Your death

seamus

Whatever my family want, I'll be dead. Funerals and death rituals are for the living, not for the dead.

Organ donation is a no-brainer, but with any luck I'll be old enough that my organs are worthless.

Cremation is probably the most environmentally-friendly way, though if something else appears we can go with that. Definitely don't want a rotting corpse buried in a plot of land that either they'll feel guilty about ignoring or feel obliged to visit.

Kind of like the idea of my ashes being mixed with those of my dog(s) and maybe my wife before our kids do whatever they want with them. But that would require holding to an ever-increasing pile of ashes until we're both dead. Nice idea, but a bit weird in practice.

I want a normal funeral and buried in a plot back home, and hopefully it’s a good session. The Mrs will get all my passwords and pins after I go. No other specific plans.

gipi

Fandymo wrote: »

I've heard that they don't just cremate you and give the ashes to your family. They cremate multiple people and then scoop ash from all of them and put it in an urn. Do you know if there is any truth in that??



Edit: I'd love a big pyre on the local beach where everyone has cans and has the craic as I burn.

Absolutely no truth to it - there is a serious paper trail for each deceased person who is cremated, and lots of regulations for crematoriums including individual cremations.

Doctors room ghost

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

It would be nice to be taken out to sea in a boat and fired overboard with a few weights attached but knowing my luck I’d be trawlered back up and end up in a Donegal catch.
So probably just the old buried option for me.I want a very simple headstone though,none of the fancy stuff.cheap and cheerful

I always wanted to be buried in the Lough beside us, but apparently it's next to impossible. Even burial at sea is a bureaucratic nightmare. I agree with you, the simplest grave possible would be ideal.

I was at a funeral service recently where the dead man specifically requested no hymns at his funeral. Well he couldn't have had them anyway. It only lasted about 15 minutes. Just a few prayers. I like that.

YellowLead

Cremation all the way. Part of me to be hurried in a grave with a headstone, some to be put in an urn for my son to take with him wherever he lives, the rest of be scattered in various outdoor locations that are my favourite spots in Ireland and abroad.
I don’t want to wait in a funeral home first - laid out at home with a proper wake (open coffin)

Yester

I'm donating my body to science, just to spite the undertaker.

Doctors room ghost

Yester wrote: »

I'm donating my body to science, just to spite the undertaker.

Bitter to the end.I like it. Lol

Hyperbollix

Don't care at all. We have a family plot in a cemetery in a very scenic location and if that's where I end up, fine. If I'm on the other side of the world in xx years time and end up cremated and scattered in the sea, fine too.

Username here

Burn me. Burn me with fire. After removing any parts that might be useful for others.

Graces7

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Would be nice to be disposed of in the most “eco-friendly” manner. I heard someone talking on the radio about a new way where your body is, sort of dissolved, in a liquid solution.

Like with cremation, the bones have to be crushed to dust so there’ll have to be some “scattering” or urn involved.

There is a Natural Burial place in Ireland. Looks lovely.

Graces7

Talking of ashes; I once met an American lady in Killarney and she told me she had come to Ireland to scatter her brother's ashes in a place he loved.

There they were in her suitcase! Through Customs?

HildaOgdenx

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

It would be nice to be taken out to sea in a boat and fired overboard with a few weights attached but knowing my luck I’d be trawlered back up and end up in a Donegal catch.
So probably just the old buried option for me.I want a very simple headstone though,none of the fancy stuff.cheap and cheerful

CalamariFritti

I dont really care. Its not like I am ever going to know what was done with my remains. So when I die whoever has to deal with it can do whatever they like.

My flesh is to be put through a meat grinder, turned into burgers and sausages, auctioned off on e-bay, and the profits donated to PETA.

As for the bones, Viking funeral all the way, a massive burning ship pointed towards Iceland and given an almighty push.

TheBoyConor

Fandymo wrote: »

I've heard that they don't just cremate you and give the ashes to your family. They cremate multiple people and then scoop ash from all of them and put it in an urn. Do you know if there is any truth in that??



Edit: I'd love a big pyre on the local beach where everyone has cans and has the craic as I burn.

A crematorium in Cork is owned by one of the biggest wealthiest gangster businessmen families in the country. Wouldn't surprise me if there was just a skip behind the curtain and they hand people containers of kitty litter while the skip is later brought off to one of their equally shady rendering plants.

Strumms

In 2016, there for a few weeks was a reasonable chance that I’d have needed to make that decision but alas not in the end.

Thinking about it, I genuinely don’t care, I have no preference, I won’t be here...

I would like a regular Catholic burial in a cemetery or preferably a graveyard. One of those "double" graves with space for others and a nice strong monument which will last the test of time.

I'm not a fan of cremation for a variety of reasons, I want to leave some distant descendant who is into genealogy something to look at. As someone into genealogy myself I got a great kick out of finding distant ancestors graves.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades!

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

what are your funeral plans?

None at all. I want it entirely left to the discretion of whoever is lumped with the responsibility so they can do whatever is easiest and best for them.

I will not be there so I absolutely do not care.

I have no wish to put undue demands or responsibilities on anyone - and would prefer they do whatever is best for them at the time.

Of course the counter argument to that is said person might come under multiple conflicting demands from others as to what should be done. So my attempt not to stress or upset them could back fire. But thinking about the people in my life - I do not see that happening.

bunny_mac

Kenya Yellow Screenwriter wrote: »

I'm not a fan of cremation for a variety of reasons, I want to leave some distant descendant who is into genealogy something to look at. As someone into genealogy myself I got a great kick out of finding distant ancestors graves.

You can bury ashes. My mum was cremated but she still has a regular grave.

bunny_mac

I had it all worked out, I wanted to be buried here: https://www.memorialwoodlands.com/. I went to a wedding there and it was such a beautiful, peaceful place I instantly thought 'this is where I want to end up'. But I've since had to move back to Ireland and now I don't have a clue. I think there's only one natural burial ground in the country and it's way down south. So now I'm thinking maybe donate my body to science?! One thing I know for sure is that I don't want a Catholic funeral and I only want people close to me there, none of this local politicians and other gawpers nonsense. There were about 1,000 people at my mother's funeral and I'd say she hated 80% of them.

Cremation. Ashes thrown into the Atlantic off a boat headed for Inisbofin. Simple enough, ya'd think. But no. My husband's response is what if the wind blows the ashes back onto the side of the ferry, should he have them brushed down to meet the salty waves. :rolleyes:
It's going to be a palaver of which Mr Bean would be proud, that much I know.

bunny_mac

bunny_mac wrote: »

You can bury ashes. My mum was cremated but she still has a regular grave.

That would be what Catholics who get cremated tend/have to do, but I have to say I don't really get it. Why would you get cremated and then have a regular grave? Would it not be easier just to have a normal burial, presumably there is some sort of interment ceremony or whatever when the urn etc. is buried?

bunny_mac

Kenya Yellow Screenwriter wrote: »

That would be what Catholics who get cremated tend/have to do, but I have to say I don't really get it. Why would you get cremated and then have a regular grave? Would it not be easier just to have a normal burial, presumably there is some sort of interment ceremony or whatever when the urn etc. is buried?

My mum hated the idea of being buried so she insisted on being cremated, it was the one thing she specifically asked for. But my dad hates the idea of being cremated and wants to be buried when his time comes, so we buried her ashes where he will eventually go. We did have a small 'ceremony' when we buried the ashes, just immediate family and the priest saying a few prayers.

bunny_mac

bunny_mac wrote: »

My mum hated the idea of being buried so she insisted on being cremated, it was the one thing she specifically asked for. But my dad hates the idea of being cremated and wants to be buried when his time comes, so we buried her ashes where he will eventually go. We did have a small 'ceremony' when we buried the ashes, just immediate family and the priest saying a few prayers.

Ah that makes sense... a good compromise all round

xzanti

I want to be buried at sea.

Nobody will see that coming. They'll say "Xzanti; buried at sea... huh!!"

Matteyd

Would people prefer to be buried with their "original" family (i.e., parents and any siblings who are already deceased) or create a new family plot with space for their spouse and possibly children in a few decades?

This has caused a bit of a stir with my parents, as my father wants to be buried with his parents and siblings, which my mother is very slighted at. She has decided she'd rather be buried on her own than be put in that plot with her husband and all his family.

Antares35

Matteyd wrote: »

Would people prefer to be buried with their "original" family (i.e., parents and any siblings who are already deceased) or create a new family plot with space for their spouse and possibly children in a few decades?

This has caused a bit of a stir with my parents, as my father wants to be buried with his parents and siblings, which my mother is very slighted at. She has decided she'd rather be buried on her own than be put in that plot with her husband and all his family.

Presumably depends on the family. Mine have treated me so badly that I have no desire to spend an eternity rotting beside them!

Matteyd

Matteyd wrote: »

Would people prefer to be buried with their "original" family (i.e., parents and any siblings who are already deceased) or create a new family plot with space for their spouse and possibly children in a few decades?

This has caused a bit of a stir with my parents, as my father wants to be buried with his parents and siblings, which my mother is very slighted at. She has decided she'd rather be buried on her own than be put in that plot with her husband and all his family.

The wife would traditionally have been buried with her husbands "people". That was fairly typical in the west certainly. Grave would be dug up, usually by the family, exposed bones would be bagged and removed, new coffin put in and the bag of bones put back in also, and the whole lot reburied until the next time. It was a good way of doing things I think.

I will probably start my own "big grave" for my family.

farmchoice

Matteyd wrote: »

Would people prefer to be buried with their "original" family (i.e., parents and any siblings who are already deceased) or create a new family plot with space for their spouse and possibly children in a few decades?

This has caused a bit of a stir with my parents, as my father wants to be buried with his parents and siblings, which my mother is very slighted at. She has decided she'd rather be buried on her own than be put in that plot with her husband and all his family.

i know a good bit about this kind of thing, im not an undertaker or anything, i just love graveyards, i can spend hours walking around graveyards looking at the graves and seeing what history i can decipher from them, most graves dont tell you a whole bunch but in every graveyard you will stumble a across a few interesting ones.
im at the point now where i can hardly pass one without going in.


anyway back to the question at hand. you do see plenty of graves that might have parents and then a daughter and son in law (or son and DIL). but more often than not the son and daughter in law would have their own grave. its like a new family starts a new plot. usually when you see children buried with their parents its when they died young or they died unmarried.

nowadays there is a limit to how many bodies you can put in a grave. even in a large grave i think the limit is 4 bodies ( although i dont know if this might actually be a local rule as opposed to a national policy). in older graves you might see more bodies.

Montage of Feck

YellowLead wrote: »

Cremation all the way. Part of me to be hurried in a grave with a headstone, some to be put in an urn for my son to take with him wherever he lives, the rest of be scattered in various outdoor locations that are my favourite spots in Ireland and abroad.
I don’t want to wait in a funeral home first - laid out at home with a proper wake (open coffin)

If anybody leaves me their ashes they will get flushed down the jacks asap. The idea of having to store remains were i Iive is creepy to me.