Do you keep a weapon by your bed?

Bob Gray

One of the kids got one of those giant Chupa Chups a while back.
"Your honour, I put it to you that the accused was attacked and subdued with a lollipop".
To be fair, you could probably cave someones skull in with one of these things.

Pinoy adventure

A big 10inch dildo

ebbsy

Hammer.

And yes I will use it.

unhappys10

KungPao wrote: »

In the nip is the way to go, they’ll think you’re bananas like Patrick Bateman and leg it.

There’s an idea, I might start keeping a chainsaw under the bed.

Or they might get aroused and do something they hadn't planned on!!

KungPao

Bob Gray wrote: »

One of the kids got one of those giant Chupa Chups a while back.
"Your honour, I put it to you that the accused was attacked and subdued with a lollipop".
To be fair, you could probably cave someones skull in with one of these things.

You could wallop them to death and eat the weapon, a bit like that Tales from the Unexpected episode, Lamb to the slaughter.

First they have to get into your home.

I notice, through watching American TV shows/movies that in Ghettoes mainly but not exclusively there is often a metal locked gate directly in front of the door; or the actual door is metal.

Be hard to break that down, oftentimes bars on the windows too.

Granted, a lot of people wouldn't like to live in such an environment; but, in this Country would they have the option, or is it proscribed?

PerryB78

Kamu wrote: »

The guitar specifically, while not the most balanced or standard shape, would do a fair amount of damage.

Sure would, just ask the honky tonk man

Kylta

I always maintain that if somebody breaks into my place when im there. Im going to have great sex buggering them. Its only fair tresspassers should be fu¢ked am I mean fu¢ked. Then its either down the stairs or over the balcony being a gentleman I'd give him the ¢unt a choice.

KungPao

[Deleted User] wrote: »

First they have to get into your home.

I notice, through watching American TV shows/movies that in Ghettoes mainly but not exclusively there is often a metal locked gate directly in front of the door; or the actual door is metal.

Be hard to break that down, oftentimes bars on the windows too.

Granted, a lot of people wouldn't like to live in such an environment; but, in this Country would they have the option, or is it proscribed?

It’s so easy for burglar scum here. I wish I could put bars in windows etc, but Mr Fireman or a Building regs pen pusher wouldn’t like it.

Auguste Comte

king_of_mayo wrote: »

Home security is a big topic. I wonder how many people have something by their bed in case they hear a noise in the night? If not, what's your plan?

I have a hurl by the bed. But the wife makes me clean it after pucking around, and even then it has to rest on a few sheets of kitchen paper. A friend of mine keeps a screwdriver in his bedside locker. I think my brother has half a snooker que as his. I don't know of any women which have something ready, which is concerning.

I have a tennis ball.


It's not really for self defense, it's to distract the dogs when the Guards/corner turn up in the event that someone is stupid enough to break in.

Rodin

German Shepherd in back hall and front hall.

I'm happy with that level of protection

Kylta

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I am the weapon.

Am confused should your over protective boobs be the weapon?

Dravokivich

Deleted User wrote: »

I've often wondered about the efficacy of baseball bats in an intruder situation. How much time would you have to reach for it if surprised, or indeed how much room would you have to swing it if already in hand? Bedrooms/any rooms really in a house aren't exactly wide open spaces.

Or would they even know how too. Or what if, the person breaking into your house, is more likely to be skilled in fighting than you?

There's only 1 guy on the forum that comes to mind, that the odds are their favour.

Strumms

dubbrin wrote: »

A swift up down choppy action will see you through a lot of tight spots. The romantic home run swing at high level just as they turn around is probably way off the mark.

Saying that, this is all assuming you're up and aware that something is happening and have the time to react as you say. The majority of situations probably don't present much opportunity. I've been lucky, don't know or hope not to find out

It’s unlikely a burglar will want to stop and engage. There are reasonably heavy sentences available for a judge to hand down, I think in the case of ‘aggravated’ , should the stupid clown want to.

screamer

Have a nice heavy curtain pole, made of metal with quick release to take it down. It has nice heavy pieces at either end, so they’ll never make it up the stairs. I keep scissors in my bathroom cabinet also., and I’ve got a few pairs of killer heels too. If they’re very unlucky they might even get a belt of the hammer I keep in my room to break the windows in case of an emergency.

Feisar

Kylta wrote: »

I always maintain that if somebody breaks into my place when im there. Im going to have great sex buggering them. Its only fair tresspassers should be fu¢ked am I mean fu¢ked. Then its either down the stairs or over the balcony being a gentleman I'd give him the ¢unt a choice.

Wibbs

Maybe a Neandertal spear as an ornament...



Horrifically lethal yoke developed over many thousands of years. Leaves damage comparable to a large bore bullet. Have been tempted to make one up from an original point of which I have a few, but maybe not. Though they're still sharp and would be just as deadly 50,000 + years later. The coroners report and newspaper headlines would be interesting.

ShatterAlan

Deleted User wrote: »

Anyone got any ideas on what one could use; say an object that could reasonably expected to be in one's bedroom that would satisfy for the purpose of defending oneself. It would have to be effective and not considered a weapon lest one gets fvcked on a 'voluntary manslaughter' rap.

Well my girlfriend's assortment of rather formidable looking dildos could easily double up as a lethal arsenal of truncheons.

Nekarsulm

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Yeah, well I reckon if I went into Rathmines Garda Station and said I wanted to keep a shotgun for sporting reasons, I'd be getting a bit more of a grilling than if I went in Nenagh, where it's a normal thing to do.

It's possible, of course, to hold a gun licence in Dublin. But it's just not worth it. If someone ever broke into my house, I'd just show them my bank balance, they would probably feel sorry for me.

If you had good reason, and appropriate storage for it, shouldn't be a problem.*
You'd be surprised the number of people have legally held shotguns and rifles in the city, at the end of 2015 the figure was about 12,800, or 1% of the population of the capital.

Mind you, if I had time to realise someone was breaking in, I'd go for the rounders bat not the shotgun.
Gardai would just confiscate it and any others you owned.

*as long as you haven't a history of fighting, drunkenness, drug abuse or criminal activity.

jimgoose

Nekarsulm wrote: »

If you had good reason, and appropriate storage for it, shouldn't be a problem.
You'd be surprised the number of people have legally held shotguns and rifles in the city, at the end of 2015 the figure was about 12,800, or 1% of the population of the capital.

Plenty legal firearms around here, including 9mm Sig Sauer pistols and .243 Winchester for the deer below around Kilgarvan.

kowloon

cj maxx wrote: »

Yep an over and under double barrel shotgun. Kept loaded in the gun cabinet beside the bed

Yeah, don't do that. Mine are locked away and disassembled. If anyone wants to be shot with them they'll have to wait 15 mins.

ShatterAlan

ShatterAlan wrote: »

Well my girlfriend's assortment of rather formidable looking dildos could easily double up as a lethal arsenal of truncheons.

:pac:

Something like a baton, but designed to look as a dildo perhaps?

Could be dual purpose too, to account for any possible negative ramifications when used for 'pain' as opposed to pleasure purposes.

I can definitely see a "niche" for such an object

kowloon

Deleted User wrote: »

:pac:

Something like a baton, but designed to look as a dildo perhaps?

Could be dual purpose too, to account for any possible negative ramifications when used for 'pain' as opposed to pleasure purposes.

I can definitely see a "niche" for such an object

Before you know it some burglar is threatening legal action for an STI they've got during a beating.

ShatterAlan

cj maxx wrote: »

Yep an over and under double barrel shotgun. Kept loaded in the gun cabinet beside the bed

Can't be loaded or ammo even in the same cabinet.

I Am Nobody

I have two Rotties behind door number 1.If they make it past that,they will definitely not like what is behind door number 2.

kowloon

kowloon wrote: »

Before you know it some burglar is threatening legal action for an STI they've got during a beating.

:pac: :pac: :pac:

A good dual purpose post there.

Equally funny as fuq , yet also fkd up because such a scenario is a long way from implausible sadly :mad:

quokula

Is this a thread to show your hard man credentials or are that many people really that paranoid?

I've a lock on my door and I can call the gardai if needed. In 36 years I've never needed to. I'd imagine the stress of thinking you always need a weapon at hand would take more years off your life than the vanishingly unlikely attempt that somebody decides to break into your house and attack you for no reason.

If they're just breaking in to steal stuff (which has also never happened), then like I said, I've a lock on my door, I've got insurance, and I can call the gardai afterwards.

ShatterAlan

kowloon wrote: »

Before you know it some burglar is threatening legal action for an STI they've got during a beating.

Put a condom on the dildo before you bludgeon the bastard. Problem solved.

Kylta

Feisar wrote: »

So the would be victim gets his just desserts

I Am Nobody

quokula wrote: »

Is this a thread to show your hard man credentials or are that many people really that paranoid?

I've a lock on my door and I can call the gardai if needed. In 36 years I've never needed to. I'd imagine the stress of thinking you always need a weapon at hand would take more years off your life than the vanishingly unlikely attempt that somebody decides to break into your house and attack you for no reason.

If they're just breaking in to steal stuff (which has also never happened), then like I said, I've a lock on my door, I've got insurance, and I can call the gardai afterwards.

Not really paranoid but I do have alot of responsibility to protect the property I'm entrusted too.I normally have in my care other peoples bikes that I work on.Aside from that there is my own safety.My homeowners insurance wouldn't cover even half of what I have at my place.