not recommend this.

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 9:27pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307293#Comment_118307293

they are the other half of our semi detached. The dividing wall is paper thin. When I am in the kitchen even with the radio on I can hear the kettle being switched on next door. If you’re in our downstairs loo you can literally hear every word. I’m not the most observant person but it’s very hard to ignore his behaviours as he’s a terribly inconsiderate person. He’s not bothering me and I want it to stay that way. I merely wanted peoples opinions as to wether I should have sought help from the Gardai or not when it was clear that he was attacking her.

11-12-2021 9:29pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307343#Comment_118307343

'. I merely wanted peoples opinions as to wether I should have sought help from the Gardai or not when it was clear that he was attacking her.'

Read this op, what do you think is the right thing to do?

Should you call gardai when you know a man is attacking his partner.

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 9:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307327#Comment_118307327

She doesn’t speak English, as I mentioned already.

Musefan · 11-12-2021 9:33pm

Guards should be called and perhaps, more importantly, Tusla. Witnessing domestic violence is cause for a report. There is a minor at risk.

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 9:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307350#Comment_118307350

I’m satisfied I did the right thing actually. I have to protect myself and my own family first . I have to remind you that her sons were both there, fine big men. They did nothing to rescue their mother as far as I could establish. That’s because she will most likely throw them out if they do. They have no family here. Where will they go?

TooTired123 · 11-12-2021 10:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118307370#Comment_118307370

Actually you make a good point about TUSLA. I’ll get on to them on Monday. Thanks.

enricoh · 11-12-2021 10:40pm

Was out years ago in the local nightclub and at the table beside us a couple were having a Barney. As I was deliberating getting involved the fella just headbutted his woman and knocked her out.

The bouncers were straight over n threw him out, we went out for a fag and the bouncers were giving yer man a few slaps. Who appears only the love of his life and attacks the bouncers! I was glad I didn't get involved I would have gotten bottled by both of them! I'm pretty sure I read a few year ago some lad intervened n was killed by a martial arts guy in Dublin.

I wouldn't get involved tbh op.

11-12-2021 10:50pm

Maybe, just maybe, the OP is indifferent to the travails of them next door.. Perhaps she's just sick of the mayhem, and that was her reason for wanting/considering calling the guards, and is perhaps why she posted here.. Is probably wondering (am guessing she wants the situation to end, moreso than 'saving' the 'damsel in distress' - I know it would be the same with me) , and foolishly hoping that the 'antisocial behaviour' would be nipped in the bud by the authorities intervening.. Highly unlikely anything's going to happen.. There's certain 'types' that get away with allsorts, and, other types (soft targets 😒) that would probably get a trip to the DC on a rare occasion they might have had loud music on, should another 'certain type' have complained about it..

No percentage in ringing the Gardaí OP.. % chance of the mayhem discontinuing, and for you to suffer no 'recriminations' ; without knowing the totality of the circumstances, I have it priced at 14/1 = <7% chance of a happy outcome.. Leave well enough alone, and it's likely nature will take it's course; the situation next door will 'escalate' , and you might get some peace then.. Harder to price, but I'd have it at 11/1 it'll be over in the next 10 weeks, which is also poor odds, but the chances of you getting hassled should you be deemed the person who 'dimed' your neighbour; well, that's priced at ~5/2, and for something untoward to happen on the back of it (ie worse than the nutter roaring at you) , I'd have it at no bigger than 7s..

Best of luck OP... Looks like a no win situation atm..Forget about anyone else's 'welfare' .. "It aint yours to carry" , as the yanks say.. She knows where her front door is, and she can leave whenever she wants; which she likely doesn't... Maybe they're from one of them countries that don't put flouride in the water..