Do Mean people ever actually spend it ? ?

Sardonicat

volono wrote: »

To Sardoncat, I'd call it a form of child abuse tbf. and the father an enabler who should call their children out on it.

100% agree.

JayZeus

JayZeus wrote: »

Firstly, anyone with access to BBC and Blue Peter made toys out of cardboard boxes in the 80's. Or RTE and Bosco. Ann and Frank were masters of the glue stick, toilet roll and blunt nosed scissors, along with every child and their mother in Ireland. The 80's was a tight decade for a great many, but to equate it to the experiences of those experiencing life a child with parents who had been through 'The Emergency' is just pointless. They were not at all the same thing and only ignorance would lead one to think otherwise.

Secondly, for many a man of his generation and even our own, going to work is how one feels valued and to have a place and a purpose. It's bloody ridiculous to think that a pensioner who's worked and paid for his travel pass through decades of public service should be ridiculed by the OP because he takes the bus down the road to the old works canteen to have a bite to eat and doubtless a chat with some folks he'd worked with for years. Sure what else is an old bachelor to be doing? Porsche 911? A fortnight in Ibiza? A week in Vegas blowing his savings on the tables, coke and hookers?

As a man working for the ESB through the 70's and 80's, that man would have spent a time paying more than 60 pence in tax for every punt he earned. He would have seen the lunacy of tradesmen (likely as one himself) buying family homes, then holiday homes, then investment apartments. And what good did it do for most of them? He would have seen society change, his surrounds in Dublin change many times, his workplace become full of university educated middle and junior managers, while his apprenticeship, experience and increasing years would have had many of same look down their noses on him.

There's nothing to say that fella didn't enjoy his lunch, his chats, his work, his friendships, a few pints, sitting by the canal docks watching the swans or feeding ducks, a fresh cod and chips and a read of the newspaper enough to be happy living the life he lived. The absolute rubbish people come up with, thinking they're superior in some way because they spend what they have or more than it, thinking there's something wrong with the other fella.

There no talking to some eejits though.

Why are you so angry because people think differently?

Sardonicat

Sardonicat wrote: »

What about when it extends to not turning the heating on at home, your teenagers unable to bathe daily because you are too tight to heat the water, never, ever bringing your kids away on holiday and looking for things like petrol money from your pensioner father for driving him to and from an oncology appointment?

Who actually did this?

Sardonicat

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

Who actually did this?

Do you want me to name them on line?!

BrianD3

Hyperbollix wrote: »

Had an uncle like this, not in the league of the OP, but he was an absolute miser all his life. Lived in a crumbling cottage he inherited from his own uncles, never paid a tradesman to do a tap on it but spent most of his life keeping it tipping over with shoddy, amateurish repairs.

Never bought a decent car, always went to local small dealers and haggled them to death over their bargain basement jalopies and would ruminate on a €1 or €2k purchase for weeks. When I was growing up, never gave me or any of his nieces/nephews so much as a selection box for Xmas, despite the fact he was a constant presence in the house. Getting him groceries was a regular thing, the big stipulation being that the cheapest stuff had to be bought, no brand names and every penny of the change was expected on return. Never married of course, without doubt for the reason that he was unlikely to find a female miser on his own level, and he could not handle the idea of getting hitched to someone who might spend a bob.

In the end, my father was appointed executer and it turned out he had a couple of savings accounts and investments with more than €100k in them and the house and bit of land would have been valued at north of €500k.

I'm sure the lifestyle actually gave him pleasure, he was the kind that fattened on this kind of puritanism and discipline. But to live like that only to to hand it over to extended family, is perverse imo.

100k in investable assets isn't that much for someone who presumably was quite old and had been frugal all their life. If he had spent his life paying tradesmen and buying more expensive cars, by the sound of it he'd have had very little in his old age.

If I was down to my last 100k in old age, I'd feel uncomfortable.

I'm only middle aged but have been saving since I was a teenager, initially it seemed to come naturally and there was no planning or thought behind it. As time went on though and especially post the financial crisis, I started to think much more about frugality, retirement, and fcuk you money. I didn't think I'd ever have to deploy the latter but then I did. If it wasn't for me having a level of financial independence from paid employment, I'd likely have had a mental breakdown and a relative of mine would probably be in a nursing home.

You cannot rely on other people or the state to help you or not to shaft you and you certainly can't rely on employers to treat you like a human being. Build up your suit of armour. Save money, reject consumerism, hide what you have from others, lift weights, practice martial arts, own firearms if possible and take no sh*t from any c*nt.

Sardonicat

Sardonicat wrote: »

Do you want me to name them on line?!

'me' 'my cousins' and so forth.

The definition of a mean person: one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. That is all.

Sardonicat

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

'me' 'my cousins' and so forth.

Well, it's not me! It is a relaitive and I witnessed the petrol money incident with my own eyes. Kids are late teens now and very messed up. Social services have been involved with the younger for a while, so must be aware of the carry on, not sure what, if any intervention they are doing, TBH, besides counselling for the young wan.

niallers1

Swindled wrote: »

What's the causes of unnecessary spending and waste ?

Probably insecurity and immaturity. Lots of people try to impress others with the newest and latest whatever and worst of all they try to impress people they don't even know and in some cases don't even like. They have to work their whole life just to maintain it.

I'd prefer to be thought stingy but free than a spender but never having real freedom. Having to work all your life just to survive to pay the bills or for the next best gadget is no life. Money buys you real freedom from being a wage slave.

Spanish Eyes

Sardonicat wrote: »

What about when it extends to not turning the heating on at home, your teenagers unable to bathe daily because you are too tight to heat the water, never, ever bringing your kids away on holiday and looking for things like petrol money from your pensioner father for driving him to and from an oncology appointment?

If it doesn't impact me, it is of no concern to me. I know no one like that thankfully. But what you describe is not frugality it is miserly and a miserable existence for those affected by the miser.

Sardonicat

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

If it doesn't impact me, it is of no concern to me. I know no one like that thankfully. But what you describe is not frugality it is miserly and a miserable existence for those affected by the miser.

This is true. It doesn't stop at being mean with money, they are very mean spirited people. Do nothing for anyone and full of gossip and vitriol about others, never stopping to think what others must think of them.

mariaalice

Everyone is still mixing up pathological meanness, which is a mental health issue like all these things there are degrees of it and it's not normal to not turn on the heat nor have hot water nor ask a parent for petrol money to take them to an appointment.

o1s1n

niallers1 wrote: »

Probably insecurity and immaturity. Lots of people try to impress others with the newest and latest whatever and worst of all they try to impress people they don't even know and in some cases don't even like. They have to work their whole life just to maintain it.

I'd prefer to be thought stingy but free than a spender but never having real freedom. Having to work all your life just to survive to pay the bills or for the next best gadget is no life. Money buys you real freedom from being a wage slave.

There's a happy medium though - the earth isn't just populated with money wasters and stingy people.

You can enjoy spending money while being smart about it and ensuring you have enough to get by and saved. I enjoy spending what I have, but I also enjoy looking for bargains.

JimmyVik

My brother started putting all his spare cash into his pension many years ago when he first started contracting.
If he had overtime he would invest it.
I remember a few friends of ours constantly calling him tight Joe for doing that, when he advised them to do the same.
He is mid 50s now and has given up his job and retired.
Has his house bought and paid for put is moving abroad to soak up the sun for a few years with his wife.
When I told the lads that they were wondering how he could do that and were a bit jealous to be fair.
He always drove a reasonable car. Went on holidays that he could afford.
While they all went off on benders abroad every second weekend and drove brand new cars that they were paying €500pm for.
Now they are all moaning constantly about not being able to afford a house. Plus they will be working til they drop to pay rent and pay off their debts.
My brother is not the type to laugh at them, but i am.
He is going off to drink Sangria while they all work and moan
Usually, i find when i see someone moaning about someone else not spending as much money as them, it is because they want someone else to be just as reckless as they are so they fell better about it.

Swindled

Ish66 wrote: »

But the Q I asked in my OP is...,Do they EVER spend it ?

Does it matter ? Someone else can waste it if they like when it's theirs.

Swindled

Deleted User wrote: »

The definition of a mean person: one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. That is all.

And the definition of a wasteful person is one who neither knows the price nor the value.

freshpopcorn

I don't really consider people who drive a reasonable car, go on holidays, plan to retire somewhere sunny etc to be over mean in general.

The people I'd know of who'd be mean they buy a house never decorate or upgrade anything unless it totally stops working, they'd have about one outfit for outside wear, rarely use the washing machine, electricity, live on beans on toast and canned food. When they get older you'd see them wondering around town talking about being a poor pensioner, going around in Winter without a coat and shoes with holes in them.

JimmyVik

JimmyVik wrote: »

My brother started putting all his spare cash into his pension many years ago when he first started contracting.
If he had overtime he would invest it.
I remember a few friends of ours constantly calling him tight Joe for doing that, when he advised them to do the same.
He is mid 50s now and has given up his job and retired.
Has his house bought and paid for put is moving abroad to soak up the sun for a few years with his wife.
When I told the lads that they were wondering how he could do that and were a bit jealous to be fair.
He always drove a reasonable car. Went on holidays that he could afford.
While they all went off on benders abroad every second weekend and drove brand new cars that they were paying €500pm for.
Now they are all moaning constantly about not being able to afford a house. Plus they will be working til they drop to pay rent and pay off their debts.
My brother is not the type to laugh at them, but i am.
He is going off to drink Sangria while they all work and moan
Usually, i find when i see someone moaning about someone else not spending as much money as them, it is because they want someone else to be just as reckless as they are so they fell better about it.

I always drove reasonable cars and took cheap holidays yet I'm still poor.

What did I do wrong?

Swindled

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

I always drove reasonable cars and took cheap holidays yet I'm still poor.

What did I do wrong?

Not enough debt.

The Princess Bride

Meeoow wrote: »

My ex was the inverse. Couldn't keep money. Spent it like it was going out of fashion. No pension, no savings. I tried to suggest to him that he should try to save a bit. Wouldn't hear of it.
It's a major turn off for me, one of the reasons that I finished with him.

One of my best friends had an uncle like this.
He spent every cent on himself, she paid for his car tax and insurance annually, almost felt a sense of disloyalty to her late dad if she didn't help him out.
Despite money being tight for her with small children, a mortgage etc...

He lived very happily, took ill suddenly aged 90 and died, leaving a few cent in his pocket and nothing in his accounts, and nothing to pay for his funeral either.
So my friend, who'd recently lost her job, and her siblings had to arrange a finance package with the local undertaker.

There's a happy medium between spending and saving, but I don't want to be caught paying for someone else's living, thank you every much.

mariaalice

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I don't really consider people who drive a reasonable car, go on holidays, plan to retire somewhere sunny etc to be over mean in general.

The people I'd know of who'd be mean they buy a house never decorate or upgrade anything unless it totally stops working, they'd have about one outfit for outside wear, rarely use the washing machine, electricity, live on beans on toast and canned food. When they get older you'd see them wondering around town talking about being a poor pensioner, going around in Winter without a coat and shoes with holes in them.

Again there are possible mental health issues in that, not the overt type of mental health issue thats really noticeable but the type that stems from a need to feel secure it might start with..... when I have x amount of money but it never enough to get rid of the anxiety its neve enough to feel secure.

Swindled

The Princess Bride wrote: »

One of my best friends had an uncle like this.
He spent every cent on himself, she paid for his car tax and insurance annually, almost felt a sense of disloyalty to her late dad if she didn't help him out.
Despite money being tight for her with small children, a mortgage etc...

He lived very happily, took ill suddenly aged 90 and died, leaving a few cent in his pocket and nothing in his accounts, and nothing to pay for his funeral either.
So my friend, who'd recently lost her job, and her siblings had to arrange a finance package with the local undertaker.

There's a happy medium between spending and saving, but I don't want to be caught paying for someone else's living, thank you every much.

And yet some other old person remarked about here, who left their life savings which amounted to 100k, which would have just about covered any big medical bills, or nursing care if they ever needed it, and their funeral, was deemed a miser for having it.

freshpopcorn

mariaalice wrote: »

Again there are possible mental health issues in that, not the overt type of mental health issue thats really noticeable but the type that stems from a need to feel secure it might start with..... when I have x amount of money but it never enough to get rid of the anxiety its neve enough to feel secure.

I get this I think my point was somebody who buys okay cars and goes on holidays isn't generally mean.

o1s1n

mariaalice wrote: »

Again there are possible mental health issues in that, not the overt type of mental health issue thats really noticeable but the type that stems from a need to feel secure it might start with..... when I have x amount of money but it never enough to get rid of the anxiety its neve enough to feel secure.

I didn't want to go down that route but it definitely came to my mind too.

The reason people are encouraged to save is so that they are in a position to spend in a situation where they really need to. That ranges from a holiday to a mortgage deposit, retirement or an emergency. Money is there to ultimately be spent. If you're hoarding it all your life and die with a fortune it'll still be spent, just by someone else.

I totally understand having a nest egg so you have that feeling of safety, however having hundreds of thousands in the bank and living on tins of beans and sewing up holes in the same jumper for years on end sounds like there's something else going on there beyond 'being thrifty'.

Strumms

irish_goat wrote: »

I used to work in a bank and the amount of elderly people with 6 figure sums languishing in their bank accounts is crazy. Worse still you would see their children paying off mortgages and living paycheque to paycheque.

I find that sort of thing distasteful...

What joy can you get from ‘looking’ at a seven figure bank statement ?

Put it to good use, if you don’t want to be spending it on a new Mercedes AMG every year, a jaccuzi, holidays, new home with all the trimmings....DO something with it, help with a mortgage for family members...

My aunt came into ‘serious’ money via a property deal she and my uncle made...serious cash. 1.45 million.

She paid off the remaining money owed on mortgages for her two children who were married with kids, youngest in their late 40’s and eldest exactly 50 then... and brought them on a cruise.... Both their husbands are self employed, one is a mechanic, one works as a corporate security consultant, she bought them both new van and car after they’d been driving an 8 year old jalopy van & a 5 year old car respectively...

Always admired that, another aunt said ‘are you mad’ ? ‘spending like water’.... ‘ ‘money is to be enjoyed not looked at’ was her response and I’ve always been in agreement.

Mad_maxx

Ish66 wrote: »

All his life, A Neighbour of mine,a single man was known in the area for being tight ! He never paid for bins, Small bags into street bins. He would borrow everything especially lawnmowers. He had a good job with the ESB down where the chimneys are.
Even when he retired he used his bus pass to go down to his old workplace every lunchtime because the lunch was free. He died 2 years ago and a niece got the lot.
I saw his will recently in the Sunday Indo, Including the house (360k) he left nearly 1.9M ! ! What was the point of his lifelong thrift ? Mental Illness ? Otherwise, What was the point of doing what he did for all my lifetime ?
I could write a book telling you what I would do....Utter Madness

my mother hasnt had a TV in twelve months since the old one gave up , she has broken furniture in the living room and i have to pay her bins otherwise she would just bring the rubbish up to my sisters in dublin , this despite her having a hundred grand in savings and her owning two houses

not spending and watching every penny is a full time job for my mother , she is also a chronic hoarder , its definately a form of eccentricity and the guy in the OP story sounds the same

Mad_maxx

WhomadeGod wrote: »

Life is for living.

Its certainly more prelevant in Ireland being tight and saving money.

I never cane across it in England as much or France people live in the moment more and take the good times and bad times as they come.

In Ireland there seems to be such a fear of the bad times they forget to enjoy the good times.

irish people generally are not careful with money at all , try scots , kiwis or germans and especially dutch

the character in the OP is a pure eccentric and a relative rarity

Swindled

Swindled wrote: »

Not enough debt.

Possible true. Outside of the mortgage I have no loans and credit card is never rolled over

Swindled

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

Possible true. Outside of the mortgage I have no loans and credit card is never rolled over

Obviously a Stingy Tightarse so, why do you not buy more "stuff" ?

daithi7

Swindled wrote: »

Obviously a Stingy Tightarse so, why do you not buy more "stuff" ?

Yup, stone the stinge, stone him I say!!