Plenty of Fish

Jonathan1990

I dislike dating sites and more so POF. With nearly 5 years of bad experiences on there which go from women ignoring messages to been dam right awkward, during the last Christmas period that's just gone I finally exploded and purposely got myself banned off there after a woman blocked me for telling her she looked cute. Said I was been rude. Feeling hurt I then went mad at several other women and called them a nasty name. I'm sure lots of women here would know why she did it too like I've seen when bringing my POF experience up before. POF also has a webcam feature now.

MadameHussein

Jonathan1990 wrote: »

I dislike dating sites and more so POF. With nearly 5 years of bad experiences on there which go from women ignoring messages to been dam right awkward, during the last Christmas period that's just gone I finally exploded and purposely got myself banned off there after a woman blocked me for telling her she looked cute. Said I was been rude. Feeling hurt I then went mad at several other women and called them a nasty name. I'm sure lots of women here would know why she did it too like I've seen when bringing my POF experience up before. POF also has a webcam feature now.

You seem to be placing the blame of your actions in insulting random women at being "hurt" by this one completely unrelated woman. If you took the high road and just carried on as normal after she blocked you I think most people would be sympathetic and agree she sounds like a headwreck. To be honest though, while I understand online dating can be frustrating, if your first reaction is to go mad at random women after being rejected by one, that's fairly unhinged behaviour and all you've proved is that she was right to block you in the first place.

FanadMan

Met someone on POF years ago - maybe 2005 or so. Ended up in a long term relationship with her. Back then it was a fairly good site and totally free and people actually responded and conversed. The last time I tried it, it was crap.

Since lockdown I've used FB dating and have met a few women. Have actually physically met one of them during one of the easings but she turned out to be a bit too much - trying to involve me in her family squabbles. Am in regular contact with two others who are sadly from the opposite side of the county to me so any sort of meet-up is still going to be ages away which is a shame. We've done the virtual date nights but it's just not the same.

YellowLead

I’m going on dates. I just wait 14 days between each new person. As somebody who lives alone I am allowed a support bubble. If that bubble happens to shift every few weeks/months I don’t see the issue as long as I wait 14 days between each person just in case. First date is always outdoors too.
Don’t see the point in endless pen palling - if I wasn’t meeting up I’d just pause my profiles.

Church on Tuesday

Jonathan1990 wrote: »

I dislike dating sites and more so POF. With nearly 5 years of bad experiences on there which go from women ignoring messages to been dam right awkward, during the last Christmas period that's just gone I finally exploded and purposely got myself banned off there after a woman blocked me for telling her she looked cute. Said I was been rude. Feeling hurt I then went mad at several other women and called them a nasty name. I'm sure lots of women here would know why she did it too like I've seen when bringing my POF experience up before. POF also has a webcam feature now.

I'd say stay off of POF if it's making you act this way TBH.

Women who ignore messages either A. simply aren't interested in you or dating or B. your message has got lost in the endless noise of of boring opening messages or unsolicited pics. I wouldn't take it personally, not every women will be attracted to you and really vice versa. Simply move on to the next.

You will encounter rude women on POF, many are simply unhinged. I had an unpleasant encounter myself on there a few weeks back, called the woman out on her behavior (not in a nasty way) then blocked and moved on. Pass no heed. Taking your frustrations out on other profiles isn't on and is ungentlemanly, in all honesty, this will be the biggest turn off of all and women can spot that kind of angry behavior in most cases a mile way.

Something to bare in mind in the future.

B.A._Baracus

It's good to see attitudes have changed tho.
There has been many threads about online dating in After Hours over the years. Often about POF and if anyone (usually a guy) said anything negative about it, people would jump on them with the usual lines of "something must be wrong with you" / "pof is great" / "you must have boring pics or profile" etc.

Seems most are just calling a spade thusly.

Feisar

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I'd say stay off of POF if it's making you act this way TBH.

Women who ignore messages either A. simply aren't interested in you or dating or B. your message has got lost in the endless noise of of boring opening messages or unsolicited pics. I wouldn't take it personally, not every women will be attracted to you and really vice versa. Simply move on to the next.

You will encounter rude women on POF, many are simply unhinged. I had an unpleasant encounter myself on there a few weeks back, called the woman out on her behavior (not in a nasty way) then blocked and moved on. Pass no heed. Taking your frustrations out on other profiles isn't on and is ungentlemanly, in all honesty, this will be the biggest turn off of all and women can spot that kind of angry behavior in most cases a mile way.

Something to bare in mind in the future.

In fairness you were fairly polite there. It's unhinged to go name calling other people because someone was rude.

The only problem I had with POF back in the day was I was so need deep in women I let a load of good ones go. Meeting six women on a Sat/Sun is tough going.

No again Danni

Iren Duke wrote: »

I don't feel bad cos I only do it to the hottest girls, the ones who wouldn't give me the time of day irl. Feels good to take em down a peg or two

Feels good to try to bring them somewhere closer to your level... in your head...more like.

Reminds me of that episode of Catfish where the guy met a trans women. He was adamant that he was straight but was reluctantly willing to meet her because they had such a great connection he couldn't deny.

Turned out, she was just pretending to be trans and was actually a woman :pac: Mr 'Straight' wasn't so interested in her then. The lies people tell themselves.

py

up for anything wrote: »

All in all, it's not you, it's us. We have standards. :D:D

Time for a name change so...

1o059k7ewrqj3n

Jesus christ I need a bottle of scotch after seeing that twitter link

sassyj

Steyr 556 wrote: »

Jesus christ I need a bottle of scotch after seeing that twitter link

What didI miss???

billyhead

Is it worth paying on these dating sites. Any time you want to see people who liked you or added you to their favourites for example you have to pay extra. Is it a gimmick?

YellowLead

billyhead wrote: »

Is it worth paying on these dating sites. Any time you want to see people who liked you or added you to their favourites for example you have to pay extra. Is it a gimmick?

With hinge you don’t have to pay to see who has liked you.

I paid when there was special offers for a week for both tinder and bumble - purely for ego! It was fun.

I think paying is worth it for men as women are pickier about sending out likes and you have more of a shot when just looking where you get likes. Women get hundreds of likes so paying to see them doesn’t really help.

Age is a factor too. When I was still 35 I never hit like and it wasn’t a match. Since turning 36 now sometimes I swipe and it’s not a match - I’m deffo not as popular once past the 35 and younger category and I didn’t change my profile.

Mad_maxx

is Match.com still on the go ?

thats how i met my other half back in the day , met a lot of women on Match

signed up to POF and never had as much as a conversation with anyone but got plenty of messages from BOTS

YellowLead

Mad_maxx wrote: »

is Match.com still on the go ?

thats how i met my other half back in the day , met a lot of women on Match

signed up to POF and never had as much as a conversation with anyone but got plenty of messages from BOTS

Do you have to pay for Match?

xzanti

In my day it was all "ASL" on Yahoo Chat.

billyhead

Mad_maxx wrote: »

is Match.com still on the go ?

thats how i met my other half back in the day , met a lot of women on Match

signed up to POF and never had as much as a conversation with anyone but got plenty of messages from BOTS

What's BOTS?

Mad_maxx

YellowLead wrote: »

Do you have to pay for Match?

You did eight or nine years ago

Pls Respond

Couldn't be arsed with online dating. There's other sites where you're guaranteed a woman for the night. I do that once a month usually

YellowLead

Mad_maxx wrote: »

You did eight or nine years ago

Yeah I think you still do which is why I wasn’t arsed - too many free sites that do the same job.

billyhead

YellowLead wrote: »

Yeah I think you still do which is why I wasn’t arsed - too many free sites that do the same job.

Any examples of these sites?

YellowLead

billyhead wrote: »

Any examples of these sites?

Hinge. Bumble. Tinder. Albeit the latter is too much work.

Potential-Monke

From my own experience, I have a 100% fail rate at matching. Sorry, that's a lie, I do match, but with people who either are far removed from the looks department or whose profile read like a potential hassle. They were still very few and far between, and the only person I know who matched with me that I would have met was my then friendzoned best friend. She thought it was hilarious that I was her first match. We laughed. She rode other people.

This is across Tinder, POF, AdultFriendFinder and Match. Paid for 3 of those, didn't make a difference. I rewrote my profile many times, even got women to write them for me, and nah. I seem to only attract those who seem to care less about their personal appearance than most. Looks are an attracting factor, but I prefer personality. But they still need the looks somewhat.

I initially decided it must be me, I'm not good looking enough (I don't think I'm ugly, I've had 2 fairly beautiful looking women in long term relationships, so I can't be that bad considering they could have said no to me), I'm not fashionable enough (although, if fashion is something a potential partner is big into, we won't get on anyway). My height is definitely a turn off, only 5'6" but apparently lads lie so when I tell the truth it is taken that I'm lying and much smaller. Also a red head which excludes even more.

So I gave up, resigned myself to singleton for life and if that changes, bonus. One female friend told me it's because I'm a good guy, that I don't have a bad streak to keep the relationship interesting. I never understood that. Some women would willingly take the better looking fella who will most likely break your heart over the average looking guy who will never feck you over... I don't care how that's explained, it just doesn't make sense. So I've given up trying. Turned into a bitter 30-something who knows everyone else is wrong and I'm right. Or something like that.

up for anything

Jonathan1990 wrote: »

Feeling hurt I then went mad at several other women and called them a nasty name.

Not cool.

Ultrflat wrote: »

Yeah ladies also need to learn to stop talking to there ex's :rolleyes:. Its so painful to listen to.

I'm sure. Someday the planets will be in alignment and the moon will be in the seventh house and me and my true love will talk about us. The only person I want to talk about my ex to is a hitman.

FanadMan

Potential-Monke wrote: »

So I gave up, resigned myself to singleton for life and if that changes, bonus. One female friend told me it's because I'm a good guy, that I don't have a bad streak to keep the relationship interesting. I never understood that. Some women would willingly take the better looking fella who will most likely break your heart over the average looking guy who will never feck you over... I don't care how that's explained, it just doesn't make sense. So I've given up trying. Turned into a bitter 30-something who knows everyone else is wrong and I'm right. Or something like that.

Since the lockdown I grew my beard. From the time I posted new beardy pics I've had a lot more replies. Plus, I have long hair (old skool metal head ) so maybe some women like the "rougher" look. BTW I am so far from the sterotypical rough metal head, but the look seems to attract.

Hope you find someone. Me, I just want lockdown gone so I can get the leg over lol

Tchaikovsky

Over a decade ago I posted a fair bit about dates I went on from POF that went nowhere but thanks to the site I met my lovely gf and we've been together for over 8 years now.

YellowLead

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

Over a decade ago I posted a fair bit about dates I went on from POF that went nowhere but thanks to the site I met my lovely gf and we've been together for over 8 years now.

This kind of post gives me hope. I’ve been at it (online dating) for a year now and plenty of dates alright but nothing that lasted beyond 6 weeks or so, and generally more like 2.

Sometimes I feel like giving up but then I remind myself of all the people I know that it was a slog for years until suddenly they meet somebody.

ELM327

I met my OH of 9 years on OKC (OK Cupid) dating site, I found it much better than POF back in the day. (Note, this was 2012 so before tinder!)

Tchaikovsky

YellowLead wrote: »

This kind of post gives me hope. I’ve been at it (online dating) for a year now and plenty of dates alright but nothing that lasted beyond 6 weeks or so, and generally more like 2.

Sometimes I feel like giving up but then I remind myself of all the people I know that it was a slog for years until suddenly they meet somebody.

You definitely should. The frustration and disillusionment was worth it to have ended up with her. Keep at it

Ultrflat

ELM327 wrote: »

I met my OH of 9 years on OKC (OK Cupid) dating site, I found it much better than POF back in the day. (Note, this was 2012 so before tinder!)

That was a great site back in the day. Match.com bought it and turned it into PAYWALL south central. :rolleyes: