Advice

corner of hells

On the Beach wrote: »

As soon as I read the op I knew the thread would evolve into, well you were obviously expecting something in return when you gifted the money. So predictable. Le yawn.

Le thanks.

corner of hells

Graces7 wrote: »

Wondering? How did she get home? were you asking/expecting that the neighbour stayed until the appointment was over? ( which can take a while at the best of times) then drive her home?

15 minute consultation, consultant wanted to see her walk, posture and mobility, few questions about pain, it's a precursor to surgery.

corner of hells

Rubberchikken wrote: »

I wouldn't bring the money donation into the equation, kind as it was, and ask would this person normally help at a moment's notice or are they someone who would him and have if asked a favour?

It's tough that you were stuck Op for a spin for your wife, sometimes people just aren't dependable or helpful.

We never asked that person to do anything before .

I wouldn't know a lot about, my wife would've have been very close to her in her teens , early twenties, I know there was a bit going on in her life before I met my wife.

Graces7

GarIT wrote: »

I'm not so sure. It's against the current restrictions to do what the OP is asking. Some people still care about getting the number of covid cases down, or just want to protect themselves. No is still an appropriate response even from a close friend.

And from the post when I asked about the exact nature of the request it seems to have meant waiting what could be an indefinite time and then bringing her back?

So entirely appropriate between friends at such short notice.

Graces7

Graces7 wrote: »

And from the post when I asked about the exact nature of the request it seems to have meant waiting what could be an indefinite time and then bringing her back?

So entirely appropriate between friends at such short notice.

A 15 minute consultation I believe.

cj maxx

I wouldn’t go out of my way to fall out with them . I’d just let the friendship drop. No buddy calls or chitchat

weldoninhio

Send them a christmas card with the message "I hope your next shite is a hedgehog", then never speak to them again.

corner of hells

weldoninhio wrote: »

Send them a christmas card with the message "I hope your next shite is a hedgehog", then never speak to them again.

I was thinking that but maybe along the size of a basketball.

weldoninhio

corner of hells wrote: »

I was thinking that but maybe along the size of a basketball.

A curled up porcupine is about the size of a basketball.

corner of hells

weldoninhio wrote: »

A curled up porcupine is about the size of a basketball.

Sir , I tip my hat to you with your excellent advice and knowledge.

9db3xj7z41fs5u

corner of hells wrote: »

I was thinking that but maybe along the size of a basketball.

You have made several references to violence. I am not sure if you are being facetious. People are genuinely terrified of Covid-19. On the grand scheme of things, you seem to be getting very hung up on something rather small. Let it go! You have told us nothing about the other person’s health status, or their circumstances. As I mentioned in a previous post, they have to prioritise the health of their nearest and dearest. Do not tarnish them for one small slight.

On the Beach

Jesus man, he was joking about the violence clearly.

dxhound2005

On the Beach wrote: »

Jesus man, he was joking about the violence clearly.

Also about giving away 8 grand.

Spore

Baptise their children into a denomination not of their choosing. That will learn them.

corner of hells

Tomas Slow Doughnut wrote: »

You have made several references to violence. I am not sure if you are being facetious. People are genuinely terrified of Covid-19. On the grand scheme of things, you seem to be getting very hung up on something rather small. Let it go! You have told us nothing about the other person’s health status, or their circumstances. As I mentioned in a previous post, they have to prioritise the health of their nearest and dearest. Do not tarnish them for one small slight.

I really am joking about violence.

corner of hells

dxhound2005 wrote: »

Also about giving away 8 grand.

It was slightly more than 8 , I gave two individuals gifts.

ILoveYourVibes

My advice to you is this.


You don't have to give 8 grand to people to be a good friend.

In fact I would expect a true friend to gift a lift under these circumstances to your wife.

And i wouldn't give that friend 8 grand either ...

If i could give a lift even to a neighbor i didn't know well ...i mean i would ...

And i wouldn't need 8 grand to do so.

corner of hells

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

My advice to you is this.


You don't have to give 8 grand to people to be a good friend.

In fact I would expect a true friend to gift a lift under these circumstances to your wife.

And i wouldn't give that friend 8 grand either ...

If i could give a lift even to a neighbor i didn't know well ...i mean i would ...

And i wouldn't need 8 grand to do so.

Thanks for the reply.

I didn't give 8 grand to a single individual, I gave various amounts to different individuals.

Through a house sale, I was left with a lump sum , I have no close family so rather than spend it all or just stick it in the bank I gave some of it away to a small group of people who were good to me and or my wife going back through the years.

To give you an example, when my wife had her first surgery a neighbour made sure my kids got to school and home as well as being fed for about three weeks.The woman is in her seventies now and widowed so myself and my wife gave her a gift as a token of gratitude.

It had nothing to do with being a friend, it was what she did for us.

zanador

I think the money and the lift are two separate issues.

You decided to give the money and that was with an open heart and no strings.

For whatever reason she couldn't help you out. In these times I think everyone has to decide for themselves what they can and cannot do to help others.

If she's your wife's friend and your wife wants to maintain that friendship then asking her if she's ok, or did you put her under pressure because of covid could be a good thing to do? You will tell a lot from her response, maybe she's struggling, maybe she's selfish, and from there you can decide what to do. You don't have to support her either if she's struggling, and if she's selfish be proud you gave a gift with an open heart and gently let her go from your life.

ILoveYourVibes

corner of hells wrote: »

Thanks for the reply.

I didn't give 8 grand to a single individual, I gave various amounts to different individuals.

Through a house sale, I was left with a lump sum , I have no close family so rather than spend it all or just stick it in the bank I gave some of it away to a small group of people who were good to me and or my wife going back through the years.

To give you an example, when my wife had her first surgery a neighbour made sure my kids got to school and home as well as being fed for about three weeks.The woman is in her seventies now and widowed so myself and my wife gave her a gift as a token of gratitude.

It had nothing to do with being a friend, it was what she did for us.

I am confused you said orig no one would give you a lift??

Or this ONE person you were talking about?? That is the person i am talking about

corner of hells

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I am confused you said orig no one would give you a lift??

My wife has had series of surgeries over the years , the most recent appointment is a precursor for another surgery.

corner of hells

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I am confused you said orig no one would give you a lift??

Or this ONE person you were talking about?? That is the person i am talking about

No , your fine .