Dating apps and ladies over 35

Hannibal_12

Just browsing some dating apps and there seems to be a legion of women with desire to have kids "someday" which is fine obviously except most of these women are 37/38+ give or take even well into their 40s.
Only on dating apps due to obvious reasons and I'm surprised by it.

Leg End Reject

Are men not on them hoping to meet someone too?

housetypeb

Their life,Their choice.

kowloon

My cynical mind can't help but think a male version of the pill would decimate these baby traps. They only want you for your batter!

Thelonious Monk

Am I missing something, what's wrong with a 37 year old woman wanting kids?

TheValeyard

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Am I missing something, what's wrong with a 37 year old woman wanting kids?

Nothing wrong with it, but it's a race against the clock.

Tilden Katz

TheValeyard wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it, but it's a race against the clock.

I doubt many of the late 30s women saying they want children are unaware of that fact. Nothing wrong with having hopes and dreams.

Thelonious Monk

TheValeyard wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it, but it's a race against the clock.

So? Lots of people nowadays have kids in their late 30s or older.

TheValeyard

Tilden Katz wrote: »

I doubt many of the late 30s women saying they want children are unaware of that fact. Nothing wrong with having hopes and dreams.

Never said there was did i

SnuggyBear

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Am I missing something, what's wrong with a 37 year old woman wanting kids?

How much time does she think she has? To find a man who she likes enough to have a child with who also likes her enough to have a child with. She's well into the danger zone.
Let's be real here she's living in a dream world unless she wants to trap someone.

TheValeyard

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

So? Lots of people nowadays have kids in their late 30s or older.

It's often a lot more difficult and expensive. Far more problematic than people think.

Shure. I'm 39 and feel the exact same as I did about kids when I was 29, I'd like some just not yet. At this stage though I think it means a no.

EmmetSpiceland

kowloon wrote: »

My cynical mind can't help but think a male version of the pill would decimate these baby traps. They only want you for your batter!

I don’t think too many lads on here’s “batter” is in very high demand. Most of it is getting spaffed into socks or down the drain.

DeanAustin

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Shure. I'm 39 and feel the exact same as I did about kids when I was 29, I'd like some just not yet. At this stage though I think it means a no.

You can have mine if you're stuck.

Burt Renaults

I'm inclined to read that as them not having entirely ruled out having kids, and not that they've all hatched a desperate plan to churn one out before it's too late, and are merely on dating apps because they want some poor unsuspecting man's jism.

Woodstockdub

SnuggyBear wrote: »

How much time does she think she has? To find a man who she likes enough to have a child with who also likes her enough to have a child with. She's well into the danger zone.
Let's be real here she's living in a dream world unless she wants to trap someone.

“Trap someone”
How’s that chip on the shoulder?

Hercule Poirot

Maybe, just maybe, they are being honest and upfront about wanting children

My God, honesty on the internet, what is the world coming to?

DeanAustin

DeanAustin wrote: »

You can have mine if you're stuck.

How about an arrangement whereby I 'mind' them for you on Mondays. I'm off on Mondays.
What are their ages?

TheValeyard

DeanAustin wrote: »

You can have mine if you're stuck.

Ah yeah, we can all get days like that lol

SnuggyBear

Woodstockdub wrote: »

“Trap someone”
How’s that chip on the shoulder?

It's grand

TheValeyard

Hercule Poirot wrote: »

Maybe, just maybe, they are being honest and upfront about wanting children

My God, honesty on the internet, what is the world coming to?

Same for both. Could be a guy out there who knows he'd make an excellent dad. Meets a woman who knows she'd be an excellent mother. Could work if both straight up about it.

Tilden Katz

SnuggyBear wrote: »

How much time does she think she has? To find a man who she likes enough to have a child with who also likes her enough to have a child with. She's well into the danger zone.
Let's be real here she's living in a dream world unless she wants to trap someone.

An unknowable number. My husband’s granny was 46 when she had her last child. It wasn’t ideal of course and definitely not planned but that baby was healthy. Few women would want to carry a child at 46 but the early 40s isn’t completely preposterous. I’d say everyone here knows women who have had successful pregnancies in their early 40s.

Hoping to have a baby in your late 30s - yes, it’ll be a tough thing to make happen for various reasons. But the only way to ensure that it doesn’t happen is to not try at all. And it’s not necessarily pickiness that finds these women in this situation. Relationships can break up for numerous reasons and suddenly you find yourself single in your late 30s.

0ph0rce0

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I don’t think too many lads on here’s “batter” is in very high demand. Most of it is getting spaffed into socks or down the drain.

I can vouch for this

HerrKapitan

Hannibal_12 wrote: »

Just browsing some dating apps and there seems to be a legion of women with desire to have kids "someday" which is fine obviously except most of these women are 37/38+ give or take even well into their 40s.
Only on dating apps due to obvious reasons and I'm surprised by it.

Probably those profiles were written 10 years ago.

Hannibal_12

housetypeb wrote: »

Their life,Their choice.

No it is of course but purely from a biological point of view the time to get to know someone, see how you get on, maybe eventually move in together (if you can find somewhere to live these days) get married and then have kids the timelines are, shall we say, quite tight.

TP_CM

Hercule Poirot wrote: »

Maybe, just maybe, they are being honest and upfront about wanting children

My God, honesty on the internet, what is the world coming to?

Yeah I'd agree with that. My lad friends are completely done with girls who go on dates and then 4 months later throw out the whole "I'm just not ready for a relationship" breakup line. Actually now that the rest of us have settled down with kids, they're really broody and are actively looking for girls like that who know what they want. They're looking in that 34-37 age bracket because they feel it's more likely they'll find a girl who's ready to settle down and not get distracted by the queue of lads on whatever dating site is being used now. This exists for both genders of course, and is probably way worse for women, but it's great there's people out there who have no problem saying exactly where they're at and what they want.

Hannibal_12

Hercule Poirot wrote: »

Maybe, just maybe, they are being honest and upfront about wanting children

My God, honesty on the internet, what is the world coming to?

Of course that's commendable, it's the biological timeline to do such a thing I find a little puzzling. Someday to me would imply a distant ish future.

DeanAustin

[Deleted User] wrote: »

How about an arrangement whereby I 'mind' them for you on Mondays. I'm off on Mondays.
What are their ages?

One day? I need more than that. 8 and 6. They're little darlings...honestly.

frozenfrozen

Oh you're talking about borrowing kids... I thought it was a joke about borrowing man batter

Thelonious Monk

I don't get it, I mean most women want kids, those who are late 30s maybe still have some aspirations so why not put it on the profile? I'm sure they are well aware time isn't on their side but saying they didn't want kids wouldn't be true.

Thelonious Monk

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

I don't get it, I mean most women want kids, those who are late 30s maybe still have some aspirations so why not put it on the profile? I'm sure they are well aware time isn't on their side but saying they didn't want kids wouldn't be true.

Because a lot of men our age (late 30s here!) are unsure/not interested in having kids and we don't want to be alone forever. Spoiler alert to the OP, those of us who haven't totally ruled out becoming a mother can hear our own biological clocks thank you, and many of us have resigned ourselves to the fact that we wouldn't rule out kids someday, but it's also something that might not happen to us given 1. our age and 2. the frequent reluctance of men our age to commit to children, even in a strong relationship. So maybe it'll happen someday....maybe it won't.

OP, if it's a problem set your age slider to 20s and see how you get on :rolleyes:

Thelonious Monk

Deleted User wrote: »

Because a lot of men our age (late 30s here!) are unsure/not interested in having kids and we don't want to be alone forever. Spoiler alert to the OP, those of us who haven't totally ruled out becoming a mother can hear our own biological clocks thank you, and many of us have resigned ourselves to the fact that we wouldn't rule out kids someday, but it's also something that might not happen to us given 1. our age and 2. the frequent reluctance of men our age to commit to children, even in a strong relationship. So maybe it'll happen someday....maybe it won't.

OP, if it's a problem set your age slider to 20s and see how you get on :rolleyes:

Yeah I'm 40 but I understand pretty much every woman my age wants kids like now, so it makes the whole dating thing a minefield

Thelonious Monk

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Yeah I'm 40 but I understand pretty much every woman my age wants kids like now, so it makes the whole dating thing a minefield

It is, wish I'd settled years ago :pac:

SnuggyBear

Maybe the wording could be better. I've barely used the apps but I remember on one app it was "open to children" and another is "wants children"

Akrasia

How in the name of god, is a woman who openly states she wants to start a family ‘trapping’ a man who responds to that ad??

Seriously I’m glad some of you people don’t want to have children. The gene pool could go without it

SnuggyBear

Akrasia wrote: »

How in the name of god, is a woman who openly states she wants to start a family ‘trapping’ a man who responds to that ad??

Seriously I’m glad some of you people don’t want to have children. The gene pool could go without it

2nd date she will be asking so are you ready for kids now? Lol

Feisar

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I don’t think too many lads on here’s “batter” is in very high demand. Most of it is getting spaffed into socks or down the drain.

Can we have a slow clap please.

That's like the first time the quotation marks actually made sense.

Feisar

The problem is the world and how we couple up has changed but women's biological clock can't.

Sardonicat

TheValeyard wrote: »

It's often a lot more difficult and expensive. Far more problematic than people think.

For some, not for all by any means. I know plenty of women who had children in their late 30s/early 40s without any medical intervention.

My fathers mother was 42 when he born,his father was 49...they had a few more after him....a lad i went to school with father was in his 70s at his 21st,his mother been over 60 aswell....and they had/have a great relationship


37 isnt over hill.by any means and technology & science.as regards frezing eggs/fertility/surrogates etc etc is well known by now

AndrewJRenko

Burt Renaults wrote: »

I'm inclined to read that as them not having entirely ruled out having kids, and not that they've all hatched a desperate plan to churn one out before it's too late, and are merely on dating apps because they want some poor unsuspecting man's jism.

If the poor man is "unsuspecting" after having it called out in plain English for him, then I guess that his jism is better off staying in the sock than finding an egg.

DeanAustin

DeanAustin wrote: »

One day? I need more than that. 8 and 6. They're little darlings...honestly.

I'll take the 6yr old for Mondays, Tuesdays before 2pm and Wednesdays 4pm to 8pm. I'll pass on the 8 yr old. They can be a bit precocious and a nightmare if they are spoilt. I was spoilt so I can say this with authority.

Yurt2

TP_CM wrote: »

Yeah I'd agree with that. My lad friends are completely done with girls who go on dates and then 4 months later throw out the whole "I'm just not ready for a relationship" breakup line. Actually now that the rest of us have settled down with kids, they're really broody and are actively looking for girls like that who know what they want. They're looking in that 34-37 age bracket because they feel it's more likely they'll find a girl who's ready to settle down and not get distracted by the queue of lads on whatever dating site is being used now. This exists for both genders of course, and is probably way worse for women, but it's great there's people out there who have no problem saying exactly where they're at and what they want.

This is a common theme with some female friends of mine. They spent their twenties capriciously botching viable relationships with pretty good men as they move up the dating hierarchy (as they see it). They get to their early 30s and think they've found their Disney prince with the job/money/status/house/looks all ready to roll. Turns out the prince will trade them in in a heartbeat for the young one that just came in on the graduate programme.

Tears, heartbreak and confusion. The game suddenly doesn't work for them anymore.

Then they're the above age (34-38) on dating sites and trying to snare any man that isn't a serial killer and can hold down a job. It's the exact age the power in the dating market flips on its head and is fascinating, if a little grotesque to watch. I've seen it play out several times in my peer group.

DeanAustin

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'll take the 6yr old for Mondays, Tuesdays before 2pm and Wednesdays 4pm to 8pm. I'll pass on the 8 yr old. They can be a bit precocious and a nightmare if they are spoilt. I was spoilt so I can say this with authority.

I’ll be honest, my 8 year old is exactly as you describe x 100. But my 6 year old is even worse. I’ll drop her in the morning. Thanks.

AmberAmber

It's easier to tick the box that says wants kids than deal with the shock and drama of ticking the box that says does not want kids.

Surreptitious

Another woman bashing thread.

Feisar

Surreptitious wrote: »

Another woman bashing thread.

Not really. How is it bashing?

Yurt2

Surreptitious wrote: »

Another woman bashing thread.

Are we breaking omerta? There's a certain type of person that will hold that men holding any opinion about some women is woman bashing. There's an entire industry (and far more common and acceptable at that) of ladies' magazines poring over men, categorizing them, pathologizing them, giving tips and tricks to get them to do what the women pleases etc. I'm not that bothered about it, it's a thing though.

If men break rank and speak about certain women's modus operandi in the dating market, then we've apparently crossed the rubicon into women bashing. I don't buy it.

DeanAustin

DeanAustin wrote: »

I’ll be honest, my 8 year old is exactly as you describe x 100. But my 6 year old is even worse. I’ll drop her in the morning. Thanks.

Ah. Sure. I won't be long sorting her out. Gruel for dinner and plenty of slaps.

raclle

Yurt! wrote: »

This is a common theme with some female friends of mine. They spent their twenties capriciously botching viable relationships with pretty good men as they move up the dating hierarchy (as they see it). They get to their early 30s and think they've found their Disney prince with the job/money/status/house/looks all ready to roll. Turns out the prince will trade them in in a heartbeat for the young one that just came in on the graduate programme.

Tears, heartbreak and confusion. The game suddenly doesn't work for them anymore.

Ah, but there's still plenty of those types on dating apps looking for a replacement Disney prince

Username here

Feisar wrote: »

Can we have a slow clap please.

That's like the first time the quotation marks actually made sense.

Don't encourage it, FFS!!