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Dating apps and ladies over 35

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    #572
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,420 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    PropBuyer101 wrote: »
    but thats your experience not everyone has had your experience - that sounds like a limited understanding - when you can only see things from your point of view



    True, but as a parent, I'd venture that I have some insight into the mindset of other parents given that we have shared such a fundamental common experience. Three of my siblings and almost all my friends and colleagues are parents. Of course this isn't universal, but I feel like I have a solid understanding of the experiences of a cross-section of parents.


    On the other hand, I would never speak for or about child-free people. It's a choice of which I have virtually zero experience and is a thought process I don't truly understand.


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    #573
    PropBuyer101
    Registered Users Posts: 154 ✭✭PropBuyer101


    Hamachi wrote: »
    True, but as a parent, I'd venture that I have some insight into the mindset of other parents given that we have shared such a fundamental common experience. Three of my siblings and almost all my friends and colleagues are parents. Of course this isn't universal, but I feel like I have a solid understanding of the experiences of a cross-section of parents.


    On the other hand, I would never speak for or about child-free people. It's a choice of which I have virtually zero experience and is a thought process I don't truly understand.


    sounds like you are being discriminatory against people who dont have kids whether its by choice or circumstance. but hey thats on you.


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    #574
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,420 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    PropBuyer101 wrote: »
    sounds like you are being discriminatory against people who dont have kids whether its by choice or circumstance. but hey thats on you.



    No; I'm not.


    That's just you jumping to wild conclusions and being arsey again.


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    #575
    PropBuyer101
    Registered Users Posts: 154 ✭✭PropBuyer101


    Hamachi wrote: »
    No; I'm not.


    That's just you jumping to wild conclusions and being arsey again.


    elitist then - is that a better word


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    #576
    Greyfox
    Registered Users Posts: 3,726 ✭✭✭Greyfox


    Hamachi wrote: »
    It matters because if you are child-less / child-free, you have limited understanding of the thought processes of those women and men who are considering parenthood.

    This thread just keeps delivering silly post after silly post, and this tops the lot. Adults considering parenthood for the first time already are childless/childfree.


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    #577
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,420 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    Greyfox wrote: »
    This thread just keeps delivering silly post after silly post, and this tops the lot. Adults considering parenthood for the first time already are childless/childfree.



    I'm referring to people who have consciously decided that parenthood is not for them. Surely, you're able to distinguish between those who are considering having children vs. those who have actively decided against children?


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    #578
    PropBuyer101
    Registered Users Posts: 154 ✭✭PropBuyer101


    Hamachi wrote: »
    I'm referring to people who have consciously decided that parenthood is not for them. Surely, you're able to distinguish between those who are considering having children vs. those who have actively decided against children?


    you are not distinguishing between them in your posts though....


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    #579
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,420 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    PropBuyer101 wrote: »
    elitist then - is that a better word



    No. It's plain incorrect.


    There's nothing elitist about changing dirty nappies as 04:00 I can assure you.


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    #580
    PropBuyer101
    Registered Users Posts: 154 ✭✭PropBuyer101


    Hamachi wrote: »
    No. It's plain incorrect.


    There's nothing elitist about changing dirty nappies as 04:00 I can assure you.


    maybe take a nap then youre obviously grumpy and tired


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    #581
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,420 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    PropBuyer101 wrote: »
    you are not distinguishing between them in your posts though....



    Yes I am. You don't seem capable of interpreting any degree of nuance.


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    #582
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,420 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    PropBuyer101 wrote: »
    maybe take a nap then youre obviously grumpy and tired



    And you're obviously a crank. G'Luck.


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    #583
    PropBuyer101
    Registered Users Posts: 154 ✭✭PropBuyer101


    Hamachi wrote: »
    Yes I am. You don't seem capable of interpreting any degree of nuance.


    there's no nuance in your posts rather blanket statements. but lets cut communication now u r boring me


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    #584
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,464 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    Just based on the thread title , as a 40+ man I'm delighted to see 35 yo women on od sites. At 35 there's a lot still ahead of you


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    #585
    Idle Passerby
    Registered Users Posts: 1,121 ✭✭✭Idle Passerby


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    So are all your partners the wrong partner until you find the right one conveniently a couple of years from 40?

    I suppose a very cynical person might see it that way but my own experience online dating in my mid 30s was I'd spent my "prime settling down years" in a fairly toxic relationship that I hoped would somehow work out (more fool me, some might say) it obviously didn't (thankfully). I wanted to meet someone and I'd always been fairly on the fence about kids. I wasn't in the can't function without them camp or the definitely not camp so Id have been one of these insane 35 year olds that ticked "open to kids". My opinion on whether or not I wanted them was dependant on meeting someone I wanted to be with, whether they wanted kids and whether having a kid fit into whatever life we established together.


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    #586
    Greyfox
    Registered Users Posts: 3,726 ✭✭✭Greyfox


    Hamachi wrote: »
    I'm referring to people who have consciously decided that parenthood is not for them.

    You didnt make that clear in your post. In any case someone who doesnt want kids has usually also put some thought into the pros and cons


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    #587
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Idle Passerby wrote: »
    I suppose a very cynical person might see it that way but my own experience online dating in my mid 30s was I'd spent my "prime settling down years" in a fairly toxic relationship that I hoped would somehow work out (more fool me, some might say) it obviously didn't (thankfully). I wanted to meet someone and I'd always been fairly on the fence about kids. I wasn't in the can't function without them camp or the definitely not camp so Id have been one of these insane 35 year olds that ticked "open to kids". My opinion on whether or not I wanted them was dependant on meeting someone I wanted to be with, whether they wanted kids and whether having a kid fit into whatever life we established together.
    Sorry to hear about that relationship, I think a lot of people can relate to that and have experienced a toxic relationship in some form.

    Open to kids is better wording, as you say it happened with the right person


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    #588
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    40 year old woman here, married now, actually haven't used online dating since I was 33. Never wanted kids, still don't want kids and won't be having any. But my online dating profile would always have said "undecided/open". Because when it was set to "does not want children" the opening messages could be anything from "You'll want kids when you're older" to "that's not normal" to "what's wrong with you?" I never replied to men whose profiles stated "wants children", but I would say about half of the guys I would chat to or meet up with who had "undecided/open" listed too, did so because they got the very same judgement for openly saying they didn't want children.


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    #589
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Best option get chatting in real life in a scenario where you know you have something in common with a person


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    #590
    Donald Trump
    Registered Users Posts: 19,116 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump


    Plenty of women panic as they head towards 40. Not all, but many do. It's perfectly understandable. If it suits a man to be on the other side of that then good for him. If it doesn't then he can stay away



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    #591
    joseywhales
    Registered Users Posts: 4,011 ✭✭✭joseywhales


    It surely can't be hard to get pregnant if you really want to. I mean independently of any obligations afterward. We have literally evolved to do this.



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    #592
    ellee
    Registered Users Posts: 397 ✭✭ellee


    Can be surprisingly hard. Had 2 kids myself pretty easy, but no joy on a 3rd. So no kid appeared after I was 36. My sister drew an even worse hand, had 1 kid at 31, spent the rest of her 30s trying to have another. Eventually had no 2 via a donor egg.

    Not wanting to frighten anyone, I have a pal who had her one and only at 41.

    You just don't know until you're trying I guess.

    Really, we evolved to do this in our 20s. Modern life not all that compatible with that however.



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    #593
    FishOnABike
    Registered Users Posts: 4,379 ✭✭✭FishOnABike


    https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117613859#Comment_117613859

    It can be more difficult than you might think. Up to one in seven couples according to https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/infertility/



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    #594
    riclad
    Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad


    I think many women concentrate on their job and want to get promoted so they put off having kids until they are over 35. If a woman is in good health it's OK to have kids when they are over 40. At least they are being honest or maybe it's a way of saying they want a serious long term relationship



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