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Child Item

I’ve just returned from Portlaoise.

Cody montana

I’m scarred.
First time ever.
Never again.

Please share my review.

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Cody montana

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Could be worse, could have been Oulart the Balagh...Borris in Ossory, Carrick on Suir, Swinford and a whole host of other "twilight zone" type towns scattered around Ireland where time stands still and the people are...unusual.

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

JimmyChew

tayto lover wrote: »

Borris in Ossary sounds like a Russian spy.

Borris is Russian, Ossary hopes he'll take his time

KevRossi

Cody montana wrote: »

First shop(I was the only one in the shop)

Me: Hi, I’m just having a look around.
Man in shop: Ignores me and goes into back.
Me after a few minutes: Erm.
Me: Leaves.

So they actually left you alone while you browsed?

Where is this paradise you mentioned?

Sounds like a heaven for introverts like myself and a damn site better than the hard sell merchants in our glorious capital.

Mam of 4

Cody montana wrote: »

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

Whereabouts did you see the sign for Borris In Ossary ?

Cody montana

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Whereabouts did you see the sign for Borris In Ossary ?

Think on the motorway.

Cody montana

KevRossi wrote: »

So they actually left you alone while you browsed?

Where is this paradise you mentioned?

Sounds like a heaven for introverts like myself and a damn site better than the hard sell merchants in our glorious capital.

It was a one room antique store.
Not ikea.

Mam of 4

Cody montana wrote: »

Think on the motorway.

Ah ...
At least you found your way off the roundabout .

Mad_maxx

portlaoise aint such a bad town

[Deleted User]

Cody montana wrote: »

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

There's a kiosk at the place where the bus stops and a strong-looking woman with a receding hairline will sell you a coffee for either a euro or a kiss.

Haven't stopped there in years. It doesn't look like the kind of place that changes.

Dtp1979

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

There's a kiosk at the place where the bus stops and a strong-looking woman with a receding hairline will sell you a coffee for either a euro or a kiss.

Haven't stopped there in years. It doesn't look like the kind of place that changes.

It’s constantly changing. It’s probably one of the fastest growing towns in Ireland. Not many towns can boast having TWO supermacs and subways

[Deleted User]

Cody montana wrote: »

I’m from Cork and not used to this carry on.

Cork roads are the worst. Every rule is upside down.

s1ippy

Cody montana wrote: »

Saw a sign for Borris in Ossory alright.
Wonderful name.
Must be something to see there?

Just checked it. Apparently nothing to be excited about, the native name comes from the diocese of Osoraí and it's derived from the first king Óengus Osraithe. No cool ossuary!

Cody montana

FillaName wrote: »

Cork roads are the worst. Every rule is upside down.

How so?

Cee-Jay-Cee

KaneToad wrote: »

You're lucky it wasn't Portarlington...

It’s PorT-Tarling-Ton with heavy emphasis on all T’s

flazio

How long was the OPs sentence?

[Deleted User]

Cody montana wrote: »

I’m scarred.
First time ever.
Never again.

Please share my review.

You should have made it into a thing that you were forced to go there for work reasons. More hits.

1o059k7ewrqj3n

The roundabouts in Portlaoise are actually arranged according to Knights Templar geometry to draw bad energy away from other spots on earth.

The next time you think how awful that terrorist bombing or famine is, remember it would be ten times worse if it weren’t for the sacrifice of Portlaoise.

dd973

The town or the Prison? I'd say both were equally dull. Been through by train umpteen times.

policarp

tayto lover wrote: »

Borris in Ossary sounds like a Russian spy.

Borris in Ossary
O,Bama in Moneygall
Reagan in Ballyporeen
Kennedy in Wexford
What is the issue?

.anon.

There are worse places than Portlaoise.

They say that Naas is a terrible place
and Moate is twice as bad
But of all the towns in all the world
Fuck me, Kinnegad.

JupiterKid

I don’t think I’ve actually been in Portlaoise since the place was bypassed by the M7 motorway in 1997.

I hear the townsfolk since that time have mutated into the cast of The Hills Have Eyes... :pac:

[Deleted User]

Don’t talk of your hunting in Yucatan,
Or your fishing off St. Helena;
I’d rather see young fellows hunting the ‘wren’
In the hedges of Tobberaheena.
No doubt the scenes of a Swiss Canton
Have a passable sort of charm
Give me a sunset on Slievnamon
From the head at Hackett’s Farm.

And I’d rather be strolling along the quay,
And watching the river flow,
Than growing tea with the cute Chinee,
Or mining in Mexico.
And I wouldn’t much care for Sierra Leone,
If I hadn’t seen Killenaule,
And the man that was never in Mullinahone
Shouldn’t say he had travelled at all

JupiterKid

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Don’t talk of your hunting in Yucatan,
Or your fishing off St. Helena;
I’d rather see young fellows hunting the ‘wren’
In the hedges of Tobberaheena.
No doubt the scenes of a Swiss Canton
Have a passable sort of charm
Give me a sunset on Slievnamon
From the head at Hackett’s Farm.

And I’d rather be strolling along the quay,
And watching the river flow,
Than growing tea with the cute Chinee,
Or mining in Mexico.
And I wouldn’t much care for Sierra Leone,
If I hadn’t seen Killenaule,
And the man that was never in Mullinahone
Shouldn’t say he had travelled at all

Who wrote that little ode to County Tipp, ATNM?

[Deleted User]

JupiterKid wrote: »

Who wrote that little ode to County Tipp, ATNM?

It's an old poem and the identity of the author is cloaked in obscurity, but most likely Shakespeare

Doctors room ghost

Dtp1979 wrote: »

It’s constantly changing. It’s probably one of the fastest growing towns in Ireland. Not many towns can boast having TWO supermacs and subways

Ballinasloe has 5 supermacs in it.
5 of the fcukers.

Sac O Spuds

I used to go there on training courses back in the 90s. Remember staying in one particular guest house where you'd get beef burgers for breakfast.
Went to a night club in the basement of the Killeshian Hotel. Like something out of The Twilight Zone. Put up your hand and you could almost touch the ceiling. The place was devoid of females under 40. They all left for college or work in Dublin and were only seen on weekends. Feck all good if you were out on a Thursday night.

Eduard Khil

I'm just visiting (insert prison) I get to sleep at home tonight.

Casey78

A Dub asked me once was Laois anywhere near Portlaoise, though they were also convinced Clonmel was just outside Naas.

Trigger Happy

Portlaoise is proof that evolution works both ways,