Partner moving into my house

elperello

ebayissues wrote: »

Is this it?

https://dowlingfinancial.ie/news/why-living-together-could-cost-you-tens-of-thousands-of-euro/

That's it, well done.

I hope it is useful.

A euro saved

random_banter

ebayissues wrote: »

They should be entitled to zero. Absolutely zero.

A buys a house by himself, pays for simplicity 30K deposit. Further 5k in fees and let's just 2k lusc expenses. 2yrs down the line, he meets B and another year B moves in and they decide to she pays 400 pm. 3yrs time, they split. What's the reasoning for B demanding % of 14.4k back? If B, was renting its likely she'll pay more than 400pm.

In this example, interest payment would account for likely 50% of mortgage, so equity would probably be 3.5k. I'd say another 30% is what I'd be willing to give but that's me being generous. B has to pay rent. If both parties were renting and thry split would she think of asking money back from LL?

Jesus ****ing christ, the laws in this country baffles me.

Come to think about it my solicitor told me if I have a gf and I can't sell the house without her permission.

That might work for you in your own situation, but this thread shows that all situations are different.

For me, I’m paying the same rent to my partner now that I was paying when I was renting from a stranger. Plus I’m topping up my deposit on top of that. I’m not making any savings, in fact it’s costing me more to live like this. We agreed we would look at buying a property together in the future but the market is pretty crap for buyers at the mo. I could be living in my own place with my own mortgage the last 2 years - but we agreed to move into his place instead. So I’m losing out on paying into my own equity. Meanwhile, my o/h does not have the attitude of the above poster who believes the partner should be entitled to something back should the relationship go south.

I’ve paid over 30k to my partner in the last few years in rent. As I said earlier in the thread, if we weren’t planning to buy very soon, this would become a bone of contention - very soon. I would need to put an end to that financial arrangement. The relationship is very sound but money will eventually become an issue for anyone with an eye on their personal finances.

OP, make a short and medium and long term plan with your partner so that you both know where you’re going in relation to accommodation/property and your personal finances. That’s my 2c.

All good opinions and experiences here for the OP from a variety of people which I think is the value of a thread like this.

pwurple

To all the people complaining about the dependency laws, think of the bigger picture, it's more than just you. The co-habitation law was hard fought, mainly to protect children and lower income partners from being chucked onto the street penniless, when some person decided he or she was tired of the old family, wanted a new partner and start another brood. It's not gender specific. We had fairly archaic laws before that, which meant unmarried people had no protection and being "illegitimate" meant you were at real risk, a second-class citizen.

Yes, now, if you're in a relationship you are taking on joint financial responsibilities that may need to be resolved in a breakup.

Welcome to adulting.

fincollins

Jazus this is a serious eye-opener of a thread

YellowLead

It is I’m amazed there are people who think it’s cool to ask your partner to pay half your mortgage for you and then to send them on their merry way without compensation. Yet there are others who think it’s mad somebody would expect some equity in a house they are paying into a mortgage on. It’s a good debate!

punisher5112

punisher5112 wrote: »

I believe we should have prenuptial agreement here.....

ED E wrote: »

Yeah, its a bit of a disaster that its prevented here.

We do but a court can ignore them if they consider them unfair to one of the parties. A pre-nup is a legal contract like any other and in all contracts, a party can take a case to the courts for a decision.

Myself and herself have a pre-nup which is repeated in our wills to some extent due to properties in Ireland and Spain. Basically if we divorce, I keep the Irish house, she keeps the Spanish apartment but the solicitor told us that if theres a serious imbalance in values, it could still be brought to court and a cash payment ordered to balance the values.

That being said, 2 private life policies on me so if shes thinking along those lines, Im being buried under a bridge.

I wouldn't ask a partner to contribute to paying my mortgage until we were married. Split the bills, maybe agree that they cover the cost of a yearly holiday or something. But, by and large, the expectation would be that they'd save and be able to contribute a lump sum to the mortgage when you eventually tie the knot.

Good luck with whatever you both decide on.

Claw Hammer

There are sneakier ways for the homeowner to avoid giving equity to the partner. One guy I knew set up his own bank account for the mortgage and had his salary paid into it and set up another joint account with the partner out of which utilities and groceries were paid.
All house insurance and repairs and capital outlay on the house was paid from the single account. He got the partner to pay the greater amount into the joint account because "I have to pay the mortgage". There was no dependency involved as the partner had a good job. When she lost it, he kicked her out. She had no claim to anything.

YellowLead

Claw Hammer wrote: »

There are sneakier ways for the homeowner to avoid giving equity to the partner. One guy I knew set up his own bank account for the mortgage and had his salary paid into it and set up another joint account with the partner out of which utilities and groceries were paid.
All house insurance and repairs and capital outlay on the house was paid from the single account. He got the partner to pay the greater amount into the joint account because "I have to pay the mortgage". There was no dependency involved as the partner had a good job. When she lost it, he kicked her out. She had no claim to anything.

Sounds like she wasn’t paying into the mortgage only bills so why would she have had a claim. Sounds a bit mean of the guy not to have given her a small amount though if she was paying more into bills than he was.

Mrs OBumble

Claw Hammer wrote: »

There are sneakier ways for the homeowner to avoid giving equity to the partner. One guy I knew set up his own bank account for the mortgage and had his salary paid into it and set up another joint account with the partner out of which utilities and groceries were paid.
All house insurance and repairs and capital outlay on the house was paid from the single account. He got the partner to pay the greater amount into the joint account because "I have to pay the mortgage". There was no dependency involved as the partner had a good job. When she lost it, he kicked her out. She had no claim to anything.

Even sneaker is to have two accounts in his name, and all the bills in his name too. When the relationship goes south, she's got no proof that she was living there at all.

And yes, there are people who do things like this.

dev_ire

Do people here think you deserve a slice of a house you paid rent in if you are not "dependent"? Obviously taking care of someone at home looking after the kids etc is different but I mean if you both have a job and one person took on all the risk in the house and you just paid to live there do you think you deserve a share if you break up?

Dolbhad

InterestedK wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm looking for some advice.

I'm thinking about asking my partner to move into the house that I own (took out a mortgage last year), but I want to make sure that I do it in the right way, so that should something happen between us, that he is not entitled to any piece of the property and contents etc.

I have heard that the best way to do this is to simply set up a rent book and keep track each month of the rent that he will pay me, plus bills, so technically he is a lodger, but I just want to be sure that I am not missing something here.

Any help is appreciated. Thanks!

It’s a good idea to put some sort of rental agreement in place. But it’s not iron proof and doesn’t offer full protection. Also don’t let your partner pay any money towards upgrades on the property. I wouldn’t be putting bills in partner’s name. Maybe have them pay for the weekly shop etc instead.

But there is also the potential upon a split that they could claim equity in the property. And if down the line you get married, all bets are off then. Maybe chat to your solicitor who acted for you in buying the house - they may have a rental agreement to use

But this is all if your partner agrees to signing. It would be best to have an upfront talk about This and your plans for the future.

YellowLead

dev_ire wrote: »

Do people here think you deserve a slice of a house you paid rent in if you are not "dependent"? Obviously taking care of someone at home looking after the kids etc is different but I mean if you both have a job and one person took on all the risk in the house and you just paid to live there do you think you deserve a share if you break up?

You don’t collect ‘rent’ from your partner. If you do, well then they are just a tennant you are shagging! If you don’t want to share equity, don’t take mortgage payments off them and simply have them pay for half of bills etc. Simple.

dev_ire

YellowLead wrote: »

You don’t collect ‘rent’ from your partner. If you do, well then they are just a tennant you are shagging! If you don’t want to share equity, don’t take mortgage payments off them and simply have them pay for half of bills etc. Simple.

It depends, if you have been living together for years and one pays all the deposit and has all the risk/issues it is mad for your partner to live there for free. Calling it "rent" makes it sound stingy when "living for half of bills" is equally stingy. I would never look for a share of my partners house if I lived there and paid half or a portion of it.

InterestedK

My head hurts!! :D

appledrop

I have to say if my now husband handed me a rent book when I moved in with him after 2 years of dating I would have run a mile!

Now I did pay half of mortgage etc but thats because we had agreed on where we were going + what our future looked like.

Moving in with someone is a big deal for me.

Each to their own but not for me I wasn't his lodger!

Soilse

Really interesting discussion I don't know a lot about this area but if your thinking along these lines I'd also have a discussion on personnel money management as its where many relationships breakdown. Really wish the law was clearer on this tho.

InterestedK

InterestedK wrote: »

My head hurts!! :D

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/rights_of_unmarried_couples.html

99nsr125

InterestedK wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm looking for some advice.

I'm thinking about asking my partner to move into the house that I own (took out a mortgage last year), but I want to make sure that I do it in the right way, so that should something happen between us, that he is not entitled to any piece of the property and contents etc.

I have heard that the best way to do this is to simply set up a rent book and keep track each month of the rent that he will pay me, plus bills, so technically he is a lodger, but I just want to be sure that I am not missing something here.

Any help is appreciated. Thanks!

True love there eh

1874

YellowLead wrote: »

It is I’m amazed there are people who think it’s cool to ask your partner to pay half your mortgage for you and then to send them on their merry way without compensation. Yet there are others who think it’s mad somebody would expect some equity in a house they are paying into a mortgage on. It’s a good debate!

But if they cant afford to buy themselves and have to rent, they will likely pay more,can they ask for that back? no,
so you dont think they should contribute something for their accomodation? strange. Even worse, that they should be entitled to claw some, all, or more of it back if the relationship ends, stranger still.
I'll be interested to see how this works for the general population when its guys claiming, or if there are children involved.

99nsr125

99nsr125 wrote: »

True love there eh

She's dead right to be thinking along these lines.


Anyone who went to the effort of purchasing something that cost them a quarter of a million euro would be dense to not look properly into a situation where their potential partner could live cheaply for a few years, and then start riding the girl next door, and force the sale of the OPs house because he wants 'his share'.

YellowLead

[Deleted User] wrote: »

She's dead right to be thinking along these lines.


Anyone who went to the effort of purchasing something that cost them a quarter of a million euro would be dense to not look properly into a situation where their potential partner could live cheaply for a few years, and then start riding the girl next door, and force the sale of the OPs house because he wants 'his share'.

Exactly she is right. Just don’t ask him to help pay the mortgage and there’s no worries. If she can’t afford to then what is she doing having one in the first place. She then gets to own her own house fully. If he is pausing his own chance to get his own place he should be able to continue to save for his own place so if she kicks him out 5/10 years down the line it’s not years of paying somebody else’s mortgage down the drain and having to start from scratch again. If somebody asked me to move in with them but looked for rent I’d tell them where to go, I’m not paying somebody else’s mortgage thank you very much I’ll pay for my own. If it looks like a forever situation and we have the chat and they agree to compensate me if things go south, then I’d do it. But I’d consider it ‘our’ home not his. And I would not look for ‘half’ should things go south, just an amount proportionate to my contribution for however long I’ve been paying off the mortgage.

mickuhaha

If she doesn't ask for contributions to the mortgage and at some point during the 5 years of living together in the house (say no kid's) , he ended up on a low wage. If at this point the relationship ended he could try for maintenance. There is no way to protect the OP fully once the five years are up.

The OP could rent out 3 of her 4 bedrooms keep the last one and live part time in her house and part time renting with the partner. This would protect her from cohabitation.

YellowLead

mickuhaha wrote: »

If she doesn't ask for contributions to the mortgage and at some point during the 5 years of living together in the house (say no kid's) , he ended up on a low wage. If at this point the relationship ended he could try for maintenance. There is no way to protect the OP fully once the five years are up.

The OP could rent out 3 of her 4 bedrooms keep the last one and live part time in her house and part time renting with the partner. This would protect her from cohabitation.

This is a good point. However the courts won’t just look at his current job, they will look at his capacity to earn in order to ascertain dependency. If he has consistently had a great career with high salaries and suddenly this changes it will be seen as a temporary change, unless there is some incapacity that’s just developed.
OP needs to weigh all of this up and see how she would cope worst case scenario, and not to take this step lightly. If she takes no mortgage payment from him and he has a steady career, proceed but keep an eye on things as the years progress.

YellowLead

YellowLead wrote: »

If he is pausing his own chance to get his own place

But how is he? If he's renting elsewhere, he's in the same boat, anyway. Assuming OP charges less than rent in the area, he's doing better out of it.

YellowLead

[Deleted User] wrote: »

But how is he? If he's renting elsewhere, he's in the same boat, anyway. Assuming OP charges less than rent in the area, he's doing better out of it.

There are indeed a lot of unknowns. We don’t know what OP is planning to charge her boyfriend to live under her roof. But if it’s not much, he won’t be able to claim much back if he felt like it after a split either. If it was me in the bf’s position I’d be like thank you for letting me live in your home, I’ll pay my way with bills - let’s see how things work out before we get financially tangled. Oh you want me to pay off half of your mortgage....well then it’s OUR house.

JimmyVik

I moved into the other halfs house. 6 years.
Had a child
Split up.
Im paying the mortgage on the house and not living in it.
Dont want the child to be homeless. And I can afford it, so its an easy arrangement.

dev_ire

Some of these posts should go in the "right to housing" thread, missed a trick here why save for a deposit and all that when you can shack up with someone and get offended if they ask you to pay for anything more than bills or some food heh.

I get why the law is there, it makes sense but some peoples responses here are not around kids or being dependent it is around "why pay half of someone elses mortgage" when the right why to look at it is "why should I live for free"

YellowLead

dev_ire wrote: »

Some of these posts should go in the "right to housing" thread, missed a trick here why save for a deposit and all that when you can shack up with someone and get offended if they ask you to pay for anything more than bills or some food heh.

I get why the law is there, it makes sense but some peoples responses here are not around kids or being dependent it is around "why pay half of someone elses mortgage" when the right why to look at it is "why should I live for free"

If it was me and I wanted to be independent and own my own house I would not feel right asking for contributions to my mortgage from my partner who I had invited to live with me. I would expect the other person to save accordingly and then if we did take the step towards marriage/forever I’d expect us to share everything. I couldn’t have somebody help pay for my house like that in good conscience.

dev_ire

YellowLead wrote: »

If it was me and I wanted to be independent and own my own house I would not feel right asking for contributions to my mortgage from my partner who I had invited to live with me. I would expect the other person to save accordingly and then if we did take the step towards marriage/forever I’d expect us to share everything. I couldn’t have somebody help pay for my house like that in good conscience.

But you could live just paying bills ie essentially for free in good conscience?