Shiksha wrote: »
I am a mother to boy who is in second year. He has been bullied by a gang since first year. Earlier in the year he was punched in the face by one, in the school. It was unprovoked and this was caught on camera, the boy who did it suspended. However, the bullying went on. Lots of taunts, insults, challenges. Eventually (obviously without my knowledge) he agreed to meet one of them to be challenged to a fight. They all jumped on top of him, he was badly assaulted, again this was filmed and the film distributed. I have the film and it is horrible. He wasn't badly injured just bruises.
Then, last Monday after they came back to school from lockdown, he got chased and called me from the school to say he was hiding in some toilets. So I came to pick him up.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can do? I have spoken to the school, numerous times. Other than suspending one pupil because there was no other choice they haven't done anything. Oh, they did do one thing - after many, repeated requests the school reluctantly changed his class, but he tells me when they told him it was being done, the teachers were very cross and seemed to be blaming him.
His self-esteem is at rock bottom. He has very few friends as his peers are being told to stay away from him. I recognise that he is not a saint, but still, I want to help my son and I am hitting brick walls everywhere. I am looking into changing his school but I would be worried that the bullying may continue in other ways. I should add that there is a gang of about five boys, its a very large mixed school.
Does anyone have any advice?
Shiksha wrote: »
thank you for the support and very useful suggestions.
I have strongly considered changing his school and I have a place in another school. I am told that this group of boys bully other kids but they seem to have really gone overboard with my son. Over a period of 18-20 months he has been called every name under the son and challenged to fight. One of the boys whacked him, in school while the other ones filmed it (the culprit was suspended). They then tricked him into coming out ostensibly for a scrap with another boy and they then all jumped on top of him, kicking and punching him. That was also filmed. Strangely, the boys who did this are not ashamed that five or six of them attacked one person, indeed they are boasting about it and sharing the footage. Because this took place outside of school hours and off school property, the school say they have no role in this.
At this stage it is clear the school don't want to take action against this particular group of boys. So I am left with very little option except to change his school. His self esteem is at rock bottom and he has become quite negative and withdrawn some of the time. I don't know what goes through these kids' heads, I really don't.
byhookorbycrook wrote: »
Primary teacher here . My two cents : your poor boy has been assaulted . The school has a duty of care to him. They really, really need to step up. “ Contacting a parent group” is pointless, a PTA has no power to act , you need to make formal contact with the principal and the board of management.
Joe Duffy? Seriously?
Mrcaramelchoc wrote: »
Yes seriously. This kind of story has been on the air before. It wasn't long stopping after it.
Wouldnt you do anything you could to stop your son being bullied. I would.
JPup wrote: »
What you’ve described is very serious abuse.
If it was me I’d me in the school Monday morning banging on the principal’s door and refusing to leave until there was a plan in place to solve the issue. If the response from the school isn’t satisfactory I would be going to the guards as my next step. You have footage of the assaults so the guards will have to take it seriously.
whodafunk wrote: »
Schools and employers for that matter harp on about bullying and how they take it very seriously. Unfortunately when push comes to shove and it’s reported very little is ever done about it.
Meeoow wrote: »
I hope the new school works out for him. Can I suggest that you get him some counselling, as his self esteem and confidence are probably shattered, and this may make him an easy target not just in school, but unfortunately also work.
Shiksha wrote: »
UPDATE: So, the bullying hasn't stopped. The gang of boys are still calling him names, giving him looks, even though he's moved class. You could live with that I suppose. Only, when he was in a class where there is practical work, he was pushed and shoved and in the process was burnt with a tool. He has a euro sized, deep burn on his hand as a result. He tells me it was an accident...he doesn't want me complaining as he is already being called a rat and a grass.
I emailed a parent who is on the Board of Management, outlined the situation and asked if the Board had a role. This individual emailed me back, wanting to know where I got their email address and telling me he had reported my email to the principal. I felt the tone of the email was hostile and unhelpful, but perhaps I am getting paranoid at this stage.
It seems to me that in the school he is in, there might be an overall problem with lack of respect/discipline. My son tells me that teachers have been told to f---off in class and nothing happens. This seems outrageous to me, or maybe I am just out of touch? The thing is, this school is in what is considered to be a good area of Dublin, I am told it is highly thought of.
With regards to the kids bullying my son, apart from one individual assault, none of them has been subject to any sanction, punishment or consequence for their behaviour. So, they conclude, rightly it would seem, that they can do exactly as they please. So on it continues.
So, I have sought and received a place for my son in a local all boys school (this school is mixed). And that is where he will be going in September. It is a very disheartening and sad feeling to know that my son's well-being doesn't matter at all to the people who are supposed to be looking out for him, it really is.
In the interim period between now and June 4th, I am notifying the school of every and all incident that occurs, in writing. And also hoping and praying that this never happens again to him. He has been warned to keep a low profile in the new school.
Thanks for all the suggestions and support. Bullying really is an awful thing.
Dickie10 wrote: »
+1 here as a former victim of bullying and a teacher i would say you may need to change something to make sure hes not a victim of bullying again. I would look into finding out other students attending this school, contact maybe a parent whos local that you might know from GAA or mass or something or find out who are the "alpha " students , if you could get your son to hang out with these lads or get to know them this may help integrate him into their group and he will be well protected. I often notice bullies are not ususally the popular kids cower down in front of this peer group. So maybe get a bit of homework on whos who iin his new school. Usually GAA or sports lads are well able to look after them selves so think about getting him in with these lads.
My post may sound negative but you need to protect yourself and outside of fighting back this is the cutest way to go about it.