Slept with someone else

partyguinness

OP...married man myself with 2 kids and yes I hear you with the tiredness and life simply changes with kids. I havent read the comments but I can pretty guess what they will say- basically a mixture of you selfish bad bastard even Hitler is shocked and just throw yourself off a cliff...to just say nothing.

I have not slept with other women in the same manner but I have been away on the Continent with other married men and frequented "high class" brothels. Yes I have slept with other woman and yes it is cheating. I am not here to defend it or justify- I have done it and I will do it again. It is very transactional. Well actually no- there was no sleeping. Just sex.

I am not going to judge you in the slightest. I know the guilt and anxiety is eating you up..good...LOL

But seriously, what makes this far more complicted is that is a work colleague...yes obvious as hell. It was not cheeky one night away with the lads in Glasgow. Now the fact she is married is a double eged sword 1. She is not likely to make this awkward and she seems to adopt the 'It never happened" or 2. She cracks and tells her husband- well then it's last helicopter out of Saigon time.

Reminds me of my wife's friend whose husband admitted to cheating away on a golf trip. She was pissed off he told her and told my wife that he should have kept that **** to himself....you can't win. They brushed it off as it was a one night stand but she would have been perfectly happy not knowing..."Don't ask don't tell". She knew it meant nothing and he was being a dick with the lads.

Bottom line is that you cannot take it back. It is done. The best thing you can do (IMO) is move on and put it behind you- there is nothing to be gained by telling your wife and everything to lose. Yes there is a lot of mental gymnastics going on and yes the "Yadda yadda living a lie etc etc" brigade will be out. You are not living a lie- you love your wife and that has not changed. Move on and put it behind you.

Not sure why you are getting a hard time for the morning shag...you may as well get one for the road. I'm with you on that score- it is a must. You are already well past the threshold sure you may as well make the most of ti.

mrslancaster

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118071193#Comment_118071193

Then stop behaving like you're still free and single. If a colleague you've shared a bit of office flirting with texts you to come to her room, remember you're married and don't go. The fall-out from something like that can cause massive pain to a lot of people including kids, extended families on both sides, your colleagues family, and it's not always possible to get past all that hurt. You've had a wake-up call - put it behind you and concentrate on your family.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, as you don't appear to be engaging very much with the thread, or indeed looking for advice, I am going to lock the thread at this point as there has been plenty of advice and opinion from both sides.

If you would like to engage with the thread and want advice on something specific, please PM @Big Bag of Chips @shesty or @Hannibal_Smith to have it reopened.