Guest at Weddings

dotsman

dotsman wrote: »

Speak for yourself buddy - I fcukin love weddings! One day events are always too short. Minimum 2 day events, ideally 3 or even 4 nights when there is a good number of fun people you know. The 3 weddings that stand out most in my memory were all 4-nighters.

I've thoroughly enjoyed every wedding I've been to.
.

At last the voice of reason, don’t get all the people posting here who hate weddings it’s certainly not very representative of people I would know where weddings are always very much looked forward to and thoroughly enjoyed.

Like what would anyone not like the opportunity to go on the beer for 2 or 3 days solid with friends and family?

AndrewJRenko

krissovo wrote: »

The packaged cookie cutter weddings that have evolved the last 20 years are truly soulless affairs now. Any wedding at a chain hotel for example like Radison where I been a guest at both Dublin and Cork is not great value IMHO.

I have been to some cracking places though and they were good for not taking the standard package and making it unique. Barnabrow house in Cork for example is a amazing location for a wedding and have non standard packages. Ballyvolane was also a special event as the guests effectively take over the house with spit roasts and glamping. Costs per head maybe more expensive but overall prices are similar to the "big" weddings for much more special day.

Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned but in my day, you waited at least a couple of years before you got involved in the swinging scene and all that stuff.

Brendan Bendar

Podge201 wrote: »

Everyone and I mean every one is sick of the three day road show of weddings.

Absolutely...just knob some auld bewer and piss off home, after the first night.

Only solution in my opinion.

Huntergonzo

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Absolutely...just knob some auld bewer and piss off home, after the first night.

Only solution in my opinion.

I've only ever done the wedding day myself, been invited to the occasional 2nd day binge but never actually went.

As for 3 days, that's beyond taking the píss!

Huntergonzo

Huntergonzo wrote: »

I've only ever done the wedding day myself, been invited to the occasional 2nd day binge but never actually went.

As for 3 days, that's beyond taking the píss!

You are missing out massively. It was rare as the vast majority of weddings I e been to have been 2 or 3 days but the odd single day one I was always disappointed it didn’t have the second night only feels like half a wedding.

I had 3 nights at my own and was one hell of a weekend, good session the night before, the day itself and the full day after it from noon until 5am.

Brendan Bendar

Huntergonzo wrote: »

I've only ever done the wedding day myself, been invited to the occasional 2nd day binge but never actually went.

As for 3 days, that's beyond taking the píss!

Correct, good sense, give some tipsy bewer a right good knobbing on night one. Cannons deep.

Then gonzo early next day- don’t want to see anyone you know.

Everyone happy, m’kay.

Purple Mountain

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Correct, good sense, give some tipsy bewer a right good knobbing on night one. Cannons deep.

Then gonzo early next day- don’t want to see anyone you know.

Everyone happy, m’kay.

You sound delightful. Can I have your number?

eviltwin

A lot will depend on where you are in life. Full weekend weddings might be fun if you are able to spare the time and have the money to fund it. When you have kids, work to consider etc you can find better ways to spend your money and time.

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

A lot will depend on where you are in life. Full weekend weddings might be fun if you are able to spare the time and have the money to fund it. When you have kids, work to consider etc you can find better ways to spend your money and time.

That wouldn’t be my experience at all. The wedding surge in mine and my wife’s groups of friends was late 20’s to mid 30’s so all would be well into careers and plenty had kids especially the last few weddings and if anything the people with kids were the most delighted to have a solid excuse to leave the kids at home and go on the beer for the weekend.

Huntergonzo

Nora Rapping Variation wrote: »

You are missing out massively. It was rare as the vast majority of weddings I e been to have been 2 or 3 days but the odd single day one I was always disappointed it didn’t have the second night only feels like half a wedding.

I had 3 nights at my own and was one hell of a weekend, good session the night before, the day itself and the full day after it from noon until 5am.

Well sure look each to their own, people are welcome to their 2-3 day weddings if they wish, but they're not for me.

To be fair though I have no bother going on a 2-3 day piss up at a race meeting though, priorities priorities :-)

eviltwin

Nora Rapping Variation wrote: »

That wouldn’t be my experience at all. The wedding surge in mine and my wife’s groups of friends was late 20’s to mid 30’s so all would be well into careers and plenty had kids especially the last few weddings and if anything the people with kids were the most delighted to have a solid excuse to leave the kids at home and go on the beer for the weekend.

I can't thínk of anything worse than getting pissed for a weekend then coming home to a home and children. Not to mention having to take time off work, arranging a childminder, the waste of money...

I love my social life, I love meeting up with friends but I don't need to go on a three day session made up of mostly strangers to do it.

JustAThought

I’ve gone to some fantastic weddings as the +1 where I knew nobody but still had an amazing night.

I’ve turned down some where it was a gesture invite & some where it was a good friend but too far, too expensive or too problematic to go to.

I’ve gone both reluctantly and enthuiastically to ‘have to go to’ close family weddings where the journey and cost was a bit of a liberty and cost imposition but really enjoyed myself and just took some time on the day or following day to make a tourist trip out of part of it or do something outside of the formula that I enjoyed and get away from the 24/7 frenzy.

I would say that people have long memories about weddings and harbor grudges on who went, who stayed or didn’t, who broke the rules and brought their screaming toddlers when they told adults only etc. They are expensive, emotional affairs with long and sometimes great but also sometimes bitter aftertastes.

On occasional quiet nights out things sometimes still flare up 10 or 15 years later - she/they never came even thou we went out of our way to invite the/ they gave us a pictureframe from Dunnes for our wedding/ she made
me change my colour theme vecause green didn’t suit her and then stole my colour for her wedding etc

I’d ve doing what many do and if I go say yes, fantastic, amazing day. It was the day of their plans and dreams and one the worried and budgeted for for years and wanted you to go and be part of. Why knock them for their dreams? Enjoy and reminisce with them - and whatever price they spent you can be sure it was hard earned by someone and probably regretted now - why spoil their peace and memory.

Spanish Eyes

Weddings for the most part are a painful expensive chore for many people.

Same ole, same ole, last month's wedding the same as this one. Yawn.

If the Corona V thing cuts all that ****e down it can only be a good thing. Have everyone in your immediate family there who will be happy to be there.

Friends, University, school, next door neighbour pals might not give a fig but there is the money thing isn't there?

I give the same monetary gift to the B+G if I don't attend. Saves a lot of money in the long run for me and everyone is happy.

Faux happiness is not the real deal, many are there out of obligation.

cannotlogin

I enjoy weddings but apart from two where the food was really outstanding and the band were brilliant. I struggle to remember the details of any of the rest.

I never notice any of the things people spend money on flowers, favours, can't remember anyone's wedding dress, colour of bridesmaid etc.

If I ever get married, I want a registry office & blow the budget on the honeymoon. If the man to be insists he wants a big wedding, I'll only care about the meal & music...none of the rest really counts imo.

Spanish Eyes

What exactly do people enjoy about big weddings?

To me it is an obligation and a terror of the summons! I know it's not that but still.

Family and I can deal with that because we all get on great and have the craic.

But any wedding outside the family is a no no for me now. Same pressie given and best of luck.Doubt they care. We worry too much about what people might think about our polite decline. They don't. More room for the reserve list!

L1011

I've never gone to a particularly big wedding, and only one of them has has any second day element (which I wanted to stay for but had to skip). Still one of the core friend group left to get married other than myself but we both had plans for 2021 that have been pushed out due to 2021 getting filled up by postponed 2020s already.

Also thinking about it, every wedding I've been to bar the one with the second day has been no kids; and even it had one quiet baby and a few 15+ nieces/nephews of the groom only. The couples kid/s has been present as an exception sometimes.

Who is still having these huge 300+ people weddings with annoying kids running around the place? So I can avoid befriending them :pac:

freshpopcorn

I was under the impression that the 2nd and 3rd day was generally aimed at people closer to the couple who’d get a chance to catch up,etc.
Even tough everybody would be invited they don’t expect or really want you to stay around.

Spanish Eyes

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I was under the impression that the 2nd and 3rd day was generally aimed at people closer to the couple who’d get a chance to catch up,etc.
Even tough everybody would be invited they don’t expect or really want you to stay around.

As if they couldn't arrange a meet up later. No it is a summons to drink and party with a hangover in tow next day and day after maybe. I was that person in the past, never more. It is far too tedious and so much false jollity.

Just like weddings to be honest. Have to do it and paint on a smile for the B+G, I'd rather be sitting at home. And I have declined when it is not immediate family.

Smaller weddings will happen now thankfully. But in fairness I do realise that will impact on wedding planners and all the rest of it.

Sighs of relief will go around though not to be invited for another clone of a wedding.

Most people hate them, sorry now, but they do.

cj maxx

I've been at 7 or 8 weddings,alI about 8-10 years ago and ive enjoyed maybe 2 of them .
None of them siblings. They were people I was genuinely happy for. The rest were a chore. Especially mine

Purple Mountain

cj maxx wrote: »

I've been at 7 or 8 weddings,alI about 8-10 years ago and ive enjoyed maybe 2 of them .
None of them siblings. They were people I was genuinely happy for. The rest were a chore. Especially mine

You can't say that

Potential-Monke

One of the best weddings I was ever at the maximum point no more than 70 people. There were 35 at the registry. Start meeting up at 3pm, registry at 4pm so time to get into the hotel to get ready and be there without any fluff or not being allowed into the hotel room before 3 as there was still time. Registry was decorated nicely, no one went OTT with their outfits and the bride wore a simple white dress with some shawl thingy. It was over in 29 minutes, and then down the road to their favourite restaurant for everyone to have a proper "whatever you want to order" from a menu meal (instead of the usual 2 or 3 choices which are designed to keep everyone happy but don't).

Meal was about 2 hours in total with just the right amount of time between courses. Free drink too. After that, back to the hotel nearby and they had the penthouse booked and had the party there. Few more turned up. Hotel staff serving free drink from the kitchen until 11, then you just helped yourself. Beautiful, close event where it was actually all about the bride and groom. No hassle. No stress. Completely relaxing. Just the right length of a day.

Spanish Eyes

cj maxx wrote: »

I've been at 7 or 8 weddings,alI about 8-10 years ago and ive enjoyed maybe 2 of them .
None of them siblings. They were people I was genuinely happy for. The rest were a chore. Especially mine

That's gas but so true for many.

Is there any other function that causes so much grief and stress for the B+G and let it be said.... for the invitees also, so unnecessary.

Honestly. Every wedding is the fekkin same, and it gets boring and tedious and false after a while.

I admire those who just elope to Vegas or the registry office and just do it. Good on ya folks.

Purple Mountain

I was at a UK wedding a few years ago.
First off, all the guest's children were there, I mean babies too. Most tables had a little person or 2.
Then the bar was free ALL night.
I was expecting a stampede but any time, I looked up at that area, there was maybe one person there.
The reception was in a (poshish) golf club so there was no option of a residential bar or people staying over for a second day session.
The music stopped at midnight and you got your taxi and got the hell home.
But it was a brilliant day. Best food I've ever had at a function.

Spanish Eyes

Purple Mountain wrote: »

You can't say that

Yes s/he can, why not?

Too much convention, and the aunties and the cousins will be disappointed. BLX really, they will be delighted for the wedding party and equally delighted to be sitting at home too lol.

Purple Mountain

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Yes s/he can, why not?

Too much convention, and the aunties and the cousins will be disappointed. BLX really, they will be delighted for the wedding party and equally delighted to be sitting at home too lol.

Yea actually, I've seen 2 very stressed brides at the few weddings I have been to.
It's probably hard to unwind when you've put everything into organising it.
One looked so unhappy in all the photos I saw after but it was sheer stress, she told me after.
The other was going around looking for painkillers

cj maxx

Purple Mountain wrote: »

You can't say that

So so true though

Spanish Eyes

Will the lockdown (even if relaxed a bit) affect big weddings going forward I wonder?

What do you think.

Spanish Eyes

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I was at a UK wedding a few years ago.
First off, all the guest's children were there, I mean babies too. Most tables had a little person or 2.
Then the bar was free ALL night.
I was expecting a stampede but any time, I looked up at that area, there was maybe one person there.
The reception was in a (poshish) golf club so there was no option of a residential bar or people staying over for a second day session.
The music stopped at midnight and you got your taxi and got the hell home.
But it was a brilliant day. Best food I've ever had at a function.

I was also at a UK wedding, was grand, over early enough and no three day event. I coped with that sunset clause on the day itself, lol.

Spanish Eyes

Be great if it was Weddings Online, and post your gift via paypal.

freshpopcorn

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

What exactly do people enjoy about big weddings?

I think some people end up in a bit of bother when writing a guest list. Now some people invite people hope for gifts, etc but lets not debate this.

However what I think happens with some people is they invite x and they they've to invite y and z for various reasons. It may be not to cause offence, be kind, etc.