The humblebragging dishonesty of LinkedIn

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117983257#Comment_117983257

#sap is right 😄

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117983315#Comment_117983315

It's the "humbled" **** that annoys me. Why would one be humbled for something they strove to achieve?

vixdname

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117973956#Comment_117973956

Brilliant

road_high

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117986255#Comment_117986255

Yes those posts are on nearly every time I flick in to LinkedIn now. With the complementary graduation pYou’d swear it was an Oscar acceptance rather than done generic degree that ten million other people have too

I understand posts about completing a tough degree or masters later in life, but the "certificate in spaceology from the Correspondence College of Tampa" ones... dude, it might have been an enjoyable course but it ain't a career achievement.

Ye will all love the new trend coming of Video CVs. Recruiters don't want traditional ones anymore but a video cv that shows who you really are according to the last "recruitment guru" (yes that's what a 55yr old lad from Cork called himself) who emailed me through it asking if I was interested in a position. I told him that I couldn't post a video of myself online because "they" would find out that I was still alive.

Motivator

I got sent a screenshot of a girl posting her new job on LinkedIn before.

“Congrats Jennie, best of luck in your new role”

”Thanks Mark, it’s a great relief to leave XXX because I couldn’t take another second of you staring at my tits every day”.

mistersifter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117990942#Comment_117990942

ah yes. Jameson do this for their graduate programme (videos are on youtube I think). Ive seen it with a few "cool" morkeshing jobs too. Absotuely fúçking horrendeous carry on.

Also, "mental health" is so last year. It's mental fitness now. Or mental agility. Prepare yourself.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117991488#Comment_117991488

I work in IT (security currently) and wouldn't be the stereotype, as neither would any of the folks who I work with but none of us would do this crap. It's aimed at jobs where you can't show the results of your work or skills through a simulation/problen solution, like marketing, sales and management level positions IMO.

setanta1000

My company offers LinkedIn profile management courses as an employee benefit, including a section on the best way to incorporate news about our company in your posts......but always remember that "anything you post while an identifiable employee must be within company guidelines, otherwise you are open to disciplinary action up to and including dismissal."

LinkedIn is what it is....its a marketing tool, nothing more or nothing less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117973809#Comment_117973809

Twitter seems to have the same type of people on Twitter ironically. No issues with anyone complying with covid measures....but a person mentioning 'Fully Vaccinated' in their bio or name??? And with a pic of them wearing a mask??? 🙄

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117985522#Comment_117985522

There goes David Brent....I must remember to thank him later 🤣

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117990966#Comment_117990966

More of those and id rejoin with popcorn in tow 😂

mistersifter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117992642#Comment_117992642

The same lad also posted some image fishing for thanks comparing black people speaking at an academic seminars for free, to slavery. Serious bang of Brent off him.

Actually yeah, LinkedIn is just DavidBrentBook.

Munstergirl854

Found this golden nugget today...posted from an American account...in fairness if I found out an employee was interviewing at a rival company I'd ring and ask them to take the **** off my hands too....

AckwelFoley

Linkedin was invented for the same mould of wanker that uses the term "going forward"

Tony EH

It's always been a pit of cunts.

brianregan09

Facebook for w*nkers

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118169925#Comment_118169925

Self congratulatory shoite.

screamer

I joined LinkedIn years ago to keep in touch with a work colleague who lived in another country. That was way back in 2005 or 2006, LinkedIn wasn’t even mainstream at that stage. Anyways back then it was more like a work directory a way to keep in touch. Now though it is full of absolute bolloxollogy, gobshites high fiving each other, and “celebrating” this, that and the next thing. What a load of steaming bull it is, I never post on it, I’d be afraid to be tarred with the bolloxollogy brush. An exercise in executive brown nosing.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117982444#Comment_117982444

It doesn't need the Facebook type feeds to be useful though.

It just gets more and more toxic. In recent weeks I've seen by one of those "guru" types who post inane soundbites: "Hire for attitude, not skills"... er, what? Of course people falling over themselves to praise it.

Then I saw "when you die, people won't remember your job, your position, your salary", blabla... by a guy running a really successful business. The lack of self awareness is excruciating.

It just seems to be about how you play a bullsh1t game, what personality traits you have (are you vapid enough, do you love corporate buzz terms, are you excessively robotically cheery and into forced fun). God forbid you'd just be a hard worker - you must be sure to send a "happy Fri-yay" email every week, with your pronouns added to your signature of course.

Stark

Came across this self congratulatory **** the other day https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6861122610835652609/

"My boss chastised me for being too amazing and my team getting too much done so to show her up I became even more amazing". Yeah right 🤮

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118172339#Comment_118172339

yeh, it's all the opposite of what they actually believe of course.

The term that boils my piss though is "thought leader". Thats a sinister term anyway, but very few people are thought leaders - which I take to mean you have created a new ideology or way of thinking or something. All of these idiots will be full of whatever the buzz words of the day are, thought followers the lot of them.

What thoughts have you led, would be a good interview questions for these muppets.

Quantum Erasure

"flair and verve in the strategizing stages"

OMM 0000

Oh, it's awful. Give me crazy people on Facebook any day over the narcissists on LinkedIn.

Literally saw one the other day which said something like:

"I have failed and continue to fail. Work has taught me that I have a lot to learn and I am always try to grow and improve as a person. Like when I sold my most recent company for USD 8 Million, it made me realise my failings as a person and I strive every day to fix them."

But the ones I hate the most are like this:

"We think work is important.

It's not.

Life is important.

Family.

Connection.

The little moments.

I have failed, and continue to fail.

During my MBA I found it hard to balance family, business, and my yachting interests.

But I made it through and was top of my class.

And so on."

What the **** is wrong with these people?!

Fr Tod Umptious

I'm on the lookout for a change of job.

As a result I've spent a lot of time over the last few months on LinkedIn.

I hope to land a new job soon, because LinkedIn is doing my head in.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118189738#Comment_118189738

It's caricature levels of tone deaf/out of touch/lack of self awareness. I don't know if you watch the TV series Succession, but it sends up those clowns brilliantly. Multi millionaires trying to out-woke each other. Preaching about the environment while flying and boating non stop. It's not an exaggeration though.

ethical

Loving some of the comments on here and TOTALLY agreeing with them.I notice the same crap,buzzwords etc has crept in to Education and Teaching,an area I would be familiar with.

You find out soon enough that some people can talk the talk but most certainly cannot walk the walk........gobsh1tes!

HerrKuehn

We had one guy in work who was fired for under performance and stealing code from someone else in the company and passing it off on his own (someone in another team). I read his linkedin and he said he founded and led a successful team making a lot of money. Complete spoofer.

OMM 0000

How often do you w*nk?

Once a day? Twice a week?

It's not the amount which matters.

It's the attitude.

You can stand in front of the mirror crying while w*nking

Or you can do what I do

W*nking while watching videos of me w*nking

You see, I get it

I have failed

I have failed a lot

Last year while completing my PhD I was w*nking twice a day

I would sit there in front of my 98" flat screen TV and rub my 12" penis until climax

But what was my real goal here?

Was it to sell another company for millions?

Was it to impress my supermodel girlfriend?

It was none of those things

It comes from modesty.

I learnt you need to be humble.

And that's why I succeed.

If you are interested in using blockchain to power your business

Contact me now.

I have over 20,000 connections on LinkedIn

retalivity

I work in tech, and used to think that working for Google , FB or a big mutinational would be the dream job - good pay, nice office, great opportunities etc. But when you see the absolute gimps from these places spouting nonsense on linkedin, its put me right off. Really try-hard and on-brand 100% of the time, to the point of zealotry.

Strumms

an old team leader in a job.... he was by his position, on his ID, his intranet page and payslip a ‘team leader’.... but on LinkedIn and his sig on his work email.... something like if I’m remembering rightly.... ‘International Management Specialist’.. he wasn’t a manager he wasn’t a specialist and the closest he got to international was a week in Spain every couple of years..

but was one of those eejits on LinkedIn. Fake job title and with connections there to the whole management sphere, who hated him... commenting and liking if John Norris accounts manager and his team raised 2000 for charity “ here ‘count’ us in here next time John”...

die please.

ILikeBoats

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118191504#Comment_118191504

Made me think of the latest Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book where his friend has set up an "extraction" business to liberate people from the tech multinationals and integrate them back into society as they've been completely brainwashed

OMM 0000

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118191504#Comment_118191504

I know quite a few people working for Google, and they're all awful people. I suspect it's a terrible place to work.

I don't know anyone working for Facebook so maybe it's not too bad!

OMM 0000

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118191530#Comment_118191530

I remember doing a bit of stalking of former colleagues on LinkedIn and almost all of them were lying about their job titles. I managed them so I know they weren't team leaders and managers while working for me.

partyguinness

Jaysus...Linkedin. I have not logged in...I'd say 7-8 years.

My recollection it was just full of graduates in cheap suits desparetely trying to climb the greasy poll with the dreaded "networking" disease and trying to look relevant. As far as I am concerned nobody in my profession pays it any attention. It is a complete irrelevance and it would be embarrassing to even mention it.

partyguinness

I have just remembered a recruitment agent rang me at work last year following up an email she had sent me Linkedin...I burst out laughing.

OMM 0000

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118191680#Comment_118191680

Networking is real... but you have to go to events where people have power and you have to be genuine.

There is nothing worse than being at a networking event where everyone is wearing cheap suits and trying to sell to each other.

HerrKuehn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118191764#Comment_118191764

What is the best way to appear genuine while wearing a cheap suit? Asking for a friend.

partyguinness

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118191764#Comment_118191764

Real networking is as you say getting out there 'naturally' and recommendations based on word of mouth. The whole forced sales pitch in a room is just bollocks and just reeks of desparation as lads try to sell. It's been a good few years now since I has last subjected to it at a former employer but 99% of the people there without fail tended to security companies, landscapers and printers for some particular reason. I realised that there was nobody else from my profession at these events and ergo not to be taken serious- quite frankly it was scrapping the bottom of the barrel. Thank God those days are well gone.

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118191706#Comment_118191706

why?

AckwelFoley

I personally know one guy on it that's unemployed to the best of my knowledge but has his job title as World Rugby Consultant which is a very loose description of some translation service he provided for some foreign club team while on European duty

He's the biggest spoofer I've ever met by a country mile

mr_edge_to_you

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117974693#Comment_117974693

You need a scooter to chase after the dog

StupidLikeAFox

This one is a new low for me - the picture was a chocolate cake btw

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118215453#Comment_118215453

Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

Yeah don't you hate when you miss out on your *checks notes* chocolate cake for Christmas dinner.

Stark

"Don't think you can have your cake and eat it. And by your cake I mean me".

retalivity

"Commenting for better reach"

Piss off.

Glad that people already established in their careers can sneer at others, probably younger people trying to get started and build some kind of profile.

Same people on here also in the position of interviewing, expecting the applicant to be doing somersaults and saying the things they want to hear. Example, when I'm taking a dump, I try solve a few Stack Overflow questions. You know, just to show how keen I am.