I’ve just returned from Portlaoise.

Cody montana

I’m scarred.
First time ever.
Never again.

Please share my review.

KiKi III

Cool story.

KaneToad

Cody montana wrote: »

I’m scarred.
First time ever.
Never again.

You're lucky it wasn't Portarlington...

Poor Uncle Tom

Hope you're going to self isolate for 14 years now

Have they phone reception there nowadays??

I used be there abit,in my youth and its my abiding memory of it,having no phone reception in a town

Cody montana

KiKi III wrote: »

Cool story.

First shop(I was the only one in the shop)

Me: Hi, I’m just having a look around.
Man in shop: Ignores me and goes into back.
Me after a few minutes: Erm.
Me: Leaves.

Cody montana

KaneToad wrote: »

You're lucky it wasn't Portarlington...

Bad?

byhookorbycrook

KaneToad wrote: »

You're lucky it wasn't Portarlington...

Lived in Portarlington for about 6 months . When I say “ lived ,” I mean kept my stuff there . Clocked up at least 30 thousand Km getting out of it . Went to places like Monaghan, Donegal, Kerry and Cork and still got back to work the next day .

PTH2009

Meet anyone famous inside?

Lots of IRA lads take residence

One eyed Jack

I’m still trying to figure out what has the OP scarred? :pac:

5uspect

Cody montana wrote: »

First shop(I was the only one in the shop)

Me: Hi, I’m just having a look around.
Man in shop: Ignores me and goes into back.
Me after a few minutes: Erm.
Me: Leaves.

So you told him that you weren’t there to buy anything, just look around? The cheek of him leaving you alone.

byhookorbycrook

Cody montana wrote: »

Bad?

In the early 90s , people really did stare at me and intone “ yer not from round here now are ye?” And my one mode of transport, a high Nellie type bike was stolen within a week there . Hence I bought my 1st ever car -literally with my last few pounds .

Cody montana

Second shop.

Me: *Opens door*
Woman in store with customers: We’ve closed.
Me: Oh!
Woman: *Closes door in my face and locks door*

Cody montana

I drove 360 around a small roundabout as I was lost and the car behind me drove straight through the roundabout.
He nearly crashed into me.

Cody montana

I’m from Cork and not used to this carry on.

andekwarhola

Welcome back.

What were you banged up for?

un5byh7sqpd2x0

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I’m still trying to figure out what has the OP scarred? :pac:

A cat scratched him no doubt...

Cody montana

And the roads are confusing.

One hour of dread I’ll never get back.

Bagels4me

Can you give us more details?

I'm considering a holiday there, staycation and that

gogo

Cody montana wrote: »

And the roads are confusing.

One hour of dread I’ll never get back.

I sat my driving test in it.. went through approx 11 roundabouts, law of averages is that you’ll I fcuk up one, hardship....

Cody montana

Bagels4me wrote: »

Can you give us more details?

I'm considering a holiday there, staycation and that

It’s up the country.

Cody montana

I’m not a sensitive soul.

I’ve stayed in the tenderloin in San Fran and Kings Cross in Sydney, got mugged in London and robbed in Thailand.
I’d go back.

Portlaoise.
Never again.

Montage of Feck

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I’m still trying to figure out what has the OP scarred? :pac:

He dropped the soap in the showers.

Casey78

Portlaoise was grand until all the Dubs starting buying houses there...

Church on Tuesday

Cody montana wrote: »

First shop(I was the only one in the shop)

Me: Hi, I’m just having a look around.
Man in shop: Ignores me and goes into back.
Me after a few minutes: Erm.
Me: Leaves.

Don't blame him.

Cody montana

Montage of Feck wrote: »

He dropped the soap in the showers.

Don’t think they have soap there.

Water John

Free Willy is a different film.

kerryjack

I had a massive day on the beer there about 20 years ago we were heading to some ploughing and we stopped there for the breakfast around 10.30 and there was a few lads at the bar horsing in to a few pints and sure we said we would have 1, woke up in tullamore the following day I have been trying to fill in the blanks eversence

Leg End Reject

So you got dumped in Portlaoise, Cody?

Wanderer2010

Could be worse, could have been Oulart the Balagh...Borris in Ossory, Carrick on Suir, Swinford and a whole host of other "twilight zone" type towns scattered around Ireland where time stands still and the people are...unusual.

tayto lover

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Could be worse, could have been Oulart the Balagh...Borris in Ossory, Carrick on Suir, Swinford and a whole host of other "twilight zone" type towns scattered around Ireland where time stands still and the people are...unusual.

Borris in Ossary sounds like a Russian spy.

Cody montana

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Could be worse, could have been Oulart the Balagh...Borris in Ossory, Carrick on Suir, Swinford and a whole host of other "twilight zone" type towns scattered around Ireland where time stands still and the people are...unusual.

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

JimmyChew

tayto lover wrote: »

Borris in Ossary sounds like a Russian spy.

Borris is Russian, Ossary hopes he'll take his time

KevRossi

Cody montana wrote: »

First shop(I was the only one in the shop)

Me: Hi, I’m just having a look around.
Man in shop: Ignores me and goes into back.
Me after a few minutes: Erm.
Me: Leaves.

So they actually left you alone while you browsed?

Where is this paradise you mentioned?

Sounds like a heaven for introverts like myself and a damn site better than the hard sell merchants in our glorious capital.

Mam of 4

Cody montana wrote: »

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

Whereabouts did you see the sign for Borris In Ossary ?

Cody montana

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Whereabouts did you see the sign for Borris In Ossary ?

Think on the motorway.

Cody montana

KevRossi wrote: »

So they actually left you alone while you browsed?

Where is this paradise you mentioned?

Sounds like a heaven for introverts like myself and a damn site better than the hard sell merchants in our glorious capital.

It was a one room antique store.
Not ikea.

Mam of 4

Cody montana wrote: »

Think on the motorway.

Ah ...
At least you found your way off the roundabout .

Mad_maxx

portlaoise aint such a bad town

Cody montana

Cody montana wrote: »

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

There's a kiosk at the place where the bus stops and a strong-looking woman with a receding hairline will sell you a coffee for either a euro or a kiss.

Haven't stopped there in years. It doesn't look like the kind of place that changes.

Dtp1979

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

There's a kiosk at the place where the bus stops and a strong-looking woman with a receding hairline will sell you a coffee for either a euro or a kiss.

Haven't stopped there in years. It doesn't look like the kind of place that changes.

It’s constantly changing. It’s probably one of the fastest growing towns in Ireland. Not many towns can boast having TWO supermacs and subways

Cody montana

Cody montana wrote: »

I’m from Cork and not used to this carry on.

Cork roads are the worst. Every rule is upside down.

s1ippy

Cody montana wrote: »

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

Just checked it. Apparently nothing to be excited about, the native name comes from the diocese of Osoraí and it's derived from the first king Óengus Osraithe. No cool ossuary!

Cody montana

FillaName wrote: »

Cork roads are the worst. Every rule is upside down.

How so?

Cee-Jay-Cee

KaneToad wrote: »

You're lucky it wasn't Portarlington...

It’s PorT-Tarling-Ton with heavy emphasis on all T’s

flazio

How long was the OPs sentence?

Cody montana

Cody montana wrote: »

I’m scarred.
First time ever.
Never again.

Please share my review.

You should have made it into a thing that you were forced to go there for work reasons. More hits.

1o059k7ewrqj3n

The roundabouts in Portlaoise are actually arranged according to Knights Templar geometry to draw bad energy away from other spots on earth.

The next time you think how awful that terrorist bombing or famine is, remember it would be ten times worse if it weren’t for the sacrifice of Portlaoise.

dd973

The town or the Prison? I'd say both were equally dull. Been through by train umpteen times.

policarp

tayto lover wrote: »

Borris in Ossary sounds like a Russian spy.

Borris in Ossary
O,Bama in Moneygall
Reagan in Ballyporeen
Kennedy in Wexford
What is the issue?

.anon.

There are worse places than Portlaoise.

They say that Naas is a terrible place
and Moate is twice as bad
But of all the towns in all the world
Fuck me, Kinnegad.